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TheSoapMaven Posted - May 03 2007 : 07:26:27 AM
Yep...feeling pretty darn sorry for myself. I know, I had months and months to get use to the fact that Husband was going to be 6000 miles away from me and the children for extended periods of time. Nonetheless, I was not prepared. Not like I had assured myself (and him) and hoped to be.

After speaking to him very briefly on Sunday, I havent heard his voice since. It makes my tummy hurt to think of him. Does this sound like a woman who has been married to the same man for almost 30 years? There has actually been weeping. I know he is so so busy and trying to get settled and lined out with work. And I know as always he will call when he can. Soon would be good.

I have tons of fabric lined out. I have aprons to make. I cannot bring myself to get started on anything. I have so much that I had planned on doing while he was away but the motivation is not there. I am sure I will pull myself out of my funk and get rolling soon. I know he misses me no less than I do him. And this separation is no easier on him than me…in fact harder if anything. After all, he is the one not at home. No comforts of home. No familiarity. A strange and developing country. Which is code for scary and primitive. I suppose some of my whining and crying is on his behalf as well. I am making no less of his trials, just trying to get the most out of my own.

I don’t remember being this sad ever. Not even when someone I love died. I thought I was sad when we lived out in West Texas and I felt so homesick I would find myself crying in the grocery. That was nothing. I know this too will pass. Soon the phone will ring and on the other end of the line will be Husband and we will discuss who loves whom more and who misses whom more. And we will both be wrong…and right. He will tell me briefly of his new adventures. Then on May 17th at 10 pm (G-d willing) he will walk thru the gate at the airport and we will have 3 glorious weeks together. Next trip will be easier. At least I am going to tell myself that.

Susan
http://www.thesoapmaven.com
http://notquitejunecleaver.com
21   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
TheSoapMaven Posted - May 03 2007 : 8:29:33 PM
Why Sandy, that is a GREAT idea! I think I will do just that! Thank you. And thank you Tina & Kathie. Kim that is an awfully cute baboon. I will be so happy when they name him.

Susan
http://www.thesoapmaven.com
http://notquitejunecleaver.com
ponyexpress Posted - May 03 2007 : 8:24:55 PM
Here's an idea, Susan. Awhile back somebody posted about taking a picture a day...why don't you take a picture a day for each day hubby is gone, maybe even the progress on the garden as the plants grow. Keep a journal of everyday activities to go along with the pictures and when he comes home, he'll have a memory and a record of what happened while he was away.

You'll feel like your "talking" with him everyday, and he will love being able to share in the events - even plain, ol everyday stuff.

I've learned that it takes as much time and energy to wish as it does to plan.

Tina Michelle Posted - May 03 2007 : 8:15:18 PM
hugs to you Susan.

~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~
Kim Posted - May 03 2007 : 4:25:48 PM
ROFL! I love the Baboon! That is sooo cute! I want one!!! Ans Susan, That was just the end of us being apart. He was my high school sweetheart. After we starting talking on the phone, he was in Phoenix at the time, it wasn't until Christmas I saw him, then not again until January, then he FINALLY moved here in February. Then the stint for 3 months in the summer and now he's here to stay. Finally!

Blessed Be!

farmgirl@heart

"Go confidently in the directions of your dreams; live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler." - Henry David Thoreau

http://chevy49girl.livejournal.com/
http://midwestmusings-kim.blogspot.com/
http://chevy49girl.deviantart.com/
Kathie Posted - May 03 2007 : 1:20:44 PM
Poor Pumpkin!
I'm so sorry Susan..
It really is hard being seperated.. & no matter what you do to keep yourself busy.. That empty feeling just seems to always be there.. doesn't it? My Husband used to have to work out of state too..& it was always a rough transition.. there were things that I looked foreward to while he was gone.. funny things.. like going to the livestalk auction.. which he hated doing.. so when he returned home.. ther'd always be new additions to the farm.. that was always something we had to talk about when he was away.. & when he would be getting ready to leave & packing he would tell me i was on a 4 head limit to what ever i was going to buy.. or something funny like that
.. It was an on going joke.. the kids & I would be waiting around in the living room for him to leave each time teasing him that he was cramping our sale time!! but after he was gone about 3 gays.. it nearly likked me everytime!!.. & this went on for nearly two years.. I don't know how we do it sweetie.. but we do..
It really is tough..
& Everything seems to trigger missing him all over again.. doesn't it??
Hope you get to talk to him soon..
I'll be thinking about you..

