| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| OneCraftyBugger |
Posted - Jun 25 2010 : 8:21:20 PM
When everyone else's "crap" becomes my crap it gets soooooo over whelming. I am at the piont where I'd like to just pack up, get in the Subarue Forester and never coming back. Sick Mother, Daughter moving back home, house always needing repair or updates, yard work, bills, clients who wont leave me the heck alone, sisters who think their lifes are far more important then everyone elses, my dog is even needy .... Oh god, will it ever end? Why is it that when the phone rings someone either wants or needs something, or its a call from someone wanting to go on about their issue of the day. Anyone else ever feel this way?
Thank for letting me rant.. I'll be all better tommorow.
Oh happy day! Farmgirl sister #1485
http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheFeltedGnome
http://bellasaysitsso.blogspot.com/
http://theswappingcrafter.blogspot.com/ |
| 16 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Jun 28 2010 : 07:11:19 AM
Must be something in the water...after a "series of unfortunate events" yesterday, I almost DID just get in the car and drive off, never to return! It's really been building, but like the other gals say, boundaries are really important. I'm learning that, still...
Take some time for yourself--even if you have to steal away in the middle of the night (I did this very thing, on Saturday--full moon, cool breeze outside--a little bug spray and I sat on the porch-swing and listened to the wind. After a half-hour or so, my mind was quieted and I was ready to return to my slumber.
My frustrating results from a combination of things--feeling overwhelmed with the dirty critters that share my house (why can't a dog (or 4) just stay clean?), a/c being on the fritz (humidity and 92 degrees can make a woman MEAN), and a dh, who, lately, seems to be oblivious to the mess around him--or that he largely contributes TO the mess!
Too many things left undone. Too many piles "to go through" put off for later...and with work, not enough time in the day to accomplish all the "work" at home!
Like I said, must be something in the water. Do something for yourself, even if it's tiny--one little pleasure--paint your toenails, grab a "gourmet coffee"--a little splurge that you usually beg off. I've been making sure to do one little thing for myself during the week (lately, it's been a salt bagel with cream cheese for breakfast from a local European bakery, Servatii's, to the tune of .95 cents) but it's more than I've done in a long time for ME.
So, go get a salt bagel or the equivalent thereof :)
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
| JojoNH |
Posted - Jun 28 2010 : 05:11:29 AM
Hi Robin,
Just wanted to share something my Nana told me just before her passing when I was feeling as you are. . . she said: " You are the strong one, the Rock. . . everyone else comes to you for your strength, compassion, understanding, advise, and most of all your love" That resonates inside me when I am feeling overwhelmed. Makes me smile, gives me strength, reminds me that I am important to all of those who "share" their lives with me. Just remember to take some time for your self to rejuvenate you spirit, even if it means running away for a day or even simply 15 minutes. . . does your soul good!
Big Hugs and lots of positive energy just for you!
Joanna #566
JojoNH
http://www.etsy.com/shop/CountryCents
http://CountryCents.Blogspot.com
http://Twitter.com/Eastwooddesigns |
| oldfashioned girl |
Posted - Jun 27 2010 : 9:34:32 PM
Lin, It generally doesn't accomplish anything, but it does feel good and does help relieve some of the stress that gets built up inside!
Monica
farmgirls rule!
www.justducky48.etsy.com
www.justducky48.blogspot.com
www.duckystreasurechest.etsy.com |
| Lin |
Posted - Jun 27 2010 : 6:59:26 PM
Dear Robin, what you're going through is sooooo heartwrenching, but so many go through it and understandably so. A person takes on so much and we all forget that WE need taking care of sometimes too!! I like Monica's suggestion....find that chair and stand on it and scream "What About Me"????? It'll feel good, if nothing else!! As so many suggested, set boundaries and don't take on other peoples crap! Remember to honor yourself and find your balance. Hugs and prayers, Lin
"Our beautiful earth is worth saving"!! |
| OneCraftyBugger |
Posted - Jun 27 2010 : 6:42:40 PM
Thanks Ladies, for all your insightfull responses... As Grace said, its re assuring to know that I am not the only one who feels like their head is going to blow right off their shoulders at time. :)
Oh happy day! Farmgirl sister #1485
http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheFeltedGnome
http://bellasaysitsso.blogspot.com/
http://theswappingcrafter.blogspot.com/ |
| missgive |
Posted - Jun 27 2010 : 6:38:52 PM
I really want to do this as I am packing it all up to take with me to the mountain farm....take a break, read a magazine article. have a cup of tea, take a nap - turn off the phone first - just find a place or short time away.....I'll be thinking of you as I pack mine to take with me....
Kim (aka missgive)
Proud Farmgirl Sister #927
A Farmgirl Sister headed for my mountain home and farm in 2010. |
| grace gerber |
Posted - Jun 26 2010 : 2:45:43 PM
Such great advise ladies - I thank you Robin for posting this because I was wishing quietly to myself "After all this time - Why can't it just go smoothly"
How in the world can it be nothing but drama in everyone's life? Why don't folks every ask what they might do for me instead of other way round??
I agree I have lost the ability to set boundries, thought maybe if they unburden themselves we could solve the problem but I have learned they really do not want to solve it just to sit in it - tell everyone about it - wait for everyone to turn themselves inside and out and then they continue doing the same things again.
Take the wonderful advice from these smart ladies and I will re read it again to remind myself too. Again, thank you for sharing this because I thought I was the only one with bags half packed and ready to run away.
