| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Debbie Apple |
Posted - Sep 09 2011 : 09:29:18 AM
Hi, I wondered if there are many women out there farming on their own. Maybe after the death of a spouse or a divorce, did you find yourself having to take over the farm alone?
That's what happened in my case and my two children and I were without a farm but loaded down with farm animals - 60 cows, 55 sheep, 300 chickens and 4 dogs and no land. I would love to talk with others who have been there, done that. I am also more than happy to give assistance to any who find themselves in that place now and need some advice.
Debbie Apple
River Cottage Farm
Hearthtoharvest.com
rivercottagefarm.net |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| mudpony farmgirl |
Posted - Jan 13 2012 : 12:19:37 PM
Good for all you gals going it alone!
I started out on my own after getting divorced (three days before closing on the farm, no less!)and it's certainly not easy! Lucky for me, an old friend who just so happens to be as farm crazy as I am recently wandered back into my life and onto my farm to help out :) |
| prayin granny |
Posted - Jan 12 2012 : 7:45:47 PM
I divorced many years ago and raised my 4 kids, now adults , on my own. I had an older home on 5 desert acres.
It is never easy but worth it if you are able.
After 20 yrs, some bad health and financial issues, and the home was in severe disrepair after an earthquake, storms etc. I lost it nearly a year ago.
It was hard and at times I still get saddened by it??!! However, I made a move to a city , and into an apt complex that I share with a daughter. I do some herb containers on the balcony--- it overlooks a huge tree and grass. I am doing knitting and crafts again and I am trying to be 'self sufficient' here as I can!!! Now when something breaks, or a roof leaks etc there are on site maintenance guys to come!
I miss my rural lifestyle. But I am learning to adjust and most days enjoy my new life.
Farmgirl is an attitude of the heart no matter our circumstances.
You go ladies!! Keep up the good work you are doing on your own!
Looking forward to checking into your blogs, I am sure they will bless and inspire!
Have a great nite everyone!
Blessings,
Linda
www.scatteredlittleblessings.blogspot.com
Country at Heart |
| medievalcat |
Posted - Dec 08 2011 : 9:24:03 PM
Hello Ladies.. Alanna I know our situations are similar but also different. I too look around the house everyday and see something that says "Brad". I've asked the girls if we can take down just a few of his pictures which they've agreed it was ok.
Some days it's really hard not to give in to my depression and I recently decided to seek the help of a therapist. I know when I can't fix a job on my own and I have no problems calling in the professionals when needed. I'm not saying that's the route everyone needs to take it just the one I decided to try. I have found keeping busy helps but there are still times of the day or night that you just can't keep busy. That's when friends are so important..but again there's times your friends are in bed and you don't want to intrude. That's when I cuddle with my cat and listen to music on headphones until the night wins and I sleep. My heart goes out to you Alanna and if there is anything I can do to help please do not hesitate to contact me.
I posted this on another thread so I won't go all into it here.. but learning how to be the "man" of the house has been rough. I won't say I'm the man of the house but I am the Farmgirl of the house. I had to replace the smoke pipes on my woodstove a couple of weeks ago. It was simply a nightmare. But after several days all the pipes have been replaced and a certified Chimney Sweeper is coming out tomorrow to sweep it. The stove still backdrafts a fair amount of smoke into the house and it made me really sick with my asthma. Keep your fingers crossed the problem gets fixed tomorrow!
I'm hoping to raise my own vegitables and chickens again. The chicken coup is still in good condition so I won't have to do much work on it before buying chicks. The garden is a mess and it will take many, many days to cultivate it. My aunt has a produce stand I hope she will let me sell my vegi's at. I also hope to grow a small orchard in my garden area.
Everything takes money and a lot more time than it took my husband. I think that is what frustrates me the most. That it took me two day to figure out how to put the pipe together where I know it would have taken him two minutes. He also would have already been up on the roof cleaning the chimney himself and not paying someone else to do it. I miss him everyday but I know I'm strong enough to go on..and it's because he taught me so much over the past ten years. I wish I had learned it a lot better than I did and perhaps I wouldn't cry nearly as much when I get frustrated. (Don't you just hate how we cry when we are angry or frustrated.. I get so angry at myself when i cry for something other than OUCH that hurt).
Good luck to all the ladies here! We are made from tough cloth.
