| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| prairie_princess |
Posted - Feb 24 2010 : 3:07:15 PM
since moving to the country and living in a new state for some time, i still have time getting out there and making friends! it gets me down at times.... i was going to college for awhile and that helped get me out there and i met some awesome people. problem is, my closest friends moved away and the others just seem so busy with family life, having kids.
i thought it would be easy to make friends after we were settled in a place because i wouldn't be the one moving around like i did in the navy. but it still seems people are moving all the time, especially due to the economy. people move because of jobs. plus, it seems many people don't like this country life, so they move, too!
i live in a small town and most residents here are of retired age. and i've come across some age prejudice. and i have a feeling it might be part of the problem why people stay away... when we moved here, no one came over to say hi or introduce themselves, yet everyone knew who we were and that we were new to town. so now that's it's been a few years of living here, i don't know how to make friends with those who have lived in town for awhile. i don't know if it's ok to just go to someone's house, knock on the door, and be like "hi! do you want to be friends?" i feel i need an ice breaker.
i've thought of taking some summer classes, like quilting, sewing, or something where i know the people i meet will have a similar interest. but that all depends on time and money. it's tough when you don't live in town, don't go to work or college!
so, how do YOU make friends? or maybe it just comes in time? it will happen when it happens? i love my DH, but he can't meet every social need!
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| prairie_princess |
Posted - Mar 26 2010 : 10:29:22 AM
Robin, thank you so much for your well-wishes and prayers! This forum is an excellent source to build relationships... I think we could write self-help books with all the wonderful advice women share on here! SO many great ideas!
Kristen, maybe we should form a "shy farmgirls" club on here... It is a shame some of us are shy. I don't really consider it a flaw, really. Everyone is different in their own way. But sometimes we do miss out on certain things. I think it is a quality to be meek at times... we are more mysterious that way! And I agree, we do need girl time! Guys just can't meet all of our womanly needs.
Now, an update on my status... So, I went to visit a local lady in my small town to chit chat about starting a homemaking/craft club for the local ladies. I was very surprised to discover how many grudges people are holding! How many enemies people make! It is such a shame to me that we live in this small town of 100 people and the townspeople don't have any interest in getting together as a community because of grudges and small piddly things of that nature. Most of this town is made up of retirees, but I guess more younger generations are moving in. I'd hate to think some of the older generations' last years might be spent staying at home and not being a part of the town because of these things! I'd like to get to know them, they should be passing on their advice to us! Getting us involved in the town, how to take care of it and be proud of it... I feel a bit let down by all of it. But it's also motivating me to want to do more! So that's a good thing....
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
| krissy |
Posted - Mar 25 2010 : 3:38:37 PM
Wow, this is a thread I could have started as well. It seems a lot of us have trouble meeting new people and making friends. I, too, tend to be on the shy side and usually am not the one to start a conversation with a stranger.
I am lucky to be part of a church that has a lot of people I enjoy and I actually am thinking about having some of the girls over. You see, all my friends that I have known for a long time have all moved away. I am always around my own family - never have friends over and that's pathetic! Time to branch out of my little house/world and have some girl time. Living in a house with three guys (hubby and boys) gets a little old...
**************************************
~Farmgirl Sister #986~
http://lateinlifemommy.blogspot.com/
http://www.youravon.com/kristenparkinson |
| birdie71 |
Posted - Mar 25 2010 : 2:08:00 PM
Elizabeth,
I'm sorry that you feeling this way! I do have to say that there is a lot of fantastic advice here! AND I feel like I know a lot of the girls here only because of first, through my mom's connection and then through the latest shower of love I got from a bunch of the girls here. I'm sure that this is an avenue of building relationships!
I do know that it is difficult to have your closest girlfriends far away...my mom lives in Colorado! We do talk, text, email constantly!
My husband is a triathlete and is part of a club! I go to several events with him and have made several friends that way...course this club he's in is well connected group! It is a family of it's own accord!
I also have a handful of close friends through church! We are part of a group of couples who have blended families! This is also a very well connected group...LOTS of grace and understanding! We text, call, email, meet, and pray for each other!
My work as a teacher has also lended itself to a connection with other teachers. I currently work at a very small charter school and it is very family oriented! We are also very connected! A lot of this is probably surviving together!
I would suggest finding those places/activities that interest you...and see what comes about as you go and do!
Hang in there girl! I will be praying for you!
Robin
Teacher looking for water in the Sonoran Desert |
| prairie_princess |
Posted - Mar 22 2010 : 6:45:11 PM
Beth, that's a cute idea to deliver a nice little hello note to the neighbors in their mailbox... maybe invite them over for afternoon tea? :)
Kristin, I LOVE the story of your neighbor delivering his carrots... such a nice, neighborly thing to do! Yes, nature does offer a lot of company.... But there's just nothing like a good girl's day to put you right! my DH is also my best friend and all my other women best friends live somewhere else. But to do something in person with someone is truly special... there can be no comparison at times to sit down with someone face to face and share a special moment. But pen pals and online farmgirls are the next best thing! :)
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
| barnagainkristin |
Posted - Mar 21 2010 : 7:43:47 PM
Elizabeth,
So happy you are now finding friendship where you live. I live in an area where people are very invovlved in church and if you don't go you are pretty much left out. I do have a few friends which that doesn't matter to, but for the most part my daughters and husband are my very best friends. I think that's why I love farmgirls so much. Wish we lived closer and could have a cup of tea together and talk farmgirl stuff.
