| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| melanie47601 |
Posted - Nov 16 2010 : 7:17:47 PM
for myself. I have been taking some time to reflect on my life and I feel like I am slacking off in a lot of areas. I have been consumed with life. Merely moving through the days without truly appreciating the wonderful things around me.
While I need to challenge myself to do better in several areas of my life- diet, exercise, family, friends.... I know it would be disastrous to try to change everything at once.
So I'm going to choose one thing to work on for now until I feel ready to take on the next.
I have an hour to kill as I sit and wait for my younger two children to be let out of school. I have been using that time to catch up on my reading- my MaryJanes Farm magazines. It usually takes me a couple of days to read through an issue. I love every part! I read every page! Currently I'm catching up on the Raising Jane issue. (I know I am sooo far behind!) And on page 9 in the bottom corner is a quote from Louise Hart~ "Our children give us the opportunity to become the parents we always wished we'd had."
This quote hit very close to home for me. Growing up my parents weren't around much. They were both alcoholics. My mom doesn't drink anymore and dad not as much as he used to. I am closer to my mom now, dad a little bit. My maternal grandma was everything to me. She was the one person I knew without a doubt I could always go to, but I lost her when I was 9 years old. I looked out for me and my little sister growing up and as soon as I was old enough to work, I did. I worked to buy clothes, paid my book rental in high school so they would let me have my diploma, paid the rent, you name it...
I made a promise to myself and my children long before they were born~ that they would never live that life. I would always be there for them. They would never go to sleep at night without knowing where I was. That they would never have to drag me out of a bar or walk across town in the wee hours of the morning in the freezing cold to keep me from drinking and driving.
No I have not and will not ever follow in my parents' footsteps. But since moving into this house this past summer, I find that I have let myself fall into worrying over this or that about the house, getting wrapped up in work and fretting about money. And those things have stolen mine and my kids' special time together. My guy always tells me that I worry too much. He's right. Maybe I should call and tell him. He'd probably faint. LOL
My challenge to myself is to hand my worries over to God everyday and spend more time enjoying my little family and to vow to never let "life" get in the way of that again.
Why am I telling this to all of you? I'm not really sure. Out of all my friends, I believe all of you will encourage me to stay straight and not get distracted.
Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.
Melanie
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!"
Blog~ http://wheelsarealwaysturning.blogspot.com/ Etsy~http://www.etsy.com/shop/theflourishingfinch
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| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| theprimitivepilgrim |
Posted - Nov 20 2010 : 9:17:39 PM
Melanie, thank you so much for sharing what so many of us can relate to. I too can see myself accelerating down the worry path, but your words were a gentle reminder that I need to "let go" and "let God." You are such a special person, and a wonderful mom, thanks for sharing from the heart~
~Michelle |
| delicia |
Posted - Nov 18 2010 : 8:39:47 PM
Melanie, you are a true inspiration and loving individual. Your children are blessed to have you as their Mom. We should all learn to look at the blessings and miracles around us. Be happy and enjoy each season of our lives. You have reminded me of that and I am Thankful for your message.
love,d |
| melanie47601 |
Posted - Nov 18 2010 : 2:44:55 PM
Thank you all so much for support and prayers. You all mean so very much to me.
Mary Beth~ I can totally relate to that 'self-centeredness' you mentioned. It has become a huge habit for me, starting when I was just a kid. It kind of fell to me to take care of everything and I did. At times it just feels like the whole world is sitting on my shoulders. I am so tired of feeling drug down and wore out. I have never heard the Serenity Prayer explained. I always have kind of wondered how I would know what it is that I can change. Thank you for sharing your story. It helps a lot!
Well Farm Girl sisters, it is time for me to bid farewell for tonight. I'm off to fix a little dinner, love on a couple of the 4-legged babies and then to cheer on my youngest daughter at basketball practice. I hope you all have a wonderful evening.
Again thank you all so much!
Hugs~ Melanie
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!"