Kathie

In a World Where you Can Be Anything, Be Yourself..
TheSoapMaven Posted - May 03 2007 : 1:02:47 PM
WOW...Mikki dont I feel horrible for even saying anything at all - 13 months!!! And Kim...three months...this is only for a month at the time. Oh my thank you, thank you, for putting things in perspective for me. I owe you both one! Hush my mouth and get with the program! Think I will finish my cleaning and sew tomorrow. AND I have to share this with you. My oldest daughter crochets and knits like a mad woman. Here is a Baboon she made for Hannah and Rachel. There is a little story about how it came to be under it. The story wont seem funny if you cant see them act it out...but it cheered me up like you wouldnt believe! That is one cute red behind!!!



This is what my daughter had to say about her project:

“What the heck is that?” you might being asking. To which the answer, of course, is “a baboon with a fanny pack.”

Sometimes it really is best just not to ask.

I got a call a week or so ago from my sister asking if I could possibly crochet a baboon…with a fanny pack. Apparently, she and my youngest sister were watching a show on the Discovery Channel or something about baboons that were terrorizing communities. People would open car doors to find themselves face to face with a baboon, tourists were having their fanny packs snatched by baboons looking for a snack (a Snicker perhaps), etc etc. This was the birth of yet another of my sisters’ “bits”, of course telling the story from the side of the baboons who were just trying to be friendly and who sound surprisingly similar to Cleveland Brown from Family Guy.

My family is made up of some very…interesting individuals. <3

Susan
http://www.thesoapmaven.com
http://notquitejunecleaver.com
Alee Posted - May 03 2007 : 12:54:19 PM
Susan-

I am so sorry that he has to be away for a while. It is really great that you get to go visit his garden though! I am so glad you are coming on here to chat with us. *hugs!*

Alee
Kim Posted - May 03 2007 : 12:49:32 PM
I know how you feel, when Frank was away for 3 months, it hurt. Physically hurt. But I do think it will get a little easier the next time around. You'll know more of what to expect.

Sending you great big bunches of((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))

Blessed Be!

farmgirl@heart

"Go confidently in the directions of your dreams; live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler." - Henry David Thoreau

http://chevy49girl.livejournal.com/
http://midwestmusings-kim.blogspot.com/
http://chevy49girl.deviantart.com/
Mikki Posted - May 03 2007 : 12:45:33 PM
Susan, Im so sorry. I know how you feel. My hubby had to go to Korea for 13 months. We spoke on the phone two times during that period of time. Back then with him in the military, we couldn't afford the phone calls. We would make cassette tapes talking to each other just so we could hear one anothers voices. I pray the Lord gives you strength and eases your pain.
~~Blessings, Mikki Jo

www.mikkijo.etsy.com



http://burningmeadowsprings.blogspot.com/
http://strawberriesnapronstrings.blogspot.com/
TheSoapMaven Posted - May 03 2007 : 12:00:07 PM
Just noticed I made 500 posts! WhooHoo! Well 501 now! I am feeling better. Living room hasnt been this clean in a long time. One room at a time. By the time he gets home he wont recognize the place.

Susan
http://www.thesoapmaven.com
http://notquitejunecleaver.com
Aunt George Posted - May 03 2007 : 11:10:19 AM
Cleaning is a good purging for the soul...as was said earlier, but also take your aprons one at a time. Put everything away and leave out only one, or make something that you love and the others will come. I too overwhelm myself with stacks, but when broken down into smaller pieces, it eventually gets done. About the missing your hubby, he is your splitapart and you don't feel like a whole person when he is gone. You actually feel like a hole person. So plug up that hole with hard work....you will feel better. It does work. I feel pretty holey right now myself....

Love and hugs,
Georgann

http://auntgeorgeshouse.blogspot.com/index.html
http://auntgeorge.wordpress.com/
My new apron's only blog!

