| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| nabrown42 |
Posted - Sep 08 2011 : 3:51:04 PM
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How do you feel about requesting guests don't wear shoes in your house? Our new house in KY has gorgeous wood floors and we decided that we wouldn't wear shoes inside. I told my best friend about our plan to offer slippers to everyone so that we can maintain the floors. She went ballistic! Said that nobody will tell here when and where she can wear shoes and if that was the way I felt, she wouldn't be visiting me. I'm hurt and bewildered by her outburst. I figure in my house my rules go.
Would you be offended by such a request?
"I've wept in the night for the shortness of sight that to someone's needs I've been blind; but I've yet to feel a twinge of regret for being a little too kind." |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Wildcrafter |
Posted - Nov 08 2011 : 5:27:30 PM
quote:
Originally posted by lilwing
Just a thought... I have to wear shoes in the house. I have special orthotics that help me walk... if someone like this needs shoes to be able to walk better because of a medical issue, I would hope the person requesting no shoes in their house would understand.
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Absolutely!
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| lilwing |
Posted - Nov 08 2011 : 3:40:45 PM
Nancy, I think she over-reacted! I'd never act that way if asked. I think she was out of line in her reaction really. I just know that I would be in quite a predicament if I had to take mine off - Actually, I love going barefoot. It's really kind of sad!
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Proud Farmgirl #775
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| nabrown42 |
Posted - Nov 08 2011 : 3:17:05 PM
I hope you all don't think I'm some kind of an uncaring snob. Trust me, I'm not that way at all. I would never "demand" anything...my request to my friend wasn't said in a harsh way and that is the reason I was so surprised by her original reaction. We are all different with differing opinions on all aspects of life and our houses. I choose not to wear shoes but I'm never going to deny access to my home if my visitor doesn't see my way. Shoes or not...friends are the greatest gift and blessing I could ever have, shoes on or off.
"I've wept in the night for the shortness of sight that to someone's needs I've been blind; but I've yet to feel a twinge of regret for being a little too kind." |
| lilwing |
Posted - Nov 08 2011 : 1:29:59 PM
Just a thought... I have to wear shoes in the house. I have special orthotics that help me walk... if someone like this needs shoes to be able to walk better because of a medical issue, I would hope the person requesting no shoes in their house would understand.
~~~~
Proud Farmgirl #775
http://honeybrookefarm.blogspot.com
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| Wildcrafter |
Posted - Nov 07 2011 : 1:26:48 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Wildcrafter
[quote]Originally posted by Madelena
You walk across parking lots and step in ?? well...birds doo; vehicles leak grease,oil and antifreeze; the grassy areas you cross may have fertilizer and pesticide residue; cats and dogs do doo; small critters pass away and decompose - ooo; bugs go squish;
Shoes are riddled with germs and stuff that you don't want tracked into your homes.. where the babies crawl, the kids sit on the rugs -- touch the rugs -- put fingers on their face -- ooo, again. I think that's 'nuff pictorials.
So please don't feel bad if your friends don't understand, after all, you're just looking out for their health as well as your families {Not to mention that you will have a lot less dirt and grime to clean up all the time !! -BIG PERK! } AND I love the idea of hand knitted or crocheted slipper/booties for guests. Washable and reusable. Cool !
I was going to say something like this, but will just say...what she said!I have chickens, am always in their pen walking on their poop, in my garden in the dirt and the rabbits' poop, in the garage making soap and oils get all over....I could go on.
People know to take off their shoes at my house or they ask. I had an open house/craft fair at my home yesterday with 2 other women and had a lot of people moving through the kitchen, living room and bathroom. I had a welcome sign at the door and a request to come in and leave their shoes in the entry way. I had a chair available. Everyone, even the elder ladies, took off their shoes except for a diva who claimed she couldn't take off her boots because it was too hard for her (no, she didn't have any disabilities) and she didn't want to break up her outfit. Poor baby. It was all women having a good time, eating good food, visiting and checking out our wares. It wasn't a fashion show. I would have been fine if the elders kept their shoes on, but they had them off before I could tell them to just come on in!
