| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| asnedecor |
Posted - Oct 26 2006 : 8:15:48 PM
Do you ever wonder what happened to basic politeness? I work with an array of individuals - outside customers, salesmen, vendors, people in other departments within my company, etc and a lot of them don't know how to say thank you. I e-mail to have something done - a package rushed, a invoice processed, etc. I usually get a response telling me it is done - I always say thank you. When I am asked to do something - it is rare to get a thank you from those individuals. I also notice that when I go to the local coffee shop, store etc, it is hard to get a You are Welcome, have a nice day, Thank you from the people who work there. I always say please and thank you to them. Sometimes I don't even get an acknowledgement when I pay for the coffee - they just take my money hand me my coffee and on to the next person. What has happened with people?
I do have to say there are a few out there that greet you with a smile, say thank you and appreciate you as a fellow employee or customer - both those are rare.
Are we too busy to care anymore?
Anne in Portland
"Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them" Eyeore from Winnie the Pooh
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| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| asnedecor |
Posted - Nov 02 2006 : 06:57:59 AM
How rude to take all the candy. I won't leave a bucket out for that very reason. I was surprised this year - we have quite a few kids and all except one group of "Tweens" were accompanied by parents. All said Thank you, even the "Tweens" It was very cold and windy here so I was very amazed at the turn out - but things wrapped up by 7:30/8 pm because of the cold. Jennifer - sorry about your leg - I know that can be painful.
Anne in Portland
"Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them" Eyeore from Winnie the Pooh
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| blueroses |
Posted - Nov 01 2006 : 09:46:44 AM
Candace,
I thought I was the only one who won't move when people are taking up the whole sidewalk!!! I know some people (my husband) think I'm cranky, but I just find it so annoying that parents don't seem to teach their children the simple manners that we were taught.
I do try to use my sister's theory, "You catch more flies with honey, than vinegar" or Frannie's rose colored glasses more often than not, though.
Debbie
"You cannot find peace...by avoiding life."
Virginia Woolfe |
| JenniferJuniper |
Posted - Nov 01 2006 : 09:15:20 AM
Thanks, Libbie. I admit I was hoping someone woke up with a bellyache this morning...
I was on the verge of tears when the doorbell rang again, thinking that all the candy had been pilfered a 3rd time....and it was a little boy (accompanied by his dad) who only wanted to say "thank you" for leaving the candy out. It make up for the other ones, by a long shot.
I moved to Texas at 12, where "ma'm" and "sir" and "please" and "thank you" were all but mandatory, it became second nature in no time. I was a flight attendant for 6 years & know that these simple phrases made all the difference when dealing with passengers. And, having been on cructhes for 2 months now, I see the best and worst in people - someone will cut in front of me in line at the store knowing I can't move as fast as them, then the next time a kind person will offer to let me in front of them. I always try to look for the good & forget the bad...as Ghandi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world. |
| Libbie |
Posted - Nov 01 2006 : 08:07:55 AM
Oh, dear, Jennifer - that is so sad... we always had a parent accompanying us, too. Isn't it strange sometimes what people choose to do? All I can say is that there is a natural consequence for that kind of thing - a fierce tummy ache !!!
At our house, which is at the end of the road and has been "known" for being haunted because it's so old - one of the first houses in the town - we had NOT ONE trick-or-treater. We went to the little town Halloween party at the town hall where you can get a hot dog for 50 cents and the kids play "go-fish" and all sorts of other little kid games - when we came back - nobody had even touched the candy that I left out on the porch... I have to figure out how to make our house a little more enticing on Halloween. Trick-or-treaters are so much fun, especially when I have little ones here so they can see other kids' costumes and things. This year, none, and last year we had a whopping (drum roll.....) TWO!!!
XOXO, Libbie
"Nothing is worth more than this day." - Goethe |
| JenniferJuniper |
Posted - Oct 31 2006 : 5:12:17 PM
Slightly off the subject but in the same vein.....
I just put a cauldron-type bucket of 5 bags of Halloween candy outside the front door with a nice sign to please take one only. I have a broken foot and am on crutches, so obviously can't run to the door.
The bucket was out 30 minutes, then some kid apparently dumped the entire thing into his bag because it was empty and no more than 5 kids came up the driveway.
