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 Ugh! I love family, but HATE when they drop in!!!

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FebruaryViolet Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 08:20:40 AM
With a baby who (we try) to keep on schedule, me working full time 4 dogs, 2 cats and a busy life in general, things can get REALLY hectic around our house....so, this morning, when I got a phone call from an Aunt from Georgia stating that they were passing through town this evening and just HAD to see us and the baby, I felt a little....deflated. I love these folks...but they're retired and seem to have no concept that our lives are crazy busy. Violet has been sick for the last few days and up most of the night, so she's tired and I want to get her back to feeling well, and more importantly, back on schedule (bath at 8:00, bed by 9:00)...They also want us to always come to them at the hotel, or meet at a restaurant...With all the illness and no sleep this week, the house is less than stellar, and the dogs are muddy messes with the thaw, and I haven't ANY energy to rush home from work and do a mercenary clean up.

Would it be "ok" to ask them to simply come over and sit out on the porch with us to visit (it's a GORGEOUS spring day, here!!!) We hadn't planned on cooking anything miraculous for dinner, either and we really don't have any money to feed anyone else.

What would you girls do?


Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/
19   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
natesgirl Posted - Apr 03 2010 : 12:14:55 AM
Sometimes you have to ask others to be the ones to compromise instead of you always doin it all. I decided when I had my children that others had to compromise when it came to them. I have stood by that and ruffled a lot of feathers. But those same ruffled up clucks will tell anyone what a good mommy I am. "Her kids always come first!" they say. LOL! They don't like when you tell them no but they respect you for it.

God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important?
Faransgirl Posted - Mar 19 2010 : 08:09:15 AM
I use to freak out if my house was dirty when family dropped in. Then my kids told my Mom how it freaked me out and she told me that "When family comes they come to see you and not your house". If they truly are loving family they "come to see you and not your house". I finally learned to relax and find that my guests are far more relaxed too. Your Aunt might enjoy visiting with you while you get Violet ready for bed.

Farmgirl Sister 572

When manure happens just say "WOO HOO Fertilizer".
Lainey Posted - Mar 19 2010 : 07:36:14 AM
I think if you told them that Violet has been ill maybe they might want to do a raincheck on the visit or would be very understanding for a visit on the porch. Some of the best times I can remember are the porch visits with a cup of tea or coffee. That was done a lot at my grandparent's home. And as lovely as the day is it would be a treat to porch sit I think.

Farmgirl Sister #25

http://countrygirldreams.blogspot.com/


An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.'
texdane Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 6:40:49 PM
Or how about dessert and coffee? That way you don't have a mess of dinner dishes, and they won't linger too long. Always put your family and the baby first, so you shouldn't feel obligated to a big dinner. I agree with all the gals, but I also wish I had family that was close enough to "just drop by".

Nicole

Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE
maggie14 Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 3:32:57 PM
I think that is a grand idea Jonni!! A cup or tea or coffee would be wonderful too!
Hugs,
Channah

Farmgirl sister #1219


Friendship is not something that can be bought, it is earned.
farmmilkmama Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 3:10:56 PM
LOL Amy (Mrs Rooster), I honestly believe that sometimes people need to have their feathers ruffled!!!!

--* FarmMilkMama *--

Farmgirl Sister #1086

Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde

www.wakeupstartlearning.blogspot.com
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
MrsRooster Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 2:42:44 PM
I full agree with everyone. A porch tea sounds grand to me.

I had my daughter in Oct of 2004. It was one of the worst flu seasons. I stayed home with her no matter what. I had people asking me over, but I would say no. You need to do what you think is right for your family. Yes, you could possibly ruffle some feathers, but you are doing right by your family.



www.mrsrooster.blogspot.com

Farmgirl #1259
classygram Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 2:24:03 PM
I'm with the others! Ask for them to bring dinner and when the baby need fed and bathed and put to bed, just explain the schudule and surely they will understand. And like Amy said, If not....Oh Well! Your baby and family comes first. They surely have been in your shoes before so I really don't see a problem. They wouldn't want you to fret so. Go about you plans and when you can set down, just enjoy the visit and Tea! Be thinking of you sister!

Brenda

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony" Mahatma Gandhi
Annika Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 1:22:56 PM
Jonni, I do believe you are right, we would be sister-pals in a split second Let us know how it turns out and I hope that you have a nice visit with the folks!

Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Palouse Prairie Girls Chapter
http://palouseprairiegirls.blogspot.com/
http://prairiegirlsjournal.blogspot.com/

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
Alee Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 1:14:04 PM
Jonni- you should see my place right now after almost a full week of being down and sick- a mess is just not big enough to cover it! LOL I totally understand the worn out and exhausted part. Something about the kids being sick is just more exhausting than us older ones being sick. I think it's the emotional burden wanting to make it all better that gets me!

Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com
farmmilkmama Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 12:44:35 PM
Jonni, I'm with the other gals here. I'm not sure how old baby is, but I think that is kind of strange they want you to take HER out to visit THEM. A gathering on the front porch (after you explain about the sickness and plain 'ol exhaustion!!) would be the best thing I think! Good luck. I'm sure they will understand. And if not...oh well! You gotta keep your baby well and your family (at home) number one!!

--* FarmMilkMama *--

Farmgirl Sister #1086

Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde

www.wakeupstartlearning.blogspot.com
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
FebruaryViolet Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 12:02:45 PM
P.S. Annika...I wish you lived close, too...I think you and I would get a long like wildfire!


Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/
FebruaryViolet Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 12:01:39 PM
Thanks, Alee and Annika....I really would like to just keep Violet at home and not cart her all over the place tonight. Even though our days are really lovely, the evening brings a chill and (I think) it affects her congestion. Maybe I'll ask if they can bring a few salads from Panerra or something--I've got some homemade bread and I'll whip up some tea and wipe down the porch furniture and it should be a go!

Thanks for the support...I'm feeling just SO not myself this week...and it helps to know I don't HAVE to feel badly about it.


Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/
Annika Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 11:28:11 AM
Jonni ~ I have to agree with Alee here. Tell them how busy and dog tired you are and ask sweetly if they could bring dinner , they should understand with times being hard as they are. Or do a potluck style thing? dinner and sweet tea on the porch sounds lovely!
I wish I lived close and could lend a hand.

Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Palouse Prairie Girls Chapter
http://palouseprairiegirls.blogspot.com/
http://prairiegirlsjournal.blogspot.com/

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
Alee Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 11:23:21 AM
Jonni- How about suggest they bring dinner with them and then dine on the porch? Let them know you would have loved to dine out with them but your sick baby needs to stay home. Most people understand when the kids are little and sick.

Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com
FebruaryViolet Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 11:15:38 AM
Good ideas, girls. I just feel so bad that I can't just drop everything and "entertain" or that I can't be home to have a meticulous house all the time. And, I'm just dog tired after this week and don't even know if I have the energy to be charming!!!


Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/
Ingrid Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 11:09:41 AM
I would let them know what your week is like and then go with tea on the porch. They'll understand.

Give thanks to yourself everyday for all the wonderful things you do!
Kerbear Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 09:23:50 AM
A front porch and sweet tea sounds so fabulous!

~Kerry Anne
Farmgirl Sister #975
graciegreeneyes Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 08:45:08 AM
Maybe have them for tea? The porch sounds like a fabulous place to sit and visit. I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all - after all the point of the visit should be the catching up on visiting, just spending time together. Good luck Jonni!!
Amy Grace

Farmgirl #224
"use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without"

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