| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| greyghost |
Posted - Jun 09 2009 : 1:08:16 PM
Let me start this by saying I'm not a parent. ;-) I am one of those people that like to plan for every contingency though - an INTJ - if there's a plan A and B, both A and B have subsets for different outcomes, and the plans go on from there.
Whenever I read stories about how much it costs to raise a baby, I just have to question the common numbers that are thrown around. They add 1,800$ a year for housing alone - the extra electricity, space, etc. that a child takes up. This seems awfully high, as do a lot of the other numbers the experts throw in there.
This is all theoretical, one of those IF I got pregnant, THEN what? planning sessions.
I'm a thrifty woman, and I know a lot of you on here are as well. I have to think there are cheaper ways to bring in another mouth to feed. For example, we have a 3 bedroom home. Granted the other two rooms are pretty small, but how does my housing actually increase?
Food costs: I've thought about this, and provided I can breastfeed as long as possible, why can't I just throw dinner into the food processor and have that as baby food (watching for things a young digestive system cannot handle yet, of course)? If I have a juicer, I can make juice fresh for the baby (and us). I don't think we'd buy any junk kid foods, it would have to be a really rare occasion for me to cave on some sugar crap cereal as the kiddo got older. So I argue the added $1,500 in food bills, at least until Junior is in a growing phase and eating more than the parents combined.
Clearly baby furniture, clothes and sheets can be bought at yard sales for pennies on the dollar, so I'm not toooo worried about that cost. Besides that, I know my parents will send clothes all the time. lol. They've waited more than 8 years already for grandkids.
Child care: I work from home. I will want a babysitter from time to time - that saves an estimated 25K a year, according to today's TIME article.
I've seen patterns for diapers - I really can't see myself buying Pampers much. I hate waste. How do you gals deal with this mess? How do you wash those diapers and know they're really clean? How much of an added chore is it? What about baby wipes - do you have lots of rags on hand that get washed with the diapers? In a separate washing machine?
Education: I was home schooled. My husband was a teacher for 8 years in the public system. No way our child would go to a public school, he says. So no uniforms or "school clothes" - but lots of books and field trips, and kid activities like soccer and baseball, camps, etc. My husband still has boxes and boxes of class books and teaching tools he used in our attic - things useful up to 5th grade.
Am I missing something big here? I know the initial baby stuff costs a lot - between the crib, the stroller, high chair, car seats, etc. But after all that... how can a child really cost *that* much? |
| 9 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Annab |
Posted - Jun 13 2009 : 03:43:55 AM
Lynn,
Glad to see I'm not the onlyone here who is childless.
For us it's not so much the expense. As I would more than likely carry on some of the things my mom taught and raised us on.
Sadly, the childcare and disposable diaper issue wou;d have to be a reality.
But moreso. Our lifestyle is good now and uncomplicated. I'll be 40 next year and go through these bouts of doubt and guilt sometimes.
Before we ever take the plunge, we may have to go though a bit of genetic counseling though. I had a sister who was Downes and died at 2 weeks. And as a baby, I had hip dysplasia and consequently had to be x-rayed frequently at a very, very young age. I have been cautioned by my mom to avoid x-rays at all costs. Kind of hard when the durn dentist want to take them every other visit. So the threat of a less than normal baby scares me to death.
x-rays coupled with my age could only spell disaster.
And I really hate when when people try and guilt you into making a very personal decision.
True, when you are old and need someone to take care of you, a child could be of some comfort, but that's a sad reason to have one in the first place. |
| kristin sherrill |
Posted - Jun 11 2009 : 2:48:33 PM
My kids are 30 and 28 now. The first one was "free" and the 2nd one cost about $200 total for the birth and all that. I used cloth diapers, breast fed both, they ate what we ate most of the time, I homeschooled the first few years, went to thrift stores and parents bought alot for them, made alot for them. They never had designer stuff, ever, poor things. We never took them to Disney World. But we did camp alot and had great birthday parties for them. They were healthy, except Abby had lots of ear infections and had to have tubes twice. So I guess she cost more than Heather. But if you count all the times we had to take Heather to the hospital to get stiched up it evened out. We raised most of our own food even back then. And made them earn their own spending money. When their dad wad laid off we had a mowing business and they worked with us.
