| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| JessieMae |
Posted - Oct 02 2011 : 1:07:14 PM
I'll be turning 35 in December, and it has me feeling pretty depressed. I mean, 35 seems OLD. 33 was still young. 34 felt older. 35 is just OLD.
For the first time, I'm starting to feel old. My knees crack when I stand up. My jaw pops when I eat chewy food. A day of hard labor = a day of aspirin and my rocking chair.
I'm also starting to look old. My pores are bigger. My face is doughier. I've got these few wild, silvery, wiry hairs growing out of my temples. Even my feet look different; they look more angular and mannish, somehow.
Adding to my depression, I'm sure, is harsh light that 35 casts on the remainder of my life. The odds of conceiving a biological child are astronomically high now, so one dream is dying. Similarly, my dreams of owning a farm, hiking the Appalachian Trail, earning another degree, starting a career, and slimming down are fading fast.
What did turning 35 do to you? Was it just another birthday? Was it the beginning, end, or somewhere in the middle for you?
Jessie Mae
Farmgirl Sisterhood #134 |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Wildcrafter |
Posted - Nov 12 2011 : 5:24:09 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Bellepepper
Time to put on your big girl panites ladies. I am 72 and still do everything I ever did. Slower mind you, but the same things. Every year the garden tiller gets heaver and it takes me 2 days to make a batch of salsa. But last summer I canned potatoes and chicken for the first time. I always grow a new vegetable in the garden and take at least 20 things to the county fair. Every winter gets colder and every summer gets hotter. You conpensate. The bad thing about being older is all those kids. Three kids all married, 12 grand kids, half of them married and 9 great grandkids (and one on the way), Makes for a big crowded and expensive Christmas.
Belle
You're my kind of woman, Ms. Belle!
----------------------------------------------------------
Cedar Mountain Herb School and Botanicals
www.cedarmountainherbs.com
Become a fan! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cedar-Mountain-Herb-School/199194060117277
|
| levisgrammy |
Posted - Nov 12 2011 : 2:02:37 PM
Oh my goodness, I didn't realize that I am old at 49 or that 35 is considered middle age. Here I thought I was still young and almost middle age. :D I have longevity in my family. My great uncle was 105 and I have another uncle who is presently 94 and and aunt who is 91. My parents are still living, they are only in their 80's. I have never thought of myself as old even though I have been through menopause already.
As for children, I know women in their forty's who have had children. My sister didn't have her first till she was 37. She chose that he would be her only one though. Our Pastor's wife who is in her mid 40's has a year old baby same as my middle daughter who is 28. My goodness there is plenty to do. Life is hardly over for you or even on the downside yet. It's not over till it's over and I am living it to the fullest until then. We were given life to enjoy and each new season has its new beginnings! Personally, I have been thinking about school again. :)
farm girl sister#43
http://www.ladybugsandlilacs.blogspot.com/
O, a trouble's a ton or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it!
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only--how did you take it?
--Edmund C. Vance.
|
| Farmer Judy |
Posted - Nov 12 2011 : 10:55:11 AM
35 can be the newest chapter of your life. I got married to my husband at 32 and had my first child at 36 and second at 38. I have had new careers start and parents die. 35 is what you make it. You can start your own new chapter, meet new friends, start new hobbies, have more children, it's not too late. Make a new promise to yourself to take care of yourself better, eat healthier and execise. You have your whole life ahead of you. Good luck
God bless,
Judy
Born a city girl but a farm girl at heart!
http://farmtimes.blogspot.com/ |
| Bellepepper |
Posted - Nov 12 2011 : 10:10:18 AM
Time to put on your big girl panites ladies. I am 72 and still do everything I ever did. Slower mind you, but the same things. Every year the garden tiller gets heaver and it takes me 2 days to make a batch of salsa. But last summer I canned potatoes and chicken for the first time. I always grow a new vegetable in the garden and take at least 20 things to the county fair. Every winter gets colder and every summer gets hotter. You conpensate. The bad thing about being older is all those kids. Three kids all married, 12 grand kids, half of them married and 9 great grandkids (and one on the way), Makes for a big crowded and expensive Christmas.
Belle |
| homsteddinmom |
Posted - Nov 12 2011 : 05:24:09 AM
Age is just a number, if you want to claim that number its up to you, but just because the calendar says you are 35 doesnt mean you have to be!
Homesteading Mom in East Texas. Raising chickens, Rabbits and goats here on my farm! |
| knitnpickinatune |
Posted - Nov 11 2011 : 09:13:23 AM
If 35 is old then if I choose to believe that,I'm doomed. I'm 48. 
