| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Miss Bee Haven |
Posted - Mar 17 2011 : 10:19:45 AM
Today, I'm sitting in my sunroom pricing things from my parent's house so I can try to sell them in the antique mall where I work. My mom died six years ago, after the medical community took from my parents all the money my dad's brother(he had a thriving business) left him. It was a lot of money. Now, when my poor dad has to move to an assisted living facility(he's 90 and recently had a small stroke and is a falling risk), he's down to pretty much nothing. His house has to be sold and it won't take long to run through the few thousands he has left right now. As I pick up things and tag them, sometimes I remember where they came from and wish I could keep them. But unless I can pay for anything, I don't feel I should keep anything. My mom and I collected some antique dolls in the 1970's. I'm in charge of selling them, too. It's like sitting down with a photo album and having to rip up the pictures and throw them away.
And I know that the cost of care/medicine is crazy high in this county, because last January, one of our dogs was diagnosed with a cancerous bone tumor. After his leg was amputated, the vet recommended some pills that are in the trial stage and told us to order them from a Canadian pharmacy. Here's the bottom line difference: Here, in my friendly neighborhood Walgreen's, a two and a half month supply costs $800.00. From a registered pharmacy in Canada, the cost is $400.00! Half! Why? I'm assuming the Canadian folks are making a good profit. Right? I'm sure there are millions of people in worse financial shape than my dad. He's probaly going to get some VA assistance(if he doesn't die before they approve him and send him any money). I don't know what the answer is. It's just sad and wrong.
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
| 16 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| rough start farmgirl |
Posted - Mar 20 2011 : 04:51:18 AM
This thread just makes me so tired. What is going on in our country? Why does getting older have to be so frightening? And it makes me sad thinking of the elderly who don't have such devoted children and family members to look out for them.
We saw these same challenges with my parents. Including buying meds from Canada. It made me so sad that my dad was losing sleep over the cost of their meds and then he worried that he was breaking the law buying drugs from out of the country. He and my mother have passed and thankfully do not have to worry any longer.
My heart goes out to all my sister farmgirls, keep up your watchful care!
Marianne |
| Diane B Carter |
Posted - Mar 19 2011 : 11:52:06 AM
Janice I am sorry you are going through this. I have a friend who is 80+. Her husband and daughter have both passed away, her son is serverly mentally challenged. She fell at home alone & broke her ankle. Thankfully she was able to crawl to the phone and call for help. She had surgery went to rehab then fell in rehab rebreaking her foot and bending the screw, back to the hospital more surgery then someone came into tell her her insurance would not pay for her rehab a second time and she could either go home or go to a nursing home. Mind you she rebroke it during rehab.
We have a lousy health care system & she had one of the best. I believe a lot of it is because insurance pays for tummy tucks, boob jobs & face lifts. Not for our elderly. Its a real shame. |
| Violets November |
Posted - Mar 19 2011 : 11:23:32 AM
Janice, my heart goes out to you. What a heartbreak the system is forcing on you.
There seems to be a lot of information above that I've known nothing at all about.
Hugs.
~Violet~
Farmgirl Sister #1669
My blog, http://hiddenacre.blogspot.com/
Our Organic Jewelry, http://www.etsy.com/shop/GaelicForge |
| Okie Farm Girl |
Posted - Mar 18 2011 : 09:51:20 AM
Janice, when I quoted the $3000 figure, it was meant as "up to" that amount. Ours was around $2000 because we did a Limited Family Partnership with other members of the family that is now set up as an irrevocable trust. The more that has to be done by way of paperwork, transfers, titles, etc, the more expensive it is. In our case, we have a general partner (one of the family members) and trustees (other family members) with a heirarchy set up listing who becomes General partner and trustees as family members pass away. Our attorney is an expert in these kinds of setups and teaches classes all over the country to other attorneys. It has been invaluable to us in a number of issues and even keeps us from losing assets if we are personally sued. That is why the vehicles are not in the instrument because if I were to have an accident in one of those vehicles, they could sue the partnership. This way, if I were to have an accident, I could be sued, but they wouldn't get anything. We have had ours set up for 15 years and did it while the kids were in middle and high school.
