| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| mtngirl1 |
Posted - Apr 19 2007 : 11:20:40 AM
I haven't been on here in probably a year or more as i have been working and not had much free time. About a month ago I (with my husbands agreement) decided to stay at home fulltime. I have 2 boys and my husband. First, let me say that I do not know how I ever got anything done at home when I was working full time. Secondly, believe it or not, I am having a hard time adjusting. Before I got married and had kids, I had hobbies- sewing, art, music- but that seems like such a long time ago. Sure, there is plenty to do around here- we have an old farmhouse in the mountains of virginia- I have started a big garden so I can can and we have a big yard so I can garden. But I feel lost with no direction. Oh well- it seems odd to vent with strangers- but it also seems comforting to just say it. Anyways- are there any farmgirls near Nelson County Virginia? |
| 17 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| mtngirl1 |
Posted - Apr 23 2007 : 05:12:45 AM
I learned how to say no a long time ago- per my husband who saw how stressed out I was from all of my committments. People just assume that since you are a SAHM that you have all the free time in the world. I read a book by Elizabeth George called "A Wife After God's Own Heart" and the section on being at home there was a sentence that said- You have to be there (at home)- period. Not all the time of course- but to have a loving, nuturing home- you have to physically be there. Thanks again for all your encouragement!!!!!
Kim |
| oceanfarmgirl |
Posted - Apr 22 2007 : 08:42:08 AM
GREAT advice so far! One thing that I did was to start sticking to doing the things I LOVE. My home is important to me, so of course, there are some not so FUN tasks that I have to tackle in house work, but it's all in the goal of nurtuing what I do love. I made a list. If something doesn't fit into one of the things on my list, I' probably won't do it. If I have a full plate, and something comes up, I either take something OFF the list, or say no. Work hard to keep yourself from over schedualling yourself. It's easy to fill up your days and weeks with "stuff" that seemed great at the time, but in the end you will just be spreading yourself over a large area, and none of those areas will REALLY get any benefit of you. AND sometimes, you can lose yourself in the process of being "everything" you want to be. Stick to a few things that you REALLY love. Give them TIME to bloom and fill out. It's just like a garden. If you plant your seed too closely, you end up with a garden that is too full and crowded to grow. But if you tend to your plants, and keep them thinned out, the plants that are growing in your garden fill out, and blossom, and bear fruit that feeds you AND your neighbors.
See what I'm up to on my blog... http://minetothine.blogspot.com
OR check out my gardening activities at http://oceanfarmgirlsgarden.blogspot.com |
| Alee |
Posted - Apr 22 2007 : 08:21:40 AM
Shannon-
That is really good advice. It is really important to make sure that you aren't just replacing one full time job with another (in volunteer work)!
Alee |
| Love-in-a-Mist |
Posted - Apr 22 2007 : 08:17:26 AM
A word of caution. Since my kids have gotten a little bit older 5 and 3 I have started joining groups around the community. There are not alot of SAHM out there, so you will probably be asked to volunteer ALOT. Work on your saying NO abilities, or like me, you will get in over your head.
I have vowed to only volunteer for one position next year and not take on anymore after that.
http://love-in-a-mist-shannon.blogspot.com/ |
| mtngirl1 |
Posted - Apr 22 2007 : 06:05:27 AM
You guys are great!!! Thanks for the ideas! I keep thinking about the proverbs 31 woman. Although theologically speaking- this proverb is just a state of mind we are to have and not a list of things to do to be successful. I think part of my problem is that I do not schedule any time for myself and it needs to be balanced more. However- after working full time for so many years-things have piled up. For example- I cleaned out a small chest of drawers that had not been cleaned out in 10 years or better and have lots of things to do like that. But I guess if it has waited 10 years a few more weeks won't matter. But i am excited abhout the garden, I want to get back into drawing, reading and I want to learn to make soap since I have so many herbs planted now. Then we are getting chickens and goats- I am excited about that also. |
| JudyBlueEyes |
Posted - Apr 20 2007 : 10:15:56 AM
Hi, Kimberly, I can relate to your trouble adjusting to not having a "work schedule." I think the suggestion to make a schedule would help immensely. Funny as it seems, the old way of "Monday washday," "Tuesday ironing," Wednesday cleaning," Thursday baking, etc. really works and was devised for a reason. You might want to look up posts from Gaias Rose (Tasha) about how she keeps organized. She had a really good idea of a separate calendar for her homekeeping tasks and reports that it works very well for her. She is a SAHM with her two girls and she has her craft business too. When I read about that homekeeping calendar, I did it for myself, even though I work 40 hours, there are so many things that need done and I don't have a husband to assign those "honey-do's" - so I planned out 3 months of tasks to get done before the gardening starts in earnest. I have accomplished maybe half of what I planned, but it is at least crossed off the list and I still have two weekends in April... (I am a procrastinator and a last minute person...) For May through July, I will calendar gardening/lawn mowing and then add in making Christmas presents and Christmas cards. I was sewing my last Christmas presents for nieces and nephews on Christmas morning, before our family gathering at 2 PM last Christmas, and I vowed never to do that again! Hence, the calendar! Also, I have family coming to visit in early July, so I have a new deadline to get some things done, like painting the kitchen and painting the breakfast nook...
