| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| DvilleMama |
Posted - Jun 27 2010 : 10:31:40 AM
Hi all,
I just had a thought today & began to wonder if there are any other farmgirls who are also foster moms. Right now we are only licensed for our nephew who we're in the process of adopting. He's coming along quite nicely as a farmboy in training. He loves the outdoors, getting dirty, catching critters & visiting farm animals. So, it's been quite easy to instill the passion in him.
In the fall we plan on expanding our license to general foster parenting & becoming foster parents to other children in the system. I'm just wondering what other farmgirls do with foster kids when it comes to instilling the wholesome values we strive to live by on a daily basis. I'd love to hear your stories anyway. It would be great to connect with other fostering farmgirls! Thanks in advance!!
Lyn
Rural Mid-Michigan
Farmgirl Sister #1574
http://simplelifeseeker.blogspot.com |
| 10 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Lovely Rita Milk Maid |
Posted - Sep 02 2010 : 4:07:59 PM
Just wanted to add we are at the beginning of the adoption license process. We attended the orientation meeting, filed out the application and are awaiting the start of classes.
We have bio children of our own and are open to adopting a girl or set of sisters, 14 yrs old or younger.
We shall see what the future brings.
Thank you to the member that shared the positive story. So often all you hear/read are negative stories. I understand families that have been hurt by fostering/adopting feel that it is their duty to warn others, but it can be so disheartening. And it just feels like there has to be some good experiences out there.
Cowgirls, Gypsys & Wildwomen, Welcome Here. |
| DvilleMama |
Posted - Aug 22 2010 : 06:49:43 AM
Hi Penny, I'm so sorry for this personal devastation within your family. I have heard stories similar to yours where full details were not disclosed to the adopting parents. The child ends back up in the system or in an institution to protect the safety of other family members and themselves. My heart goes out to you and your family. Going into this, I am aware of the chance of this happening. My own family comes first, of course. However, I guess until we run into this situation, we will help the children. Yes, we will use extreme caution with each child that is placed with us. Thanks for the reminder. When the Lord calls, we have to answer.
Lyn
Farmgirl Sister #1574
Mid-Michigan Farmgirl Chapter
http://simplelifeseeker.blogspot.com |
| HennyPenny5 |
Posted - Aug 21 2010 : 11:04:26 PM
I hate to rain on anybodies parade but we have foster adopted 4 children. 2 international and 2 domestic. The domestics were an infant and a 12 year old boy. We were not given all the information on the 12 year old boy, lied to and all I can say for privacy sake is that we gave up our parental rights to literally save our other children. Needless to say it messed up our family for a long long time. Some of the kids have still not fully recovered. Be careful about fostering sometimes their baggage is so well hidden that by the time you find out, the damage is done. |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Aug 18 2010 : 02:57:34 AM
Oh, Lyn - that is so exciting! I'm so happy for you! I'm already looking forward to hearing from you! I'm here whenever you need a friend! Good luck! Hugs - Nini
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
Farmgirl Sister #1974 |
| DvilleMama |
Posted - Aug 17 2010 : 8:45:35 PM
Nini, what a beautiful story! How encouraging to know that there is hope for these kids. Hope for a family, hope for healing, hope for a normal life. All because somebody like you took the time to invest into lives of our hurt, broken youth. Thank you!
I may take you up on that offer of needing a friend sometime. From the time I first started this thread, I was getting antsy & couldn't wait until fall to get licensed for general care. We updated our information last week & the cw told us that we should have our general license in about 2 weeks. After that, we will be open for placements. eeeeeee!
Lyn
Farmgirl Sister #1574
Mid-Michigan Farmgirl Chapter
http://simplelifeseeker.blogspot.com |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Aug 10 2010 : 9:17:14 PM
Hi there! My hubby and I fostered over 30 teens for about a three year period during our late 20's/early 30's and loved it! My husband was hesitant at first, too, but when we left our introduction to the program, the first thing out of his mouth was, "Let's do it!" The conversation that ensued was life-changing. Even though we had families who loved us, all along the way we had incredibly loving people who invested their time in us, and who influenced us and helped shape us into the people we had become. We wanted to do the same for other kids and hoped to make a difference.
Since we had been told we couldn't have children, we bought a big old fixer-upper Victorian (figuring we'd be the "This Old House" couple). After visiting this program, we decided to fill it with troubled teens. We were a couple who wanted a family, and these kids needed a home and people to love them and help them while they worked through their problems. It was the best experience! And truthfully, Lyn - if you pray fervently, give them your time and love, and set the example, you'll find walking the walk speaks volumes to children. It may take time, but once they trust you, once they see you are the real deal, instilling the wholesome values will come naturally!
Our lives were so rich and so full. We had so much fun! The kids in the program called us the "spoiled kids' house" because we took our kids everywhere - church (only if they chose to do so, though), museums, cultural events, walking nature trails, to see historic sites, etc. We even took a couple of them on vacation with us to New England! 'Just anything we could do to get them out exposed to a larger picture... To this day, some of our kids still come back to visit, or pop in unexpectedly every now and then. They still remember... and they still come to us for advice, support, and even to use the washer and dryer or garage on occasion! LOL! And it feels so good when one calls for advice, or a recipe or even how-to instructions - talk about feeling the love!!! :)
I'll be truthful, it wasn't all roses, and sometimes it was even pretty difficult. You love and stress over your foster children just as you would your own. But our lives and hearts were so full because of them. I can't imagine what life would have been like had we not taken this leap of faith! We are so blessed and have received so much more back from these kids than we ever could have imagined. But, long story short, we were miraculously blessed with a little gift of love of our own, and after a while, we recognized that for us it was too difficult to juggle the needs of our son (who was sick a lot when he was an infant and toddler) with the special needs of the teens. We had to give up foster care. But we'd do it again in a heartbeat. In a heartbeat.