They were definitely not spoiled kids. I don't think we spent a whole lot on them at all. We always had enough. They didn't always get what they wanted but sure had what they needed.
I know this was SO long ago but I still don't think they cost that much. Although if they go to private schools and have the best clothes and eat out all the time it adds up even more than that.
So go to thrift stores, accept people's gifts, raise your own food and make their clothes. You could have 10 kids and it not make too much of a difference in your budget.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
| Alee |
Posted - Jun 11 2009 : 08:36:21 AM
There is a preschool/daycare place that is close to where we live that is about $800 a month for the learning environment. That would be super expensive for us, so we are looking into better options. I think you can do daycare more economically as well.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Jun 11 2009 : 07:56:37 AM
I had read this over and over, too, and thought, "how do these families do it???" and then we found we were expecting Violet. After it's all said and done, I think that Violet has been the LEAST of our costs this year!!!
The only things that I would actually calculate as yearly costs would be necessity--health insurance, clothing, food--our health care plan at work isn't the best, but after paying my deductible ($2k), we had only $200 to pay on her hospital stay, and all her baby wellness visits are free (to include vaccinations). Adding her to my policy cost another $50 each pay period.
We purchased most, if not all of her clothing at thrift, resale shops or on massive clearance, or had generous friends and cousins and I don't regret that at all--and I will continue to buy and get her clothing that way until she's probably in school, and will probably continue to do so after that! We did have a shower in which we got most of our major needs, crib, stroller and car seat. We cloth diaper using BumGenius which was a bit of a steep investment, but worth it considering they are onesized and will fit through potty training (especially on my little no waist girl!)...that was $250-$300. We do buy formula, which would be considered our major cost, but a very generous farmgirl on this forum sends me her coupons :), so it hasn't become too big an issue for us.
For me, education is really important, and I want Violet to attend a school where she gets all the attention her active little mind craves. So, we are putting money by for her schooling, because I imagine it will involve tuition!
Really, I can't see that our financial situation has been complicated more by a baby--it's the stupid car, stupid plumbing and everything else that breaks!!!
Edited to add "coupons" to paragraph 3, but also to say that I've been thinking on this, and trying to recall my own childhood...yes, 30 years ago or so, now, but I know this now: we didn't have much money--not much at all, but I never knew it. My mother was a sacrificer, and if I wanted it, she found a way. I was an only child, so that makes a huge difference as well. We went on vacation each summer with tons of family members to a rented beach house in the Outer Banks (split 8 ways it's nothing!) and had a wonderful time. We took a lot of "day" trips to places so that it always seemed we were doing something or other. I attended an Ivy League boarding school where tuition was close to $20k a year (at that time) but I had a VERY generous scholarship and my parents viewed education as a must. And this was a once in a lifetime opportunity for me. I studied classical ballet and the cost of pointe shoes alone $70.00 (every week or so) would break you, but they never let on. It only occured to me much later, that we didn't have much money but somehow, my parents managed to make me feel like we had everything. For Violet, I hope she never understands what "want" is, but that I can be as creative and as dedicated as my parents were to me in showing her the world is her oyster.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
| Marybeth |
Posted - Jun 09 2009 : 3:34:45 PM
It's the media or the government again telling us what to do and how to think. Babies are easy!!! I don't know where they get their figures but if we all were allowed to cultivate a little common sense and use it we would be just fine. I cannot believe that there are actual people who would go into a panic reading this 'stuff'. I don't mean you, Lynn---you obviously are questioning the stupidity of it all. MB
http://www.smallcityscenes.blogspot.com
www.strawberryhillsfarm.blogspot.com
www.day4plus.blogspot.com www.holyhouses-day4plus.blogspot.com
"Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here we might as well dance!" |
| babysmama |
Posted - Jun 09 2009 : 3:00:11 PM
I laugh at those articles, but also get mad because it is so deceiving. Children do not have to be so expensive and these figures are the working, put child in daycare, give child every latest gadget, and put child in Harvard sect. I have three children ages 5, 3, and 1. We live on a very small income but it's do-able. Here's how:
*I breastfeed until they are self weaned. No formula or bottle costs.