I got divorced at 35,my mom came abruptly back into my life and I moved out of state. It was a very turbulant,upsetting,and a time I would never want to re-live. However- the age itself never bothered me,it was the events and the fact that for the most part,I was not in control.
That being said,yes,I have the signs of aging too-my hands look older,I'm getting a "waddle" under my chin,my nose is bigger,I have wirely gray hairs all over my head,and I no longer have the super slim figure I sported in my 20's. And I gained a titanium rod in my lower right leg from a very bad fall in water.
But you know what? It's just physical. That's it. Who we are and how we choose to feel determines an awful lot-including how we look. Last night on the news a health reporter was talking how the simple act of smiling and having an upbeat personality takes years off the face. One of my Cowgirl books quotes a cowgirl who said something like "if you have a spunky,upbeat personality people won't care about how old you are" Nor will they guess correctly-many people guess me to be in my late 30's to very early 40's.
If we want to live a long time,the simple fact is we're going to get old but just physically. That's it. Remember the heart and mind are ageless,and how "old" you decide to be is really up to you. 
http://www.mandolinbabe.net
http://www.fiddlebelle.com
http://www.celticcowgirl.me
@MandolinChick on Twitter
mando pickin,uke strummin,dulcimer playin & fiddle sawin' Farmgirl #702 |
| JessieMae |
Posted - Nov 09 2011 : 2:21:45 PM
Well - inspired by you all - I made a few changes, and I'm feeling a little better.
I treated myself to a new hairstyle, which provided a surprisingly effective self-esteem boost. It motivated me to get up in the morning and spend some time on my appearance, and when I look good, I feel good. Wearing grubby sweats is like an invitation to lay on the couch, whereas 'real' clothes make me want to get out and about.
I also realized that I was caught up in a unhealthy cycle of being depressed, overindulging in sugar, then having a sugar crash and ending up more depressed, and so on and so on. So I cut sugar out of my diet. I'm just now starting to get back to equilibrium, but already I can tell the difference.
And I really did some soul searching about the whole baby thing and found some positives hidden among the negatives. Never having a baby isn't all bad: I've been able to live in places that were really exciting but totally inappropriate for kids (like a loft apartment in a converted warehouse in the Cleveland Flats), I've been able to move whenever I got wanderlust, I've been able to drink beer and watch 'R' rated movies in the living room whenever I wanted.... In exchange for having a baby, I had an awful lot of fun instead. I'd kind of forgotten that part.
I'm also trying to change my point of view so I don't equate growing older with approaching 'the end' of something.
Jessie Mae
Farmgirl Sisterhood #134 |
| Wildcrafter |
Posted - Nov 09 2011 : 07:32:35 AM
Ok, JessieMae. How are you doing?
----------------------------------------------------------
Cedar Mountain Herb School and Botanicals
www.cedarmountainherbs.com
Become a fan! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cedar-Mountain-Herb-School/199194060117277
|
| Annab |
Posted - Nov 09 2011 : 03:56:49 AM
41 and still wearing sizes 8 and 6. (althought gravity has taken over a little)
Don't let it get you down in the least...........it will if you let it and if you STOP moving, you will
Keep poppin' whatever pain meds it takes to keep you moving and get out there. |
| lilwing |
Posted - Nov 08 2011 : 7:11:55 PM
Nope, you can still have a child at even 37 or 39 .. It's possible these days if you are basically healthy. I'm 31, 32 in March... SHUSH !! LOL.
~~~~
Proud Farmgirl #775
http://honeybrookefarm.blogspot.com
|
| Annika |
Posted - Oct 24 2011 : 10:55:37 AM
Oh goodness Jessie, don't go feelin' old just yet!You have most of your life ahead of you still! I had to think a minute to remember what I was doing at 35. I was still very much a goth-punk (still am in many ways =P) I had purple and black hair and worked in an indie music shop =) I'm 51 now and most days never think about my age. Except for an arthritic knee and lousy eyesight, I think of myself as a much younger woman. You need to make sure that you learn to love yourself as you are at whatever age. Life is a canvas and experience, sorrow and joy are the paints, You are the artist of your own life. As you continue the natural progress of your life, you need to become more and more attuned to your body and it's needs. Celebrate 35! Take yourself out to a fancy lunch! Do something that you've always wanted to do. Be alive in the moment!
Luv and hugs!