Grace Gerber
Larkspur Funny Farm and Fiber Art Studio
Where the spirits are high and the fiber is deep
http://www.larkspurfunnyfarm.etsy.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.blogspot.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.artfire.com
|
| oldfashioned girl |
Posted - Jun 26 2010 : 2:05:37 PM
Robin, Hang in there! I can so relate to what you are saying! Between 3 kids and my husband, I have days where I feel like I want to climb onto a chair and scream "WHAT ABOUT ME?". Sometimes I feel like I could not take care of everything for everyone even if there were 10 of me!
I agree with all of the other ladies that sometimes you need to politely say "NO". Take care of yourself and make sure that you do get a break every once in a while!
Monica
farmgirls rule!
www.justducky48.etsy.com
www.justducky48.blogspot.com
www.duckystreasurechest.etsy.com |
| msdoolittle |
Posted - Jun 26 2010 : 11:31:57 AM
Hi Robin,
I agree with all of the posts above! My husband and I are in total agreement about our own time. We have a family who occasionally has some 'drama' going on and we do not participate in the 'drama'. Of course, there are situations where you must be involved to some point, but the key is to set limits on what you will and will not tolerate. We don't get caught up in dramatic things...only once were we forced in the middle of a big family deal and we immediately said: That's it, NO MORE. We're going to work this out here and now and from then on out, we don't want to hear any more about it!
I know it is so hard to delegate things sometimes because, in my own case, I think: If you want something done right, do it yourself. BUT, then you'd be doing everything! I guess my best advice, added to the above advice(s) given is, set limits, and delegate what you can to others, even if they don't do things the way you would. We also own our own business, and people used to call even on weekends about needing things. Guess what, we DO NOT answer our business phone on weekends anymore. If they choose to leave a message, we might listen to it, but unless it is an extreme emergency (and it never is), then we will get back to them on Monday. People act as if their world will collapse if you don't respond. Funny thing is, when we did actually respond to these 'emergencies', those very same people who HAD TO HAVE THIS/THAT BACK TODAY wouldn't come and pick up their stuff DAYS or WEEKS later! And usually they paid late, too!
Take a breather! I know things will get easier.
P.s. Other people's crap only becomes our crap when we ALLOW it to become our crap. Sure, sometimes that isn't the whole case, but don't take on ALL of their crap! :0)
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.wordpress.com |
| CherryPie |
Posted - Jun 26 2010 : 08:22:50 AM
I've walked a mile in your shoes, Robin. It's tough to stay positive. I used to describe it as feeling like butter scraped across too much bread (quoting from Bilbo Baggins). Saying no is a great idea but it isn't always possible, at least in my experience. When you can't say no, try squeezing any time out of your day that can be just for you and treasure it, guard it jealously. You know how on an airplane, passengers are instructed to fix their own oxygen mask before helping someone else, should there be an emergency? Well, that's something to keep in mind - you can't help anybody if you aren't able to breathe. When life feels stifling, find ways to breathe.
If you ever feel like ranting or just want to chat, please send me an email.
Cheers, Kimberly
Kimberly Ann
Farmgirl Sister #225
Crochet Geek, Newbie Fiddler, Would-be Farmer, Backyard Chicken Rancher, Eager Podcaster
http://beesinourbonnetsintheburbs.blogspot.com/
Podcasts at http://thefannyfarm.blogspot.com/ |
| MrsRooster |
Posted - Jun 26 2010 : 08:20:50 AM
I have been there myself. Especially lately.
Take some time to yourself.
Lots of prayers to you.
www.mrsrooster.blogspot.com
Farmgirl #1259
|
| natesgirl |
Posted - Jun 26 2010 : 08:17:23 AM
I understand. I even went so far as to drive 5 states away one time before I found my sanity agian! My aunt takes care of her invalid sister-in-law, they live together. When she needs a vacation she takes her SIL to a nursing home that allows short stay situations. Maybe that is something you need to do with DM if she lives with you and take a break. Even if the break is only 'pretend' and all you do is hole-up at home with the phone shut off for a few days.
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
| Karrieann |
Posted - Jun 26 2010 : 06:34:47 AM
Robin... I hear ya! There have been times that I would just talk out loud to God and say... "Please stop the Earth so that I could get off," Thankfully he listens but does not do what I ask.
(((HUGS)))
The power of No!
Karrieann ~ Farmgirl Sister #766 (29 Sept 2009)
My Blog: ...following my heart, dreams and Jesus
...http://karrieann-followingmyheartandjesus.blogspot.com/
|
| Fiddlehead Farm |
Posted - Jun 26 2010 : 05:25:51 AM
Many of us are "too good for our own good". You need to set boundaries and learn the word NO. Maybe hop in the Subaru and take a mini escape-just drive out to the country and recharge your batteries a little. We are all guilty of this, but I am a lot healthier now that I learned the word NO.
Age only matters if you are wine or cheese.
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922 |
| sherrye |
Posted - Jun 25 2010 : 9:18:40 PM
teresa is right. take your power back say no. Mrs. Rosevelt said only those you give the power to can control your life. take your power back. i used to tell my kids mom and dad need to make some love so we can share with you. i would tell my friends i need to take care of me today so i can be a good friend tomorrow. happy days sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
|
| 1badmamawolf |
Posted - Jun 25 2010 : 8:24:27 PM
I'm sorry, life can realy suck sometimes, but, learn to use the word "NO", with conviction, people can only use you if you let them, you don't always need to be the nice guy, you have a life also, live it...
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
|
|
