| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Buttercup |
Posted - Jan 21 2009 : 10:46:00 AM
... now please do not get me wrong... I love my children and love being a mother...
With that being said this is my dilemma...
My youngest are 8 and being told years ago that I would not get pregnant due to scar tissue, we were quite comfortable and happy with our lives and what we had. (to clarify for those who do not know me, we have four children DS 15 DS 12 and twin DDs 8 Before that I raised my little cousin for 3 years from age 6 months to age 3 1/2 So I have been "momming" for a while!) I was finally getting to focus on my education and some me time (though caring for my grandmother does take a little from that) and .... SURPRISE!!! I am expecting our 5th.
I feel so mixed. On one hand I am happy and feel blessed to have another precious one in our family. On the other side I feel tired, old (hormones talking?!?), and weary at the thought of starting again. I fear that I am too old ( and I am really not that old, just feel it right now) and tired to be a good mom like I was for the older ones.
I know it all sounds silly, but I feel so overwhelmed! Anyone else who has been down this road with word of advice or encouragement??
Thank you so much and thank you for letting me vent/lean on all of you.
Hugs,
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Buttercup |
Posted - Feb 11 2009 : 10:04:09 AM
Cassandra,
I am so happy for you and your precious addition!!! Of course it seems you were trying, while I was definitely not!!  And I shall be 38 when this one comes. But I do thank you for sharing!! I am so glad you are enjoying it so much and I am sure in time I will be too!!
Thanks Again!
Hugs!!
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
| Buttercup |
Posted - Feb 11 2009 : 09:59:52 AM
Linda,
 That would be wonderful!! My twins were very well behaved but did not sleep through the night until age one!! So that would be a welcome thing!!
Hugs!!
Talitha
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
| zachsmom2001 |
Posted - Feb 11 2009 : 03:13:33 AM
hang in there dear, it's a blessing to have a child to grow old with because they keep you from feeling and acting "old"! I have a 22 yo daughter and 15 years of trying gave me a handsome now-7 yo son. I was on bedrest for 28 weeks with him and he had 2 surgeries when he was an infant but now he's doing 2nd grade homeschool work with one of the toughest homeschool programs around, Abeka, and he's the joy of my life. He loves farming, animals, and hiking. Because of this boy my husband and I are now co-Cub Scout den leaders too. So, life changes but it's a blast and I wouldn't give it up for anything! Enjoy! PS I was 35-1/2 when Zach was born, now 42. I'd be thrilled to have one more! If only! |
| yarnmamma |
Posted - Feb 01 2009 : 11:42:04 AM
Buttercup, just think...some babies sleep all night...! and some are actually good and quiet and mild mannered.
Linda in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71 |
| Buttercup |
Posted - Feb 01 2009 : 11:36:04 AM
Lanna,
Sounds like you know of quite a few surprises!! And I am so glad that both yours and the others you know turned out so well! Thank you for sharing!
Hugs!!
Talitha
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
| Buttercup |
Posted - Feb 01 2009 : 11:34:02 AM
Terri,
Thank you so much for you vote of confidence!! I hope I get a load of energy to make it through the sleepless nights ahead and more!!
I am sorry you were unable to have one again, but I know a bunch of grandkids who sound like they will get extra helpings of love!
Hugs!
Talitha
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
| Lanna |
Posted - Jan 31 2009 : 11:47:31 PM
My third was a bit of a surprise (aka unplanned, although all of ours were technically unplanned). Granted, my oldest is 5yo though, so I'm still in the thick of young kidlets.
But there's a reason pregnancy is 9 months - to give you time to get used to the idea.
I was seriously freaking out those first 4-5 months.
Honestly, my first thought when I saw those two lines was "oh #$^%*& we're going to need a new car!" and "I already sold all my small diapers" and so on. Took me some time to warm up to the idea and come around to being excited (then by the time I was almost 42 weeks along I was more than ready to have her come out).
Now she's 7mo, and our family would feel odd now without her. Her older brothers dote on her, and now I have a shot at possibly doing girly stuff in the future (can't sign up boys for girl scouts!).
And fwiw, both my grandmothers had surprise children.
Paternal had her youngest 7 years after her third - he ended up being her go-to guy after Grandpa died.
Maternal had a surprise 5th after a nice 5-7 year break and then had another one (#6) for a playmate for #5 because of the age differences. #5 and #6 are the ones that basically took over the family farm for Papa.