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
http://thegimpyfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
http://pinterest.com/annikaloveshats/
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
|
| texdane |
Posted - Oct 24 2011 : 10:37:08 AM
Okay, I'm turning 40 soon. I remember my parents having these awful "Over The Hill" Parties when I was a kid. When I turned 35, I got the little pot belly I had lost at puberty that I had as a kid. My hair is greying, I get arthritic...but you know what? SO what! Think about it...can't stop a birthday and the alternative is a lot worse! Stop worrying about aging. There's other things you CAN control to worry about, right? Do something really nice for yourself on your birthday. Sending farmgirl hugs...
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE
Chapter Leader, Connecticut Simpler Life Sisters
Suburban Farmgirl Blogger
http://sfgblog.maryjanesfarm.org/ |
| knittingmom |
Posted - Oct 10 2011 : 5:12:14 PM
35 is so not old neither is my 39. I feel much more comfortable with myself at this age and am glad that the early 20s are over with.
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world"
"The things that matter most are not really things after all" |
| Dorinda |
Posted - Oct 08 2011 : 5:54:57 PM
Jessie you are so young........Don't fret yet. I loved my 30,s and 40,s. And now here I am 50!
I became a Grandma this past year that did not turn out so well for me. I lost my grandson when he was 8 months old. She ran away with him. But I am surviving the situation. Just remember God will never give us more than we can handle. I know I will see him one day again. Anyways you have so much life in front of you. Enjoy everyday and moment of it. Do not let any one still your joy for one second of your life. My MIL is 84 yrs. old and still drives , Volunteers, and would still be mowing her own yard if my DH would let her. She is a jokester and loves to laugh. She saids the secret to life is to never sit down that once you sit down it is over. She has an identical twin sister who lives in Nevada. She flys out there all by herself to visit her. She is a hoot! She still gets out and weeds her flower beds and works like the dickens in her yard. I can't keep up with her. My great grandmother lived to be 106 yrs. old. She lived by herself on a ranch until she was 102 and then she moved in with my grandmother. Life is what you make of it so don't get depressed because that is not good for your health or mind. Celebrate your life every day. So Happy Birthday to you. Cheers! Do something fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seize The Day!
Dorinda |
| Wildcrafter |
Posted - Oct 08 2011 : 5:26:11 PM
Oh JessieMae. You're gonna be fine, honey. I'm 51 (and a half! ha ha). Thirties were when I really decided who I was and my forties helped me to get to the woman I am today. I buried my mother at 45. Went through 2 divorces in my forties. 30s? Piece of cake! 40's were quite the ride and to tell you the truth, I was never happier to close that chapter and move into my 50s. So far, I've been loving my 50s! I have lots of grey hair and get compliments all the time...not just from women, but from men which really has surprised me. I never was able to conceive and that is a grief, however, I have many students who call me mom, one of my farmers market helpers brought her 8 week old daughter to the market today for me to hold. I'm little Olive's 3rd Grandma. I'm also a 3rd Grandma to a student's little 5 month old boy as well. I am blessed in so many ways. My advice to you is to count your blessing each and every day. The more you do this, the smaller the black cloud gets until it's gone. Do service for others. Love and let people love you. As you get older, you settle down. Sure, there are aches and pains - I'm feeling some right now - sure, there are bumps in the road and tragedies. BUT! You keep on living and moving forward. You just don't know the destiny God has for you and the doors He's opening even right now. All is well, my darling. All is well.
----------------------------------------------------------
Cedar Mountain Herb School and Botanicals
www.cedarmountainherbs.com
Become a fan! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cedar-Mountain-Herb-School/199194060117277
|
| smiley |
Posted - Oct 08 2011 : 5:21:39 PM
Amen Kathleen |
| NixKat |
Posted - Oct 06 2011 : 1:50:02 PM
Jessie you are so young.... and according to Women's Health magazine, women born after 1970 have a life expectancy of 80.8 years, that means officially you won't be middle aged for another 5 years. Like many of the other ladies I was too busy to notice the birthdays fly by, the only ones I paid attention to were the "tens" and that was to celebrate that I had arrived at that certain age. Before 35, I was busy raising 3 little girls and going to college at night. At 37 there was an oops! and I became a grandmother! I was, and still am glad to be young enough to play with my grand-kids. At 39 I decided to lose weight and get fit, and go back to school. At 41, I graduated college and my youngest graduated high-school. At 46, back to school for a new subject and job. At age 50 I met this really handsome guy at work and I thought to myself, oh man, if only I were 15 years younger. Turned out my age didn't matter to him, he was 37 and all the women at the office were trying to get his attention. We have been together since 2001 and married for 7 years. Next May I finally get to file for my pension, I will be 62.
