T O P I C R E V I E W |
LeighErica |
Posted - Feb 14 2011 : 09:05:38 AM Good morning girls, I was just wondering if you would give me your advice on FB matters. I have had a FB acct. for a few years and as a military wife, it was a great form of communication to keep in touch with family and friends. But, I took a leap last week after alot of pondering and deactivated my acct. I did this because I felt I was spending far too much time reading other people's pages and getting caught up in their lives. It was becoming a very negative aspect of my life. Since I have given it up...I have to say..I feel more energized. I wake up in the morning with time to get things done...before I would have coffee and read my emails and FB...more FB than anything. I don't miss reading all the comments. The limited word conversations were not developing healthy relationships as I had hoped. My "close" friends think there is something wrong, but there is not and as much as I try to convey my decision to them..they don't get it. Have any of you experienced this? Thanks, Erica |
24 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
barefootmama |
Posted - Feb 16 2011 : 10:21:48 AM I have a facebook account..and I like it! lol..Im not someone who sits on it for hours and reads everything..I only chat with friends,family,farm girls and former military pals from across the globe....many fighting overseas ..I think it is a useful communication tool if done not to an excess..I love getting pictures of my nieces and nephews and sharing pics of my kids with whom I choose..you all are correct in saying "it is not for everyone" though..I check my page maybe 3 times a week and enjoy it:)...Look for me on Facebook:)
Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves,for they shall never cease to be amused:) |
traildancer |
Posted - Feb 16 2011 : 09:55:38 AM I won't FaceBook nor will I text. If someone wants/needs to get in touch with me, that is what the telephone is for. My daughter (21 and in college) has one and keeps in touch with a lot of friends. Last summer she gave me her password so that I could see the pictures she had taken while she was in Alaska for the summer. Of course I could see all her posts and her friends. I felt like I was spying, even though I had permission so I quit. I think my son (19 and just joined the Navy, woo-hoo) has one. I'm just not interested in getting "friended" (when did that become a verb?) by people all over the place.
The trail is the thing.... Louis L'Amour |
Dorinda |
Posted - Feb 16 2011 : 06:28:12 AM I do not facebook. They had a story last weekend on the news about facebook. They talked about privacy alot. They told a story of what happened to a young girl whose picture had been put on facebook. Long story!! Want go into it now. The FBI got on there and said do not put pictures of your children on Facebook. There are more petiphiles out there then you think. Don't know if I spelled that right. Anyways they had a Harvard student whom was able to get all of the News reporters information with in 5 minutes even her social security number. She had applied one time for a refinancing on line. She was in complete shock at all the information he was able to pull up on her. She said I thought all of that stuff was private she said I used all of the privacy stuff. And he said I can get into any ones facebook account that I want to. And so can most people. He talked about all of these new companies who have started compiling information on people and will sale your information to other companies. Like advertising or FBI agents, ect. So be careful what you put on Facebook. So I went to my computer and typed in my sisters name because she is very big on the facebook thing and Bingo I was able to pull up her account and I do not even have a facebook account. So go figure. I called her and told her this. I don't even remember how I did it. It just popped in. So the news people were right.
Seize The Day! Dorinda |
pnickols |
Posted - Feb 16 2011 : 03:46:14 AM I seem to be the odd one out but I do facebook, it started when my daughter went to college and she asked me to get a facebook account so during the day we could "talk". Since then I have reconnected with cousins who live in Georgia and Texas, my nephew who is stationed on Minot Air Force Base in North Dakota, my brothers family in Yakima Washington. I found several friends from high school and even my best friend from college. She and I "chat" often and she came for a visit last month. I does not eat up every minute of my life and does not detract from my family or hobbies or social life. It can if you let it though, just like anything else. It's about balance, I visit in person, talk on the phone and use technology to stay in touch with family and friends. |
laurentany |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 9:11:09 PM I laughed when I saw the topic of this post. Face book is considered not one but 2 four letter words in my book.LOL I just dont understand the whole concept. The way I look at it is this... If I havent been in touch with/spoken to you in 5,10,15,20 years then obviously you are not my "Friend". I just dont understand why grown adults would want to post picture of themselves and update their "page" with what they had for breakfast etc. It all kind of seems silly to me and rather pointless. I must say maybe I just have a "Closed mind" about it- but I dont ever see myself opening an account, nor do I plan on "accepting" my children wanting to do it. Guess I am a 43 year old "old fashioned" person.... If you want to talk to your friend- pick up the phone and call them (or I guess in this day and age email or text), At least you know who you are talking to! Just my opinion since you asked. Good luck with your decision! Smiles, Laurie Farmgirl Sister#1403
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. |
viggie |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 6:52:15 PM If it's a drag on you, then you already have your answer :) A lot of how we see it depends on how we use it. I've surrounded myself by family, Church family, and homesteading friends. I'm extremely introverted so I like "socializing" online without out it being draining on me. I like having to tell news once and have everyone I care about know it rather than repeating it a hundred times. If I have news just for immediate family, there's a setting on each post where I can choose who sees it or who doesn't see it. And I love my homesteading group and all the things I learn from them.