Ok. I refill the bucket with another bag of candy, and 15 minutes later the door bell rings with an adorable child trick or treating...and I saw that apparently, not only has some other kid taken the candy, but the bucket I kept it in as well!!!!! I'm half tempted to turn of the lights and call it a night, but that would punish all the good kids out there.
All I know is, I would have NEVER done such a thing as a child... then again, we always had a parent accompany us trick-or-treating.
I'm getting off my soapbox now.
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| Miss Bee Haven |
Posted - Oct 30 2006 : 08:34:15 AM
Karen - I had to laugh when you said 'counting back change'! They DON'T because they CAN'T!!! I bought a large garbage bag of vintage linens at a thrift store recently. The tag read $24.78. There was a half price sale that day, and when I heaved the bag onto the counter, the little girl at the register turned and looked at her co-worker and asked "What's half of twenty four??" :)
But I have a boss who ALWAYS thanks me, even for the most mundane of things. He remembers birthdays, secretary's day, and has always been not just a boss, but a friend.
And does anyone feel that, especially in a work situation, people are many times curter/ruder in an email than they would be in person? Is it that they don't have to face the person? This is especially true for my friend Susan, who teaches online - students are nasty and demanding.
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?" - 'Brother Dave' Gardner |
| Kathigene |
Posted - Oct 30 2006 : 06:55:29 AM
This topic is my crusade! And has been for some time. I decided a long long time ago that I would probably never be rich but there was no reason whatsoever that I couldn't be gracious. Gracious people are polite and they leave the people they deal with feeling better for having dealt with them. So I go through life overwhelming people with politeness. It's not my concern if the other person knows how to be polite it's only my job to make sure that I'm gracious and polite to them. I nearly always attempt to exchange a few words with every one who waits on me. Do I always succeed, no but at least I try. But when I do succeed it's wonderful.
And there is also a duty on my part that I not judge people based on their job or how they are dressed. I don't look at the kid with the cap on sideways and his shoes not tied and assume that he won't help me with my groceries. And Andrew became my buddy who time and time again helped me out to my car after back surgery. Just because the parents are dressed as goths doesn't mean they aren't longing for someone to notice their beautiful baby girl.
And when you do warm that person up and get the service you want or you do find that wonderful person that is naturally warm and polite use the power of the computer and make a positive comment to their boss. Learn names and make sure that the right person gets the credit for being friendly and polite. You should rarely complain but you should lavish compliments as often as you can. Positive reinforcement works!
I believe I can make a difference so imagine how much of a difference we can make if we all change our attitude and remember always to be gracious.
Kathy
Dogs make such good friends because they wag their tails rather then their tongues. |
| Beemoosie |
Posted - Oct 29 2006 : 08:53:45 AM
Frannie...you are a WISE woman...I love your view of the world! I learned something today...thanks
Bonnie
...she is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.
Prov 31:10 |
| sunshine |
Posted - Oct 29 2006 : 08:52:32 AM
it is interesting I was raised till 16 by my grandmother and she loved politnes ( ie please thank you and your welcome) I have tried to teach that to my kids. People always comment on have nice and polite they are it is sad sometimes to me because I can tell by their reaction that they don't expect a child to be that way. It saddens me because to me it means that this is missing in their families or it would not be a surprise. When my kids are polite I expect it if they are rude that is the shooker to me not the other way around. I thank heaven that I ahve never heard about them being rude when I am not around they always get compliments I hope other people hear as much good about their kids as I do mine. I always make sure and tell them so that they know their is areward for being good. Not the usual you only tell your kids when someone complains about them. This is probably a little off subject but I think it is sad when politnes is not the norm rudness is. I know every one gets that way at time ( me for sure) but I hope they become farther and farther apart.
have a lovely day and may God bless you and keep you safe
my web store www.sunshines.etsy.com my other web store http://vintagethreads.etsy.com/
my blog http://sunshinescreations.blogspot.com/ my google page http://sunshine.harbaugh.googlepages.com/home |
| CabinCreek-Kentucky |
Posted - Oct 29 2006 : 08:05:00 AM
Libbie .. i love your son's term "feisty day" .. what a wonderfully understanding way to view the world! I'm going to remember that term and always apply it when i think someone has been "temporarily" rude or ill-tempered or impolite. And i believe that kindess will mostly win over these people .. maybe not so that 'we' get to see them that way at that moment ... but no truly kind act goes unforgotten .. and hopefully, by remembering your son's attitude ... will 'plant a seed' of kindness in each person we meet.