Cyn |
| sherrye |
Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 07:05:21 AM
you ladies rock. papa was gone a bit to wyoming. it was very hard. i know if i was alone i would need to modify a lot. i remember kris saying she saw her man 55 days in a year. wow. you go kris. grace with all those sheep? wow how do you get the shearing done? all you newer gals my hat is off to you. my man is the best. even if he has no interest in my project he will help. i agree with how much time it takes. i have folks who come here and work for food and experience. i also go and help others here in the area. so happy days to you all and a fine farmgirl day ahead for you. sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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| oldbittyhen |
Posted - Nov 20 2011 : 3:36:16 PM
somewhere on the "across the fence" pages, is a thread for widows, alot of support and great stories, some of you gals might want to find it and check it out...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
| Annika |
Posted - Nov 20 2011 : 10:23:21 AM
Debbie, I love what you're doing and thank you so much for the thread that you've started. For some years now, Andrew and I have been of an understanding that we would eventually have a mini farm. Since I developed a very arthritic knee this past year, he has totally changed his mind. I love him with all of my heart, but he tends to over protect me. We live in a nice manufactured home on the farm of his friend right now and there is always something to do. Lately I've been trying to win back his faith in me that I'm not going to expire from a gimpy leg and rotten eyesight. I'm trying to make a point that I'll be able to deal with a mini Jersey and a bunch of chickens and ducks! I'll win because I'm a professional stubborn Irish Chick =P
But I'm scaling back on my plans a lot and being realistic about what I'll be able to deal with on my own. So, never give up on your dreams. Dreams just to be up dated as we go through life =)
Hugs!
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
http://thegimpyfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
http://pinterest.com/annikaloveshats/
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
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| sondrak |
Posted - Nov 20 2011 : 09:23:57 AM
Ladies/Farm Girls, your strength in the midst of adversity is amazing. Hang in there.
Debbie, congrats on finally having your own farm again. You sound very fortunate to have been able to find multiple pastures to keep your animals. Sometimes, it is harder finding pastures to rent than to buy.
Cyn and Alanna, I am so sorry for the loss of your husbands. You are both in my prayers.
Samantha, 55 acres sounds like you have lots of potential opportunites to make your dreams come true when the timing is right. I hope the chainsaw "class" was uneventful. As a single farm girl, I've decided that it is best for me to buy my firewood and support the hardworking individuals that cut it. I admire you.
You can take the girl out of Texas, but you can't take the Texas out of the girl.
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| sammyann |
Posted - Nov 17 2011 : 12:16:51 PM
Good afternoon All. Cyn and Alanna, I am sorry for your respective losses. I am glad to hear that you still are looking ahead. I am married but my husband does not want anything to do with farming. I have2 kids, a boy age 7 and a girl age 5. We currently have 2 dogs (a Bernise Mountain and a Black Lab), and 1 cat.
I had some chickens but was having issues with foxes and hawks, so I got rid of them. I am thinking in the spring to get some more and possibly add some geese/ducks. We live on 55 acres that has lot of woods which we cut for heat. No fence yet. I am not sure how to fence, but I would eventually like to get some sheep (for the wool), cows, maybe a horse or two. (for my kids of course). I love to garden and I also have a strawberry patch. I work a full time job on top of it all which someday I would like to get rid of it, to stay home and take care of my place.
I look forward to reading all of your adventures and ideas.
Wish me luck as on Saturday my husband is supposed to be teaching me how to cut wood with a chainsaw. :)
May you be Blessed through this season and every other! |
| Debbie Apple |
Posted - Nov 16 2011 : 9:38:47 PM
Hi Alanna and Cyn,
my heart goes out to both of you and I am so sorry for your loss. Alanna, my mom is alone and she cooks and freezes everything. She makes twice baked potatoes and freezes them with all the toppings. She makes pots of stews and soup and freezes them in small containers. She even makes up burritos with all the fixings and freezes them two at a time.
Cyn, there are plenty of wonderful programs out there to help you out in your situation. If you want to make some extra money from the farm you can contact your local FSA (Farm Services Agency) for some assistance. What are you hoping to do with your 5 acres?
I don't have internet on our farm so I have to come to the city to check this site.
Debbie
www.hearthtoharvest.com
www.rivercottagefarm.net
Wherever I am, the world comes after me.
It offers me its busyness. It does not believe that I do not want
it...