Except for my babies, all the best events of my life happened after age 35. Please, don't be so busy worrying about the birthdays, they will keep coming no matter how much you grieve and because you will miss out on all the fun you could be having.
Another "old lady" having the time of her life! Enjoy life and your day!
{{{hugs}}}
Kathleen...... Farmgirl Sister #3447 |
| smiley |
Posted - Oct 06 2011 : 05:43:32 AM
30 was my hard one. I had a head trip over leaving my 20's. This Feb. I turn the big 50 and ma actually thinking it funny that I can get AARP. I plan on getting every discount offered a "senior" even if my mind tells me I am 25. There is a bible verse that says though our outward man perishes our inward man is renewed daily. Thats me! Have a great day ladies! |
| birdie71 |
Posted - Oct 05 2011 : 9:04:46 PM
I am Ceejay's daughter. I will be turning 40 this coming Sunday and I am SOOO thrilled!!! I have watched many lovely women (and men) older than me and I am just amazed at them. I see my getting older as a thrilling ride! I see getting older as exciting because with age comes privileges! I look forward to those! My mom and I have an older woman friend - I believe in her 80s. She is a kick! She doesn't remember many things like she use to but she laughs it off! When my mom and I visit her, we leave refreshed (with sore stomachs from laughing so much)! I admire this woman for enjoying this time in her life. So I want to enjoy each moment as it comes! I've been through and seen some things that I would not want again...but I've also been and seen some beautiful and amazing things...can't wait for more! I must say that had I known years what I would get in the past month I'm not sure I'd know what to do...don't think it would have the richness it does now! I had a miscarriage in 1999...the only time I was pregnant. It was pretty tough and yes the longing for a child...oh how it ached! That passed a few years back! I got married to a man who already had children...one of them a 10 year old boy! He's now 17! Over the years, I mothered him. It wasn't until this year that I realized he is mine! What a beautiful birthday present for me on my 40th birthday! No he isn't a brand new baby...but he's mine! I say this to say oh what joys may come with the years!!!
Robin
Farmgirl Sister #1301
Farming in the Sonoran Desert? Hmmm?!
my mama's (ceejay48) craftiness ~ www.cjscreations-ceejay.blogspot.com
my daddy's craftiness ~ www.aspenforge.com |
| mickib |
Posted - Oct 05 2011 : 2:44:51 PM
Jessie, I think everyone has times where they feel their age. Taking time to look back at your life so far and thinking about what may be ahead can give you either a sense of satisfaction or a bit of anxiety, depending on the particular aspects of your life on which you're reflecting. There are times I feel old, I look in the mirror and I'm not the girl I was at 20. At other times I feel so strong and accomplished because of the life I've lived so far, the good, and the bad, experiences I've had. I can't tell you not to feel depressed, feel how you need to feel, but don't let your age keep you from trying, and doing, and growing, and dreaming.
As far as your desire for a child, I always wanted children too. Then I married a man 16 years older than me who had been raising a family for 25 years. I knew he would be willing to raise another child if it would make me happy, but I also knew it wasn't what he really wanted. There were times when I felt a little sad about not having a child of my own, but I love the life I have right now, the way it is, even though I never did have my own child.
I used to have a long list of things I wanted to accomplish and at around 40 I felt serious anxiety. I actually felt like a failure because I wasn't the person I had set out to be. Sometime after that (I'm 47) I came to the realization that I could be happy with things just the way they are. Dreams are great if they make you happy; don't let them become a source of anxiety.
So I guess what I'm saying is, don't let that birthday get you down! The next 10 years may be better than you could ever imagine. Here's a really early Happy Birthday to you.
|
| acairnsmom |
Posted - Oct 05 2011 : 10:51:25 AM
35 was nothing for me. 45? Well, that's when I started with the self doubt like you are doing. Now that I'm 56 I realize that was all bother and nonsense! Why get depressed over something you have no control over? Yes, you will have more aches and pains but believe me, life gets better. You realize a lot of what you stress over right now is total nonsense. You come to like yourself, wrinkles, gray hair and fat. Also, other women aren't as changeable or fickle as you find them now and you can actually start having great friendships with other women without fear that they will someday turn on you. Hiking the A. Trail, sure why not? Earning another degree? You seem to have more time when you are older so go for it! Starting a career, losing weight? Nothing is stoping you from acheiving those goals just because your age is xx. We all have goals no matter what our age is. Yes, conceiving gets harder the older you get but there are stories everyday of even menopausal women getting medical help and conceiving and carrying a child. If you are a Christian, the Bible is full of women "well advanced in years" who have babies. Age should be celebrated rather than feared. Our society just doesn't realize that yet. All the young women I've known who dislike(d) older women? Guess what, they will get here soon enough then the laugh will be on them! Cheer up. This forum is chock full of women "well advanced in years" who are going strong and enjoying life!
