| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Jan 06 2008 : 2:22:46 PM
Ok, so I got blind sided this weekend with a call from my Mom. This might get long, so please grab a coffee and possibly some tissues... 
As some of you might know, or not, I don't exactly get along with my immediate blood relatives (Mom, Dad, Sis) because of major difference of opinions and lifestyles. Well, my Mom threw a lot of stuff at me on the phone, a lot about my past and how I am living my life now. You must understand, ANYTHING out of the norm for them is considered so dramatic and extreme and wrong. You must also know, since I was 16, they have never supported me in anything I do nor ever come to anything important in my life, major events like wedding, birth of my son, military service (bootcamp and 2 deployments) etc...and you must also know I have gone out of my way to help them out so many times, busting my butt to help them and getting nothing back. We are talking major issues in their lives that all got pushed on my shoulders (ie: sis and brother were not around to help) but that seems to all be forgotten.
I was always a good kid and even better adult. I have never been in trouble (other than maybe talking all night with my sis when we were little), never did drugs, smoke, drink some but nothing excessive(I like my beer and my fruity drinks and I didn't start until I was legal), I have been told by other parents they wish they had me as their kid. I never even needed a curfew because you could always find me tucked in bed by 9 with all my critters. I read books, hiked, swam, did puzzles and crafts and loved just being home. So to get to the point....
My Mom started off by basically calling me a..excuse the term..a whore. I hate that term but these are her words. She said it all started when I got my first boyfriend at 18 and starting "rebelling" as she calls it. She went through my purse one night while I was sleeping and found pills and a card to Planned Parenthood. The "pills" were baby aspirin and the reason I had been taking so many was because I was having bad periods and my Mom never had medicine in the house, so I bought some and put them in a film canister, because she would have flipped out if she knew I had them. She was very strange about things like this. I even downed 3 right in front of her to prove they were not birth control. And yes, I had gone to PP for help with my bad periods. Again, my parents refused to take me to the doctor and when I turned 18 and had a job, I was starting to take care of myself. She has since then thought I just sleep around with everyone.
They hate how I dress. Now, I am a good cross between a beach babe, cowgirl/rocker girl with my touch of farmgirl (is there such a thing??) I like tank tops and cowgirl boots, tight jeans and make up and big hair. I like to feel sexy about myself and for my husband. I work out hard to get my body to be healthy and tough and I admit, I like to show it off, but not in any sleezy way. To them, I dress like a hooker and they let me know whenever I was around them. For my sis's wedding rehearsal, which was in the middle of a very sticky heat wave in CT, I put on jeans with a t-shirt and flip flops. She thought I was being dis-respectful. It was all I had with me since I had flown OVERNIGHT from California to be there. She made me sit in the back of the church until it came to my part to participate. 
She calls me irresponsible, immature, stupid, silly and I have no grip on reality. She treats me like I am the one who never left home and went out into the real world instead of staying in the small, conservative, prejudice town I grew up in. I have been around the world twice and lived in 6 different states now. My friends are diverse and I have had so many wonderful memories. She thinks we spend too much money and that I should be home with my son, period. Not persuing college, taking him on road trips and dare not consider working. Barefoot and pregnant is the best I can describe it.
She hates the fact the I don't clean my house and that is it decorated in whatever ( the more beat up and worn something is in my house, the more I like it), she commented the whole time how much dog fur was everywhere, how can we even consider packing up when we want and leave and hit the road without thinking. She yelled at me when I feed my son a huge bowl of cut up fruit for lunch (which he devoured) and now I am doing a high raw eating plan for myself and she thinks I am killing myself and my family by eating this way. Yeah- since when are fruits and vegetables the enemy?? She detests that we don't keep to a schedule in our life and we are very much "gypsies".
I watch football (professional and college), the PBR, I love watching my Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and I love my country music. DH even got me a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders picture for Christmas and my DS kisses "his girlfriends" every night and it is very innocent and sweet. They think I am setting a bad example for my son...
Her latest rant is that when DH finishes his time in the military in 13 months, we are selling most of what we can and moving to Texas for good, probably down towards Corpus Christi. We have several cute beach houses we are looking at and we can spend time outdoors, biking, hiking, swimming, and just living our dream life. I want to grow a little garden and have porches for lounging and some hanging hammocks.She thinks it is stupid and dangerous (ie: hurricanes???), that we will never make any money and what are we doing to our son?!?.
