| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Dec 04 2011 : 07:37:13 AM
My paternal grandparents both died this year, 4 months apart. My sister and her family are (just this weekend) moving into the old family house where they lived for more than 60 years. So there was a lot of packing up and clearing out to do.
Because I've been unemployed and my parents are crazy busy, I've done a lot of the actual packing and moving. This has been a really bittersweet experience. On the one hand, I love my grandparents' house. It was an oasis of order and beauty in my crazy childhood. And nothing ever changed, at least not during my lifetime. I think Grandma achieved the final perfect arrangement of furniture around 1970 and then left it exactly the same for the rest of her life!
And now I'm the one to dismantle it--I feel like a barbarian sacking Rome, or Godzilla crushing Tokyo. But on the other hand, I've gotten to spend a lot of time in the old house, finding old photos I'd never seen and objects I'd forgotten all about.
Yesterday my dad asked me to go up to the house and pack up grandpa's office. It was so sad to see his desk calendar open to July, where he'd marked all the upcoming family birthdays (he died in early July). And his crossword puzzle magazine for July, half completed.
When I was locking up to leave, I realized that this was the last time I would visit Grandma and Grandpa's house--starting today, it's my sister's house. |
| 14 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Dec 05 2011 : 05:52:48 AM
We're all hoping the house will stay in the family...the outcome isn't entirely clear. The estate is still in the probate period, so there's a chance that some caregiving organization will submit a bill (like Medicaid--my grandparents needed some home healthcare services in the last two years). If it's a huge bill, my dad would need to sell the house to pay it. But the probate lawyer is optimistic that anything like that would have shown up already. |
| Lanna |
Posted - Dec 05 2011 : 02:25:31 AM
I'm so sorry, it has to be rough.
What I think is great is that the house that has all those memories? Gets to stay in the family.
My cousin and her husband and children bought that grandparents' house, my widowed uncle and his new wife bought the other grandparents' house. They all did new things to the floor (one set of grandparents had installed shag carpeting over amazingly beautiful oak flooring!), got rid of popcorn ceilings, and have different furniture arrangements. But it's so, so nice knowing that there are people in those houses that are so near and dear to my heart that care for the houses as much as we do. One of these days when my kids aren't so grabby at everything we'll get to do a road trip and visit everyone. 
*****************
Lanna, homeschooling mama to four little monkeys that still try to jump on the bed |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Dec 04 2011 : 8:56:03 PM
Melody, I hope they would have been happy. And even more so, I hope all members of my family who are still here are ok with it. We are all close, but there's a lot that doesn't get said openly.
Nicole, you're going to make me cry now! Yes, the particular smell of a house is so special. I've got a dresser that belonged to my grandmother on the other side and it's got this odd musty smell inside the drawers that just brings back the image of Grandma Betty's house. It's not a smell I'd want to get into my clothes, but how can I clean it away? I'm using that dresser strictly for keeping old family keepsakes in.
One of the things I truly regret is that my family never had a video camera. After my grandfather's funeral, my dad said, "You know, I'm trying to remember what his voice sounded like and even though it's only been a few days I can't quite recapture it in my mind." You just never know when someone who's always been there will suddenly be gone. |
| FarmDream |
Posted - Dec 04 2011 : 8:50:11 PM
This post reminded me of several memories. I have my mother's diary and we always laugh about the one day she decided she was going to become a rebel. No one knows why it only lasted one day. The next day was filled with regular stuff. When my Granny died I had to go pack her house. She passed away in the hospital. I spent the night in her bed just to try and remember her smell. She smelled like hugs and a warm oven. I've kept so many of her things. It was sad to pack it all up and at times I'd come across something funny, like finding out she really liked paper. That lady had a gazillion thank you notes and notepads. Now I write in journals in the hope that one day there will be a relative wanting to know what life was like or to find out who I was.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
| melody |
Posted - Dec 04 2011 : 8:13:13 PM
I think your grandparents would have loved the fact that you took care of packing things up at the house. I know I would want someone who cared about me doing just that. I used to work for an auction house and I was always very careful and respectful when handling an estate. It always made me feel as if I was an "intruder" when I stumbled across birthday cards or a much loved sweater or handbag especially taking care of an estate where there weren't any close relatives to go through it first. So Amie it was good that you were the one there, I am sure of it. And also good in the sense that you were given the time to reflect and remember what it was like at the house. How very lucky to have your sister move into the old home place now and that it won't go to strangers!
Melody
Farmgirl #525 |
| texdane |
Posted - Dec 04 2011 : 4:45:41 PM
Oh Amie,
You brought me to tears also. What a beautiful, bittersweet post. But please be thankful for what you are getting to do. You see, I didn't know the last time I saw any of my grandparents it was the last time. I never got to go back to their homes. I can close my eyes and still see and smell their homes. I was a child when I lost my dad's parents, and then my grandpa on my mom's side died, and then I moved away. My grandmother later moved herself, so I never got to go "back to grandma's house". She died unexpectedly, and I can still hear her beautiful voice the last time I spoke to her. I am so sorry for your loss. You sound like you come from such a beautiful, close family.
Farmgirl Hugs,
Nicole
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE
Chapter Leader, Connecticut Simpler Life Sisters
Suburban Farmgirl Blogger
http://sfgblog.maryjanesfarm.org/ |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Dec 04 2011 : 3:41:47 PM
Sorry, guys...I didn't mean to make anybody cry! But it's nice to know other people have been in the same situation. My sister didn't have a lot of furniture (they'd been living with her in-laws for several years) so many of G&G's household furnishings are staying right there, and I know she's planning to use their Christmas decorations right away. And some things have been passed on. In fact, I'm sitting at grandma's dining room table here at my own house as I write this.