Anyhow, good luck, and be easy on yourself. Your DH and boys are the most important, so keep them in mind when you're figuring out what will work for you. And don't forget to get out in the community yourself. Join a book club at your library if you like to read, or take a class in something to get you out and talking to other women with similar interests. Join a garden club...and have fun with your farmhouse! FarmGirl Hugs! Judy
The Rooster crows, but the Hen lays the egg. ~ Texas Proverb |
| Bee Haven Maven |
Posted - Apr 20 2007 : 01:39:05 AM
Good for you, Kimberly. You might want to list some long-term goals that you would like to do like a sewing or art project, or learning a new craft. Then, when you plan each day, save a little time for yourself in working toward you goals. I love lists....nothing like being able to cross off what you have accomplished. Have fun... your time will fill up quickly.
Keep Smiling.....Bev
Bee Haven Acres
http://beehavenacres.blogspot.com/
http://beehavenmaven.blogspot.com/ |
| windypines |
Posted - Apr 19 2007 : 6:59:00 PM
I have always been a stay at home mom. Would not of done it any other way. But alot of times I need that list of what I want to do in a day. Otherwise I would flit around doing a little of this and that and not get anything done. Some days the list goes to the wayside, and I do what I feel like. Good luck, and you will have plenty to keep you busy. Michele |
| westernhorse51 |
Posted - Apr 19 2007 : 5:30:25 PM
Kimberly, you DO have direction. Staying home & running a household is work & a person must have direction to do it well. Think of all the many hats you will have to wear.
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
| Alee |
Posted - Apr 19 2007 : 5:21:43 PM
Mima-
How funny! When I have a really "bad" chore to do or I just need some extra zing to my enthusiasm- I turn up the radio too!
Kimberly- Hopefully your new situation and the land will give you lots of fun things to sketch. I love to sketch and paint but alas I am not very good at it!
Alee
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| mima |
Posted - Apr 19 2007 : 4:26:48 PM
Oh! Another thing I do to stay motivated and movingis my favorite rock music LOUD! Queen, Shakira,anything that makes you happy and move! |
| mima |
Posted - Apr 19 2007 : 3:58:30 PM
I agree with Alee, do what needs to be done first. I am a morning person so I do things that are hardest or least enjoyable in the morning when my energy level is at it's peak. Find out when you have the most energy. I'm not too hard on myself either! If the house is picked up, we have something for dnner,and I got a walk in or some yoga,or something else that I enjoy! Then I can call it a good day! Be good to yourself! |
| Alee |
Posted - Apr 19 2007 : 3:12:47 PM
Kimberly-
I do that to myself too! But this past month I have been getting better at realizing how much I can actually really expect to get done. One thing that I do is focus on getting the "critical" stuff done in the morning- like cooking and cleaning. Then the afternoon is for my projects, like sewing and gardening.
Hope that helps.
Alee
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| mtngirl1 |
Posted - Apr 19 2007 : 3:04:54 PM
Mima- I am having a problem with scheduling myself- I usually make a list way to long to finish in a day- it is frustrating |
| mtngirl1 |
Posted - Apr 19 2007 : 3:03:18 PM
Alee- Iused to draw alot- pencil and charcoal. |
| mima |
Posted - Apr 19 2007 : 2:39:59 PM
I just went on a little "break" about a month ago too!For about the last 5 years(after being mostly a stay at home mom)I worked in an extremely busy drs. office, very stressful! So with my hubbys blessing I' m staying home again! I love it!!!! What helps me, is that I keep my self on a schedule. Get up, a little coffee and quiet time, and clean up the house, work in the garden, then I try to work out everyday even if it's only going for a long walk. Afternoons are for running errands ,crafts,goofing off! till its time to make dinner. I'm also studying to be a Childbirth Educator so I use that time for studying. I got married and had children young ,so this is my time to find out what I enjoy and I am passionate about. ( I'm lucky to have a supportive husband!)Best of luck, but keeping on a schedule seems to help me alot! (i'm probably a little OCD too! LOL!)I do spend way to much time on this forum tho!!!!!(It's under the "goofing off" part!) |
| Alee |
Posted - Apr 19 2007 : 2:13:33 PM
Hi Kimberly-
I am sure it might take a little while to adjust, but I am sure you will really enjoy staying home once you "settle in".
I love baking and I am trying to learn sewing. Your garden sounds like a big project as well!
What types of art did you used to do?
Alee |