I guess my whole point of this rant is my family really hates me and I just want them out of my life. Honestly, I haven't seen them in over 2 years now and as far as I am concerned, they are just people. They really mean nothing to me. I have tried, tried, tried to right things and be the bigger person and I am just tired of all of it. I am sick of people telling me to pray about it, or just accept it as they are my only family. You have got to understand, they are never here for me, ever. They don't know me and I just want them gone out of my life. They know nothing about who I am, what my interests are, where I have been, my friends, nothing. I am so frustrated because this is one area of my life I can't seem to close the chapter on. I am sad, angry, tired and I know this is shortening my health and heart life living like this. I was balling my eyes out all afternoon and by the time DH got home, I was having a panic attack so bad, I had to go out and sit on the cement step and just try to breathe. I then had a crushing migraine for the whole next day. I am not one to "go off" on people because I don't think that is the way to conduct one's self but I don't know what to do. If I tell them like it is, it just adds fuel to the fire. We were thinking of just giving them the house phone and DH intercepting the calls but I really just want to cut ties.
I am so sad...
Heather
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| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| one_dog_per_acre |
Posted - Sep 01 2008 : 9:34:08 PM
I always read your family problem posts, and have not commented. But I knew this would happen sooner or later. About four years ago, I just gave up on my Dad. It was really a hard thing to do, but it is even harder to keep someone toxic close enough to hurt you. Be proud of what you have with your DH and Charlie. Isn't going to be great how Charlie will not have all of the dysfunction that you, and I grew up with? I am really proud of what I have too :)
Trish
Farmgirl Sister #91
Make cupcakes not war!
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| kissmekate |
Posted - Sep 01 2008 : 9:24:23 PM
Heather, it is truly their loss! It is truly them and not you. They should be proud of you and your family.
My ex rarely spends time with our daughter. Usually the only time he shows up for a visit is during the holidays for the dog and pony show routine. I have NEVER bad mouthed him or vented any frustration to/in front of my daugther, but she has long since figured him out.
I did tell him once that all of the things he misses and visits he blows off are his loss, and someday he will regret it. Of course it fell on deaf ears.
He is always too busy and has an excuse.
Don't miss out on a blessing, just because it isn't packaged the way you expected. ~MaryJo Copeland |
| dutchy |
Posted - Aug 31 2008 : 12:17:59 AM
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
(Only Elvis is a black kitten :) )
http://princess-of-pink-creations.blogspot.com/
my new BLOG
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| catscharm74 |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 11:55:29 PM
Thanks I feel so European now..A Netherlands hug!! OH LA LA!!!
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
| dutchy |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 11:52:21 PM
Just read this now. And just wanna give y'all ONE big hug!!
I come from a dis-functional family, mom and our father divorced when I was 6 weeks old. MANY many many things happened, not gonna go into it, but just know I know what you're all feeling!!
Great big hugs from overseas.
Love y'all.
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
(Only Elvis is a black kitten :) )
http://princess-of-pink-creations.blogspot.com/
my new BLOG
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| catscharm74 |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 11:25:15 PM
I am very happy with the way I have lived my life and I believe we get back what we put out. My mother lives with a very false front, always pretending to be happy when she is truly miserable. I think that energy comes back to her.
I found out we were invited, they just never went. It was always too much of a hassle, too far, too expensive, too hot, too cold, too Sunday, too Thursday, to April...etc....always an excuse.
They were actually thinking of coming here in October. I was like "Ok" then 1 week later, like clockwork, they backed out saying the usual "Something has come up." Yep...that is what set me off this time around. Honestly, if they hate me or just can't agree with me, they can make an effort for a very cute and smart 2 year old little boy who doesn't even know they exist. But as I say, their choice.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
| shepherdgirl |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 11:00:20 PM
"Misery loves company", that's for SURE! The sad thing is they probably never realized WHY no one ever invited them anywhere. I have family like that. My Aunt (mother's sister) is one of the most MISERABLE people I have ever known. But, she's just like my GRANDMA, and my SISTER is just like them BOTH! Although, she's getting a bit better. When she makes a comment about herself like -- "gee I was such a B^&*% when I was younger" I just pat her on the shoulder and whisper "You know, admitting it ALOUD is the first step to recovery" We have a good laugh now, but she really IS starting see that she was the cause of all of her own misery. Like I tell my siblings and friends, "We can CHOOSE to be miserable, or we can CHOOSE to be happy, no one else can make that choice for us." I think it's finally sinking in. I chose to be happy DESPITE my miserable childhood and all the baggage that followed me into adulthood. I also tell my sister "You can either pack that baggage on the train WITH you, or you can leave it at the station-- it's YOUR choice" I think she's FINALLY starting to get what I mean.