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| Wildcrafter |
Posted - Nov 07 2011 : 1:22:50 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Madelena
You walk across parking lots and step in ?? well...birds doo; vehicles leak grease,oil and antifreeze; the grassy areas you cross may have fertilizer and pesticide residue; cats and dogs do doo; small critters pass away and decompose - ooo; bugs go squish;
Shoes are riddled with germs and stuff that you don't want tracked into your homes.. where the babies crawl, the kids sit on the rugs -- touch the rugs -- put fingers on their face -- ooo, again. I think that's 'nuff pictorials.
So please don't feel bad if your friends don't understand, after all, you're just looking out for their health as well as your families {Not to mention that you will have a lot less dirt and grime to clean up all the time !! -BIG PERK! } AND I love the idea of hand knitted or crocheted slipper/booties for guests. Washable and reusable. Cool !
Have a GREAT DAY ...
Madelena
I was going to say something like this, but will just say...what she said!I have chickens, am always in their pen walking on their poop, in my garden in the dirt and the rabbits' poop, in the garage making soap and oils get all over....I could go on.
People know to take off their shoes at my house or they ask. I had an open house/craft fair at my home yesterday with 2 other women and had a lot of people moving through the kitchen, living room and bathroom. I had a welcome sign at the door and a request to come in and leave their shoes in the entry way. I had a chair available. Everyone, even the elder ladies, took off their shoes except for a diva who claimed she couldn't take off her boots because it was too hard for her. Poor baby. I would have been fine if the elders kept their shoes on, but they had them off before I could tell them to just come on in!
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| debtea2 |
Posted - Nov 06 2011 : 10:25:57 AM
this is such a touchy subject or should i say footsie..LOL
inch by inch we find our way
jersey farmgirl
#1330
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| njaw09 |
Posted - Nov 02 2011 : 3:50:25 PM
I wear shoes in our house. My parents usually want everyone to remove their shoes (she doesn't want to keep on mopping the floor...I won't blame her. She is 70 almost). But when I go to my parents alone I usually have the shoe on and my mom wouldn't mind. Some of my relatives & friends ask me to remove our shoes and it is fine. Sometimes they offer slippers and some doesn't. It doesn't bother me.
blog: http://nj-nyc-3inna.blogspot.com/ |
| nabrown42 |
Posted - Nov 02 2011 : 2:51:19 PM
Well, my friend came and didn't take off her shoes but when she saw that both my husband and I were wearing slippers and her husband grabbed a pair from the basket, too, she took off her shoes and kept them off the whole time. She remarked many times how shiney my floors were, both the vinyl ones and the wood floor in the living room. We had a pleasant visit and nothing was ever mentioned about the shoe issue.
"I've wept in the night for the shortness of sight that to someone's needs I've been blind; but I've yet to feel a twinge of regret for being a little too kind." |
| debtea2 |
Posted - Nov 01 2011 : 5:49:14 PM
i think you should give people aheads up before they come over.
never in my life did anyone ever ask. so it is strange to me.
and i would never ask peopl to barefoot in my home, It too have beautiful hardwoods.
but one time someone i didn't know well invited me over and when i got there they ask we shed our shoes
well problem was its was cold really cold and she had cold tile floors
my little dress booties were fur lined no socks and honestly i didn't not want to walk barefoot. and i don't like to go shoeless, i like my shoes they are part of my outfit..its like asking me to remove my pants or skirt and its embarrasing, so i said i could not stay and maybe she could come to my home next time..we never spoke again..
also some people have really stinky feet .. i have no real problem
with the NO SHOE policy if a slipper or socks are there or someone
tells me in advance and its just me..but if its a dinner or party then i could make a smarter chose in footwear
and wear socks & get a pedi or bring my own slippers
.its a personally thing. but i do respect other peoples
house rules. and if i don't like them i leave giving the headache excuse.or decline the invite.but its your house and your rules
enjoy your floors.
blessings deborah
inch by inch we find our way
jersey farmgirl
#1330
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| Madelena |
Posted - Nov 01 2011 : 4:02:15 PM
Hi everyone. Let me join in..
My mom always asked that everyone remove their shoes. No one seemed offended {This was way back in the 60's} -- AND she was a gal ahead of her time. I'm sure many of you have become aware of the statistics that the majority of dirt and pollutants that enter a home, come in on people shoes. (I think it was even on Dr. Oz show recently.) Sounds strange. Thing about it.