Thanks for checking out my apron and sewing musings!
TheSoapMaven Posted - May 03 2007 : 11:02:14 AM
I just took a walk out to look over the garden and all Husband's hard work. Corn is peeking thru! He will be thrilled when he finds out. Our place looks so beautiful. He has quite the green thumb. Back to cleaning. You realize coming here is great therapy!

Susan
http://www.thesoapmaven.com
http://notquitejunecleaver.com
Beemoosie Posted - May 03 2007 : 10:53:33 AM
Susan, I thinks it's wonderful that after almost 30 years you miss your DH so! Not wonderful that you are so sad though. (((Hugs)))

My soul magnifies the Lord, And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior. Luke 1:46,47
www.beequilting.blogspot.com
http://beemoosie-picture-diary.blogspot.com/
Bluewrenn Posted - May 03 2007 : 09:50:46 AM
How about grabbing a bouquet of spring flowers at the grocery? No matter how sad or down I am feeling, a bright flower in a vase always cheers me up, even if I have to buy the flowers for myself!

My Homesteading Journal http://toomyvara.livejournal.com

My craft journal http://bluewrenn.livejournal.com

KYgurlsrbest Posted - May 03 2007 : 08:47:40 AM
Too True Susan! If you're like me, being away from home just makes it worse--I've wandered around Target like a zombie when I'm feeling the way you do. So I just stick to my little cottage and clean those blues away. I fix little things that I can fix (doorknobs), hang up a little hook for the brooms, etc...just "busy" work, and I forget all about it. I guess what I'm sayin' is make yourself so tired, that at night, when you lay your head down, you don't think of anything but how good that pillow feels!

Take good care of you!

"In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt." Margaret Atwood

TheSoapMaven Posted - May 03 2007 : 08:00:27 AM
OH Jonni...you read my mind...I posted about cleaning and there was your post!!! Great minds. Hugs back at you Beth.


Susan
http://www.thesoapmaven.com
http://notquitejunecleaver.com
KYgurlsrbest Posted - May 03 2007 : 07:58:33 AM
You describe it so well....and it will pass. I, too, wish you could get those aprons started. I tell you what else--CLEAN. I mean, clean out closets, clean out drawers, organize everything and then turn around and reorganize a different way. You'd be surprised at how cleansing that is (no pun intended)....A gorgeous utility closet always chases my blues away!

My husband can always tell when I've been lonely because the house is "unfamiliar" when he returns home--he can't find anything!!!



"In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt." Margaret Atwood

celebrate2727 Posted - May 03 2007 : 07:50:23 AM
Your wonderful Hubby feels your love no matter the miles. You are so very blessed with your beautiful family. Hugs those kidlets and grandbabe for they are there to get you through. I am sending you (((((HUGS)))) dear one.

blessings
beth

Dreaming of Friday Night Lights

http://blissnblossomfarm.etsy.com
http://bethsblissnblossomfarm.blogspot.com


www.firehousesoapcompany.com
TheSoapMaven Posted - May 03 2007 : 07:47:17 AM
Thank you farmgirls! I will get along. No choice! And most of the time my life is very easy...so I am spoiled...yep that's whats wrong with me!!! Just wanted to wallow a little - among friends.

Edited to add: Going to clean house today...that will make me feel better for sure! I hate it when it gets like it is!

Susan
http://www.thesoapmaven.com
http://notquitejunecleaver.com
Nancy Gartenman Posted - May 03 2007 : 07:36:27 AM
So sorry you are sad, I know you will get on just fine, I wish you could get your creative side in gear because I think that would be a really big help. But I bet you find yourself just kind of walking about really not wanting to do anything. I hope this feeling passes soon, just try hard to think of all the good things and I bet the good out numbers the bad.
NANCY JO

www.Nancy-Jo.blogspot.com
mima Posted - May 03 2007 : 07:35:34 AM
Oh! I'm sooo sorry! HUGS!!!!! Could you do something different today? Grab a Starbucks and peruse a thriftstore or something to get your mind off it? Again I'm sorry to hear your so sad, many hugs and love!

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