| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Merry |
Posted - May 04 2010 : 12:36:16 PM
Cleaning up and cleaning out, and I have a box of goodies, tuck-type goodies to give away.
If you would like to be considered, make me laugh.
Just make me laugh.
Whoever makes me outright "guffaw" wins!
Merry
Farmgirl #536
http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/
Your life is an occasion, rise to it. Mr. Magorium |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| melody |
Posted - May 10 2010 : 12:48:12 PM
I know I am late....but after reading the posts I have to add my 2-cents worth.
A fellow at church lost his wife after dealing with her very long intense illness. She was completely dependent on him. At the wake he came up front to sing a song in rememberence of her. The song was "Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen."
Melody
Farmgirl #525
www.melodynotes-melodynotes.blogspot.com
www.lemonverbenasoap.etsy.com
www.longtallsallys.etsy.com
http://farmgirlhistory.blogspot.com/ |
| bobbinrobin |
Posted - May 10 2010 : 11:00:32 AM
Got my little goodie package today. Yes ... I was crowned Queen of the Kitchen, but I abdicated the throne years ago!! Thanx so much friend, Sharon
How beautiful a day can be when kindness touches it. -G. Elliston
www.sharnymcclarny.etsy.com
www.bobbinrobin.etsy.com |
| Merry |
Posted - May 07 2010 : 08:51:21 AM
Oh no Mikki Jo, funny church stories are great!
Merry
Farmgirl #536
http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/
Your life is an occasion, rise to it. Mr. Magorium |
| Mikki |
Posted - May 07 2010 : 08:46:05 AM
Channah, funny is funny lol Glad you won! I was a little late on this one anyway.
~~Blessings, Mikki Jo
"Courage is being scared to death... but saddling up anyway" ***John Wayne
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/iloveyoumom
http://burningmeadowsprings.blogspot.com/
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| Merry |
Posted - May 07 2010 : 08:18:25 AM
Oh mikki too funny!
Merry
Farmgirl #536
http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/
Your life is an occasion, rise to it. Mr. Magorium |
| maggie14 |
Posted - May 07 2010 : 07:55:16 AM
oh my goodness Mikki that is sooo funny!!! lol I think one of you ladies should take my spot because you all shared a joke that really happened and I just copied and pasted some of my favorite jokes. Just a thought....
Hugs!
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
| Mikki |
Posted - May 06 2010 : 9:09:08 PM
Ooop added my funny story before I saw you had picked winners. Thanks! I enjoyed it anyway lol
~~Blessings, Mikki Jo
"Courage is being scared to death... but saddling up anyway" ***John Wayne
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/iloveyoumom
http://burningmeadowsprings.blogspot.com/
|
| Mikki |
Posted - May 06 2010 : 9:01:01 PM
Ok, when I was BIG and pregnant we were in church and hubby was playing guitar and singing an old gospel tune, the lyrics were "I walked in and sat down and something got hold of me, oh something got hold of me", I was standing at the pew kinda clapping my hands and my back was killing me. So I and my big belly slowly and awkwardly went to sit down on the pew. My rump had barely touched the seat, when I came up outa the seat and ran down the aisle slinging the back of my dress tail with my hand. Old brother Bud hollered "Hallelujah Sister". I ran to the bathroom.... Something got ahold of me alright. A bee had flew up my dress and stung me right on the rump. But ol Brother Bud was oblivious to this, he just kept right on shouting rofl My sister ran to the bathroom after me, she thought I'd went in to labor. When I told her what happened she laughed so hard. There we were in the bathroom with her looking at my rump. I was so embarrassed to go back out and sit down. Needless to say I sat sidegoggled the rest of the night, on one side of my rump.
~~Blessings, Mikki Jo
"Courage is being scared to death... but saddling up anyway" ***John Wayne
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/iloveyoumom
http://burningmeadowsprings.blogspot.com/
|
| Sue Feely |
Posted - May 06 2010 : 11:26:31 AM
This too, is a true story of which my mother-in-law reminded me of just yesteday. About six years ago my husbands aunt lived with my mother in law and Aunt Gertie and my mother in law were getting new glasses, after a couple of weeks aunt Gertie told my mother in law that she liked her glasses better than her own new ones. (these women are both in their late 80's at this time)
My mother in law is legally blind so her glasses really don't help but anyway; a year or so later Aunt Gertie passed away. After a few days my mother in law stated that her glasses were not "working so well." My husband looked at her more closely and said "Thats because you are wearing Aunt Gerties glasses!!!
My mother in law (straight my Ireland) in her finest brogue quipped "Gertie got her wish after all; she went away with my glasses." (Aunt Gertie was buried with the glasses that she preferred! |
| Merry |
Posted - May 06 2010 : 10:10:55 AM
cari, email me with your address, okay?
