| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Room To Grow |
Posted - Oct 18 2009 : 7:50:50 PM
Hello, I recieved a call from my daughter yesterday about 6. Sh was not happy, in fact she was mad. And not saying very nice words about my neice who is 2 1/2yrs younger than me. My daughter told me she made a comment on my neices Facebook wall and was just wanting to know why she didnt wish me a happy birthday. Well neddless to say it rurned out to be a huge ordeal. I told my daughter not to worry about her (my neice). Or the things she said. And I told her that she knew what was true and what was her crazy ranting. But this has been coming. When I was in the hospital in May my daughter called our family to tell them I was in the hospital. Well my neice called her back and told my daughter that she hopes I will feel better. And there was no call from my sister or my mother. My sister is 72 and my mother is 90. I didnt expect my mother to call...she has begining stages of alzhimers. But my daughter was trying to take up for me. I am ot sure if I should email or call my neice to inform her ai was unhappy with her or just leave it alone. I am not close to any of my family. My daughter and I along with my grands are all we have to say we have family that is close. I made peace with my mother many yrs ago with my difficult childhood and that was all she wanted to have to do with me after that. My mothers mind is to far gone to reason with her now. And my sister is the same as my mother was when I was growing up. It is so disfunctional...thanks for reading my problems...But when I have issues I cant seem to work out. My friends on MJF's always sees things in a different light and it seems to help.
Thank you
Deborah
we have moved to our farm...and love it |
| 8 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Room To Grow |
Posted - Oct 30 2009 : 4:33:39 PM
Thank you ladies for all your imput and thoughts...
Deborah
we have moved to our farm...and love it |
| homesteaderbelle |
Posted - Oct 28 2009 : 10:50:44 PM
I am not sure of what advice I could give taht has already been shared. I am replying to say that I hope all of your family matters eventually work out. I am sorry your family is going through all this.
Belle
http://www.homesteaderbelle.blogspot.com/
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| goneriding |
Posted - Oct 25 2009 : 9:34:02 PM
Have my flame proof jammies on here but, honeslty, I couldn't follow all the who did what to whom sort of stuff in the posts. My gut feeling is there is a little too much drama going on and it's up to you to stop it, step above the fray and live your life, your daughter and grands. I have that little family unit now (not hubby stuff, my daughter, grands, son, etc) and ignore the rest of my bio family.
With FB, I've actually defriended family (both bio and in-law types) so that now I have a nice insular cocoon of people I trust and have FUN with. Anyone starts snarking at me, they are so defriended!!
To read funny stories about my cooking 'skills', please visit http://lostadventuresincooking.blogspot.com/
For uber-opinionated, pleasurable horse related reading, please visit http://horseinfoperson.blogspot.com/
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| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - Oct 19 2009 : 6:10:58 PM
Actually I've had very few problems on facebook, of course I just use it to keep up with my family and friends. And we've been using online communication now for at least 15 years and understand each other pretty well online, FB just makes it easier to consolidate! hahaha
But, yeah, I wouldn't contact some one on FB to ask them why didn't you.......fill in the blank. I keep my online stuff positive. If I have a problem, I try to do that where voices (modulation, tone, etc) can be heard, and understood easier then typed words.
Plus personally something as small as a B-day not being called, or contacted, people quite frankly are busy. I haven't recieved a call on my bday from any one since my grandmother died, years ago! hahaha And to tell you the truth, I didn't even think about it till I read this post. I really don't mind, of course, I also don't celebrate bdays.....I just call those I love, and those I love just call me, when we feel like it. Personally I hate the phone any way..hahahaha. I like person to person better, so if no one calls me, that's a great gift! hahahaha
Also asking why didn't you.....X, is kind of already putting them on the defense, maybe a better way would of been, did you know mom's bday was X...we had a great time, etc. Then maybe the reply would of been, oh you know I totally forgot, or I got so busy, well Happy bday Aunt...... cause that wouldn't of put her automatically on the defense. But, that's just my opinion.
BTW, I'm addicted to Cafe World! So I gotchya...on the games! hahahahah Now to go check my cafe! hahaha
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| Room To Grow |
Posted - Oct 19 2009 : 2:53:52 PM
I understand what you ladies are saying. My neice has a problem with screening her calls. I have tried to call her on several occasions but she has never called me back or answered her phone. My neice has done this to my Daughter too. So I am sure that is why she used the Facebook to communicate to her. I am not saying that was the right thing to do...I dont say much on Facebook. But I do love playing Farmville....I have told my daughter to just leave it alone. But so far my neice has sent 4 emails to my Daughter. And not very nice ones....And my Daughter has decided not to reply. Karen, I make sure that I am nice when they do decide to call...which is not much at all. But I dont feel I have done anything wrong...But my family loves to play the victom or marter...which ever is needed at the time. Thank you ladies..I do take all your advice to heart and respect everyones advice.
Thank you again
Deborah
we have moved to our farm...and love it |
| Ga Girl |
Posted - Oct 19 2009 : 10:04:43 AM
Deborah, this is just my opinion so take it as you want to but, I say if you know they are as they are just leave them be. If you, your daughter and the grands can be a happy family just let it be you all. Life is to short to be unhappy under any circumstance,so if dealing with family makes for unhappy times just leave them be and focus on those around you that you can have happy times with. If per chance they call or communicate be nice and friendly and that way you can be the better person just because they dont care dont act like you dont. They maybe going thru something you dont know about and can only deal with it by taking things out on others. Hope this makes sense. Im praying for you. Blessings,Karen
Create in me a pure heart,O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalms 51:10
www.KKJD1.etsy.com
http://farmgirlingastyle.blogspot.com/ |
| walkinwalkoutcattle |
Posted - Oct 19 2009 : 09:21:06 AM
I think that this might come off sounding rude, but, why did your daughter feel that the necessary channel for communication in family matters was Facebook? Couldn't she have just as easily called her, or written her an email?
I find that many things people say on sites such as facebook, myspace, im's, etc. get misconstrued, as the tone of the message from the sender is totally up to interpretation when it comes to the reciever. A innocent message like "Thanks." can be totally misconstrued to be snarky, rude, or otherwise.
I would just let dead dogs lie. If you wanted to "mend the fences" so to speak, couldn't you call your niece and say "I know my daughter was out of line, but, I wanted to say that I didn't mind that you didn't call on my birthday, everyone is quite busy these days. I know that you were thinking of me that day" or something to that effect? (ie: be the bigger person?) And couldn't you also call your daughter and ask her not to jump to conclusions on these sort of situations?
Why does your daughter let a silly online site effect both of your familial relationships? Life's too short, don't you think?
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com |
| 1badmamawolf |
Posted - Oct 19 2009 : 08:52:56 AM
I think anyone that spouts off on facebook or any other site like that regarding family, ( private info or family problems ) should be totaly ignored. It is rude, cruel , cold and uncalled for. I hate those sites, you are always reading something about them causing pain and suffering to others. I am very sorry that you had a bad childhood, and I'm sorry you are not able to work it out with your mom, but you tried, and made your peace and thats all that matters.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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