True Friends, Frannie
CABIN CREEK FARM
KENTUCKY
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| Alee |
Posted - Oct 28 2006 : 9:08:24 PM
This is such an interesting topic. I was raised to always say "Please and Thank you". I can't remember or wouldn't even care to guess how many times my mom would say in "that" tone of voice- "What do you say, Alyssa?" lol oh my! sometimes it was horribly embarassing for me since I was old enough to know better!
Some people I will always call by their last name like Mrs. Smith or whatever, but some family friends I call by their first names. I think it is all dependant on what makes the individual being addressed comfortable.
Does anyone remember the movie "Patch Adams" with Robin Williams in it? In the movie the character Patch does an "experiement" with one of his classmates. He says hello to people in random and weird ways and they wait and recorded the subject's reactions. I have noticed that saying hello to people on the street, opening doors for people, or even just saying "thank you" after you buy something gets much the same reaction.
I think in our busy bustling consumeristic society of today, people can get sucked in to this lie of self sufficency. I really think that people forget that the others that they are interacting with are people too. Mostly they just see them as workers there to serve their purpose. Sometimes I think that some people wouldn't even notice if we replaced half the work force of America with robots!
I must admit I have my bad days where it is hard to be nice and pleasant- but I do try to make and effort every day to remember that what I put out into the world does not just die as soon as I put it out there. If I make an effort to put out positive energy via smiles and politeness then that communicates itself to others too- just as does any negative energy. How many times have you had a great mood dampened because you meet just one too many grumpy people? But just one pleasant person can out weigh those grumpy people!
Anyway I hope to raise my child to be polite and considerate and the best way to do that is make sure I am that way too! Hopefully with all the determination of all us farmgirls we can help make our little corners of the world that much more pleasant and polite!
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| Norskema |
Posted - Oct 28 2006 : 5:32:22 PM
I was raised in a business that served others... a fishing and vacation resort in Minnesota so being polite and helpful was just a way of life. So, it does surprise me when the cashiers and baggers are not cordial when I check out. I do realize, however, that the attitude of being friendly and thanking customers has not been part of their training even though you would think they would already know this is expected. When I get one of those cashier/bagger duos where they have a conversation like I'm invisible... I hesitate when my transaction is complete until the cashier looks up and then I make eye contact and say thank you for your help. If I get a rude response, I have from time-to-time, taken the extra 5 minutes to go to the service desk and tell them that I was disappointed in the lack of customer service when I was checking out. I never name the cashier. Likewise, I have also taken the time to get the name of a bagger or cashier who does a good job and report my positive experience. We can be so quick to complain... at least this is true for me... but sometimes forget to point out when someone does a good job too. Meanwhile, I will continue to get crashed into by youth walking 4&5 abreast on sidewalks because I refuse to move out of their way. Someday, they'll knock this old lady right on my rear end! lol
Every way of a man seems right to himself but the Lord is the tester of hearts. Proverbs 21:2 |
| asnedecor |
Posted - Oct 28 2006 : 09:06:43 AM
After all of this I do have to tell you about an interesting day at the grocery store yesterday. I had the day off from work so I ran to the local store to get some stuff before the rush - so not very busy. I went to turn my cart down an isle and a older gentleman was coming right at me - so I stopped and backed up - he was friendly and said "Am I in your lane - I am sorry, or maybe you're in my lane" and he chuckled, in fact we both did. Very nice man and he told me to have a nice day. So I get a smile from one person and then I go to check out, finish with the clerk and there is a woman who has me blocked in with her cart - I smile look at her and say "excuse me", she grumbles, grabs her cart barely moves it for me to get by. I said thank you and she grumbled again. So you can get a positive and a negative in a short period with people. Lucky for me the friendly gentleman outweighed the grumpy lady.
Anne
"Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them" Eyeore from Winnie the Pooh
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| KarenP |
Posted - Oct 28 2006 : 08:37:58 AM
My beef is that nowadays, it's like the cashier is doing you a favor but taking the time to check up you out, young and older(not all mind you),but a majority.
I hand them money for my purchases and I get my receipt and change with either nothing said or "have a nice day".
I hear customers including myself thanking them. I sometimes let it go and other times, I say "your welcome".
Then I get a strange look from the cashier.