You walk across parking lots and step in ?? well...birds doo; vehicles leak grease,oil and antifreeze; the grassy areas you cross may have fertilizer and pesticide residue; cats and dogs do doo; small critters pass away and decompose - ooo; bugs go squish;
Shoes are riddled with germs and stuff that you don't want tracked into your homes.. where the babies crawl, the kids sit on the rugs -- touch the rugs -- put fingers on their face -- ooo, again. I think that's 'nuff pictorials.
And most of this can be alleviated with the simple family custom of removing one's shoes. Mom always had slippers at the front door for visitors.. we kids just ran around with our socks (I still love kicking off my shoes the minute I get home).
So please don't feel bad if your friends don't understand, after all, you're just looking out for their health as well as your families {Not to mention that you will have a lot less dirt and grime to clean up all the time !! -BIG PERK! } AND I love the idea of hand knitted or crocheted slipper/booties for guests. Washable and reusable. Cool !
Have a GREAT DAY ...
Madelena |
| Dorinda |
Posted - Oct 17 2011 : 5:19:21 PM
No one wears their shoes in my house. I have a basket by the door so you can take off your shoes and sit them in the basket. I do not offer slippers at all. You can wear your socks. My floors are clean and I intend to keep them that way. Don't like it then don't come over!!! I've always been that way. And I have lots of company!!
Seize The Day!
Dorinda |
| blessedhomemaker |
Posted - Oct 16 2011 : 6:50:41 PM
I am obviously in the minority here.I wear shoes all day long in my house.I do not force (or expect)others to have to take off their shoes in my home.The only exception would be if they had mud,grease,etc. on them.I feel very uncomfortable having to take my shoes off in someone else's home.It is their home,not mine so I don't feel I should be making myself THAT "comfy".
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| nabrown42 |
Posted - Oct 16 2011 : 11:47:12 AM
My friend is planning on coming down this weekend for a visit...we'll see how things go. If she takes the hint, that's great. If not, I'm not interested in ending our friendship over the issue. When I've seen fuzzy socks on sale in my shopping trips to Bowling Green, I've picked up some and will put them by the door in the basket. That's as far as I'm going to go.
Thanks for all the comments. All sides have valid responses and it's fun to read about everyone else's experiences.
"I've wept in the night for the shortness of sight that to someone's needs I've been blind; but I've yet to feel a twinge of regret for being a little too kind." |
| idcityrose |
Posted - Oct 15 2011 : 6:57:27 PM
People are more important that floors in my world. I would never ask anyone to remove shoes (unless they were muddy boots) to come in and visit. I know that many people ask for shoes to be removed but I do not have single friend whose home has those rules. If I met someone new and visited their home and was asked I would remove my shoes but I am not comfortable being barefoot. My feet are in terrible condition and require the structure of a shoe to allow me to walk much. Maybe she is embarressed about her feet (if you saw mine you would wonder how I can stand up). Just a suggestion. Did she over react. Yes but why did she. Just another point of view.
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| nabrown42 |
Posted - Oct 05 2011 : 09:47:00 AM
We'll have to wait and see how things work out. There is a bench right by the front door and a basket of soft fuzzy sockes which will be washed after each wearing. If people take the hint, that's great, if not, so be it. I'm not going to have a hissy fit. I want friends to feel comfortable and glad to see me, shoes or not.
"I've wept in the night for the shortness of sight that to someone's needs I've been blind; but I've yet to feel a twinge of regret for being a little too kind." |
| FarmDream |
Posted - Oct 05 2011 : 08:27:24 AM
Since this thread started I have put a lot of thought into this subject. I have made more of an effort to not wear shoes in my house. DD seems to take her shoes off naturally when she comes inside...with almost everything else..sigh. DH usually takes his off at the bedroom closet. I've started leaving a pair of shoes at the door for quick dashes outside.
I also wondered if maybe the friend had ugly feet? I giggled about that, but some people are very self conscious about their feet. I knew a girl who had an accident and her pinky toe was sheared off in the spokes of her bicycle wheel. I'm not sure I'd want to see someone's big hairy toes.
