| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 08:24:58 AM
inkling someone might be racist or prejudice? I was talking about the hurricane and I said I am praying no one get the hurricane, that is just dissipates and everyone is safe. This was with a neighbor. She goes "Better them than us." I was like "Well I think they have been through enough (referencing New Orleans)." She was like "well, better THEM people than us." Then, later on I heard her say something deragatory about someone who came into her store, based on the color of their skin. She has made comments about what she calls "rednecks" and she has a slight problem with obese people (which I am, so I wonder what she says behind my back..ha!)
Now, as someone who has been discriminated against because as I was told "You don't look white..." ( I am half Italian and tend to tan really well and stay darm most of the year) I cannot tolerate racism, sexism, prejudices or anything else.
P.S. I hope I don't offend anyone here. I just need some girlfriend advice on this. If this offends ANYONE here, I will delete the posting..It just makes my stomach turn when I hear something like this.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
| 14 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| babysmama |
Posted - Sep 02 2008 : 09:55:17 AM
If she ever says something like that again you can ask "What do you mean?" quite innocently. It will either make her stop in her tracks or if she she explains how she looks down on others for their race or weight you could say something along the lines of judging someone by their heart, not looks and walk away.
-Elizabeth |
| chickabella |
Posted - Sep 01 2008 : 05:22:42 AM
Many people continue making racist statements because they believe the community supports their views. Personally, I think if I'd heard that "better THEM" statement, I'd level a flat "I disagree with your opinion" and go about my business. You don't have to pick a fight or make it personal; just let folks know you don't agree. Good luck if you have to deal with this sort of situation again!
 Farm blog: http://farmnatters.blogspot.com
Heart of Texas Farmgirls Chapter; Farmgirl Sisterhood Member #275
pic: Maggie & Bandit, our two Great Pyrenees puppies, playing "Shark Attack!" |
| shepherdgirl |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 10:43:45 PM
"Judge not, lest ye be judged." Sadley, it IS a part of human nature and we are ALL guilty from time to time of comments we shouldn't make about others. It's just that some of us are more aware of that fact than others and at least make an EFFORT not to do it. I whole heartedly agree with Jamie and Karin, but I also agree with LaLuna. It's best to let the snide comments slide, but sometimes we DO need to stand up and put people in their place. Just ignore her Heather. If she goes out of her way to seek you out to make those nasty comments, THEN I'd call her on them, but in a "tactful" way.
Funny, but my siblings and friends say I have quite a way with "putting people in their places," and I never have to raise my voice or launch a direct attack to do it. I can easily insult the nasty someone and be LOOOOONG gone before they even realize it!! (but I only do it when I'm defending someone else, or they just NEED a good comeupance!!!) Good thing I use my powers for GOOD and not EVIL!! (he..he...he...!)
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. ~~ George Carlin |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 1:39:01 PM
My biggest memory of Katrina was I was at work. I was in the military, 3 months pregnant and where I worked, I had to have FOX news turned on 24/7. There was a woman with a naked baby, no diapers, formula, and was rationing the bottle of water to keep that baby alive. She was one of those trapped across that bridge they wouldn't let them cross and the busses were not coming. That is etched into my head forever so I would NEVER wish that upon anyone.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
| simplyflowers |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 12:26:12 PM
Hey COUSIN!!!! :)
I'm so sorry you've had that experience. It certainly is hard to know what to think when people as such make their little comments!! GRRRR....As these people go around judging others based on there ackground or color of skin, etc., I have to remember to feel sorry for these people personally.......as they are the ignorant ones. "Better them than us" --Is that what she said?? All I can think is about when I just read that was those poor people, AND CHILDREN, AND ELDERLY, and pets that suffered, it just makes my heart heart. Know one deserves that, especially any more because the color of skin, ethnic background, size, age, upbringing, status in society, or anything else. It's just not right! :(
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." -- Thomas Edison |
| Jami |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 11:27:40 AM
Bon appetit, Heather. I love fish tacos!