Sometimes it seems if the computer doesn't tell someone to do something it doesn't happen.
Counting back change is another dead issue, I find it hard myself if I haven't done it in a while.
It seems to be something that needs to be practiced (at least for me).
I just feel employers need to stress with employees (or now known as assoicates) that they need to thank the customers. That little thing can change what people think of a business, and could I feel, literately make or break a business.
I do customer service/techincal support where I work, I tell you when something is wrong or a problem has developed, when people call they are upset and take it out on you.
I tend to let people vent and then we start to track down what is really wrong and what we can do to take care of it. I apologize many times for the troubles they are having, and at the end of the call I always thank them.
I usually have a good response from them and it ends on a good note.
just my 2 cents
"Purest Spring Water in the World" |
| Libbie |
Posted - Oct 28 2006 : 07:58:26 AM
I had an "aha" moment about this a few months ago. I was with Will (3-yr-old) at the market and there was a lady behind us in the checkout line who was just being really what I thought was bitter and crazy about the length of the line - the speed of the checker - the prices of the groceries, etc. - and my LITTLE guy was listening and watching with big open eyes and said to me, "She's having a feisty day, isn't she, Mom? We ALL have feisty days, EVEN YOU!!!" and, yep, he's right. It really helps me to remember the words "feisty day" now, and I can smile about things that would have previously made me feel pretty critical. This way, I can ACT in a positive way instead of REACT in a "feisty" way.
I just love how we farmgirls can keep good ol' kindness and manners alive. Hooray for the rose-colored glasses (AND, I have to admit, hooray for knowing when the Darth Vader glasses are required, too!).
XOXO, Libbie
"Nothing is worth more than this day." - Goethe |
| CabinCreek-Kentucky |
Posted - Oct 28 2006 : 04:49:09 AM
gosh .. this honestly doesn't seem to be my experience .. in this thing we call 'life' .. i honestly run into by far more polite people than impolite. oh yes, from time to time .. someone will seem to be rude or indifferent .. but i usually 'chalk that up to' frustration somewhere else in their life or their just being pre-occupied with something else (and oh lordy .. haven't we all been down THAT road from time to time). and i genuinely believe that most people do, indeed, have their calmer, friendlier, more 'polite' moments. i've discovered that a smile or friendly word from me when i encounter these people, "usually" cures those who i think would otherwise seem more socially polite. (oh but see one of my 'rooooooools' below for ME deciding what is and isn't 'socially' polite).
OH YES!!! there are surely some 'meanies' out there in this olde world who were never taught the 'social graces' .. or were mis-treated or neglected as children and therefore mirror these behaviours. i trooooooooly don't mean to sound like a 'pollyanna' .. and i am a firm believer in a little 'proverb' i once read: "I DID NOT HEAR THE WORDS YOU SAID .. INSTEAD I HEARD THE LOVE" ... and those that we do not hear or feel or see politeness coming from .. i kinda' figger we've got a few ways to 'show politeness by example' .. first and foremost on my list would be for me to NOT take any of this personally .. to step outside of myself and look at the lack of seeming 'social graces' as something that i have an opportunity to use to teach kindness, politeness, the golden rule. (and yep! sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't seem to 'work' . .and when it doesn't .. i go right back to my first rule .. don't take it peronsally .. maybe they didn't 'hear' my words .. but i hope in my heart of hearts that at some point .. they will 'remember the love' .. despite their rudeness or thoughtlessness at the moment.
oh' .. 'nuther of my personal 'rooooools' for me ... is honestly to try to not judge what "i" believe to be proper and polite .. i do believe in basic 'kindness' .. but i also recognize that there are so many 'cultures' that teach politeness on different levels ..
maybe i do wear 'rose-colored' glasses and maybe a lack of politeness really is rampant in this olde world of ours .. but oh lordy . i hope i never lose that pair of glasses . .cuz' it sure makes for a happier me.
an tiny example that just happened yesterday: driving through a larger kentucky town yesterday, i came to a red-light .. i stopped and glanced down at a notebook i had to see how much time i had to get home and get a shower, change my clothes, and get out of the house in time for a play we went to last night. WELL .. i musta' sat for an extra 'milli-second' when the light turned green and was honestly shocked when behind me ... a huge and long (and 'seemingly' ANGRY and IMPOLITE): BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT
from the car horn of the woman in the car behind me. i looked up quickly .. and saw that there was a long line of traffic in both lanes AND yet another red light in the VERY NEXT intersection ... and at first thought honestly wondered 'how RUDE .. is this woman RUSHING to get to the next STOP light?' then i wondered if she thought ME rude because i didn't drive off immediately when that light turned green? then i wondered if perhaps she had a bad day at work .. or had heard some disturbing news that made her restless and irritable .. and again .. oh lordy! haven't we all had those moments.