Sounds like you've chosen to leave it at the station Heather. That's a good thing. Obviously your mother has chosen to set HERSELF aside for your father. That's enough to make ANYBODY miserable. To lose your own identity so completely...... sigh..... I refuse to even consider it. Still, it makes me sad to see such miserable people, but what can you do? I suppose you can still LOVE them, even if you never speak to them again. At least YOU can look back on your life and say "DAMN! I sure lived a GOOD one!!" No regrets and full of adventure! Yee-Haw Cowgirl!!! ~~~ Tracy
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. ~~ George Carlin |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 10:35:08 PM
My Mom married at 18 and has never fullfilled anything in her life. She has basically been a slave to my dad since then. She is 64 and that is not old but she has never stood up for herself. She is all talk and no action. She is a nervous wreck to boot, smoking a pack a day and making a big deal over the smallest things. My dad is a miserable person to begin with and she says she tells him off but she doesn't because in the end, she always agrees with him. They are NEVER happy with anything and can find misery in the greatest of situations. I realized a few years ago we didn't go anywhere when we were little because of lack of money or not being invited, my parents didn't want to make the effort. I really look at them and see no joy in their lives. I think us kids were a burden to my dad and my mom never knew otherwise, since she was a SAHM 99% of her whole life. That can be full filling but not in the way I think she did it.
My door is always open but I am not going to put up with even a monthly phone call until there is an apology. I am done. I have given enough of my life (literally the past 16 years) of me trying to fix things. I have given them at least 20 opportunities to show up and support me, practically begging and pleading with them. It's their turn now.
Thanks for the encouragement. I do appreciate it. (((HUGS)))
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
| shepherdgirl |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 10:24:37 PM
I did not read everyone's response here, so I apologize if I repeat anything that's already been said, but I had to respond this.
Oh Heather, my heart cries out for you and the pain you are dealing with when it comes to your family. My suspicion is this--- that your mother sees HERSELF in you-- or someone she once WAS, or WISHED to be, and that's why she's so critical of you. I bet she had big dreams as a young girl and someone came along and treated HER the same way she's treated YOU all these years. What do you know about HER upbringing? I bet if you talked to others who knew her growing up it will be like hearing all about YOUR life as YOU have lived it. But then again, she could just be an EXTREMELY jealous, critical, MISERABLE HUMAN BEING who has decided that somehow YOU are the cause of all her misery. It's STILL no excuse for her treatment of you and I couldn't blame you for wanting her OUT of your life!!!
It's very easy to judge how others are living when your on the outside looking in. Someone who's never had to deal with a situation like yours will have all kinds of opinions and "advice," but they really haven't got a clue. Just remember this Heather-- No one can live YOUR life better than YOU-- so live it the way YOU see fit and don't fret about your family. I know it hurts to close that door, but there's no reason to let them keep making you miserable. But I will say this, if there is ever an opportunity to patch things up, don't pass it up. Both of my parents are gone now (mom at 47, dad at 54) and I am SOOO GLAD that I didn't turn my back on them when they tried to make amends for my "upbringing." (or lack there of!) I made a promise to myself years ago, when I was 12, that when I grew up I would live my life in my own way, REGARDLESS of what others thought, and that I would never look back in my twilight years with any regrets. If I had not accepted those pleas of forgivness from my parents when I did, it would have been too late, and that last promise to myself would have been in vain. I'm not sorry I did it. The oppotunity might NOT ever present itself, but consider it seriously if it does. You'll know what to do.