If games bother you, they can be blocked so you don't see other people playing them. If someone bothers you but you don't want to offend them, their updates can be hidden so you don't see them but they are still "friends" with you. If someone needs out of your life there is a block feature so they can't see you or your posts even in public areas. Just gotta be smart and use the tools they provide to make it an enjoyable experience.
of viggies veggies or follow on facebook |
goneriding |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 5:05:03 PM I have a FB acc't but not under my real name. I deactivated the one with my real name. I got a msg from a lady who said if you get someone who wants to do damage to you, they can find your personal info and post it publicly. That was enuf for me to change the account. Somehow, I don't seem sucked into FB. Now, Twitter, that's another story. I keep it anon as possible too.
For some 'venting'-type of entertainment, please read my blog, http://lostadventuresintrucking.blogspot.com . Now with pictures!!
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acairnsmom |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 2:51:14 PM I guess I'm considered old fashioned but I've never been on FB nor have any desire to. There is only one person I would be interested in finding out where she is but other than that it seems like a huge invasion of privacy. Had an acquaintance send me requests to friend her about 5 times. What a waste! Can't you figure out I'm not on the thing? I've never been on twitter either and don't know why people are so intersted in the mundane happenings of other people? I love blogs however and waste a whole lot of time on my fav's.
Audrey
Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! |
Prairie Gypsy |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 10:35:19 AM Facebook been a blessing and a curse for me personally. I've considered getting rid of it, but the advantages (at least at this time) outweigh the disadvantages. I would suggest possibly emailing, writing, or speaking with the "close" friends that think something is wrong and explaining. I'm hearing more and more people making the choice to leave FB for numerous reasons and it's okay not to have a FB account as much as some people would try to convince you otherwise. Even though it appears there's more disadvantages below, for me the advantages outweigh the problems I've had, at least for now. Don't let them bully you into reactiving your account if you're not comfortable with it.
Advantages for me have been that I interact with friends and family that I haven't seen for years. I get glimpses of their lives through their posts since so many of us are so busy that keeping in contact with a lot of people is difficult. I can post crafts that I've done, keep people updated on my garden, canning, and meals that we make. If something is going on it's a fast way to let huge groups of people know, like when my uncle sufferened a heart attack. Because he's part of my step family I would never of gotten word until possibly weeks afterwards regarding it.
Another advantage is that I'm on all my kids' accounts (they're adults) and can see what is going on with them. I have a problem child that without FB I would have little knowledge of what she is doing since she only calls most of us to ask for money. My son is in the Army and posts pictures of things he's doing and places he's visited so I get to share in that.
I'm prior Navy and work for the Army so I have a lot of military people that come and go through my life and FB allows me to keep up with those that I feel safe and comfortable with FBing with. One of the sailors I worked with has gone through Hodgkin's Lymphoma and a triple bypass yet is running marathons and I enjoy seeing him celebrate his life as he trains and competes.
Advantage & Disadvantage: A lot of people have gotten to the point they only interact through FB. It can be a great way to coordinate activities within a large group. Personally for electronic activity coordination I prefer Evite but a lot of people won't use that either. Problems arise coordinating with FB accounts and with people that won't use their FB for this (that have existing accounts) and with those that have chosen not to have a FB account. This was one of the reasons why we got bullied into joining was his friends only coordinate through FB so if you weren't on it you didn't know that gatherings were planned. He was getting phone calls from irate people about why we weren't at their gatherings that we had no idea were occuring because we weren't on FB.
Another disadvantage is that people tend to post things they'd never say or do in person (or I would hope not). Lets just say I've had serious experience with a buddy of my fiance's posting inappropriate stuff on my page and the blowout from his friends who didn't like my responce to his crossing the line. My problem child tends to post things that aren't very appropriate too. I would probably also put bullying under this point, although some people are bullies period, not just online.