I knew in a flash i had a couple choices here .. i could see HER as 'an impolite olde biddy' and BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT my horn right back at her and angrily point to the red-light and the traffic in front of us ... or i could grab those rose-colored glasses i had sittin' on the dashboard of my car .. put them on and give her a quick friendly wave and "mouth" ... "sooooooooo sorry".
AND it honestly was not as important to me at that moment that "I" soothe her as it was that "I" not continue down that road 'stewing' at her 'seeming' impoliteness.
Now .. i doooooooooooooooo draw the line at 'lack of social graces' and MEAN-SPIRITEDNESS ... and i honestly do put those rosy glasses on several times when i encounter just plain MEANESS .. and if that doesn't work ... off come the ROSE .. and ON go my DARTH VADER glasses .. and i'm comin' to GIT YA!
True Friends, Frannie
CABIN CREEK FARM
KENTUCKY
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| westernhorse51 |
Posted - Oct 27 2006 : 8:01:11 PM
its just plain polite but for some reason people no longer seem to care.
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
| Woodswoman |
Posted - Oct 27 2006 : 5:11:13 PM
What an interesting topic!
I am a 7th grade science teacher,and I make it a point to try to set a good example by using the "Please, Thank you and You are Welcome" to my students. What is funny is the mix I see in these kids-it makes me think it MUST come from home. I have some students that even when I hint at it, have no idea that they should say things like "please" when asking for something (until I remind them directly), but then I also have students who say "Thank you" all of the time-even when I am passing out a test or homework!! I don't think I ever thanked a teacher for giving me a test!!
Jennifer |
| MustangSuzie |
Posted - Oct 27 2006 : 10:09:34 AM
Isn't it a shame that random acts of kindness and basic politeness seem to be a thing of the past for most people. I say please and thank you to people just out of habit that was taught to me as a child, and i've passed that on to my children. It makes me grin when we are at a store and after I pay, my two year old will say thank you to the check out person. And he will keep repeating it until they acknowledge him. I hope that makes them think twice about their manners. |
| asnedecor |
Posted - Oct 27 2006 : 09:13:07 AM
Wow, a lot of good ideas. I do make it a practice to thank people - at the coffee drive thru, people I work with, which by the way when I ask for something to be done they are happy to help me because I acknowledge the help they give. DH thanks people for working on Sundays, he thanks me for doing laundry just like I thank him for mowing the lawn or lifting something heavy for me. We say please and you are welcome and yes I still call my third grade teacher by Mrs. Simon instead of her first name, in fact I don't even know her first name. I am not that old so having manners wasn't that long ago, I think people are just caught up in their own lives and forget that others are people too and need respect.
Mary Ann - you would feel right at home on Lopez Island, WA with the farmer wave. We visit there every couple of years and the locals are known for their wave. So when I am driving around the island I do the couple finger wave off of the steering wheel. Also everyone there is so freindly - it is like a step back in time. That is probably why we always go back.
Anne in Portland
"Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them" Eyeore from Winnie the Pooh
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| jen74145 |
Posted - Oct 27 2006 : 06:24:23 AM
Ohh, girls! As a former daycare worker and waitress/cashier, I so know where you're coming from. I mean, my goodness, it is not that hard to be polite and pleasant! I have to agree, people have no joy anymore, and it really bothers me. You have to wonder just what's happening in this world if people can't even find simple happiness in being given another day... goodness, life is not so tough that you can't find some joy somewhere! I don't know whether to be aggravated with all the casual rudeness, or wonder what is so wrong in those people's lives that they must snarl at and take advantage of everyone they pass. But, that only makes the occasional courteous person such a joy. I don't know, maybe we could smack them with a rolled up newspaper or something...
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| bramble |
Posted - Oct 27 2006 : 06:06:49 AM
I'm with you Marianne, I think we must be the example we want to see reflected around us. I was room Mom every year my son was in elementary school and got to participate with the classes for many activities. Even with the worst behaved child in the room you could see a change in them when they were shown love,kindness and respect.
