| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Mar 18 2012 : 7:24:29 PM
I haven't said much about it on here, but the past year has been pretty rough for me.
In 2010 my job was outsourced and I planned to go back to school. I've always wanted to study history, and I found a museum studies program where I could earn a certificate online and then go on to get a full master's degree.
Unfortunately, shortly after I started classes my husband had to leave his job due to disability (he's been diagnosed with PTSD--not a combat veteran, it's a whole story in itself but not one that I feel comfortable sharing). His doctor told him that he'd be eligible for disability pay and would have the time he needed to get himself back together...but that turned out not to be true. At the end of February, we were looking at no income at all and losing our health insurance.
So I had to give up my dream of taking time off to study and get back to looking for work ASAP. Fortunately I was offered the second job I interviewed for and I'll be back to work tomorrow. It's a civil service job with the county. I guess I should be thrilled, but...
Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely relieved that we'll have some money coming in again and of course the all-mighty health insurance.
But I can't help but see this as a setback...like I'm going back to the salt mine after a brief glimpse of fresh air. The job pays a little less than what I was making before, which is understandable. But my old income was half of our household...now it's going to be everything. And it's a much less professional job, basically customer service: on your feet all day, punching out to use the bathroom, no phone or internet access. And worst of all...well, dang it all , for just a minute there it really seemed like I was going to get my turn to improve myself and pursue something that mattered to me.
I guess I could use some encouragement. I want to start this new job with the best possible attitude, do super work and hopefully that will lead to a happy long-term career. But I'm not looking forward to starting all over at the bottom again and putting in that time. I'm not getting any younger here, after all.
Well, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Now to bed. Yikes, I'm going to be working tomorrow at an hour that I haven't even been awake for lately! |
| 8 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Joey |
Posted - Mar 20 2012 : 3:42:55 PM
Annie, sneding you hugs and warm wishes. I know this is hard, and not what you planned, but you are a MJF FARMGIRL and you will get through this. So glad you are continuing with your classes. Thinking of you at work today. Hang in there. We're here if you need us. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Mar 19 2012 : 5:31:25 PM
Thanks, guys. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who's been in this position. I do intend to keep taking my online courses. That's actually one of the worst parts of this situation. I've been working for months on a project as an internship with a local museum. I'm basically responsible for planning a whole exhibit, due to open in June. Because of delays at the museum (construction of new building) the exhibit is finally just starting to come together. After months of putting me off, suddenly the curator and director want results and decisions immediately...and now, of all times, I can't be there!
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| Farmtopia |
Posted - Mar 19 2012 : 12:42:31 PM
I think Jonni is onto something. Is there no way to complete the online course anyhow, since it's online? Or transfer out to another, similar, online endeavor?
Even taking a few online classes or weekend classes that end in some sort of certificate might help. My last office job (7 years ago!) was a bummer, and the only thing keeping my head above water sometimes was to take interesting and fun classes (not in any degreed subject, mind you, but fun crafting type classes) that let me express some sort of creative outlet 
All the best to you!
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| Bear5 |
Posted - Mar 19 2012 : 08:48:07 AM
Amie. Never let go of your dreams. Where there's a will, there's a way. Prayers to you.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| knitnpickinatune |
Posted - Mar 19 2012 : 08:43:28 AM
Amie-you hang in there and cowgirl up. I've been in very similar situations job and dream career wise,and have also dealt with the disability folks- I had a severely broken compound fracture lower right leg 10 yrs ago, Dr gave the same freaking promise,and the disability board stated "as you don't die from a broken leg,we're denying you benefits" I couldn't work,needed a 2nd operation as the 1st used the wrong procedure,ended up with a titanium rod being permanently implanted (had to rebreak the leg in 3 places to do this)it was like being sent back to square one. On top of that my mom had passed at the same time and I had to move from TX to CA as I was staying with her to take care of her-it was also supposed to be a "new start" for me after I divorced which had turned into a nightmare. While I was very grateful to move back home with Dad,I was devastated that I had went from having my own apt,living as a married woman,job,social circle,the whole bit you expect as an adult & it was swept away quicker than I ever dreampt it could be. And no financial aid available from the gov't tho I paid into the system. Very dark times. I didn't realise it,but I had went into a pretty bad depression tho I held up in front of family.
Look at this new job as a "stepping stone" to where you want to get to,and also consider other options. Money coming in takes a lot of pressure off,and frees you up to dream & make plans. Your hubby may need a lawyer-as I found out,all disability applicants need a lawyer to represent them because the disability board specializes in saying "NO".
Continue to dream and make your plans. Your plans may change,you may come up with a new idea you want to pursue,the job may be something to help you till the opportunity you want opens up for you-I never dreampt I'd have an online business-which wouldn't have happened had I not went thru my personal tunnel.
The wages may be lower than you're accustomed to (the part time job I'm at hasn't given a raise to anyone in over 5 years) but let that spur you on to greater thinga. Sounds like a home business could be great for you. Things will improve- that glimpse of fresh air will turn into a permanent view-don't give up. (((HUGS))) We're here to give you a leg up if need be!
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mando pickin,uke strummin,banjo pickin, & fiddle sawin' Farmgirl #702 |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Mar 19 2012 : 07:32:01 AM
Amie, I'm so sorry--you and I both similar in age (and in dreams). I know exactly where you are--torn between feeling grateful to be given a job and then just...well, like you said, bummed out because you can't do the work you WANT to do. My husband has always been in the restaurant industry, and I've always had the "main, steady job" and never felt that I could do other work, work I'd truly love and enjoy--and after 11 years at one job, it can really wear you down, but I feel, and I'm sure you do, too, a little bit penned in. It's not that you resent your husband, but life is just too short to spend it kooked up doing something you marginally tolerate, or worse, flat out hate.
I'm cheering you on--is there any way, since the course is online, that you might be able to complete in your own time? A co-worker here, has just graduated with her B.A. from an online school and she's been working online, but still working here each day and it's really given her a new shine, I'll tell you, regardless of how tired she is from studying, working, managing the house, etc.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
| rough start farmgirl |
Posted - Mar 19 2012 : 04:41:49 AM
Amie,
We, too, have had some major setbacks in the last few years. You get to have your days of "Why don't I get a break?" and "I hate my life." I know you won't wallow in them, though, because you realize that you do have reason to be thankful. After all, a job is what you do to have a life. I think there are few of us who just love our jobs. My dh always says, "that's why they are called jobs."
Don't feel bad that you aren't thrilled with the job. You will find the silver lining and you are gonna do what you have to do because that is the type of person you are!
Best of luck, I'll be thinking of you today!
Marianne
Let us know how you are doing ;;; |
| Alee |
Posted - Mar 18 2012 : 7:36:14 PM
Amie- We have been in very similar circumstances in the past. *Hugs* I know how tough it can be and how disheartening. Right when you see the light at the end of the tunnel you find out it was just a reflection in a puddle and the end is no where near and now your shoes are wet too. Don't give up! Keep your feelers out there. Keep looking for that job or maybe take one class towards your degree ever semester. Just keep striving and keep your mental eye on what your really want to attain. I truly believe that if we stay concentrated on our goal, our subconscious helps us find links and networking to achieve that end goal. I believe in you. I know that some day this will just be one of those "character building" episodes in your life. *hugs* I hope things get better for you soon!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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