People can also get really nasty if you unfriend them. I've had friends warn people that they were cleaning up their pages and deleting people and not to take it personally but they were reducing it down to just family or whatever and still had huge explosions. I deleted my fiance's friends (to protect my page) when we nearly split this past summer and that blew into another huge issue.
I know far to many who are addicted to posting on FB. Some might say I am, but I don't think so. I have no problems turning my Blackberry off on the weekends and not checking FB until after my weekend is over. If we get a camper this summer this will be occuring more and more where I shut off technology. If I'm busy at work then it doesn't get checked until I get home or possibly not until the next day. The newness, for me, has worn off and I'm starting to distance myself from it. I do love playing Zulu on FB if I'm bored at work and have nothing to work on so some might assume I'm FBing when I'm actually playing a game instead.
Farmgirl Sister # 2363 http://twilightburrough.blogspot.com/ Warren, MI
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graciegreeneyes |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 10:00:56 AM I use fb but in a very limited way - I hardly ever post, and mostly skim through every day. I do like that it has allowed me to find some old friends I thought I'd lost forever. Also I have a highschool friend living in Cairo and fb was a great way to both make sure she was okay and to get updates on the situation there and hear a side of the story that our media isn't reporting, all without the expense of international phone calls. So, everything in moderation I think. Amy Grace
Farmgirl #224 "use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without"
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Bellepepper |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 09:39:21 AM My sister emailed me and told me to go to her facebook and take a look at her pics. So I went, had to fill out a bunch of info, shissh, all i wanted to do was look at her pics. Then I started getting emails from everybody from ex-DIL to friends of my kids who wanted to be my friend. Then my grandkids ask me why I didn't want to be their friend. I don't even go there, who cares. I tell my kids (all over 50), my grandkids (all over 23) that if they want to talk to me, they can email me or call me on the phone. Not the cell phone either. I keep it turned off. It is for me to use in case of an emergency away from home. I do turn it on occasion if I am expecting a call while I am away from the house. I don't know how to retrieve my vioce mail nor do I know how to text. My phone takes pics but don't know how to do that either. If I did the face book, text, cell phone 24-7, then what in the world would we talk about when we got together for family dinners.
More power to you if this is your thing. I understand this is sometimes the only way you can communicate at times. Good for you. It is all about choice.
By the way, I never did get to see my sister's pics.
AND
I think I want to blog. Don't know how to do that either. You know the picture thing. Oh well. Very hard to teach an old dog new tricks.
Belle |
LucyLobo511 |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 09:26:59 AM I deleted my FB account it didnt turn out to be what I had thought it would be and I spent way to much time on it reading what everyone else was doing while I was sitting doing nothing I replaced it with MJF LOL. The people on MJF are so much more interesting and fun. I also was attacked by a friend of my sister in law I could not believe the stuff this women wrote and posted on my wall without even knowing me but she didnt like what I wrote to my SIL (what I wrote wasn't even bad in anyway) but this women felt it was her place to put me in my place wow I am still shocked at all of it and to top it all off my SIL made her take down the post but still remained friends with her and it put a huge gap in out relationship. Needless to say thier lives are like The Desperate Houses Wives and I am better off out of the line of fire. Keep in touch with an old fashion phone call, a hand written letter or email but remember to be careful what you ever write down it can't be taken back.
Insane and Blissfully Happy Mari-lyn
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Mommyswanson |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 08:55:42 AM I do Facebook. I keep in touch with old school & work friends through Facebook as well as some cousins & nieces that live across country & have a few Farmgirl friends too. My church even sends out a morning devotional through Facebook. I have not had any real problems with it but understand that it's not for everyone. It can get a little addicting for some. My daughter's girl scout troop has actually connected with a sister troop in Australia through Facebook!
Laura
"That which does not kill us makes us strong!" "I cast all my cares upon you Lord." |
LeighErica |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 08:23:39 AM Thanks for sharing....all of your stories I can relate to one way or another. I too was hit to be friends with old HS classmates, ecspcially since this was our 20th reunion year...but after I accepted the friendship there was no communication what-so-ever. My brother called me last night and said he deactivated his yesterday. I asked him why, and he said since I wasn't going to be on there, he had no interest in being there as well because of the issues we all talk about. His family and I are going to be skyping from now on and that is a better alternative for us since we do not live close together. My daughter and I have been talking more on the phone now...she is at college and our conversations are much more meaningful too. We are getting back to communicating in ways that lets us talk without limits. I think technology is good, but I was not happy with where I was going with FB. This seperation is allowing me the chance to reconnect with a lifestyle I want to have and maintain..one of simplicity, productivity, and healthier relationships. Thanks for sharing all your stories....you all have helped me see that my action is right for me. Farmgirl Hugs;) |
Ingrid |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 07:38:08 AM I had an account but it only lasted about two weeks and then I realized by the continual changes on peoples status how much time they were actually spending on Facebook instead of in person. I deactivated. Never missed it. The only thing I left open was the email notification for direct messages. I haven't missed it at all.