Merry
Farmgirl #536
http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/
Your life is an occasion, rise to it. Mr. Magorium |
| Merry |
Posted - May 06 2010 : 10:01:12 AM
Okay! Still laughing at a few of you, and you all are so good, I have to award 3 boxes and an honorable mention.
1st prize cause I did actually guffaw - carishumaker
2nd prize cause I laughed out loud, and I mean loud - Natesgirl
3rd prize cause by the time I finished I was giggling so hard I had tears - channah/Maggie
Honorable mention to bobbinrobin for just making me laugh!
All of you are hilarious and thank you for lifting up my week.
I will email the winners for their address and put their prizes in the mail ASAP!
Thank you ladies!
Merry
Farmgirl #536
http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/
Your life is an occasion, rise to it. Mr. Magorium |
| Merry |
Posted - May 06 2010 : 12:01:29 AM
Thank you delicia! Used batiks, and really enjoyed making that quilt.
Merry
Farmgirl #536
http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/
Your life is an occasion, rise to it. Mr. Magorium |
| delicia |
Posted - May 05 2010 : 12:58:12 PM
Merry, I just checked out your blog and I love the quilt you did for your friend. I really like the dark colors. You do really nice work.
delicia |
| levisgrammy |
Posted - May 05 2010 : 11:03:59 AM
Oh Channah those are too funny!
"All you need is faith, trust and......a liitle bit of pixie dust" ~Peter Pan |
| Merry |
Posted - May 05 2010 : 10:41:10 AM
Sure! But competition is getting fierce!
Merry
Farmgirl #536
http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/
Your life is an occasion, rise to it. Mr. Magorium |
| Old Spirit |
Posted - May 05 2010 : 10:39:26 AM
The innocence of children, my grandsons got in the car the other day and the older (10) said his brother was crabby today cause he is going through puberty!!!
Can I be counted in??
Rae
Farm Girl #647
...those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles:...
Isaiah 40:31
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| maggie14 |
Posted - May 05 2010 : 10:33:58 AM
oh dear Merry. These are all so funny! I don't know how you will choose a winner. lol
Hugs!
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
| Merry |
Posted - May 05 2010 : 10:30:00 AM
Okay, a few of you took me past guffaw into crying a little...
Merry
Farmgirl #536
http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/
Your life is an occasion, rise to it. Mr. Magorium |
| maggie14 |
Posted - May 05 2010 : 10:24:00 AM
ok I have to join in. lol These are some of my favorite church bloopers. lol Even if I don't win I hope this makes some people laugh.
Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
2. Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
3. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
4. Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall - Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
5. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
6. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
8. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
9. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
10. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
11. Next Thursday there will be try outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
12. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
13. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: " Break Forth Into Joy."
14. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
15. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
16. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
17. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
18. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
19. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
20. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
21. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
22. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
23. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
24. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
25. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
26. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
27. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
28. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
29. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
30. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday
Hugs!
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
| bobbinrobin |
Posted - May 05 2010 : 10:13:31 AM
That was funny!!! It made me laugh out loud, Delicia.
How beautiful a day can be when kindness touches it. -G. Elliston
www.sharnymcclarny.etsy.com
www.bobbinrobin.etsy.com |
| delicia |
Posted - May 05 2010 : 10:01:52 AM
I have a true story. When I was in the 3rd grade a little boy dared me to put the hook end of an umbrella in my mouth well unfortunately for my mother I had to respond to the dare. I got it in with no problem but, getting it out was another story. I guess my jaws locked when I got it in and it was not going to budge to come out. They took me to the principal and called my Mom to come for me. Here she was embarresed to the nth degree had to get me and drive me home and people were all looking as we drove by them. I hope this is funny it may be funnier when I tell it in person.
delicia |
| homsteddinmom |
Posted - May 05 2010 : 08:48:49 AM
I love this fellow, my Doctor!
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
Homesteading Mom in East Texas. Raising chickens, Rabbits and goats here on my farm! |
| carishumaker |
Posted - May 05 2010 : 08:44:33 AM
my little neice was about 7 yo and in the van with my sister, she was picking her nose. My sister told her, "hunny, don't do that, get a kleenex but don't pick your nose." My neice said, "I wasn't picking my nose, I was scratching it, I only ever scratch it. I don't pick my nose, mommy!" "OK" said the mama. A few minutes later she said, "mommy, sometimes I eat my scratch."
That has had my whole family rolling for a really long time now. |
| Merry |
Posted - May 05 2010 : 08:29:58 AM
Oh you people are funny! I think I may have to give away more than one box!
Merry
Farmgirl #536
http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/
Your life is an occasion, rise to it. Mr. Magorium |
| Melbick |
Posted - May 05 2010 : 07:23:27 AM
Sharon that was bad but good. it made me laugh
Melanie Bickham
FarmGirl Sister #1475
Homegrown Girls
http://thebickhamfamily.blogspot.com/ |
