| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Peanut |
Posted - Nov 06 2007 : 5:51:26 PM
I know I can't be the only one whose family has squabbles over the division of tasks.
My step-MIL has been keeping the books since she married my FIL 10 years ago. Despite my husband's late mother using a computer, S-MIL insists on doing everything by hand in an old-fashioned ledger book. Now, there's nothing wrong with old-fashioned but it's very tedious and she's made several big mistakes, plus the farm software now is just so easy. She also uses the labor-intensiveness of the task to make herself into a martyr. Early this year she became fed up and claimed that this would be her last year keeping books. Months later... and no more mention of this. My husband insists he's going to hold her to her word and wants me to keep the books - he hates dealing with her.
How do y'all handle sensitive matters like this? It's really time to upgrade the business side of the farm.
"What is a farm but a mute gospel?"
Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| 4 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| goneriding |
Posted - Nov 11 2007 : 06:16:55 AM
Maybe once you 'introduce' her to the new-fangled way she will get into the spirit of things. As an example, I've been afraid of some of the computer stuff but now that I 'understand' my laptop, I'm almost an electronics junkie! So maybe she is over-awed at the new way and doesn't realize how easy it would make her job...but then again, she may feel 'needed' doing it the old way but I'd still say it's worth a shot.
Winona ;-)
Don't sweat the small stuff...
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| Alee |
Posted - Nov 09 2007 : 6:14:14 PM
What about saying something like "Oh So-and-So, we really appreciate all the work you have put into the books these past years. It seems to take so much of your time though and we would love to help out. Can you teach me your system so we can help?" then once they feel comfortable that their "system" is safe and they turn the books over- you can update.
Or "We really value your time and realize it isn't fair to monopolize all your free time doing the books. You mentioned that you didn't want to do them any more and we want to respect you decision. So we are going to take over them for you, do you want to show us anything that is special or tricky about the books?"
I think the big thing is to avoid making her feel like she is being pushed out the door or is unappreciated.
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for typing, one hand to hold Nora!
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| Peanut |
Posted - Nov 09 2007 : 11:28:11 AM
Thanks, Toni.
My S-MIL doesn't use a computer but there are local classes offered, so that's a really good idea.
I think my FIL would rather things be computerized, but he's 76 and never used a computer (my husband's mother did though) so he has no idea how easy it can be.
We'll see what happens when the end of the year gets here...
"What is a farm but a mute gospel?"
Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| lovelady |
Posted - Nov 09 2007 : 11:20:09 AM
Oh Jennifer,
We are in a very similar situation, except we are lucky enough that they aren't family. Last year, my husband and I entered into an agreement where we would start taking over the farming operations of one of our neighbors. My husband worked for this man in high school and has lived by them since he was 9 ( We are in our mid-twenties), so while not technically family, he is pretty darn close. This man has a very successful seed business as well which involves a lot of bookkeeping and this guys wife has always kept their books. In books. Pencil and paper. They have a computer, but she thinks it is evil, and that "people" will take all their personal and business information if the internet is hooked up to it. Well, they have gotten the internet and we have tried showing them several ways of doing their invoicing, billing, etc. on the computer. The man loves it, but the wife will not accept it. Right now, nearly everything is done twice. Once when my husband or I do it on the computer, then again when the woman does it in the books because she doesn't think we have done it right. Three out of the four of us think it is time that my husband and I take over the books, but the fourth person is so hard headed that nothing has been done yet.
It is terrible, but alot of the time, her efforts at bookkeeping are in vain because we have already done the work and turned in what was done before she gets around to doing it. But we must let her feel like she is the one getting everything done. We really want to encourage her to let us take over this burden so that she has more time for things she enjoys..gardening, grandkids, travel,etc. But she just doesn't think anyone else is capable of it.
Does your S-MIL use the computer for anything? Maybe a computer class for older people would take away some of her hesitancy. Or encouraging her to use her time for more enjoyable things and give you the burden of the books. Does your FIL have an opinion on the matter? He is probably the only one that can influence her to change.
I wish I had some wisdom to share with you, but I need all the help I can get on this matter, too. Let me know how it goes. Just wanted to let you know you weren't alone on this. :) Good luck!
Toni |
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