For now, just focus on your family and the life you are living. Like some of the other ladies have said-- others can only hurt you with YOUR permission-- so don't give them permission!!! Hang in there girl and know that we all care for you and wish you the best. Sending you a tight hug, a box of tissues and a big "YOU GO GIRL!!!!" from California. ~~~ Been there too and know how it feels ~~~ Tracy
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. ~~ George Carlin |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 1:45:10 PM
Thanks Jamie...when I saw the post again I was like "Uh oh..what did I type this time.." HA!! Thanks for reminding me how far I have come. (((HUGS)))
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
| simplyflowers |
Posted - Aug 30 2008 : 12:46:50 PM
Oh Heather.......I just now have read this post....I know it's been a while since you wrote this, and I know about the issue the other day. And I just have to say...Be strong, I don't even have to say this though...I KNOW YOU ARE!
Cousin from VA,
Jamie :)
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." -- Thomas Edison |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Jan 14 2008 : 11:06:24 AM
Thank Lynn!! A very promising and uplifting post. I am Me and that is all I can do..and though there are times I wished I had family so my son could have grandparents and yes, so DH and I could get a break once in awhile (DS is almost 2 and besides daycare, that he just started, never has been babysat). But this is the life I was given...
Better get to living it!!!
Cheers,
Heather |
| greyghost |
Posted - Jan 14 2008 : 10:45:35 AM
Gee, Heather, my family isn't *quite* as nuts as yours but they sure are close! Close enough you sure hit a chord with me.
I still interact with my family, but it is so hurtful every time. It takes me a few weeks to rebound and find myself again. I can't visit them without DH along... last time I did that I spent the night crying in the guest room, and left before dawn.
I had to realize, I am ME. I am not the housewife, ballet dancer, pianist and social bombshell my mother wanted me to be. I am not the boy either, though I sure fulfilled a lot of those duties until my brother, the "prize" who can do no wrong, was old enough. I had to learn that what my parents think of me does not matter. That I sit on the opposite side of the political spectrum, that I prefer my dogs to having kids and perpetuating the abuse, both verbal and physical, that has plagued my mother's side of the family from mother to daughter for a very long time. It does not matter that my dad told DH that my business "would never support us" and that DH would have to make that money, not me. It does not matter that my mother tries to cover her shortcomings by blaming me in front of family. In the end, the rest of the family knows who she is.
I am me. Independent, self-motivated, professionally self-employed (haha), a Democrat (oh the horror), a tree-hugger who walks everywhere I can (why? there's plenty of oil!), a vegan ("where do you get your protein?"), a doggie mommy (if you had kids, we would visit more) and a dedicated gardener (so ladylike).
By the way, my business pays the bills. DH's money pays for extras.
You are YOU. Doesn't matter what they think. I was so hurt by Dad's lack of confidence in me, it took forever to move past that one comment. I finally realized the golden truth: What my Dad, and my Mom, think of me DOES NOT MATTER. I let it go, and have been at peace with it. Good luck! |
| La Patite Ferme |
Posted - Jan 13 2008 : 7:27:40 PM
Sorry Debi, not ignoring you, just haven't been on line in a few days. It must be a So Cal thing. A good friend of mine says our mothers must be clones. Her's is nuts too. Can I run away to your neck of the woods? |
| mima |
Posted - Jan 10 2008 : 08:50:57 AM
Hey Jen!! Maybe its a crazy mom in L.A. thing????Your mom sounds just as nuts as mine! Do you think its too much smog???LOL! Hugs!
"No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars,or sailed to an uncharted land or opened a new heaven to the human spirit." Helen Keller |
| La Patite Ferme |
Posted - Jan 09 2008 : 9:33:14 PM
Bravo for you gurlfriend. Sounds like you have made a good start. Just keep thinking about Auntie, the cabin and moving toward her blissfully rewarding life. That will be very honoring to her and satisfying to you.
I had a similar situation over the past few years. I'm not sure if its worse for us single moms. Like we're children and can't take care of ourselves. When my mom would started in on me I would tell her I didn't want to talk about that and politely asked her to change the subject. When she wouldn't I hung up on her. She would then call back screaming at me. I would explain again that I was not interested in being preached to, told how I'm doing things wrong and how I should do things her way and if she could only critisize and yell I was not going to talk with her. She usually told me she was my mother and I had to listen to her. NOT. When she started in I would hang up again. This went on for several months. My dad and brother called to rip me about how I was treating mom. I would politely tell them I was a grown woman, gainfully employed, raising a daughter on my own, and living my life the way I wanted to. I was NOT required to sit there and listen to this crap just because she was my mother and if mom couldn't talk to me with respect she couldn't talk to me at all. Period!
