| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| goneriding |
Posted - Mar 22 2010 : 9:07:54 PM
"Friends welcome, Family by appointment".
Don't you just LOFF it??
It's working really well with hubby's family to ignore them. Something is afoot with them but I'm staying out of it. Hubby now knows better than to drag me into whatever is going on. MIL isn't happy with us but life bites sometimes, eh?? She said last week that their place is getting too much for them and they may sell it and then hinted that we should move back close to them (Oh, H*LL no) to help take care of the place. Ummm, no. Hubby didn't fall for it either. His daughter and SIL are living with his parents but they've bought their own place now (long story but his daughter has matured quite a bit and wants to be with her hubby now) and I suggested (I'm going to h*ll for this probably) that the in-laws can sell their place and move in with hubby's daughter!! That didn't go over so well, as you can imagine.
I kinda, sorta feel that MIL is trying to get her sonny back close to her to assert her control but we're not falling for it. Hubby can go but I'm not. I've had enough of that playing.
So, the upshot is that I'm happy, hubby is happy and that's all that matters. 
For some 'venting'-type of entertainment, please read my blog, http://lostadventuresintrucking.blogspot.com .
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| 9 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| natesgirl |
Posted - Apr 03 2010 : 12:03:32 AM
By the way, if you need to talk to someone who truly understands, feel free to email me. I'll get back to you any way you'd like. We farmgirls got to take care of each other!
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
| natesgirl |
Posted - Apr 03 2010 : 12:00:26 AM
Winona We Must Be Sisters!! I am in the bad side of your situation. I have fought since my DH and I wed for the right to live our life our way. His father passed away last year and I was finally pinned to the wall and had to move in with my MIL. I was in h*ll for 6 of the longest months of my life. I finally fell apart in a total mental breakdown. After 2 days of driving and crying I finally pulled into a rest area and collapsed. I woke up 10 hours later lost, scared, with no money or things with me. My cell phone rang and it was my DH. He had been calling and driving looking for me. I had it turned off the whole time but figured I needed to call my mom for help. When I went into the rest area to tell him where I was I discovered I was in Mississippi! He told me that he had hidden some money in the car for emergencies and that he was on his way to talk to me. I waited there. Figured he could come to me if he really wanted me. We spent 3 days in a little costal town there and talked about everything. Now the MIL has a seperate apartment on the back side of the house and we live our life our way. He always takes my side, I have the right to stand up for myself to her, and he tells her when it's none of her business. Even if other people are around! Sometimes it just takes them seeing that what they want can go away if they don't put in the work. My DH now says our marriage is a garden, it takes lots of work, real passion,tons of love, and no family can live without what it provides. Stick to your guns and don't give up on love. Don't take no cr*p that isn't neccessary, but always be open for chances.
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
| classygram |
Posted - Mar 26 2010 : 06:50:14 AM
Oh Winona,I just didn't want you to be hurt by all I said. I just want the best for you!!
Love ya girlfriend, Brenda
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony" Mahatma Gandhi |
| goneriding |
Posted - Mar 26 2010 : 05:24:43 AM
Whoops!! Oh no, I understood and wasn't offended. I reread my post and thought my reply sounded too abrupt and wanted to soften the tone a bit...but couldn't get the post to edit. I have problems like that on other boards too. The editing is beyond me so I usually make another post.
For some 'venting'-type of entertainment, please read my blog, http://lostadventuresintrucking.blogspot.com .
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| classygram |
Posted - Mar 25 2010 : 10:01:51 PM
I never doubted that you interfered in his family life. But you did right by drawing the line when they pull you into it. We have to take care of ourselves sometimes. If I said something that upset you I apolize. I guess I've been in this kind of situation and hate to see others when they are dealing with very controling people. It's not easy. But sweetie you have to do whats in YOUR heart. And I'm glad that you can come here and vent.
Blessings, Brenda
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony" Mahatma Gandhi |
| goneriding |
Posted - Mar 25 2010 : 9:22:25 PM
Can't get it to edit.
I want to say, I've never stood in the way of his talking or seeing his family. I draw the line when they get snotty with me and try to take over MY life with him. I wanted to make that clear. 
For some 'venting'-type of entertainment, please read my blog, http://lostadventuresintrucking.blogspot.com .
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| goneriding |
Posted - Mar 25 2010 : 9:19:31 PM
quote:
Originally posted by classygram
Winona your doing the right thing. If you and DH agree with you agreement, than stand strong together. It sound as if you wouldn't find any peace if they were to move in with you. And if you were to move closer, it would be a everyday thing that they would need something. It would soon get to the point that it wasn't your home at all, but her's.
Yup, that's exactly what it would be. We are truck drivers (Over the road) anyway and it wouldn't work. We have to make a living and this is the only thing we can do to make serious money, so it wouldn't work. But my MIL is really kind of selfish and doesn't think of that. Just move back close to her, never mind there aren't any jobs around!! Since I've basically given up on getting along with his city-side family (the country-side and I get on great), I've been able to stand back and watch from afar. I see things now that I didn't for the longest time and it ain't purty. So, I have to protect myself and leave them be. Hubby is still a bit torn but I've said he can take his pick, he's either married to me or he can go back to mommy. Smart man made the right choice in my book!!
For some 'venting'-type of entertainment, please read my blog, http://lostadventuresintrucking.blogspot.com .
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| classygram |
Posted - Mar 24 2010 : 05:08:24 AM
Winona your doing the right thing. If you and DH agree with you agreement, than stand strong together. It sound as if you wouldn't find any peace if they were to move in with you. And if you were to move closer, it would be a everyday thing that they would need something. It would soon get to the point that it wasn't your home at all, but her's. Believe me I've lived the quilt trip life with my mom, and I love her very much. But she is controling and I have had to step back and take control of what I agree with and what is good for DH and I. Our life doesn't exclude her, but we also have a life. But it has taken me 50 yrs. to do this. And still have times I slip back. I have a brother that just deals with her when it suits him. So the quilt was on me. Be truthful with her and try to help her find a way that they can live comfortable on their own. Or in a senior housing situation. They have some very nice one's if you look for them. If you need any help with that I could give you some suggestions. Hang in there, it will all work out.
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony" Mahatma Gandhi |
| cajungal |
Posted - Mar 24 2010 : 04:47:22 AM
That's funny! I love those kinds of signs with little sayings on them. I once went to a restaurant that had probably 100 of them hanging on the walls. My mom and I sat there and wrote down each and every one of them.
Whew! your family happenings sound stressful and like a soap opera! ha ha Hope it gets better for you.
One of the best compliments from one of my daughters: "Moma, you smell good...like dirt." |
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