*I usually cloth diaper. When I do use disposables I use coupons or find good sales. Last year right around the time I had my youngest I found such an awesome sale at Walgreens that I was able to stock up on about 50 packages of diapers for $1 each (I combined a sale with a coupon and another coupon would spit out of the register). It's been a year and we still have tons of packages left.
*I furnished my first child's room with a crib, changing table, glider rocker, end table, lamp, and dresser and adorable Noah's Ark pictures all from garage sale finds. I paid probably $75 for everything and it was the best decorated room in the house. We then realized our daughter didn't need a crib (she co-slept), we never used the changing table. Depending on your parenting style, a lot of baby gear is not needed. With my second and third my must haves were just a car seat, swing, and a sling.
*I buy all their clothing at garage sales for 25 cents to $1. These are good brand names such as Gap, Hannah Anderrson, Gymboree, etc. They wear them a year or two and then I go ahead and sell them at my garage sales for what I paid, or sometimes even more. I tend to make money off these clothes in the long run so their clothing budget is almost $0 because it evens out.
*They are still young so don't eat a lot but we tend to have pastas, casseroles, and soups/stews a lot so the added expense of three mouths is almost nothing. I used to make a big pot of that stuff before and now we just don't have as many leftovers. I am sure when I have three teenagers in the house it will be more expensive but it is never as expensive as those articles make it sound.
*I am also homeschooling our children so our kids won't have to have the latest book bags, fancy clothes, etc. in order to "fit in"
*With medical bills I have to say that our children only have basic check ups. I don't know if the extended breastfeeding, not being in daycare, and our good eating habits help but none of my children have ever had to get antibiotics for anything (never had an ear infection, strep throat, or nothing) and never had a cavity. My daughter did break her arm a few years back so that was a lot of doctor visits but a good lifestyle can often cut down on doctor visits.
-Elizabeth |
| greyghost |
Posted - Jun 09 2009 : 2:57:25 PM
Thanks, Alee. You mentioned a few things I should have thought of.
Insurance: we go though Samaritan, I think it would make our total monthly payments an extra $50 a month to add a baby to the household. It does not pay for routine doctor or dentist visits, just the big stuff.
Maternity care: I want to go through a midwife, but haven't yet called around to find out how much that costs. I know going through a hospital is 12K out of pocket, and I don't think Samaritan helps with that unless you pay for a separate plan (which we do not). They can send out a letter asking for donations in addition to your monthly "gift" to help defray those costs. |
| vintagediva1 |
Posted - Jun 09 2009 : 2:41:12 PM
All 3 of my kids are grown and I'm not in the poor house yet, so I guess it's doable. lol
Michele
www.2vintagedivas.etsy.com
www.stitchingby2sisters.etsy.com
Love that good ole vintage junk |
| Alee |
Posted - Jun 09 2009 : 1:34:53 PM
Lynn- I think those figures are calculated for the household that puts the child in daycare, uses formula, uses disposable diapers,and buy pre-packaged babyfood. Most of what you pointed out is perfectly fine- I made Nora's Diapers until recently, used the extra fabric to make homemade wipes, washed them in the washer (no extra washer needed) and dried them in the dryer. You could tell if I over packed the washer because things just wouldn't smell clean and I would simply wash them again. Also vinegar disinfects and sanitizes so I just put vinegar in with the rinse to make sure everything rinsed clean and fresh.
I didn't feel that having a baby really increased our costs that much for the first year. If you do the well baby checks and immunizations taht can be a little expense but not too bad. Prenatal care and be costly whether you go to the doctor or through a midwife- so that is an expense but it differs depending on your community. Once they are older like Nora- a toddler- then there is more food wasting as they are still learning not to play with their food so I have seen our food bills increase a little- but not too bad. Nora self-weaned at 10 months.
The biggest expense that can add up is if they get injured and have to be taken to the hospital. We have had to take Nora to the ER twice (both because of things that happen in off hours) and each visit even with GREAT insurance is around $600.
Kids don't have to be a huge expense. I think that a lot of people get wrapped up in wanting to buy lots for their children which is sweet, but kids don't need to very much!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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