| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| prariehawk |
Posted - Feb 04 2013 : 3:24:04 PM
I have a co-worker who doesn't like me, reasons unknown. Last week, he took some pictures of me with his cell phone that weren't very flattering. It really upset me. I felt violated. I was so upset that I missed some days of work because I had pounding headaches and was throwing up. I tried to explain things to my supervisor today and she acted like it was no big deal, that I was imagining it. And I know I wasn't. He took the pictures because I had something smeared on my face and didn't realize it. And he's mean. I'm starting to feel like I just can't compete in the workplace anymore. I have a disability and my co-workers know it. I feel like they pick on me and ostracize me because of it. I have a difficult time dealing with people who are mean or aggressive. And I'm afraid it'll be the same story if I go somewhere else. I haven't heard back from my supervisor even though she said she'd contact me. I've been praying to God for peace of mind and the answer I get is "Something will happen". I just pray it's something to my benefit. The workplace is so awful these days. Thanks for letting me vent.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| FieldsofThyme |
Posted - Feb 07 2013 : 06:28:38 AM
Yes that is bullying. My son was bullied in a public school system for over 8 years. And believe me, I know what bullying is. At least now, there is so much more public acknowledgement and more people to rally against it, than when my son was struggling. I will be praying for you and for an end to it.
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| rough start farmgirl |
Posted - Feb 06 2013 : 2:05:04 PM
Cindy, I am glad you were heard and also that you got your helper back. I hope you can gain a sense of safety at work. Being on edge takes so much energy. You must be exhausted at the end of the day. Prayers sent your way.
Marianne |
| prariehawk |
Posted - Feb 06 2013 : 2:04:24 PM
I don't want to get anyone fired. The simple truth is that he's prejudiced against me, even though I've always helped pull supplies for him. Some people are just like that. I don't know why but that's just how some people are. I just don't want him to do it again. He seemed kind of subdued today, so that's a good sign. I still haven't heard anything from the Sister or my supervisors. I tend to believe that prejudice stems from ignorance and ignorance can be overcome with reason and patience. Thanks for all the support, you guys are the best!
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Feb 06 2013 : 12:31:25 PM
Wow, Laura - that is such a good point. I never would have thought of that. Things are very wrong in this world today. Very wrong. Scarey.
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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| crittergranny |
Posted - Feb 06 2013 : 07:15:22 AM
Cindy, I was just thinking that if that guy is being silly and taking pics of you like that he might also be taking pics of the patients in compromising circumstances. Maybe to sell them to some sleezy place. People like that should have their hineys whipped. So many scuzzies out there. Hugs Lorena, I just hate it when rules take the place of people just being responsible and behaving in a decent manner. But sometimes rules have to be made and those of us who are responsible and don't need them have to put up with them. If people would just teach their kids right. And people wouldn't look at or buy sleazy stuff. Sad.
Laura
Horse poor in the boonies.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/CrittergrannysLair
www.creamofthecroptrailrides.webs.com |
| Dorinda |
Posted - Feb 06 2013 : 06:21:14 AM
Oh Cindy, That is so mean. That would upset me also. When I hear these stories I am so glad I work for my DH in his office. From hearing these stories it makes me not ever to want to work out in the world with all these mean people. I am so sorry this happened to you. Can you get him fired some way. I thought it was against the law to take other people's picture with out their permission. That guy sounds like a weirdo...
Seize The Day!
Dorinda |
| HodgeLodge |
Posted - Feb 06 2013 : 04:20:16 AM
I agree with everyone, keep documenting.
Farmgirl #4817-The greatest gift of the garden is the restoration of the five senses. ~Hanna Rion
https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Hodge-Lodge-Clothesline/285366378259342
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| SandraM |
Posted - Feb 06 2013 : 03:27:37 AM
My daughter is working with someone who has blown up at several employees. We think he even did damage to her car. She has complained and the company is worried about a law suit and won't fire him. They are documenting everything but that doesn't help my daugther. She has considered transferring. It is a crazy work place anymore. She went out and bought some Pepper Spray because this man is so unnerving. He is in his 30's and old enough to know better she is 21.
So sorry you are being harassed. It can be very unnerving. I would document everything that happens.