Give thanks to yourself everyday for all the wonderful things you do! |
cathymark4ever |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 05:33:50 AM At first, I dreaded the thought of using Facebook. But, after much persuasion, I opened an account. I found long lost friends from my childhood, my eldest sister who does not speak to the rest of the family (she still won't tell me why), her children, my aunt, and lots of homeschool moms that I would otherwise not know. We post pictures of projects with the kids. Our favorite was when we built our own incubator and hatched 6 ducks! We posted every step of the hatching process and it was watched by everyone with pure suspense. That was awesome and possible only because of Facebook. I figure I have nothing to hide. I think the people that post the "pics from the party the night before" are foolish and those things will come back to haunt them. But the most unpredictable thing we do around here is stay up until 10. I am not a serial poster, but some are and that can be overwhelming. You can always close the account if you do not like it.
Now Twitter on the other hand - grrrr, I do not need to know every time a celebrity inhales and exhales - nor do I care about the fact someone just did whatever they deem important and never is.
Catherine
Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/CatherineFinchJohnson eBay store - http://stores.ebay.com/CathyMark4Ever-Upscale-Resale?_rdc=1
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."
Mahatma Gandhi |
Annab |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 04:14:07 AM I have an account and am able to keep in touch with old college and high school buddies. These few people are indeed an energizing aspect of my life, and we carry on like we used to while in person too.
My FB times are a little before work and just before going to bed.
If there's not much going on, there's no point in lingering if there's nothing to reply to |
nh.farmgirl |
Posted - Feb 14 2011 : 8:14:38 PM I don't facebook, but I think whether you do or not is entirely your own call. If it works for you, then why not?
Barbara
"If I could say it in words there would be no reason to paint." - Edward Hopper
www.newhampshirefarmgirl.blogspot.com
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HollyG |
Posted - Feb 14 2011 : 1:06:33 PM I don't do facebook either. As an educator, we are held accountable (legally - really, really) for what we do outside of our schools. I live a clean life, but if a picture of me gets posted while I'm buying gas at a station that sells liquor, it could be considered questionable. There have been teachers in my state fired because of personal, non-school related issues, revealed on facebook. That's enough for me to stay away.
I had an account for about two weeks - and like Melina, had someone track me down I hoped to never see again. They weren't nice to me in high school, why do I want to be their "friend" now? Yes, that may be a Junior High mentality, but it's exactly how it made me feel and I decided then and there, I'm WAY past Jr. High - so I'm not going to put myself in situations where I can be made to feel like that again. It was unproductive and a waste of my time. Those who wanted to contact me did, and those who wanted to maintain contact with me have.
I have several friends who facebook religiously. Some do it to help keep up with their kids. I understand that, but not having kids, it's still a mystery to my why they'd have to. Others use it as somewhat of an online journal revealing far too much personal information about their marriages, finances, and everyone else's business. I like to live in a world of "the less I know, the better." That's just my opinion and for that and a buck-fifty, you can get some decent coffee somewhere. It's definitely not all bad, but it's not how I want to spend my time.
HollyG Farmgirl #2513 www.mydeepwoodslife.com |
Ninibini |
Posted - Feb 14 2011 : 12:47:23 PM I don't do Facebook for many, many reasons; but the one thing that really struck me was a news report last year indicating that messages on Facebook could be used against people in a court of law. I thought, "Geez - but people lie and expound upon things all the time - how can they use that as a guarantee that someone has spoken the truth?" To me, that's very dangerous. I didn't like it at all. I'm like most of the rest of you - people can call me, people can email me. I have one friend from high school who is always trying to get me on Facebook. She says all our old classmates ask about me all the time and, through her, encourage me to sign up. I asked her to just forward my email to them, but I don't think she ever did - or if she did, I haven't heard from any of them, so they must not want to be chatting with me too much!
For a very brief period we did allow our son to have a Facebook account in order to keep in closer touch with his many cousins who live in various parts of the country. We did the "friends only" thing, but he was still exposed to strangers through their posts on his friend's pages - and whatever he said was not kept in confidence, either - everyone that was their friend could read what he posted, too. One friend on one of his cousins' Facebook page started posting her experiences with cutting and branding - apparently a new trend in middle and high school aged kids.... Yeah...no thank you. My brother-in-law was very grateful for our phone call about that one - they never check their kids Facebook pages, thinking they were "safe."