Several more months went by with her yelling, me hanging up and dad and bro calling to mend fences. Finally, I just stopped answering the phone. Then they called sis to find out about me. Since sis knew about all this she was able to tell mom if you didn't preach and tell her what to do and all she would talk to you. Finally sis had to tell mom to stop calling because sis was busy working.
Well, dad finally told her flat out what the problem was -HER! She went into a crying jag for days (maniuplation tactic), but I still don't talk to her for a long time.
DD and I just did what we want, when we want and how we want. AAAHHH peace at last.
Mom has called a few times to invite us to lunch or dinner and she's been very reserved. We've only gone once. Maybe our absence has hit a cord and now she'll think twice before she speaks.
Stay tough Heather. You'll survive and be the happy for it. |
| Ronna |
Posted - Jan 07 2008 : 8:05:32 PM
Heather...me thinks you need to do what I have done with my sister....Divorce her. If I don't allow her in my life, she can't cause me pain.
I've had phone calls and emails from all over the USA, and some overseas, asking if we're okay after the big flood on Saturday. Not one word from my sister..just what I expected, so I wasn't upset.
Live your live as you and your husband and child choose and don't allow anyone else to intrude. Do you think your mother really forgot to tell you about your aunt dying? No, she knew it would be upsetting because it was someone you loved and just another form of her mental cruelty.
So many have been through the same horrible ordeals with family, it's sad but true.
Isn't it nice to be able to vent your anger and frustrations? and so good for you, too, to help you to heal.
Hugs from Ronna |
| Tina Michelle |
Posted - Jan 07 2008 : 7:25:39 PM
Erica, I hope things get better for you.
Heather..the same wish for you. I hope that through all of this you gals can see just how special you are.
Follow your heart and your dreams and don't let anyone tell you that you aren't terrific..because you are!
~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~
visit me at:
http://gardengoose.blogspot.com/
and at www.stliving.net
you can also check out my etsy shops at:http://GardenGooseGifts.etsy.com |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Jan 07 2008 : 7:22:39 PM
Hugs right back to you Erica!! I hope your week goes better...
Thanks to all!! I find it so touching how women can come together and uplift a soul!! Thank you.
Cheers,
Heather |
| AFMom |
Posted - Jan 07 2008 : 7:03:35 PM
Hi Heather,
Your last post was so uplifting..I like what you said at the end, about reclaiming the woman you used to be-the one your husband fell in love with...AMEN!
I on the other hand had the most stressful, horrible day with my Mom yet...and at this point I just can't go into it..but she is 74 and I am the one who feels like I am dying inside. So, I hear you about finding yourself and being the woman you used to be....I want that so bad for myself and my family. You give me hope girl! Hugs to you, Erica |
| CountryBorn |
Posted - Jan 07 2008 : 6:22:54 PM
Heather,
I am glad to hear that you and your husband had such a good talk. To me it sounds like you know exactly what you want your life to be. Honey, there are some people in this world you will never please,some who will never approve of the way you want to live your life,some who will hurt you every chance they get. No matter who they are, for your own sanity and self preservation and true happiness you have to walk away from them and never look back. They are toxic, in the sense they eat away at your spirit,your sense of identity, your self confidence. A wonderful Dr. once told me if someone or something causes you to become stressed and unhappy stay away from it or them no matter what.I was also told just because people are your family and you love them, doesn't make them or what they do or say right. You are a beautiful unique spirit, free and adventuresome and loving. Guess what, that is who God made you to be. You do your yourself and your husband and son the honor of being who you are and living as you wish. You only get one life and it is yours to live no one elses. Do not waste any of your precious life on trying to please the unpleaseable, this is their problem, not yours. Don't let what they think and say ruin your life. Some may think what I have said is harsh,but I have lived some very bad situations and learned a lot, sometimes there is no other way but to cut loose and be free and follow your heart..