Another tidbit of information is about plantar warts. These are from bacteria that can be picked up by walking barefoot on people's carpet. So some people may be hesitant for this reason, too.
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| marmieto12 |
Posted - Oct 04 2011 : 9:45:04 PM
I too have wood floors. There is generally a pile of shoes lined up in my entry way. I have never requested to take off shoes, but as guests see the pile of shoes and the long entry hall rug, they offer to take shoes off! In the winter I have a tray for wet shoes too.
One of my biggest inexpensive sellers for vinyl is "Please remove your shoes"...I do not have it on my door tho' :)
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| Crystal Koelzer |
Posted - Oct 03 2011 : 11:49:09 PM
My MIL has the no shoes rule too and when my husband and I first started dating I thought she was ridiculous. But now that we have moved into our new house we have instituted the no shoes rule too because I am tired of cleaning the floors everyday. Maybe if the provided house shoes were easily washed you could toss them in the wash after each visitor? |
| K-Falls Farmgirl |
Posted - Oct 03 2011 : 6:30:28 PM
I believe....If she was your "true friend" she would not have a problem doing a simple request to remove her shoes at the front door.. I have done this and my farm chicks ion my chapter automatically remove theirs at the door.. I have provided socks for those who do not wear them.. They are cozy to wear and nobody minds.. I say Bravo Take off the shoes!
Cheryl farm sister #309 Klamath falls Oregon.
Cheryl
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| andwhathaveya |
Posted - Sep 19 2011 : 9:12:12 PM
Growing up, I was always told to take my shoes off when I was a guest in someone's home (out of respect). At home, anything went. We could walk around with one shoe on and one shoe off and my mother never said a word to us. I think her reaction was a bit over the top but she's your pal. She was probably just having a bad day and the shoe comment just drove her over the edge. If my bff told me that I couldn't wear shoes in her house, I wouldn't...actually, I don't...but she never asked. If she told me that we had to wear our shirts inside out at her house, I'd do it because I love her...I would make fun of her a little for it though...only to her face. |
| Beverley |
Posted - Sep 17 2011 : 11:12:27 AM
boy I never really thought about this much before but when I was growing up we always took our shoes off at home so to help with dragging in dirt out of respect for my mother who was the one who was the one doing the cleaning when we were young. When I grew up , my kids always were taught to take their shoes off too. so that you don't bring in the grime of the outdoors. one time we took up the carpet and the kids saw what was underneath it and I said to them and we take our shoes off can you imagine if we didn't. I noticed in both of their homes , the shoes come off at the door but when people visit we never made a point of telling them to do the same. We just cleaned up afterwards. I really never thought of it being a cultural thing just a respect thing. I always take my shoes off at other peoples homes out of respect for the home owner and them not having to clean up after me. Wow, this thread has been eye opening..
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| missusprim |
Posted - Sep 16 2011 : 4:36:15 PM
Nancy, after seeing your post regarding your friend having control issues - I rethought my response a bit. Trying to appease your friend will only give her the very control she wants over a situation that shouldn't be hers to control in the first place: your home.
That said, you've both already had your say and know how the other stands. So modify your house as you would normally have done. For example a comfy seat/bench near the front door to sit on to remove or put on shoes, a handy mat or basket for shoes or optional slippers/shoe guards, etc. You will have kindly provided all that's needed for people to be comfy in your house minus their footwear.
I'm sure there are numerous things that the people surrounding her do to appease her because it's what she likes/expects/needs/wants....... She should do the same for you, her friend.
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| nabrown42 |
Posted - Sep 16 2011 : 01:58:37 AM
Rosemary, that's perfect. Thanks for posting it. I'm going to start crocheting slippers when I get unpacked.
"I've wept in the night for the shortness of sight that to someone's needs I've been blind; but I've yet to feel a twinge of regret for being a little too kind." |
| sue5901 |
Posted - Sep 16 2011 : 12:40:52 AM
Lauren
I was thinking about why I feel the way I do about this after I had done my post and I think you are right - it is something about not feeling fully dressed without my shoes on and I would only want to feel that way in my own home and certainly not around strangers.
Like you I go along with it in others homes without complaint but have to say I would not want friends or visitors to feel uncomfortable in my home and would go out of my way to accomodate them.
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