Around the same time, our son posted a comment to my sister (his aunt) about something that he would have innocently said to her in person; but one of my sister's male friends who did not agree with our son's observation started bullying our son ON (through) my sister's Facebook page. Needless to say we were mortified by the whole thing. Our brother, who also has a Facebook account, stepped in and put the guy in his place while my sister did nothing and just let the whole thing unfold. (Yes - shame on my sister!) Long story short, my sister did eventually drop that "friend" due to the ridiculous escalation of the incident between this man and my brother, but I feel she didn't handle it properly at all - especially with our son who was being bullied by an adult on HER Facebook page. It's a long story, but lesson learned. As a result, we closed our son's Facebook account. He has plenty of other ways to connect with relatives that don't involve him being exposed to strangers.
My sister feels that we are wrong because all of his life he will be exposed to strangers and experiences like this. True, but he's still a kid and an "adult-in-training." I'm not comfortable with other influences being introduced to him in that manner - and our experience proved that the "safe" way of being on Facebook wasn't really "safe" at all. This man was her "friend" up until what he did. She thought he was a "safe" person in her life, but it took this incident to prove otherwise. If our brother hadn't stepped in, I'm not so sure my sister would have done anything about it, ever, to be quite honest. It was not only an eye-opener about friends of people you trust, but also a lesson about the people whom you trust themselves.
We've had pangs of discomfort with the whole Facebook thing all along, so cutting it out all together was a real relief. And our son "gets" our feelings about it, now, too. For us it was a good lesson about following your instincts!
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
Farmgirl Sister #1974 |
Melina |
Posted - Feb 14 2011 : 10:47:22 AM I had an account until someone I definitely didn't want to communicate with tracked me down. DH has re-opened his account and I'm sure it's just a matter of time until this person manages to make contact again. This is even with very high security settings. I know one thing, as a grandmother of 4 (3 of whom use it) I'm often dismayed at their lack of manners and good taste. Maybe a grandma shouldn't read their posts. As for eating up time, yep. So does Craigslist and, ahem, so does MJF and every other forum/blog I visit. I could waste a whole day just browsing and I have vowed to cut WAAYY back.
The morning breeze has secrets to tell you. Do not go back to sleep. Rumi |
FieldsofThyme |
Posted - Feb 14 2011 : 10:34:04 AM I do not have facebook. In my opinion, it is not a prudent way to spend my time. If someone really wants to keep in touch with me, they can e-mail me or write to me. If someone really wants to speak to me, they can also call me or text me.
In my opinion, it's a place for gossip if not limited to inside family. If there is something I need to know, I would hope that I would be contacted. Otherwise, my life would simply be gossip to another person or groups of people.
And yes, I lost friends who spend hours on FB, and prefer it that way. Their loss, not mine.
Farmgirl #800 http://momzonetakingtimeformom.blogspot.com/
http://scrapreusedandrecycledartprojects.blogspot.com/
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Karrieann |
Posted - Feb 14 2011 : 10:11:43 AM ... I keep mine because it IS the only way I have any communication from one of my daughter. She does not call or write to me.. not even e-mails. I know that FB can easily zap up the personal time.. so I limit my online time with it.... half an hour in the morning.. and hour in the evening.. but I don't always those times.. meaning.. lots of time I am not in the mood for the computer.. it gives me headaches most of the time.
Karrieann ~ Farmgirl Sister #766 (29 Sept 2009)
My Blog: ...following my heart, dreams and Jesus ...http://karrieann-followingmyheartandjesus.blogspot.com/
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buffypuff |
Posted - Feb 14 2011 : 09:38:33 AM I do have a fB acct, but I agree it is not for everyone. I limited my security settings to only "friends" not "friends of friends." I like to get on and post a note to my kids and read a few of the new items that come on the news feed. Then I get off. I very rarely get on the fB MJfarm girls site as I feel like I have an allegience to this site with friends, bible study, swaps etc. I have had to limit my time...you are right...one can be on the computer all the time. so...I don't play games on fB, I only read a few things, post a note to family members or close friends and then get on with my day. I do know people who have closed their accounts because they just were not capable of controlling their time. They went back to emails and the telephone. Good luck to you.
Buffypuff/ Claudia ~ Farmgirl & Sister #870 ~ "It compliments God to ask great things of Him." ~ St. Theresa of Avila
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