| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| lisamarie508 |
Posted - Nov 12 2008 : 05:45:20 AM
Of my daughter. I'm just so tickled that she still calls me for advice. She called me yesterday between classes because she was upset and told me she had to ask my advice because I'm the guru. Well, I never thought I was that! But ok.
The reason I'm so proud...this young man in her dorm has been pursuing her and she keeps telling him no. They had been friends for a month before he started asking her out. She told him she doesn't want a relationship now because she's afraid she'll put that ahead of her studies and that she just doesn't feel ready for a serious relationship. First, dd is only a freshman and this guy is a senior. Anyway, he continued the pursuit and she finally had to let him down a bit less than nice.
Now, he's trying to get their whole floor involved and everybody, including her roommate is calling her "Tin Woman" and telling her she's cold hearted and that she should give him a chance. Now, she feels awful and is questioning her judgment and wondering if everybody else could be right - that maybe she should give him a chance.
I told her to go with her first instinct as that is usually the right one. Don't second guess your decisions when it comes to how you feel or in regard to your future. I told her to stick to her guns and don't let others force her into making a decision that could make everybody else happy except her. I told her that they just don't understand it when someone wishes to stay single. So many girls and women believe that they HAVE to have a man (and I know a lot of them) and I have always raised my daughter to stand on her own and to never feel that she HAS to have a man. She used to get flack in high school over this, too. But here in Idaho City, she just didn't have much to choose from. I also told her that this young man is the first one outside of Idaho City that has paid her that kind of attention and it just wouldn't be wise to snatch up the first one that comes along anyway. She says she's been watching her roommate (a best friend) allow her homework to slide and stay out late with her boyfriend and then miss classes because she can't get up in the morning and she's afraid that she'll end up doing the same thing. Which is probably true. We all know what love does to us!
Anyway, I think I made her feel better. She has discussed this problem with two of her other best friends who are at different schools and they agree with her and pretty much told her what I did. So, I guess I just reinforced what she wanted to hear and made her feel better about her decision. I told her everybody else on her floor will get over it, just as this young man will. There will be other guys in her future. Besides, he's almost out of there since he's graduating.
It's just nice to see that my teachings have taken hold. You know how you tell teenagers stuff and it goes in one ear and out the other? I'm glad it didn't.
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My basket Website:
http://www.freewebs.com/lisamariesbasketry/index.htm
[size=1]My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com |
| 10 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| 5 acre Farmgirl |
Posted - Nov 27 2008 : 10:33:24 PM
Good advice, mom!!!!!
I would be sooo proud of my DD also.....
Tell her good JOB!!!
Farmgirl Sister #368
Please visit my new blog....We are looking at the question..."Are we as women really created to be his Helpmeet?"
http://thecontentedwoman.blogspot.com
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| lisamarie508 |
Posted - Nov 13 2008 : 05:50:58 AM
Heather, it appears you may have hit the nail right on the head. Yesterday, this guy went to my daughters room and questioned her again as to why she won't go out with him and then told her that there would be "consequences". That worried her a bit. And us, too. Sounds like a threat to me. I insisted she tell her RA if for no other reason than to make sure someone in authority knows what's going on.
Then we called her best guy friend that she grew up with and told him what was going on and he was ready to go pound on the guy. We told him no, not to get himself in trouble, but we'd appreciate it if he'd go talk to him and tell this guy to leave her alone. He's very protective of our daughter. Always was while they were growing up. He even promised her dad that he'd look out for her when they all graduated because they were going to the same school.
I hope that's all it takes for this guy to get the message.
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My basket Website:
http://www.freewebs.com/lisamariesbasketry/index.htm
[size=1]My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com |
| lisamarie508 |
Posted - Nov 12 2008 : 4:40:36 PM
Heather, I kind of got that feeling myself. From what I understand the guy's family has money and I'm thinking he could possibly be one of those who just isn't used to being told no? In any case, she has no romantic feelings for him, so I don't believe she'll ever change her mind. Especially, when he's recruiting people to plead his case and try to "manipulate" her feelings. Good point, by the way.
I agree, Alee. But you know how some people just won't accept no for an answer? I'm sure it will all blow over eventually. Like I said, he's a senior and almost out of there.
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My basket Website:
http://www.freewebs.com/lisamariesbasketry/index.htm
[size=1]My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com |
| Alee |
Posted - Nov 12 2008 : 1:02:10 PM
Lisa- You daughter is so sweet, I can see how this situation would really be hard on her. I think she made the right decision and she was honest with him from the get go- so he only has himself to blame if he did get hurt. He should have backed off and let her be or just be her friend.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our blog: www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - Nov 12 2008 : 12:29:59 PM
If this indeed did "hurt" the guy she needs to make sure then she NEVER has anything to do with him romantically. Cause there is something wrong with him, if after only a few weeks, he can't take a woman saying "no" to dating him. What would be next to hurt him if she said no? Sounds like he is a manipulator which could turn to a abusive person!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| Miss Bee Haven |
Posted - Nov 12 2008 : 11:41:09 AM
Lisa - You have a thoughtful, intelligent young woman who knows her own mind and has inner strength. WOW! Congratulations on a job well done and to her on having the courage of her convictions. Farmgirls are strong women! :)
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
| lisamarie508 |
Posted - Nov 12 2008 : 11:20:41 AM
Thanks, Alee. I'm sure going to the RA or RD hasn't even occurred to her yet. I didn't even know that. I'll suggest that to her to do if things get any worse for her. Normally, name-calling shouldn't bother her, but it's making her feel as if she really hurt the guy, which was not her intention. She's always been very sensitive to other's feelings and it actually hurts her to think that she hurt someone else.
I am so very glad that she has such a level head and is so honest with herself. I truly believe that she will do so very well and go far in her life. I do feel great knowing that she is thinking before leaping even when I'm not right there!
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My basket Website:
http://www.freewebs.com/lisamariesbasketry/index.htm
[size=1]My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com |
| Alee |
Posted - Nov 12 2008 : 06:19:11 AM
That is awesome, Lisa! Also let her know that she should talk to her RA (Resident Assistant) who should be an older student who is paid by the college to be a bit of an on-the-spot counselor or her RD the Resident Director who is an adult and is kind of "In Charge" of the dorm. If people start making her feel bad the RA and RD have resources to handle it behind the scenes and help the situation a lot.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our blog: www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| kristin sherrill |
Posted - Nov 12 2008 : 06:08:00 AM
That is so neat! You should be very proud of her. There are not a lot of girls like her anymore, for sure. Sounds like you've done a great job of raising her. I would not worry at all about her making a dumb descision. Good job, Lisa. Tell her for me, too, that I am proud of her and I don't even know her. But it makes me feel good that there are such smart, intelligent young women out there who do not jump at the first guy who comes along. She knows her heart and what is important to her at this time in her life. Good girl!
Kris |
| Suzan |
Posted - Nov 12 2008 : 05:51:49 AM
Isn't it a great feeling?!!! I have 4 kids, son 39, son 37, daughter 29, daughter 25. I've always said as they got older I got dumber until they got out on their own...then I suddenly got smart again!! |
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