Blog~ http://wheelsarealwaysturning.blogspot.com/ Etsy~http://www.etsy.com/shop/theflourishingfinch
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| CountryBorn |
Posted - Nov 17 2010 : 1:58:36 PM
So much of that post I could of written myself.I made up my mind when I was very young that my life was not the life I ever wanted my kids to have to live. I have never drank and never will. Saw too much of it and it's consequences all through my life. My relationship with my own children was entirely different than what I had. I did stick to the promises I made to myself and to them. Did everything turn out perfectly? Of course not. But, I feel good about the wonderful relationship we have and had. The same with my grandkids. There are a lot of things that I will let slide if I have a choice between housework and fun with my daughter, grandchildren , husband and friends. I used to feel so guilty if I wasn't Miss Perfect everything. No more. Losing my youngest daughter had a lot to do with that. I was heartbroken and beyond despair. But one thing I wasn't, was feeling guilty about if I spent enough time with her or if she really knew how much I loved her. I know she did. So I say bravo to you dear Melanie. You really know what is important and will never be sorry for making the choices you have.
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
| MrsRooster |
Posted - Nov 17 2010 : 1:15:18 PM
Many hugs and prayers to you.
I have also been thinking alot of what I want my daughter to have/remember about me when I am gone. My Mom was always so busy with housework or whatever. I didn't really spend "qualitity time" with her. My Dad came home from work and went to the TV. So I promised myself when my daughter was born that I would make sure that I was there when she needed me or just needed a hug.
We have to remember that life is very short and we need to make the most of what we get.
I think about that now every day since I started homeschooling my daughter. What precious things these days are.
God Bless.
www.mrsrooster.blogspot.com
Farmgirl #1259
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| Mommyswanson |
Posted - Nov 17 2010 : 12:59:04 PM
Melanie,
Thank you for sharing your story. If only we lived closer I'd love to invite you over for a cup of tea. I understand allowing worry to over take our lives. My mother was a worrier with many health problems & as I grow older I see myself becoming the same way & I too made a promise to my kids that I wouldn't let that happen. Every time I say I'm tired or I don't feel well I just want to grab those words back so my kids don't hear them. Take it one day at a time :) Praying for you sweet girl!!
Laura
"That which does not kill us makes us strong!" "I cast all my cares upon you Lord." |
| Okie Farm Girl |
Posted - Nov 17 2010 : 12:29:39 PM
Melanie, thank you so much for sharing. Half the battle in this life is being able to open up and not be secretive. Having been married to an alcoholic, I know too well how that affects relationships, self-awareness and life in general. I was "dragged" by a friend of mine to Al Anon which is for the families and friends of alcoholics. They also have group called ACOA or Adult Children of Alcoholics. I learned something about myself that maybe you can identify with. When you said that you need to hand your worries over to God, it so hit me in my memories. My sponsor told me that I fell into 'self-centeredness' when I started worrying about everything and everybody. It meant that I didn't really believe or trust that God is in control. Oh brother did that hurt. She told me to draw a circle in the dirt and to stand in it. Then she had me recite the serenity prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." She told me that every single thing outside of the circle were things that I couldn't change. She then asked me, "What is inside the circle?" I said, "Me". She told me that is the only thing on this earth that I can change - my attitudes, my faith and my actions. And then she grinned and said, "And now you have the wisdom to know the difference."
In the book, Jacob the Baker, an old woman comes to Jacob and says, "Jacob, why is life so hard Why is it such a burden?" Jacob answers, "Life is only a burden if WE try to carry it." That was what I learned is so typical of those of us who have been touched by alcoholism. We fall into thinking that we have to make sure that everyone is happy and healthy and productive when we don't have that much power over anyone's life or feelings. We get so caught up in worrying that everything go right or that nothing bad happens that we wear ourselves out and miss so many opportunities to just live. I hear so much what you are saying. Just keep reminding yourself that you "are fearfully and wonderfully made because God's works are wonderful." That means, don't be so hard on yourself - you are doing the best you can - and just "Let Go and Let God"!! You won't believe how free your will feel. :-) I may be older, but I still have a kick in my step!!