Audrey
Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! |
| Lieberkim |
Posted - Oct 05 2011 : 10:25:32 AM
I hear you! I'm 38 and I remember turning 35 and thinking, "I'm officially middle aged" I had only been married five years and had two very young children and was very overwhelmed. But now it doesn't bother me. Live life and enjoy every stage. Yes I grieve things, like the fact that I don't have my old figure anymore. When we got married my husband told me he was getting a 30 year old mind in an 18 year old body. I've aged a lot in 8 years!!!! Giving birth truly changes your body. I say do everything you can to be healthy and enjoy where you are at. If you can't do some things anymore find other things you enjoy just as much. You still have plenty of time if you want to get degrees or have a family. My bestfriend at home is 39 and just had her first child. My husband's cousin has had two children since turning 40. You can still own your own farm, just maybe scale back what you dream of. If you wanted 160 acres with cattle maybe scale down to 5 acres with goats. I think it's all just something that you have to wrap your mind around. 40 was intimidating me. Oh gosh, 40, doesn't that just sound old? But it doesn't to me anymore. I see women who are in their 40s, 50s, 60s even 80s who are loving life and active and doing things and I think why not? With my children I am determined to enjoy every stage (although I will admit celebrating when I was done with diapers!!!!) so why shouldn't I enjoy every stage of my life too? I can't say I've got it all figured out and I'm doing it perfectly but I'm working on it. You'll be terrific!!!
Excuse the mess & the noise, my children are making happy memories |
| one_dog_per_acre |
Posted - Oct 05 2011 : 07:48:29 AM
I re-read this and most of your problems are fixable. Do you have an old injury? MSN, joint juice, glucosamine, that kind of thing helps my husband.
I am totally against harsh chemicals on my face, but a lot of people are not. Aubrey Org. Rose Mosqueta is really great stuff. If you don't mind, Avon Anew works like a miracle. I have huge pores, Exfoliate, get a black/wh heat remover.
Pluck your greys, or wash that grey right out of your hair. I thought that my mom didn't get grey until she was in her 50's until my baby sister told me the truth!
I have been learning tons of stuff fron youtube, there are make up tutorials that will help you. My best friend has a cleft pallette, and her friend is a makeup artist. You can't even see any scars when she is done doing the make up.
Sorry about the children issues. I know of people who got pregnant after going to accupuncture.
quote:
Originally posted by JessieMae
I'll be turning 35 in December, and it has me feeling pretty depressed. I mean, 35 seems OLD. 33 was still young. 34 felt older. 35 is just OLD.
For the first time, I'm starting to feel old. My knees crack when I stand up. My jaw pops when I eat chewy food. A day of hard labor = a day of aspirin and my rocking chair.
I'm also starting to look old. My pores are bigger. My face is doughier. I've got these few wild, silvery, wiry hairs growing out of my temples. Even my feet look different; they look more angular and mannish, somehow.
Adding to my depression, I'm sure, is harsh light that 35 casts on the remainder of my life. The odds of conceiving a biological child are astronomically high now, so one dream is dying. Similarly, my dreams of owning a farm, hiking the Appalachian Trail, earning another degree, starting a career, and slimming down are fading fast.
What did turning 35 do to you? Was it just another birthday? Was it the beginning, end, or somewhere in the middle for you?
Jessie Mae
Farmgirl Sisterhood #134
Trish
Make cupcakes not war!
|
| one_dog_per_acre |
Posted - Oct 05 2011 : 05:32:24 AM
OH NO I FORGOT TO GRIEVE MY YOUTH! I'm 36. Technically, I'm old then?
I am just too busy waiting to be 40, because that's when you get all self actualized, right?
I have never cried about:
Being fat
grey hair
birth belly
bad skin
I used to have beautiful feet, but now I have a hammer toe.
I am starting to get liverspots and lots of hairy moles.
My hair is thinning in the front.
My gramma was bald and beautiful at 70. Try to see the beauty of where we are all headed. I promise you'll have a better time if you don't fight it so hard.
PS Quit looking in the mirror if it bothers you that badly!!!
Ask Ole Trish
Say it fast 10 times.
|
| farmmilkmama |
Posted - Oct 04 2011 : 7:16:48 PM
This is such an inspiring post! Its awesome to hear people talk about all the things they've done, regardless of age. Shows how tough farmgirls are that they can keep on keepin' on...and age ain't nothing but a number!
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
|
|
