| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| 22shortie |
Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 12:00:09 PM
I'll try to make this story as short as possible. My husband and I live six hours away from his mom and step dad. She wasn't a very good mom while her was growing up but they have patched things up a bit. Anyway, we visit them about three or four times a year, sometimes less. My mother in law has mentioned several times that she would like to come spend a week with us. Well, she told my husband today that she wants to know when will be a good time for her to come AND she is bringing her other grandchild with her ( a 6 yr old terror) with her. I am just curious if anyone has had a MIL stay over for this long and what can you tell me from experience? I don't know what we'll do for a whole week because I have nothing in common with her at all. DO I involved her in my normal routine or change up everything to entertain her? This is one of those very dilicate situations because my husband is very sy[pathetic towrds his mother and I am nice to her for his honor alone. I'm dreading this but maybe the sooner it's over the better. ARGHHHH!!
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| 11 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| 22shortie |
Posted - Apr 26 2008 : 09:45:41 AM
Thanks lea! I do sometimes forget to actually pray about these things before I scurry around trying to take care of it all by myself! I am so encouraged now and I really think that something good will come out of her visit! I just needed a little encouragement~
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| farmgirl blessings |
Posted - Apr 25 2008 : 10:04:11 PM
Oh you poor dear! My mil lives next door. My husband and I always tease that if she was a flower, she would be a daisy. From day to day, we wonder if "She loves me" or "She loves me not". Another time when we lived in another state, she told us that if we didn't get a microwave oven she would never visit us because she must have her coffee warmed for 30 seconds every hour until she is done with it ~ We never did buy that microwave! LOL
But on the more serious side, just try to "love" her for your husband's sake. Remind yourself that nothing she says or does can change anything or affect you. Be your sweet, wonderful self and after she leaves you'll feel so wonderful that you did your best regardless of her reactions. I think your plan to maintain your routine with a couple little extras is perfect. And don't forget to pray, pray, pray! Wishing you the very best!
Blessings, Lea
www.farmhouseblessings.blogspot.com
www.farmhouseblessings.etsy.com
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| 22shortie |
Posted - Apr 25 2008 : 12:53:05 PM
ha! That sound slike trouble! I dont have an extra room either so she may think twice about staying here at our house ( at least I'm hoping she will) :)
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| Amie C. |
Posted - Apr 25 2008 : 12:05:32 PM
My MIL just announced that after she moves out of state to live with my SIL, she'll expect to spend a few weeks (!) at our house every summer so she can visit her friends and enjoy the cooler weather in our hometown.
I'm like you, Rebekah, I don't like having my routine thrown off. And we don't even have a spare room. She'd be taking over our computer/project room. Urgh. Fortunately, she hasn't moved yet. And I'm not completely sure my SIL knows that her mom is planning to move in with her! |
| one_dog_per_acre |
Posted - Apr 25 2008 : 10:38:37 AM
My MIL wants to stay a month. have a good day.
Trish
Farmgirl Sister #91
Make cupcakes not war!
FREE TIBET! |
| 22shortie |
Posted - Apr 25 2008 : 10:10:38 AM
Thanks girlies! I have a real obccesion with routine and maintaining a regular routine and I DREAD having someone else in my space. I am a great hostess and very hospitable when I plan to have company over for a visit,, but a WEEK! C'mon, thats really pushing the limit with me. lol,
I think I'll plan a few things to do with her and then continue doing what I normally do. i definatly don't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing me with my feathers ruffled :) I think thats what MIL's live for : ) ugh..wish me luck!
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| Alee |
Posted - Apr 25 2008 : 09:38:08 AM
I had my MIL come stay with us for a week about a month after Nora was born. We had our routine down and she just enjoyed being taken care of, actually. She had a room to herself and often would go there to read my MJF magazines or to take a nap. It was nice, but I too had actually dreaded the visit as sometimes it is a struggle to find common ground with her. I too say you should stick to your routine. It's your house and family and you know what needs to get done. *hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our new blog:
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com |
| 4forMe |
Posted - Apr 25 2008 : 08:09:18 AM
I am thankful that our family live near us, except for BIL's and SIL's both his and mine. I don't enjoy guests staying with us. I always get anxious and nervous about having someone in my space. I wish I wasn't this way, I've tried to pin point my problem and work through it but haven't had success.
Anyway, I wanted to wish you luck. If it were me and I was forced to have guests stay with me, I think for me the easiest thing to do would be to schedule a few special short local trips but otherwise go on with your usual routine.
Sewing, knitting, gardening mom of 4. |
| kissmekate |
Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 12:55:54 PM
Rebekah,
I would, for the most part, just stick to your normal routine, jsut include her whenever possible.
Also, maybe throw in a few extra fun things to entertain her a little. Even if it is just going for a little walk.
I am sure she doesn't expect you to stand on your head to entertain her the entire week.
As for the little terror, I would (gently)lay down the law with him/her right away, and tell him/her that you expect him/her to follow some rules while in your home-ie:Be respectful of others etc.
Usually kids like him/her are dying for a little rules and boundaries and chances are, you will see a total transformation.
And you never know, you may end up enjoying her visit.
Don't miss out on a blessing, just because it isn't packaged the way you expected. ~MaryJo Copeland |
| KYgurlsrbest |
Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 12:51:19 PM
I surely wish I had some sage advice for you....but I don't. My MIL is super perfect and doesn't like dogs or cats (so we have 4 dogs and 3 cats) and that keeps her away, actually ;)
What I recall when my gran came to stay with us, or aunts or in-laws, my mom usually went about her business like always. She might take a day or two off of work to make a long weekend and we'd go to a park or something, but overall, she'd just do some hyper cleaning before the arrival and after that, it was normal + another person. She didn't believe in changing up my routine at all when I was a child...and that's probably a good idea.
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
| happymama58 |
Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 12:46:11 PM
If you are uncomfortable with her bringing the 6 yr old terror, I would simply but honestly tell her that you would love for her to come visit, but you would rather it be just her for at least this first visit. If she asks why and you *want* or feel comfortable explaining, by all means do. If you don't, tell her that this is just what you and your husband prefer.
As for what you do when she's there. Well, we lived from family the first 8 or so years we were married and we had company from both sides of the family several times a year. I did a little of both -- somethings I did as normal and others I either didn't do or included them or something along those lines.
For example, I was in a Tuesday morning Bible study. I did not ever skip that, even when we had guests. I simply said I had an appointment and went. If you do something without her,it would give your dh time to spend alone with his mom. Or she could rest, or she could do something on her own. I also usually went for a walk every morning. I invited my mil along with me, but I didn't invite another person that visited. I put it so it sounded like I was doing her a favor -- "Mary, I know you need some time to yourself and I need to get my morning walk in, so I'm going to walk every morning for about 30 minutes." I might even make a joke about how I'm sure Mary needs a break from me, so I'm going to get out of her hair for a bit.
I'd do what I'm comfortable with and what you think is the respectful way to treat your mil. You may not like her, but (to me) that's sort-of beside the point. As you said, you're doing this out of respect for your husband, which is admirable.
Good luck & enjoy. The time will pass quicker than you expect.
Some people search for happiness; others create it.
Please email me for all your Mary Kay needs! |
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