Do you want to hear the coolest thing? My first foster daughter (then 17, now 30) always tells me I'm her best friend in the whole world (and I love her like a sister, too... such a blessing!) and she and our first foster son (we affectionately call him "Junior" because he was our first foster child ever, and we love him as our own!) now have a wonderful family of their own (they met through us, but after foster care). We get to see them all the time! Actually, I was there for the births of all three children, and we're godparents to the oldest! Now, how cool is that?! Last spring, after the youngest was born, they all came over for a visit. Their oldest son was playing video games inside with our son. Our foster son was out in the garage with my husband working on their car. While dinner was in the oven, she and I were sitting together on the deck; she feeding the baby, as I was making play dough monsters and cars and roads with her toddler. I looked up and suddenly noticed tears in her eyes. I went over, hugged her and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing. I'm just so happy the kids know you and Charlie, that the boys get along so well, that we have each other. My kids will always know they are loved by you, they will always have a place; just like we do." By then, tears were flowing out of both our eyes. What an incredible gift our family is. Even their parents and siblings are part of our extended family - isn't that something! It doesn't get any better than this! Life is just plain good when hearts are full!
If ANY of you ever need a friend, I'm here. I would love to be there for you!
Hugs,
Nini
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
Farmgirl Sister #1974 |
| bjhuff |
Posted - Aug 09 2010 : 9:37:34 PM
My hubby and I have been foster parents for about nine years and LOVE it at the current time we have none I have three of our nieces and then lots of loving children. I love it allot we have been blessed we had some trying times as well- that is when the faith in the Lord comes in. Trust HIM in all that you do them they need HIS love!!!
***BettyJo**** |
| DvilleMama |
Posted - Jun 28 2010 : 6:22:01 PM
Hi Debbie, you are right where I was a few years ago. My husband, like yours, was supportive but not completely on board. We went to a foster-to-adopt seminar @ Catholic Social Services to learn more. That helped to open his eyes and his heart. Then I started getting foster parenting books, some were warm, fuzzy true stories, some were reference books that talked about the good, the bad, the ugly. Through time and much prayer, his heart is open now and so are his arms. He's ready to add to our family in this way. Having our nephew come live with us has helped him to realize how much he enjoys having little ones around. If I could recommend one book for you and your husband to read, it's "Small Town, Big Miracle" by Bishop W.C. Martin. It is a true story and very moving. It's a short, easy read. In regards to your husband, I've come to realize that when I follow my heart, my husband tends to jump on board willingly. What a difference you can make in a child's life through foster parenting and/or foster-to-adopt. Visit davethomasfoundation.org for foster/adopt statistics, Q&A's about fostering, etc. Lots on his site. Keep me posted on whether y'all decide to do this? I'd love to hear your updated story.
Jenny, bless your heart! Your advice is common sense but a very good reminder. Children learn what they live. Our goal is to help them to know what a healthy family is all about & include them in this no matter how long their stay with us. Our ultimate goal is to foster-to-adopt. We will be on the front line of fostering & if/when the Lord sees fit to allow us to adopt, we will. Yes, the workers, the court dates, the forms, etc (we don't have bio-parents to deal with now). We wouldn't have it any other way. Besides, it keeps us on our toes to keep the house clean ALWAYS. What a challenging blessing!
Lyn
Farmgirl Sister #1574
Mid-Michigan Farmgirl Chapter
http://simplelifeseeker.blogspot.com |
| Aunt Jenny |
Posted - Jun 28 2010 : 2:27:25 PM
We did foster care for years and 5 of our 7 children were foster kids we adopted. I think it is such a win win situation for kids and families in most cases. They DO come with baggage, and you DO have to deal with caseworkers and other adults who seem to make things harder by
"candycoating" how things are, or by leaving details out that would be great to know. BUT...I wouldn't change a thing. Our kids are awesome and I think the best way to help foster kids have the values your family strives to live by is to include them totally as a part of the family. If they feel that they ARE family, they behave like family. That includes chores, traditions and everything for as long as they are with you. It makes a huge difference. You kind of tend to get what you expect...of course that is true for all kids..foster, adopted or homemade kids alike....if you expect them to be a problem..they sure will do that for ya!! If you expect success you are much more likely to get it. It is awesome to see a kid just bloom and become a great part of a family...a way big reward for everyone involved. I am so glad to hear that more farmgirls are doing foster care and adopting....a great choice!!
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
| DebbieSue |
Posted - Jun 27 2010 : 9:55:49 PM
Hi Lyn...This is something I have thought about for over a year now! My heart is there, but my husband is not too sure. So, I don't want to pressure him into it, then things not work out. I am so proud of foster families, Bless you and your husband for what ya'll are doing! |
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