What you put out in the universe may (or may not) come back to you, but I am not cynical enough to believe that I should ever think a child is a lost cause or stop trying to give a child a chance to grow, whether he be mine or someone else's.
My beef is with this older generation now...it seems like they have not aged gracefully and seriously lack manners and then some!. I can't tell you how many times I have had some able bodied "senior" try to cut into a line somewhere and when politely told where the end of the line was tell me to @#$%^^&**(()! If this person seemed ill or infirm I would suggest that they go ahead, but they are just impatient that there is a line!
The lady that totaled my car (and me almost...) would not acknowledge she did anything wrong in court until the judge YELLED at her and threatened to take her license! Not once did she ever say she was sorry or ever check to see how I was. You all have heard about my neighbors: the ones who throw branches over the fence, run over my water meter and had the illegal pool. They never accept any responsibility for anything they or their family do but we are the "bad" neighbors! Give me kids any day...there's still hope with them!
with a happy heart |
| Mumof3 |
Posted - Oct 27 2006 : 05:51:43 AM
I have made many new friends just by being polite. There is a McDonald's near us, and on yard-sale Friday mornings, it's tradition to stop and get a plain biscuit for breakfast. Well, the woman at the drive-through window started out to be a bit prickly, but we always smiled, said Thank You and chatted with her at the window. Within a few weeks she recognized our voices and knew what we would order! Now, it's like greeting an old friend and I cannot imagine going there and not seeing Esther! The nice thing is that the other people who work that shift know us as well, and we always are greeted warmly. Once politeness sets hold, it's infectious- in a very good way!!:) I hope that my children have learned by now to be polite to anyone they meet. I'm not with them when they are out much anymore, so it's a leap of faith that what they have learned at home is being applied out in public! Mu husband is the worst about saying "Please." and "Thank you." We were at his mother's for dinner one Sunday and he sat at the head of the table and burst out with "Beef!", tapping the table with his knife. The kids all sat there with jaws dropped and I gave him a swift kick under the table. We had quite the discussion on the way home!!! He doesn't do that anymore! ;)
Karin |
| Beemoosie |
Posted - Oct 27 2006 : 04:49:52 AM
I truely agree! Many people do not care for one another, and they pass that to their children and manners are lost. I work in a high school cafeteria, serving lunch. There are some children that thank me no matter WHAT I have to serve them and there are adults that never say please or thank you. So I can't really pinpoint this epidemic on one generation or another. I work with a woman who never wants to be there and takes it out on everyone around her. Maybe that's part of the reason why customer service has gone by the wayside; people have no joy.
No matter what keep up our end ladies!!!! |
| Horseyrider |
Posted - Oct 27 2006 : 04:48:57 AM
LOL! Tasha, I was one of those kids sent off to etiquette classes many years ago because I was much more likely to accept it and learn it from a stranger in the presence of my peers than from my parents. And it was in a posh hotel, too! :-D My parents were neither lazy nor inattentive; they felt the message was important enough to absolutely hammer home until I got it. I still do believe that children learn what they live. I was too cool there for awhile to bother with the niceties of life, but once I got out of my teen years I could appreciate their value.
I do believe it's the nature of the older generation to decry the falling standards of youth. I don't know that the standards are necessarily falling, but that the cultural yardstick is changing and it's different from that which we knew growing up.
Not all kids are failing to learn please and thankyou. I'm delighted to hear it from my grandkids on a regular basis.
There are other phenomena at work here too. I feel that as we get more and more crowded as a society, we begin to take on the self imposed isolation that people have in elevators. It's too intimate in there, so we all look up at the numbers instead of at each other in those close quarters. And there we do not speak. That's why I feel it's worse in cities than in the countryside. Shoot, where I live virtually every single farmer waves at you as you drive by opposite (the 'farmer wave' being a lifting of an index finger off the steering wheel ) but you'd NEVER see that in the suburbs. Out here neighbors really do help neighbors, people care for one another even if they forget their proper manners, and life really is good.
The manners of others is one of those things we can't control; we can only control our own. So why not be a smiling example, and make others feel good by using wonderful manners ourselves? When people feel good around us, they gravitate toward us and imitate us. Make eye contact and smile, and say "Thankyou, I appreciate it." It really is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness. 
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