Jami in WA
Farmgirl Sister #266
http://woolyinwashington.wordpress.com/ |
| Alee |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 10:28:35 AM
I have to agree. I would just ignore the little comments and maybe try to limit time spent with her. As much as we would love to believe that we could find the right words to lift the veil from someone's eyes, they have to find it within themselves. If it really gets you riled you could politely say "Well, we'll have to agree to disagree on that" or something such that shows where you stand but isn't confrontational. *hugs* I know this is hard. I have been in much the same situation!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our new blog:
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 10:26:00 AM
Yes, I agree with Jami and I am making fish tacos tonight..so your comment is timely as well!!! HA!!!
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
| Jami |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 10:18:51 AM
For what it's worth, my belief is that everyone holds prejudices...maybe not in relation to color of skin or race but it's there for other things, social status, financial prejudices, messy people versus clean people, heavy vs. skinny, etc. we just can't seem to help ourselves. Prejudices seem to be based on how we are raised and what we are exposed to and our own comfort zones. When we get pushed out of our zone, we feel uncomfortable enough to want to separate ourselves from "those people"...i.e. the "different" ones.
I am a live and let live sort of person. It takes all kinds of people to make this world turn around - some I embrace to my "circle" and others I decide I won't cross paths with if I can help it or I keep it superficial (I hate that but tact and diplomacy have their place.) So my advice is if you're not super close with the neighbor, enough to tell her how you feel about her comments, then move on and don't give her power over your emotions and your thoughts with her thoughtless comments. It's wasted energy on your part and you have bigger fish to fry, right?
Jami in WA
Farmgirl Sister #266
http://woolyinwashington.wordpress.com/ |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 10:15:26 AM
Thanks ladies...I am not one to bite my tongue but I also don't like to argue with people...ha!! me quiet...NEVER!!!
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
| laluna |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 10:06:57 AM
The only problem, imo, in remaining completely silent, is it tends to lead us down a slippery slope, a la Martin Niemoller's poem about the inactivity of German intellectuals during the 1930's:
When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.
When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.
When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.
When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn't a Jew.
When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.
For actual ways to respond in situations that you feel people are speaking inappropriately, I recommend this site: http://www.tolerance.org/speakup/sixsteps.html I've used many of their materials in my classroom, and it has really opened my students' eyes.
"I believe in God, only I spell it Nature." -- Frank Lloyd Wright |
| DaisyFarm |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 09:19:41 AM
I completely agree with Karin. All through our lives we meet people whose opinions are different than own. We have two choices...smile and nod politely or be confrontational and possibly cause hard feelings. I find the first one requires far less negative energy.
Di on VI
Farmgirl Sister #73 |
| melanie47601 |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 09:16:20 AM
Heather, I agree with Karin. But I can feel where your coming from. I've never had anyone dis me for being a redneck. Even if they tried I don't think it would phase me much. The weight comments though, they hurt feelings more than people realize. I know what Karin says is right. turn the other cheek and be a better person. Sometimes it's just difficult to do that. Then of course I live in a somewhat prejudice area. That's a bad generalization on my part. Sorry to anyone who's in my neck of the woods. I don't mean that everyone here is like that. It's just we do have more than a few bad apples. But on the brighter side of things, it's not as bad as it was say when my parents were growing up here. My nieces and nephew are mixed. At first I had worried about my sister raising them in our little backwards town. Well our lil town made me eat my words. They are treated just like everyone else. Every now and then someone out at the apartments where my mom lives, where I clean will make a comment around my mom kind of about the kids and she goes off like a shot. Mom is very quick tempered. So far I have not heard any comments and chances are I would probably be as quick tempered as mom.
But I think you really need to try to not let these kinds of folks get to you. That anger stays with you and it only hurts you in the long run. Maybe just try to distance yourself from people you know have tendancies to act like that.
Melanie
~blog~ http://wheelsarealwaysturning.blogspot.com/ ~shop~ http://www.brokenin.ecrater.com/ |
| Mumof3 |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 08:48:43 AM
Heather- You just have to let it roll off your back. Every one has their opinion and, whether we like it or not, they can express it at will. Best to be an example than to try and confront her.
Karin
Farmgirl Sister
# 18 :)
www.perfectlittlemiracle.blogspot.com
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