| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| maggie14 |
Posted - May 05 2010 : 12:38:25 PM
Hi Farmgirls! I just thought I would post a daily joke for you all. These are some of my favorites and I hope over the weeks and months that these jokes will make you laugh.
Here is todays joke.
A young boy had just
gotten his driving permit.
He asked his father,
who was a minister,
if they could discuss his use
of the family car.
His father said to him,
"I'll make a deal with you.
You bring your grades up,
study your bible a little,
and get your hair cut,
then we will talk about it."
A month later the boy came back
and again asked his father if
they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said, "Son,
I'm real proud of you.
You have brought your grades up,
you've studied your bible diligently,
but you didn't get a hair cut!"
The young man waited a moment
and replied, "You know dad,
I've been thinking about that.
You know Samson had long hair,
Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair,
and even Jesus had long hair."
His father replied,
"Yes son,
and they walked everywhere they went!"
Hugs!
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| mscountrygirl |
Posted - May 25 2010 : 6:57:18 PM
Very cute! It made me laugh out loud!
It's all good!
http://mscountrygirl.blogspot.com/ |
| knittinchick |
Posted - May 25 2010 : 3:39:27 PM
Lol! Cute! Channah, thank you for bringing me a little chuckle before track practice!
God's Blessings,
Megan aka Loretta Rae
At heart, I am both a sassy city girl and a down-home country gal. |
| maggie14 |
Posted - May 25 2010 : 07:05:09 AM
Todays Joke!!
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting together for Christmas, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes."
The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter,
Mom sent out her letters of thanks:
"Dear Milton," she wrote one son, "The house you built is too huge. I live in only one room, but I have to keep the whole house clean!"
"Dear Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay at home most of the time, so I rarely use the Mercedes."
"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "You have the good sense to know what your Mother likes.
The chicken was Dee-licious!"
hugs!
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
| maggie14 |
Posted - May 24 2010 : 12:13:47 PM
Thank you so much Marcy!
Here is todays.
Hugs,
Channah
Actual Flubbed Headlines
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
| Marcy |
Posted - May 14 2010 : 11:33:08 AM
Our dear Channah,
Thank you so very much for posting these. My Oreo (my pomeranian) is looking at me as if I have gone and lost my mind because I am laughing so much.
Farmgirl #170
Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give...Eleanor Roosevelt
http://marcysworldofcreativity.blogspot.com/
|
| maggie14 |
Posted - May 14 2010 : 10:33:41 AM
I'm so glad you liked it Megan. :) Here is todays jokes. These are real bumper stickers that are found on cars. lol
More Bumper Stickers
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I love cats … they taste just like chicken.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.
Don’t blame me, I’m from Uranus.
Your kid may be an honor student but you’re still an IDIOT!
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
When there’s a will, I want to be in it!
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?
Hugs,
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
| knittinchick |
Posted - May 13 2010 : 7:48:30 PM
That's a good one Channah! Blonde jokes are always funny, but sometimes not very nice! But this one is funny!
God's Blessings,
Megan aka Loretta Rae
At heart, I am both a sassy city girl and a down-home country gal. |
| maggie14 |
Posted - May 13 2010 : 7:31:40 PM
I am so sorry ladies that I have not posted any jokes. :( Been super busy! Here is todays joke!
Stairway to Heaven
A redhead, brunette and blonde were on their way to Heaven.
God told them the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and on every 5th step He’d tell them a joke. But, they must not laugh or else they couldn’t enter heaven.
The brunette went first and started laughing on the 65th step, so she could not enter Heaven.
The redhead went next and started laughing on the 320th step, so she could not enter Heaven either.
Then, it was the blonde’s turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing.
“Why are you laughing?” God asked. “I didn’t tell a joke.”
“I know,” the blonde replied. “I just got the first one.”
Hugs,
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
| sherrye |
Posted - May 09 2010 : 11:05:44 AM
thanks channah sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farmgirl #1014
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| knittinchick |
Posted - May 09 2010 : 10:52:08 AM
That's cute Channah! I enjoy these jokes! Thanks for bringing a little laugh into our days!
God's Blessings,
Megan aka Loretta Rae
At heart, I am both a sassy city girl and a down-home country gal. |
| maggie14 |
Posted - May 08 2010 : 4:36:54 PM
ok here is todays joke. lol I thought it was funny.
Thanksgiving Practical Joke
Last Thanksgiving, my mom decided to play a trick on my sister (who's blonde). To get her out of the house, she convinced her that we needed more half and half for the coffee.
While my sister was out, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, then put it inside the turkey, packing stuffing all around it. She then put the turkey back in the oven.
When everything was ready, my sister took the turkey out of the oven and began to remove the stuffing. When she felt something, she reached in and pulled out the Cornish hen.