Mary Beth
www.OklahomaPastryCloth.com
www.Oklahomapastrycloth.com/blog
The Sovereign Lord is my strength - Habakkuk 3:19 |
| HealingTouch |
Posted - Mar 18 2011 : 08:44:02 AM
I have been a nurse for 42 years and it is a crime that these homes rape the people of every last dime. When someone enters a home be very careful about what you sign and say because somewhere someone is charting it. Anything signed and charted becomes a legal document. I have worked in wealthy Christian homes that are what are considered private pay. Those people paid $10,000 a month to have a room in the nursing home. Sometime private and sometime semiprivate. All other expenses are extra, drugs,bandages,therapies etc. How I know is because the patients and families told and showed the bills. Do they get better care? I won't answer that question. I will say, if you need to place anyone in a home go to your states Dept. of Health to see if there have been charges filed for abuse,cleanliness etc. I worked for an agency for years and went to all the area nursing homes and had 1st hand experience to them all. The best run are the NOT for profit homes. Your county homes. I never had to worry about not having their meds or treatment supplies. Always were there. Just because a place looks pretty doesn't mean it's pretty to live there. I have first hand experience with my stepfather being in a home and I stayed working at that home the entire time he was there to oversee his care. That is not a luxury everyone can have. He paid cash over $8,000 a month. Did he get that much care? Guess! This country does not value the elderly and my heart goes out to them because if they don't have a strong advocate it can become a nightmare. I'm sorry about all of it. Some states will pay you a caretaker fee to keep your loved one at home. This opens the door to home health aides and other help. You just have to check out every avenue. Also if you have someone in a home and have a problem that is not being addressed with the staff, report them to the Dept. of Health. If it doesn't look right...IT ISN'T! All the smiles in the world doesn't make up for what is done after you walk out that door. All homes are not bad. Some are above wonderful. Just be aware of everything.
Be Blessed,
Darlene
Sister 1922
God first, everything else after!
When Satan's knocking at your door, just say "Jesus will you get that for me?"
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| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Mar 18 2011 : 07:49:37 AM
Janice, that's way too pricey. You know, you have a connection  , and my boss sets up these types of things each and every day. He usually charges about $850 at the most, but that's unusual. But then, he's one of the best around and is always the most reasonable...I've known him 10 years now, and I can say he's a wonder at this stuff. Amazingly knowledgeable on tax law, medicare, medicaid, etc..and his estate plans are tailored to each individual upon meeting and discussing their needs. That said, it's still reasonable.
Assets are "typicall" considered the house, cars, boats, accounts, stocks, etc...unless you have a tea set made by Paul Revere himself, it's usually just "used furnishings" so if you have anything you can sell to add to the pot, that's the way to go. They don't keep track of those items. Largely, those are things that people list as "donated", anyway....
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
| Miss Bee Haven |
Posted - Mar 18 2011 : 06:45:08 AM
I recently found out about the five year thing, Jonni. It's 10 in Indiana(Wow). And how closely do they look at your 'assets' and what are assets? How would they know about anything inside a house? Like antiques? Is it just property? I never think of myself as having much in the way of assets. We pretty much just have the farm and our vehicles. I'm pretty good at 'spending down' the money! LOL! And how expensive is having an attorney set all that up? Somebody mentioned $3,000. That's kinda pricey.
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Mar 18 2011 : 06:29:55 AM
Janice, I know how difficult this is for you--let me simply say that I am in total agreement with you about our nation's "health care system". It's definitively broken. Having gone through this with my Great Grandmother and her property, it's really just emotionally devastating.
