| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Miss Bee Haven |
Posted - Apr 21 2008 : 10:49:51 AM
My ds is getting married in October. He and his fiancee have been looking for a house here in Louisville. When we met for dinner last Friday night, they said they just had a bid accepted on a house. Yippee, right? Well, I'm not so sure. They told us all along that they were checking everything about the neighborhoods they had narrowed the search down to - crime rate, schools(she has a three year old), etc...So they are apparently buying a house in a not so good area - high crime rate(theft-break in type) and the two grade schools only rate 4 out of 10. So should I say anthing or just zip my lip on this one? I really don't want to be the bearer of bad news. What happened here? And when her parents from Cincinnati(both have 6 figure salaries and I think they think we're bumpkins) see this place, will they blame me for not speaking up????? Opinions, anyone?????
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
| 14 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Hideaway Farmgirl |
Posted - Apr 22 2008 : 12:19:09 PM
chuckle...they do have to do things their way, don't they? Oh well, better late than never.
Jo
"Wish I had time to work with herbs all day!" |
| Miss Bee Haven |
Posted - Apr 22 2008 : 11:39:37 AM
I'm hoping that too, Jo. There are some nice homes being built at the end of the street now. This is a big step for my ds and it will take most of what we managed to save for him when he was growing up. He's now planning to go back to college - he actually said he needs a degree to apply for a better job(didn't listen to that piece of advice from me, either).
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
| Hideaway Farmgirl |
Posted - Apr 22 2008 : 11:27:06 AM
Oh, I am so glad your DH was able to talk to your son about the concerns you both have. You've done your part...let's just hope they are moving into a neighborhood on the rise to better times...
Jo
"Wish I had time to work with herbs all day!" |
| CountryBorn |
Posted - Apr 22 2008 : 08:02:26 AM
Janice, your husband talked to him, so there is really nothing else you can do. Just hope it all works out ok. If it doesn't, then they will have learned from the experience. That is what life is all about right?
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
| levisgrammy |
Posted - Apr 22 2008 : 05:59:52 AM
I believe we need to let them make their own choices in the end. I'm sure if they are like everyone else during this economic fiasco we are in money played a large part in it all.
farmgirl sister #43
Kind hearts are gardens
Kind thoughts are roots
Kind words are blossoms
Kind deeds are Fruits
www.torismimi.blogspot.com
www.torisgram.etsy.com |
| Miss Bee Haven |
Posted - Apr 22 2008 : 05:36:16 AM
Thanks for all the good advice. David had a short, non-interfering talk with Doug and it's now time to let it go. Doug thinks the neighborhood is okay(he said everybody keeps their grass cut...). The house itself looks cute and is a large house with a lot of new/remodeled stuff for the money. The real estate agent probably took them to see the house and went from the side where the streets/houses look nicer. If you come at it from the other side, it doesn't look so hot. But at least when we rode past it last night, I didn't see many dogs at all. I was all set to let it go and be at peace with it - feeling good this morning - then the first news report was about a shooting in the 'Newburg' area. At least they won't lose money on the house.
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
| CountryBorn |
Posted - Apr 21 2008 : 6:03:43 PM
Janice ,just my opinion, I believe I would have your husband talk to your son.He has had the experience with the area, and somehow advice from Dad to son never seems like they are interfering. I do think they should know about it. If they find out you knew ahead of time and never said anything that could be a touchy one too.Especially since they have been so concerned about the right areas to live in.
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
| KYgurlsrbest |
Posted - Apr 21 2008 : 4:31:57 PM
Janice, that is a tough one. Our law clerk is experiencing something similar, except her parents WON'T stop interfering with their first time home purchase. She wants their opinions, but she doesn't want to be made to feel like she and her fiance don't have any sense...but her parents haven't caught on.
Maybe Dave could say, something like, you know when we were talking a few days ago about the new house, I kept wondering why that street name stuck in my head....and then off to the races. The only thing is, if they're in contract, the only way they can back out now is if there is something structurally wrong with the house, which is more my concern--that they won't be able to get out.
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
| bboopster |
Posted - Apr 21 2008 : 2:24:29 PM
I like DH talking to DS. Much better. I am always wondering when I should say something and when I should not. So I try to think what the consequences of the situation would be. I figure it is is only a money thing they recoup. Might hurt but most life lessons do. But when it comes to safety I would draw the line.
My DD married into a family that thinks I'm a country bumpkin. It works to my advantage as I never feel like I have to compete with them and they are always jealous as I don't have the bills they do, I eat better food, and just all around like and enjoy life. Not much to compliant about. They always have something to complain about. 
http://www.bboopster.blogspot.com
3 Blue Star Mother and Proud of it!
Pray for our troops to come home safe and soon.
Enjoying the road to the simple life :>) |
| Miss Bee Haven |
Posted - Apr 21 2008 : 12:00:26 PM
I'm thinking maybe my dh having a 'man to man' talk from his past experience in the area.
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
| Hideaway Farmgirl |
Posted - Apr 21 2008 : 11:48:10 AM
Yes, Tamara said it best:
The "difference between daily interferance and bringing up info about an area where they are getting ready to make a BIG investment"
Jo
"Wish I had time to work with herbs all day!" |
| corporatefarmgirl |
Posted - Apr 21 2008 : 11:43:51 AM
I found it difficult to redefine my boundries as the kids got older. You know we still want to keep them from bumps and scrapes of life. There is a difference between daily interferance and bringing up info about an area where they are getting ready to make a BIG investment.
I agree with Jo and I too would suggest bringing it up to ds first.
As far as country bumpkins go aren't we just the best
Tamara
http://smallfarm.about.com small farms give big benefits
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| Miss Bee Haven |
Posted - Apr 21 2008 : 11:36:35 AM
Jo - My dh used to work in animal control for the city of Louisville. When they mentioned the street name, he knew exactly where it was because he had done many, many runs in that area for dogs running loose, dog bites, etc. And the name of the area comes up on the news occasionally, too. So then we did look it up online and were horrified to see the stats.
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
| Hideaway Farmgirl |
Posted - Apr 21 2008 : 11:32:45 AM
Tough one, Janice.
How did you obtain the negative information? Were they the ones to tell you the figures you quoted about the neighborhood they picked? If so, then they obviously are willing to overlook the data and won't appreciate your comments. However, if it is information you found out yourself after they told you about the bid being accepted, how do you tell them what you've learned without making it look like you are second-guessing them?
I don't have any idea how you broach this without hurting someone's feelings. Are you comfortable talking to your ds privately about this, saying "I know it's none of my business but..." and then, knowing that having had your say, you will have to respect their decision if they move forward with the purchase.
Good luck!
Jo
"Wish I had time to work with herbs all day!" |