Pretending to be shocked, by mother exclaimed, "Patti, you've cooked a pregnant turkey!"
My sister began to cry and was inconsolable. It took us half an hour to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!
Hugs,
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
| knittinchick |
Posted - May 08 2010 : 12:12:05 PM
That is one good joke Channah! I'll have to tell that to my grandparents! My grandpa will sure have something to say about that one.
God's Blessings,
Megan aka Loretta Rae
At heart, I am both a sassy city girl and a down-home country gal. |
| maggie14 |
Posted - May 07 2010 : 6:31:09 PM
You know, it just makes my day knowing I made someone laugh. Thank you ladies for reading the jokes I post and for making my day!
Hugs!
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
| sherrye |
Posted - May 07 2010 : 4:33:16 PM
ya yipee, i am tired and now i have had my laugh. FEELS GOOD thanks channah happy days sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farmgirl #1014
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| sw80689 |
Posted - May 07 2010 : 2:42:09 PM
Oh my gosh, Channah, my sides are hurting my laughing:) Laughter is the best medicine after a long week. Thanks for sharing these! The church bloopers are a hoot! I have seen some funny ones, too!!
Hugs,
Sharon
Farmgirl Sister #1393
*We are all angels with one wing, the only way to fly, therefore is to embrace one another* |
| maggie14 |
Posted - May 07 2010 : 07:57:53 AM
Here is another joke that I thought was kinda funny. lol
Bedside Manners
Susie's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months. Things looked grim, but she was by his bedside every single day. One day as he slipped back into consciousness, he motioned for her to come close to him. She pulled the chair close to the bed and leaned her ear close to be able to hear him.
"You know" he whispered, his eyes filling with tears, "you have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you stuck right beside me. When my business went under, there you were. When we lost the house, you were there. When I got shot, you stuck with me. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. "And you know what?"
"What, dear?" she asked gently, smiling to herself.
"I think you're bad luck."
Hugs!
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
| ddmashayekhi |
Posted - May 07 2010 : 07:29:19 AM
That was very cute Channah! Thanks for the laugh!
Dawn in IL |
| Cowgirl Cocinera |
Posted - May 06 2010 : 5:47:36 PM
Thanks for sharing with us Channah. Those were great!
Cowgirl cookin' makes you good lookin' |
| maggie14 |
Posted - May 06 2010 : 12:20:09 PM
It sure was a good thing I was alone when I first read them Sherry. I was laughing so hard I almost wet my pants. lol
Glad you all liked them.
Hugs,
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
| sherrye |
Posted - May 06 2010 : 12:07:52 PM
oh help me please. i am laughing out loud. my yorkie is looking at me like i lost my mind. very good channah lol over again. gonna look tomorrow you started something now. happy days sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farmgirl #1014
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| maggie14 |
Posted - May 06 2010 : 11:35:53 AM
Ok I found some more church bloopers! I just love these things! And farmgirls, these are not ment to offended anyone. These are just mistakes that chruch women made. Enjoy!
Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.
If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collection basket.
Nov. 11: An evening of boweling at Lincoln Country Club.
Women's Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication.
Karen's beautiful solo: "It is Well With My Solo."
Congratulations to Tim and Ronda on the birth of their daughter October 12 thru 17.
If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.
We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector.
Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford."
Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be water baptized on the table in the foyer.
Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight.
Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.
The Advent Retreat will be held in the lover level of St. Mary's Cathedral.
The District Duperintendent will be meeting with the church boared.
As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing.
Fifth Sinday is Lent.
Thank you, dead friends.
Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
Lent is a period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter.
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits.
For the word of God is quick and powerful...piercing even to the dividing asunder of soup and spirit.
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peach to men.
Definition: Persons who are shut-in during bath weather.
Bring one dozen coolies wrapped for Christmas.
The lovers in the exhaust fan are not working.
Volunteers are needed to spit up food.
Head Deacon and Dead Deaconess
We pray that our people will jumble themselves.
Hugs!!
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
| patchworkpeace |
Posted - May 06 2010 : 11:21:11 AM
Hehe! Cute.
Success is measured not by the position one reaches but by the obstacles one has to overcome to reach it. Booker T. Washington |
| miss kris |
Posted - May 06 2010 : 08:41:45 AM
I loved it!!!! And I need a laugh!! Thanks Channah! Kris : )
For I know the plans I have for you...Jer.29:11 |
| natesgirl |
Posted - May 05 2010 : 10:03:34 PM
That is funny! I've sent it to everyone I could think to send it to! LOL!
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
| knittinchick |
Posted - May 05 2010 : 6:58:57 PM
Cute! This made me lol! Thanks Channah!
God's Blessings,
Megan aka Loretta Rae
At heart, I am both a sassy city girl and a down-home country gal. |
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