Oh, almost forgot about my neighbor! She has a 20yo and 24yo, and a 5yo. Three guesses who the extremely unplanned surprise was. I'm closer in age to her girls than to her, which does sound a bit weird when you say it out loud.
So I think it was just kinda meant to be, you know? 
*****************
Lanna, mama to three little monkeys |
| 5 acre Farmgirl |
Posted - Jan 31 2009 : 10:26:44 AM
My DH and I have been married for 20 years(both 2nd marriages), with none of our own, we WANTED one of our own sooooo bad for years, now its too late, I guess someone bigger than you and I did not see fit to do so, so we will enjoy our Grandsweeties....
You can do it my Sister!!!! Hang on to one bigger than both of us....He has enough strength for you and I an the whole lot of MJs Farmgirls....
Farmgirl Sister #368
http://froccsfrillsfurbiloesandmore.blogspot.com
http://thecontentedwoman.blogspot.com
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| Buttercup |
Posted - Jan 29 2009 : 08:37:56 AM
Sherry,
Well I wish you the very best and I hope things go well!
Best Wishes & Hugs,
Talitha
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
| sharilyn |
Posted - Jan 28 2009 : 6:01:16 PM
buttercup
i hope you are feeling better.
no i am not pregnant at this time
my husband got fixed so i was making my doctors
appointment because those surgerys don't always take
my doctor is looking into me getting a hysterectomy
after more testing is done. so there is the other side
of all of this family making business.
|
| Buttercup |
Posted - Jan 28 2009 : 10:09:07 AM
Sherry,
So you are expecting now too?!! Then we can be surprise/start over buddies! Thank you for that! I think I just bottle my feelings so I can tend to my kids, DH, and grandmother... maybe I do need to scream and cry a little!  It might feel better after! But I promise to remember to laugh smile and dance too!!! You do the same! Many Hugs your way!!!
Talitha
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
| sharilyn |
Posted - Jan 27 2009 : 3:34:05 PM
i understand more than you know.
i have a daughter turning sixteen in a few weeks, my other daughter is thirteen and my little girl is five years old.
talk about starting ALL over.
i was getting ready to go back to school because the kids were in school all day and this was my turn to start on my career. it is still my plan i will start back to school next winter.
i have helped my mom raise my sister and brother after my dad passed away. I also helped my aunt raise her two kids since she was alone.
so being in my mid 30's i have raised kids for the last 20 years.
i told you this not because i want a pity party but because sometimes things are tough but they might be the best times of your live and you just don't know it yet! take care, scream, yell, cry but remember you also have to laugh, smile and dance
take care,
sherry |
| therusticcottage |
Posted - Jan 27 2009 : 01:06:32 AM
Linda - bless your heart!!! It's takes very special people to be foster parents and you're one of them! I don't think I could do it because I'd want to keep them all.
Handmade Soap and More! http://therusticcottage.etsy.com
The Rustic Cottage Blog http://therusticcottage.blogspot.com
PROUD FARMGIRL SISTER #100 |
| Buttercup |
Posted - Jan 26 2009 : 3:05:44 PM
Ingrid,
Thank you so very much!! I will take your advice whenever I can!! And thank you for letting me know how your surprise turned out!!
Hugs!
Talitha
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
| Ingrid |
Posted - Jan 26 2009 : 2:58:21 PM
Hello Buttercup: I can relate. I had two girls age 4 and 2 and a rocky marriage. Two months after I found out about my surprise (he's now turning 10) I become a single parent. I can relate to the tiredness, hormones, feelings, ups and downs, but after looking into my beautiful baby boys eyes my heart melted and I knew I could do it no matter what came my way. Children are a blessing and they fill a space in our hearts and our lives. Take care and talk to whoever will listen when you are feeling overwhelmed. Ingrid |
| Buttercup |
Posted - Jan 26 2009 : 10:56:13 AM
Farrah,
I am so thankful for you that your "oopsie" turned into such a blessing!! It is so wonderful in this world that such things can be turned into such wonderful blessings!! Thank you for sharing!!
Hugs!!