I work for an estate planning and real estate attorney...while I do think it's a good idea to look into a trust for financial matters-- if you have assets--it's also good to discuss with aging spouses and parents to title all assets into joint names with right of survivorship, or if you have a single parent, to quit claim any interest in property to a child or to again, title properties, bank accounts, cd's, etc...into joint names.
The Medicaid office now has a 5 year look back period (used to be 3) in which they review any property transfers within that time as potentially fraudulent, prior to applying for medicaid. So, it's beneficial, though no doubt uncomfortable, to discuss these matters before someone reaches the point where you have little choice but to sell remaining assets for their care.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
| Miss Bee Haven |
Posted - Mar 17 2011 : 4:01:49 PM
Yes, Mary Beth. Your suggestion is a good one, and my inlaws have already done that. My dh and I will be doing it this spring, as well. It seems to be the best way to not lose everything.
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
| Alee |
Posted - Mar 17 2011 : 3:18:29 PM
Mary Beth- That is a very wise thing to suggest. My parents looked at doing this with my grandfather when we realized the types of complications he was having from diabetes and the fact that he might have had to go to a nursing home.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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| Okie Farm Girl |
Posted - Mar 17 2011 : 2:58:04 PM
One word to the rest of us - too late for many of our older parents - there is something that we CAN do to avoid the horrible scenario that Janice and her parents are experiencing right now. That is to form a trust or a Limited Family Partnership. These legal instruments take your assets, including your home, bank accounts, personal belongings, etc. but not your vehicles, out of your name or the names of your parents, and put them into the name of the trust. No longer are they considered YOUR assets even though you enjoy the use of them until you die (at which time an irrevocable trust and all that is in it just gets passed on to the kids for THEM to manage without taxes) or decide to sell them via the trust or LFP which will entail taxes. In essence, your personal financial picture is little to nothing for the government/medicare/medicaid to force you to sell. I encourage anyone to take this step which CAN cost as much as $3000, but in the longrun, when all things are considered, you are not stripped of your hard earned savings, your home and your belongings. There are attorneys who do only this type of estate planning. Just thought that I would pass that along. I'm so sorry that you and your family is going through this.
Mary Beth
www.OklahomaPastryCloth.com
www.Oklahomapastrycloth.com/blog
The Sovereign Lord is my strength - Habakkuk 3:19 |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - Mar 17 2011 : 2:34:51 PM
If your dad is a vet, he doesn't need to be approved as disabled to get medical help from them, any vet automatically gets free medical from the va regaurdless if they get income from them or what have you.
That being said......I am in the same boat so can totally relate.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| embchicken |
Posted - Mar 17 2011 : 2:27:28 PM
Janice~ You and your dad are both in my prayers. This is such an injustice and it is heartbreaking to think of how often it is happening. I can't even imagine how difficut this is for you. God Bless you.
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" ~Gandhi
embchicken.blogspot.com |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Mar 17 2011 : 2:22:27 PM
This is just so heartbreaking, Janice - I am so, so sorry that your family is suffering through this. It is unfair, unjust and unconscionable that this happens. It makes my heart cry. I don't understand how those who will reap the financial benefit from your heartbreak can sleep at night. I can only imagine how hard all this is on you. May God be with and bless you and your Dad.
Hugs -
Nini
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
Farmgirl Sister #1974 |
| graciegreeneyes |
Posted - Mar 17 2011 : 1:45:34 PM
What a hard thing to deal with Janice - I am so sorry - grief on top of grief. I don't feel our system has much, or any, humanity, perhaps individuals within that system but as a whole, not!!
Farmgirl #224
"use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without"
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| gramadinah |
Posted - Mar 17 2011 : 10:40:09 AM
My heart goes out to you we are going thru the same thing here they thought they had saved enough to live out a very comfortable life now they sell every thing and get little to no money for the sale. I have found that if you have money it isn't enough but if you have none there are lots of venues open to you.
Diana
Farmgirl Sister #273 |
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