Mary Beth
www.OklahomaPastryCloth.com
The Sovereign Lord is my strength - Habakkuk 3:19 |
| Fiddlehead Farm |
Posted - Nov 17 2010 : 10:32:46 AM
Melanie, Thank you for sharing, sounds like you have already given your children wonderful parents. That quote sure does ring true. I am also trying to slow down and just be. My daughter (who is a vet tech) says we should all try to live more like dogs do. They are just happy to be alive and they live in the moment. As humans, we can get so side-tracked in this high-speed world we live in. Just enjoy your family and be thankful for what you have. I remember a line from a movie that said "if you win the rat race...you are still a rat". Prayers and hugs out to you and yours, enjoy each other and the simple everyday moments that are life.
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922
Happy to be a "Raggedy Ann" in a Barbie World!
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
- E. B. White |
| pinkroses |
Posted - Nov 17 2010 : 09:42:33 AM
You know Melanie
I think you are right bout doing a little at a time.
You have faith in God .
It seems so many of us are having struggles with health,money, etc.
Being a grown up is so much work.
Be assured God sees your needs and will supply your needs.
Though it might take longer than you want it to.
Going through so many problems myself for years and years.
I do know one thing
GOD KNOWS OUR EVERY NEED;
HE DOES CARE.
HE DOES HEAR OUR PRAYERS.
YOUR PRAYERS ARE BEING ANSWERED.
LEAN ON GOD AND FRIENDS YOU CAN COUNT ON.
hugs love and prayers Sheila
http://www.sheilascreativetouches.blogspot.com/
http://www.ohkayteagirl2.blogspot.com |
| gypsy goat |
Posted - Nov 17 2010 : 07:25:55 AM
i think you should just stop for a minute and reflect on the wonderful accoplishment of not ending up like your parents you truly deserve a get big pat on the back for that one! and yes stop worrying so much set a reasonable goal each day of things you want to accomplish by a certain time and if it's not done oh well-it will be there tomorrow believe me girlfriend nobody is gonna take it away,but your children you only have so close for so long cherish that take time for that-they will remember all the time you spent with them not how the laundry was always done the house always clean and tidy. big hugs to you
farmgirl#1362 whatever you are be a good one-abe lincoln |
| Simply Ann |
Posted - Nov 17 2010 : 06:39:00 AM
Good for you, stay the course.
There is no set path, follow your heart stay the course. |
| Penny Wise |
Posted - Nov 17 2010 : 03:31:15 AM
big big hugs melanie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Farmgirl # 2139
~*~ counting my pennies and biding my time; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
| Twinsmom |
Posted - Nov 16 2010 : 10:03:34 PM
Melanie,
In life we do tend to get caught up in trying to get everything done. Sometimes I feel the whole world is in a race, and when we get to the finish line we will look back and say, what did I win? You have your priorities right. I am sorry for the childhood you had. As said by Lin, "you broke the cycle". You should be proud. Breaking the cycle is not always easy, but your children will look back with fond and happy memories of their childhood. God is good. The ladies on here are very supportive. Thank you for sharing.
Twinsmom
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| Cindy Lou |
Posted - Nov 16 2010 : 8:03:24 PM
Melanie,
We all need to take time to reflect now and then. When you are just living life day to day its "hard to see the forest for the trees". Sometimes just seeing things in a different light is the catalyst for major change.
That Louise Hart quote is so true. You had to be the adult when you should have had the chance to just be a kid, but you want more for those you love. Alcohol steals so much from whole families.
In my family my Mom's rages were something that literally made me ill. I knew I could never let myself get into those patterns. I don't know if it was partly menopause or mental illness but as much as I loved Mom I also feared her. She threatend suicide many times, she was so powerfully unhappy. I can say that I have managed to keep it together whether by will power or because I inherited more of my dad's temperment.
You mention many areas that you want to change or improve but with wisdom you made your choice. Trusting in God's help about worrying is a tremendous first step that will bring peace to your days and those of your family.
Thank you for sharing your personal challenge. It is a good example for all of us.
Hugs and prayers for accomplishing your goals!
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
| Lin |
Posted - Nov 16 2010 : 7:53:37 PM
Thank you for sharing this, Melanie. Your children are very blessed to have you because you have "broken the cycle". I commend you for your insight and your strength, as well as your focus on what in life is truly important. You've done all this for YOU too, and I send you a huge hug! Lin
"Our beautiful earth is worth saving"!! |