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| Alanna Neupert |
Posted - Nov 09 2011 : 08:39:55 AM
Dear Medieval Cat and All-Good morning from a farm here in SW.Pa.Well, I became a widow too, on August 23rd of this year. It's a lonely life and I so wish my husband would be here with me. It's so hard for me phycially to do things like I used to do. I lokk around and everything here reminds me of my husband. It's hard to getting used to living on half the income since my husband is gone. My kids luckily are just down the road and I'm lucky. It's no fun to cook just for yourself and I used to bake bread all the time for my hubby & me. Well, I did manage to can a bushel of peaches a week after he died, I can hardly believe that! Tooday I'm going to make some minestrone soup for myself and if I have extra, I'll freeze it. Also,some homemade cornbread to go with it. Are there any government programs to help anyone out in your state with utility bills? I know here in Pa. there is help with your gas bills asnd they will help winterize your home with plastic.Does anyone have any good ideas for healthy meals for small servings or soups or casseroles I can freeze? Thanks everyone-Alanna |
| medievalcat |
Posted - Oct 29 2011 : 10:05:05 PM
Hello Debbie and All,
I recently moved back to my small five acre farm in Arkansas after my husband passed away September 27, 2011. We had tried to sell it when we moved to La but things took a bad turn for us. I believe it was a blessing in disguise that my little farm did not sell. It's just my daughters and I now.. they are 15 and 11 years old.
When we lived here six months ago we had a garden tractor and chickens. I love raising chickens for eggs that I eat like crazy and I donate my extra, that I don't sell to a few people, to the local Freecycle Yahoo group who really need the food. I gave away my hens when we moved so in the spring I will be buying chicks and I hope to find some heritage breeds. I would like to also purchase a couple of llamas but I'm not really familiar with them.
Currently we have five dogs and several cats (the kitten Trinity loves to type with me and causes many typos).
The problems we are currently facing are many. My husband left a lot of debt and well there just isn't money right now for heat or to finish paying for his funeral (which means no death certificate).. thankfully the children schools are really helping us with the heat problem. There's a huge hole in my barn roof from a tornado that came close while I was gone, and someone stole our garden tractor/lawnmower so I can't cut the really tall grass in my yard.
I sit and take a deep breath when I feel so overwhelmed by it all and the tears from the grief and problems flow sometimes more than I mean for it too. My girls are the greatest and they often look at me when I'm about to cry and tell me, "Mom...if you cry I'll cry then we will all be crying and that's just going to make all of us look ugly..so mom.. no tears." I'm so blessed.
I hope by spring to be caught up on the bills and I'm borrowing a ladder next weekend to tarp the barn roof then hope to pay someone to cut the grass. Next week I have an appointment for food stamps (I've been on food stamps years ago and I never thought I would be in a position to need it now). And I have a part time job in Little Rock but it's at least an hour away. "
One problem at a time!" It's my motto. I welcome any and all advice!!
Hugs,
Cyn
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| blackfell_farmgirl |
Posted - Sep 20 2011 : 12:29:01 PM
Hello Debbie and all! @ Melina: I too have a husband that is really NOT enthusiastic about anything having to do with farming, but he is willing to let me try some Urban farming stuff in our yard. My main problem is not him, really, but my job! I am not physically well enough to work 40 and do anything else. It really sucks the life out of me. But my dreams are still alive and I am hopin that soon I can make some money with Yoga and Photography, not necessarily together. ..... Anyone up for Skype Yoga? I do skype sessions. :)
blackfell_farmgirl
HorseCrazy! |
| Debbie Apple |
Posted - Sep 19 2011 : 2:15:05 PM
Hello Ladies,
thanks so much for your notes and thanks for expanding my ideas of women farming "alone"! Grace and Katie I spent way too long on your blogs! I love what you are all are doing. I wish you were closer!
I agree that I just couldn't have it any other way. Sometimes, when things just get to be a bit too hard I go out into the pasture with the animals and I can't imagine being anywhere else but right there. I think of the words "right here, right now" and remember not to let this moment be stolen by pressures and stress.
My children and I were without our own home for about 2 and a half years but I had all the animals (my divorce settlement) and so we rented all the 10-15 acre pastures we could find and drove out of the city each morning to milk and feed the animals. The closest piece of land was 30 minutes away. When I look back I just don't know how we did it.
We finally have our own farm and are loving it! Unfortunately we don't have internet access so it might be a few days before I get back on.
Have a great day!
Debbie
www.hearthtoharvest.com
www.rivercottagefarm.net
Wherever I am, the world comes after me.
It offers me its busyness. It does not believe that I do not want
it...
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| KD Earthwork |
Posted - Sep 13 2011 : 09:35:23 AM
Hi Debbie and All,
Wow Debbie I love your blog, it's so well written and gives such great information. Congratulations on buying your new farm, right ? You are a productive women. Loved reading about you Farm Store and it's success.