Mary Jane
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Jan 07 2008 : 2:05:15 PM
Ok, I've got a minute or more to post...I have been deep cleaning the apartment today. I do it 2 times a year- January and June.
Thank you all so much for all the wonderful insight and hugs. It is really helpful just to get things off my mind. DH and I sat down and had a long talk about what WE want and how we are going to get there. We just decided to avoid my mother's calls as long as we can until she seems like it is urgent and just have DH call back and say we are super busy and we can't talk. I figure that buys us about 3 weeks at a time. We looked at what are dreams truly are and as mentioned, it is a little beach house in Texas, where I can still have a little garden and land to putter on, simple house with not much too it so we can spend time outdoors with our son and going to all the dives for great food and having monthly get togethers for our "family of friends" (and yes, you are ALL invited!!!) : )
DH reminded me of something I said to him when I first met him. That I wanted a simple life, I didn't want to be the typical "housewife" and I love adventure and being happy. He has noticed how unhappy I have become and that I have been ruthlessly cleaning and organizing (like daily for me, which is not normal, the above Jan-June thing is)and not doing the things I love, especially taking that time to take care of myself and I have become grouchy to be around. All of this I know and somehow, I am going to get myself back. It all starts with cleaning out the "stuf" around here. I am not a housekeeper and the less I have, the happier I am. Next, I have started walking again- long walks- in the cold, rain, sun, heat, whatever- I love them and they energize me and get my behind in shape.
I am also working on a yo-yo quilt made from my son's clothes I kept as he grows out of them. The tedious hand work and the love behind the pieces of fabric are so comforting to me.
There is another major thing that happened this past October that really hit me hard. My Aunt passed away suddenly. It was truly unexpected. Well, MOM forgot to tell me and I didn't find out until a phone conversation in which she mentioned my Uncle was sad about losing Aunt Emily...yep found out 2 MONTHS after it happened. Well, this was the first time in my adult life that I really mourned someone in my family passing away. She was always nice to me and she was always looking for the next party. She loved her lake cabin and she would stay there from first thaw to first snow. I spent many summers there- then it hit me that is where I get my love of the "beach" from- hot summer, swimming, eating bbq, wearing flip flops and messy, swimming hair, eating ice cream to cool off, sleeping under cotton sheets with a breeze blowing in the big, screened windows overlooking the lake, I remember how we loved to make Lipton Ice tea together. GOSH!! She really loved her life and lived every minute of it and she invited me into it. So, for her and myself, it is time to get to living and pursuing my dreams.
I must move on and I will and I thank you all for listening. Sometimes, a farmgirl just needs a kind ear and you have all provided me with that. I have the best little family a gal could wish for an I am so happy with them!! Time to find Heather again...that girl DH fell in love with and that woman I know I am...and miss!! : )
Cheers,
Heather |
| junkjunkie |
Posted - Jan 07 2008 : 11:21:18 AM
Well put, Chandra....so, so true!
"To have life in focus, we must have death in our field of vision." Benedictine monk John Main |
| kissmekate |
Posted - Jan 07 2008 : 10:39:43 AM
Heather, I am so sorry your family is like this. I have great parents that tend to be a tad on the controlling side. When they start to get that way, I take a breather from them.
But they have figured out to respect my space.
I wish you family would give you the respect you deserve.
If it were me, I wouldn't sever all ties, but I would definitely have minimal contact with them. As my Mom says about her crazy sister, she "isn't worth wasting brain cells over." Your family isn't worth the anxiety, hon.
Don't let them manipulate you. If you and your husband and son are happy with your life, who gives a rat's arse what they think. It is easy for me to say that from the outside, but I tend to be this way myself.
You provide your son with food, keep him warm and sheltered, provide an education, clothing and most of all, love. That is all that matters.
Besides, you have all us farmgirls to be your family.
*hug*
Don't miss out on a blessing, just because it isn't packaged the way you expected. ~MaryJo Copeland |
| nashbabe |
Posted - Jan 07 2008 : 10:21:56 AM
Some of these situations sound like a possible situation of Borderline Personality Disorder. Might want to check out this website in case it is helpful...
http://www.bpdcentral.com
Crunchy crafty goodness and psychoses...;-)http://nashbabe.blogspot.com
groovy stuff 2 buy...http://www.alittlesplurge.etsy.com |
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