Sandra
www.mittenstatesheepandwool.com |
| prariehawk |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 5:06:38 PM
Our hospital does have a cell phone policy--you can check your phone only while on break. The incident I'm talking about happened during a break. I'm kind of slow to pick up on things sometimes and I didn't realize at the time what my co-worker was doing. But I talked to a professional counselor and he said he knew of nurses who did that sort of thing--he said it was very juvenile, immature behavior but it's just a product of our technological world. I say that if everyone spent as much time and effort pursuing their own dreams as they spend trying to make other people unhappy, the world would be a better place.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 4:48:26 PM
I also grew up with a mentally disabled person as my best friend even though she was older then me. She had a profound effect on my life.
As for cells in the work place for sure, (good if a need-bad if a distraction). I remember one of my last times shopping in NYC and the store clerk just kept on yacking on the phone. And would huff and puff at any question I had for her, and when I asked to check out. Finally all her huffing and puffing about me actually wanting to check out (after I hung around the cash register for a good 20 minutes, trying to get some one to come over and check me out-a TINY store so it wasn't like they couldn't see me!) I finally asked the clerk to come check me out, and she huffed and puffed and then said something snotty about me to the person she was still talking to on the phone (she had been on the phone my entire shopping time!) I said you know what forget it, and put all the clothes on the counter and walked out. It was ridiculous. I said to her that I hope her boss was seeing how much money was in the cash register while she was on duty...and maybe he wouldn't be so happy with her....
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| queenmushroom |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 4:37:17 PM
I can understand if you're working alone ESP.in a dangerous situation. I was referring more to office and other occupations where cells are more of a distraction than a need.
Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie |
| crittergranny |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 3:30:42 PM
Way to go Cindy!
As for cell phone policies I call my hubby several times a day because we are both out in potentially dangerous situations. So we need to keep an eye on each other. He has about a 100 mile radius of gas and oil wells that he has to check alone and has to drive through deep snow and mud to get to many of them all day long and if there were some sort of policy or law that said he can't use his phone it would put him in danger. I say people just need to stop being silly slackers at work and leave it to the individual business owner to make policies if they want I guess, if it's becoming a problem. He checks on me to make sure I haven't gotten kicked in the head and am laying out in the mud getting trampled.
Laura
Horse poor in the boonies.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/CrittergrannysLair
www.creamofthecroptrailrides.webs.com |
| prariehawk |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 2:37:00 PM
Well, I went to work today and found they had given me back my helper in the morning. Which made for a lot less stress. I told them my side of the story and they were going to talk to the other people involved. Haven't heard anything back yet. But at least they're no longer making me do everything by myself. So that's a plus.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
| ptroupe |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 11:02:55 AM
All good advice. Hope things work out. This sounds like a case for the ADA as well.
Hugs,
Portia
Wishing for the country life! |
| queenmushroom |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 09:27:37 AM
You also have protection under the law with your disability. Your employer could be in a world of hurt if something isn't done. Frankly I think there should be a cpolicyin place that prevents employees from using cell phone at work for any reason during the work day with breaks being excluded. Yes, in this day, cells are a God send, but they have there place. My rule with family is that unless someone is dead dying or bleeding, don't call me at work. If you need me to pick up something or do someone after work then call during my last hour then keep it brief 2 minutes or less.
Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 08:19:00 AM
Ceejay, I've never understood how people can be so cruel. My mother's favorite cousin, Mary, was mentally disabled and I grew up playing with her (even though she was my mom's age). And later, I taught adults with Downs and other disabilities life skills and I loved each and every day I was with my students. I guess I was just raised better than most folks, because I was never allowed to see them as weird or different, I was taught to see them as gifts.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
| ceejay48 |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 08:13:33 AM
AMEN and AMEN!!! Can't agree more and going through the channels in proper order is important and documentation of EVERYTHING is essential!
I will be praying!
CJ
P.S. I have a 39 year-old son with Down Syndrome and I could tell you horror story after horror story. However, his older sister and I were/are REALLY GOOD at the "look". We can give "looks" that cause people to shrink and run away. I know, that's not the solution but it helps on some level . . I'm one "battle scarred" mom of a developmentally disabled son!