One really neat thing about this house is that it's been home to multiple generations of my family. It was divided into three apartments, and when I was born there were four generations living in the house at once: my great-grandmother at the top of the house, my great-parents on the second floor, and my parents and me on the ground level. Furniture got passed around over the years. It's neat to see old photos of my grandmother and her sisters gathered around the kitchen table that I remember from our apartment when I was little. And that table is still in the house! It makes it easier to see this as just one more transition in the house's long history. |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Dec 04 2011 : 2:20:38 PM
Amie, I so understand how you're feeling. My mom's side of the family is almost all gone, save one sister, all in this little town called Grove City, where I spent the happiest days of..well, my days. When my Great Aunt passed, I handled her affairs and I felt like some sort of voyeur going through her personal belongings. Bless her, she saved everything. Every card that anyone had given her for any old reason, plus every Christmas card since she graduated in 1921. It was bittersweet--and it was also so interesting to get to "know" my aunt as a younger woman, and then as a married woman who struggled with her husband's infidelities and wrote secret unsent letters to him, shut up in books that I found so many years later. Just think, you do get to visit that house again, and it will be full of your family again, minus of course, the matriarch and patriarch. I do hope your sister keeps them "there" somehow, using her linens for Christmas, perhaps, or her flatware. I just so know where you are and I'm sending you love across the miles. It's so difficult to lose your grands at once.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
| Nancy Gartenman |
Posted - Dec 04 2011 : 1:53:13 PM
Amie,
I know how that feels, you described it perfect. I have had to do the same thing more then once and its like you shouldn't be there looking at all someone elses things, but then better a family member that loved them, then a stranger. I would keep that calendar if I could, it can remind you or someone in your family of the Birthdays in Grandpa's writting. The good thing is you can always go back to that house that held all those happy times because its still in the family.
www.Nancy-Jo.blogspot.com |
| laurentany |
Posted - Dec 04 2011 : 12:04:50 PM
Oh Ladies,
I can so totally relate to this. I was fortunate enough to grow up living right next door to my grandparents. My parents divorced when I was 9 years old, so needless to say my granparents were my rock! I lost my grandmother back in 1992, and my dear grandpa just last January ( he lived to the ripe old age of 98 1/2!!)grandpa "sold" his house to my half borther about 10 years ago and was living with my dad since.I am not really close with my half brother, we see each other once in a while, but the connection is not there.
My half brother is part of a "younger generation" who just doesnt seem to think that "things" have any sentimental value. I have literally driven past and picked things out of the garbage that he and his wife were throwing out- yet I look at them and recall so may happy memories. I drive past the house and see the way there is no regard for all that my grandparents worked so hard for and cherished for so many years. Just about 3 weeks ago my sister in law had a papmered chef party and invited me. I have to admit that part of my reason for going was simply to see the inside of the house (which I hadnt seen in at least 5-6 years). Well, I came home and said to my husband...."Let's just say that grandpa has left the building!". It was sad, yet I know that I will always have all of the precious memories in my heart, and nothing can ever change that!
Blessings to all of you who have gone through this experience.
~Laurie
"Little Hen House on the Island"
Farmgirl Sister#1403
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. |
| sonshine4u |
Posted - Dec 04 2011 : 11:45:15 AM
Sending you hugs through cyberland...it's so hard to lose Grandparents and then have to sort through their life. My last grandparent died this summer, in July, and it's still so fresh. Seeing all those things that were part of your normal everyday life as a child, the things that were always there, the grandparents that seemed constant through your entire life. Lots of emotions flooding my mind right now. Know that you are not alone in this process and it's okay to cry when you feel it coming on. I'm crying right now! LOL! It's hard to let go of the house and what was the norm. Thankfully the house is staying in your family. It'll be different, but at least you know who's filling it with love again! :)
God's Blessings to you and your family,
April
Playing in the Sonshine
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| Sue Feely |
Posted - Dec 04 2011 : 11:15:18 AM
Amie - I am kind going through the same thing right now also! My MIl passed this past April; she died suddenly in the hospital though she was quite ill, may husband and I moved into her home while we remodel and fix our own home (probably for a couple of years), anyway, everything is still intact, everything, furniture, closets and cubbyholes. I am constantly finding things that remind me of long ago...recently in cleaning out the pantry, I found an old can of playdoh thats my kids used 20+ years ago! Sweet memories! |
| Penny Wise |
Posted - Dec 04 2011 : 08:34:19 AM
i can only imagine. my inlaws house was sold yesterday-there was an estate sale fridaay and saturday and the house now belongs to someone else...i divorced their son in 1999 but they remained MY inlaws! dad passed in august -mom a few years ago...anyhow; my kids (all grown) are going thru very similar emotions right now and i hurt because i am not there to comfort them.
bless you for your part in this and for your memories!
Farmgirl # 2139
proud member of the Farmgirls of the Southwest Henhouse
~*~ counting my pennies and biding my time; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
| sherrye |
Posted - Dec 04 2011 : 07:57:57 AM
well i had not planned on crying. well i am. it is a bittersweet experience. hugs to you. i love my man so much. i pray we go together or that soon after. bless you for the respect you have for us old folks lives and homes. i hope my kids will feel as you do. love and hugs. its a fine thing that family still has the home. sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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