I have a husband , but he's a 100% disabled Vietnam Vet. He loves working on equipment and new projects. He's done huge parts of our farm, but the vision, money getting , contracting, maintenance, housework and child raising has been mostly me. I still work outside as well to finance our farm. Then come home to farm. I have a couple woofers ( World Wide Organic Farm opportunities) as volunteers right now and most of this summer, this really helps. It's a great program , people who want to learn farming come to intern.
My husband and I have come together in our later years, then I had a child with him at 46-( I already had two 18&10 then ) . We sold both our places and are building a farm from bare land. Off- grid , shrubbery and tree covered, we've cleared and are building soil and gardens, have already had a builder build a house, barns,helped to build out buildings and fencing( ourselves). Using mostly our own wood we've cut and milled. We will eventually be able to grow grass and have more pastured animals.But we are tired and also frustrated at how much it costs to farm and how little you make.
But I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
http://www.rosemancreekranch.com |
| grace gerber |
Posted - Sep 12 2011 : 5:26:07 PM
Yep all fiber and your right that is alot of goaties. I use to also have a dozen milking got but them I got smart. Would love as some point to have just one milking goat but then I remember the work and I slap myself...
Grace Gerber
Larkspur Funny Farm and Fiber Art Studio
Where the spirits are high and the fiber is deep
http://www.larkspurfunnyfarm.etsy.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.blogspot.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.artfire.com
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| kristin sherrill |
Posted - Sep 11 2011 : 07:40:10 AM
I am not single, widowed or divorced but married to a truck dorver. Kinda the same thing any way I look at it. We have 3 acres with goats, sheep and a few cows. Too many chickens and 3 turkeys. 3 dogs and 6 cats. I do it all myself. I did have most of the front in garden space and I sold at farmer's markets. But made the one half into a sheep pasture. It is a lot of work. Lots! But I would not want to do any other thing right now. At the end of the day, when all are fed and happy, I can go sit out in front with the sheep and it's so peaceful. The goats are quiet. The cows might moo a little. The chickens are clucking, still scratching around looking for bugs or worms. The sheep are so nice and peaceful and good. I love them. I think about getting a few wool sheep and probaby will soon. I love it here.
Grace, you have 80 goats? wow, that's alotta goats. And they are all fiber?
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
| grace gerber |
Posted - Sep 11 2011 : 06:24:19 AM
Debbie - I started my farm after my husband passed some 15 years ago now. We started with 2 llamas and chickens and by the end of the year I was over 200 animals - llamas, south down sheep, icelandic sheep, milk goats, angora and cashmere goats and alpacas. My son were 13 amd 9 so it was all me since the beginning and how they are grown and gone and it is all me. I have down sized to only 80 goats, 3 llamas, 24 chickens and my three great pry's but it is a ton of work and I also have a fiber business that consumes my every minute as well. I have 35 acres and I have been considering selling my farm, animals and the whole shooting match - still thinking about it because the cost of feed, the economy and the workload all make this life very hard to do. It is was not for those issues I would never give it up.
Look foreword to hearing from others and will be visiting you sites.
Grace Gerber
Larkspur Funny Farm and Fiber Art Studio
Where the spirits are high and the fiber is deep
http://www.larkspurfunnyfarm.etsy.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.blogspot.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.artfire.com
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| nabrown42 |
Posted - Sep 10 2011 : 07:31:37 AM
We're only planning on having some chickens but I'd love to drop in to see your farm. We're moving to Caneyville area next week. We purchased 39+ acres and want to plant an orchard on part of it and plan to grow as much of our produce as possible in raised beds. Hubby had a triple spinal fusion 6 months ago and we hope the raised beds will make things easier for both of us to cultivate.
Your blogs are a wealth of information!
"I've wept in the night for the shortness of sight that to someone's needs I've been blind; but I've yet to feel a twinge of regret for being a little too kind." |
| Debbie Apple |
Posted - Sep 09 2011 : 6:26:54 PM
Hi Melina,
thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement. If my children had not been raised on a farm and were like fish out of water in town, I'm not sure I would have had the courage to do it on my own.
Debbie Apple
hearthtoharvest.com
Wherever I am, the world comes after me.
It offers me its busyness. It does not believe that I do not want it...
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| Melina |
Posted - Sep 09 2011 : 1:25:36 PM
I just finished a quick browse of your sites and I'll take a slower, closer look later. I always wanted to do what you're doing, but my spouse is not as enthusiastic. Rather than push him out of his comfort zone I've settled for smaller pieces of land and more easily achieved dreams.
You have much to offer and I hope the ladies here take advantage of it.
The morning breeze has secrets to tell you. Do not go back to sleep.
Rumi |
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