..from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665.
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| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 06:54:13 AM
Yes, it's bullying. It's a hostile work environment, AND, you could have a nice lawsuit against your supervisor and company if they continue to be complacent. The disability act provides that you are able to work in a worry free environment (actually, we all are given that opportunity).
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
| magnoliakathy |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 06:22:39 AM
Start a paper trail, document everything, even this latest solution from you supervisor. Full names, dates, times, details, I have had to do this in the past and when you have to go to people higher up the chain of command, these details will support your case, no it does not make you sound like a whiney child, but an informed adult. Also, when your co-workers find out you are documenting, the good people won't care because they don't have to worry about getting on your "list" and the bad ones will either hang themsleves or give you a wide berth. Never give up the original, make copies and give then when asked. After it became known that I was documenting, there was some good-natured teasing from my working friends, stares and some people leaving the room when I came in. Good luck
When you free your mind your heart can fly. Farmgirl # 714, |
| crittergranny |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 05:37:04 AM
Sounds positive. I will send up a prayer for you right now.
Laura
Horse poor in the boonies.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/CrittergrannysLair
www.creamofthecroptrailrides.webs.com |
| prariehawk |
Posted - Feb 04 2013 : 8:04:55 PM
I finally heard back from my boss--she said it would be discussed when I go back to work tomorrow. I have a feeling something happened cause it was late when she called back and she was still at work. And she's never there that late. The only person who seemed to take me seriously was one of the Sisters and I know she definitely doesn't want any trouble for the hospital. I talked to someone else and he said this type of thing goes on more than people realize. I don't want to leave my job but I could probably get back on disability if I really needed to. Only I've been there before and didn't like it. So we'll see how tomorrow goes. I'm the type of person who tends to let stress build up so when it comes out, it makes people uneasy. I also can't stand it when people lie, which often works against me. Pray for me, sisters, and I'll be strong. God bless you all.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
| crittergranny |
Posted - Feb 04 2013 : 7:30:09 PM
Maybe you can have a lawyer send a letter to this person. I don't know people perplex me sometimes. I'm happier hanging out with my animals..lol. I am sooo sorry you are going through this Cindy. I wish I could be there for you. We could stick out our tounges at him after he walks by or something. Maybe your lawyer could demand that he either delete the pics or turn over his phone. There are laws concerning photographs but I don't know what they are in your state. I do know how you feel. My daughter has mild cerebral palsy and is slightly learning disabled. But it was so mild that people wouldn't treat it as a disability but just treat her as a lower form of life or something. Also it has never been legally documented and she does not get benefits or anything. She works on the ranch now and trains horses and grooms dogs, but she used to live in town and work at petco and then at petsmart and she would get treated so badly. I wanted to get hold of some of those people out behind the building. She is very sweet and gentle but they didn't have a clue how the rest of her family is, lucky for them...grrrr. If you are legally disabled you may be able to get after them on those grounds. I mean discrimination towards a disabled person is bad news for a workplace. You also may be able to get benefits like SSI and not have to work. A lot of people are on SSI that don't really need it but maybe you do Sweetie if it is causing you that amount of anxiety.
Laura
Horse poor in the boonies.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/CrittergrannysLair
www.creamofthecroptrailrides.webs.com |
| Joey |
Posted - Feb 04 2013 : 7:17:17 PM
First, take a DEEP breath. Now,I agree with my sisters. This is not right. He took YOUR picture and he has no right to that without your permission. I would make sure I wrote down when it happened, when and what you told him, when and what you told your supervisor, what your supervisor told you. I would make sure thatI took that toHRwhen you go and I would write down who I spoke to and when and what was said by you and HR. You may also need a lawyer, but I would start there. Keep notes.
AND know that we are here for you. You can always vent here. Know that we support you. Keep us posted. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
| shanda |
Posted - Feb 04 2013 : 7:07:56 PM
I agree. Go to the next level manager, until you are heard.
Shanda
Farmgirl #4233 |
| nubidane |
Posted - Feb 04 2013 : 6:31:48 PM
HR, & let them know you have a lawyer on stand by
"We must reject the idea that every time a law’s broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.” – R.R. |