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
| keeperofthehome |
Posted - Jan 26 2009 : 08:36:24 AM
Oh, my yes I have an oopsie pregnancy! I was in college, unmarried, and sowing my wild oats 400 miles away from my parents. I got drunk, remember I was in college, and got my Bryson. It's a wonderful think that he came along since I have lost 4 precious angels since him because of my blood disorder. Yes, it was an oopsie, but he's the best oopsie I ever had!
Blessings!
~Farrah
http://oldfashionedhomekeeper.blogspot.com
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| Buttercup |
Posted - Jan 26 2009 : 06:21:21 AM
Linda,
Thank you so much for sharing. And thank you for telling me you feel everything will work out fine!! It is so comforting to have support and kindness! Thank you!
Hugs!
Talitha
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
| yarnmamma |
Posted - Jan 26 2009 : 06:07:38 AM
Over a span of 10 years my husband and I cared for many foster babies...all infants. We enjoyed them and he was so much help that I wouldn't have wanted to do it without him. I was about 43 when got our first... both my sons grown and gone. We were blessed to adopt our now 8 yr old special needs son and I am 59 years old! 
I have to tell you about me and the DREAM I had last night.
In my dream last night a group of people got on an elevator with me and left a little baby girl behind. I took her and spent the day with her walking around in her beautiful little dress. She didn't cry but just enjoyed each others company. After about 2 hours I found the place I had to take her back to. I wanted to keep her so bad!! I was crying when I woke up...real tears for having to tell her goodbye.
Your topic came up and am able to share the dream. I miss so bad having babies around and everything that goes along with them.
As I said I am 59 years old and still feel that way sometimes.
Just wanted to share with you! This topic is so nice I am enjoying all of your stories!
Love and hugs and God's blessing on your new one. It will be alright and I am sure of it!
Linda in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71
BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED FOR THEY ARE THE ONES WHO LET IN THE LIGHT!
Have a wonderful Farmgirl New Year!! |
| Buttercup |
Posted - Jan 26 2009 : 05:29:52 AM
Kay,
Thank you so much!! I really appreciate it!
Hugs!!
Talitha
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
| therusticcottage |
Posted - Jan 25 2009 : 09:37:52 AM
Talitha - you will do just fine! I loved being a mom again at 42. I found that I had so much more patience with her and spend so much more time with her. I knew how fast the years would fly by. Now I'm just ready to be done raising kids!
Handmade Soap and More! http://therusticcottage.etsy.com
The Rustic Cottage Blog http://therusticcottage.blogspot.com
PROUD FARMGIRL SISTER #100 |
| Buttercup |
Posted - Jan 25 2009 : 02:47:52 AM
Kay,
<HUGS> to you!! I am so sorry you feel so tired like me!!! It is NOT a good feeling! I will be cheering to the finish line in three years and send thoughts of strength and energy to me after that!! I am sure I will need it!! Thank you for sharing your story!!
Hugs!
Talitha
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
| therusticcottage |
Posted - Jan 24 2009 : 12:16:52 PM
My 2nd child was a big surprise. I had my 1st daughter at 18. When she was 5 we tried for years to get pregnant but couldn't. My husband had cancer a few years later and we were told we'd never be able to have children again. We divorced when my daughter was 12. I remarried and my new husband and I thought about having another baby (I was 38) because he did not have children. When I went to the doctor he basically told me I would have trouble conceiving because of my age and because my past history of problems. Four years later - I was 42 - I was pregnant! There are 24 years between my daughters. I have to tell you that I am tired! Having a teenager in my middle 50's just wears me out. I'm looking forward to her graduation in 3 years so I can be an empty nester!
Handmade Soap and More! http://therusticcottage.etsy.com
The Rustic Cottage Blog http://therusticcottage.blogspot.com
PROUD FARMGIRL SISTER #100 |
| Buttercup |
Posted - Jan 24 2009 : 10:23:42 AM
Dawn,
Thank you so very much for sharing!! I no idea surprise babies were so common.... I was surprised !! I am so glad you feel so happy on the other side of it all and from what everyone has said here and knowing myself as I do I am sure I will be too... just gotta get past this first hurdle! Thank you so much again for sharing and for your kindness and support!
Hugs!
Talitha
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
| Buttercup |
Posted - Jan 24 2009 : 10:15:29 AM
Marian,
Thank you so much for sharing your friend's story and for your thoughtfulness and hugs!! It always helps to lift a soul when discouraged and feeling tired and old!!
I thank you!!
Hugs!!
Talitha
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