One of my favorite neighbors is an older gentleman who wears overalls, walks everyday, and is about 6'5" tall. He has helped us find our lost pony, runaway peacock, and anything else we have needed. Last fall he walked up and down the road with his wheel barrel full of homegrown carrots and delivered every neighbor a bunch of fresh carrots. He is the one person I know in my area who is friends with everyone around. If you plant a garden you may want to try planting something your neighbors may not have and delivering like our good neighbor did. It still brings a smile to my face when I think of him walking down the sidewalk pushing all those carrots.
I tend to enjoy the company of my animals and when I feel lonely nature always makes me feel better. You just can't be lonely in a grove of ancient pines.
Best Wishes in finding even more friends. I think the idea of having the older women teach you things is wonderful. Glad you have farmgirl friends no matter what!
barnagainkristin
"Others Before Self" |
| MotherLodeBeth |
Posted - Mar 21 2010 : 7:19:33 PM
Moving to a rural area can be hard. Spring and summer seem to be the best time to connect with new neighbors. If they have a mail box, send them a nice note saying hello and who you are. This way they can call or stop by if they feel comfortable. Also connect with people via the local feed store, 4 H groups, library, and other country related places. Read the local newspaper and volunteer for special causes in the community. If there is a notice of a special cause to raise money for a local family, go. ~Beth~
~I am the best of France and California~ |
| solilly |
Posted - Mar 21 2010 : 5:58:39 PM
I am so glad it is working out for you Elizabeth. Life is to short and there are to many things to do and learn to let shyness be in your way. I was shy as a school kid. At the end of high school I told my self the difference between me and the popular girls was I hid they stayed up front. So I said what is the worst thing that can happen to you so people may laugh just laugh back. Start talking about things you like, or would like and people open up. I am 56 right now and my dh says can we ever go anywhere where you do not know someone. I talk to people every where I go. It is great. Love ya Lilly 
learning the life I always wanted. |
| SuzieQ |
Posted - Mar 21 2010 : 4:00:51 PM
When we moved to north Dallas. I met some people in church. I also checked at the bookstores, churches, and city library to see if there were any knitting groups that meet. I found two and they are free and some of the women have taught me stitches that I did not know. That helped me alot. Check out the quilt, knitting, and craft stores to any groups that meet. Also don't forget the senior citizen center there are always groups with them. |
| graciegreeneyes |
Posted - Mar 21 2010 : 3:52:21 PM
Oh my goodness - I could have written the last two posts - I am shy and always feel awkward talking to people unless I have a "reason" like kids, work, etc. I feel silly introducing myself to people who have been acquaintances for a while. Kimberly Ann - like you I think I come off aloof or something. One close friend I had years ago told me I was hard to get to know, which is weird because I feel like I put everything right out there on the table. Anyway - I'm lucky because there is a fellow MJF farmgirl right in my little town.
I know the church setting used to be fruitful for making friends because people were working for a common cause - we seem to have lost that feeling in society in general. This forum definitely provides that for me but you still need the face to face interaction.
Good luck to you both:)
Amy Grace
Farmgirl #224
"use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without"
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| prairie_princess |
Posted - Mar 21 2010 : 2:21:37 PM
Good luck to you Kimberly Ann! It is hard when you're shy... I'm one of those shy people! And I feel the same way, like I'm aloof, clumsy, and I've even heard that some people view shy people as "stuck-up" because we don't talk to people right away... Sometimes I feel it's not fair that we would be seen that way, but I suppose I can see that point of view... I like to feel people out before I start chatting, it's just the way I am. Unless I do have chemistry with someone right away, and that's always wonderful, but usually pretty rare.
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
| CherryPie |
Posted - Mar 21 2010 : 10:42:04 AM
Oh Elizabeth, I am right with you! I don't want to sound desperate but I could really use some like-minded friends to share time with and just have fun. I have never been great at making friends, I'm shy and I think I come off as aloof or maybe too intense. I really hope I can get to some classes or events this summer that will help me meet new folks but my experience has been that those kind of things seem to spawn acquaintances that don't seem to "stick" as friendships. Here's hoping that this summer will bloom with friendships for us all!
Kimberly Ann
Farmgirl Sister #225
Crochet Geek, Newbie Fiddler, Would-be Farmer, Backyard Chicken Rancher, Eager Podcaster
http://beesinourbonnetsintheburbs.blogspot.com/
Podcasts at http://thefannyfarm.blogspot.com/ |
| prairie_princess |
Posted - Mar 21 2010 : 10:04:06 AM
Just wanted to post an update... I feel like after I posted this inquiry everything has been coming together as far as meeting people!
Audrey and I have gotten together twice now and write e-mails to each other just about every day... I'm so ecstatic to have met her! All I can think about is all the fun things we can do together and how much we already connect!
It seems her interests and enthusiasm have spurred me to become more outgoing... so I got out there and chatted with a local lady (who really should be the ultimate farmgirl... she's written books about her exciting country life!) and offered myself up for any volunteer work she might have. She was delighted, and she showed interest in starting up a local quilting or craft club! Which would be an awesome way to meet people! Who knows... maybe Audrey passed it onto me, and then I passed it onto another woman who was just itching to get together and meet new farmgirl friends! Wish us luck!
And thank you to all of you gals suggestions and stories on meeting people and making friends!
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
| MrsRooster |
Posted - Mar 09 2010 : 10:50:49 AM
I am new to Texas. All my friends and family are 1300 miles away. So I am having a hard time also. I don't speak Spanish, so that can be a big barrier too. I came from a small town. It is very different living on the outskirts of Houston, TX.
I can't seem to find anyone with similar interests. I found a great church. That helps some. I go to a ladies study and Lunch Bunch.
But I am a stay at home Mom. So I spend most days puttering around the house. Bri goes to pre-K Mon - Fri 7:15 - 2:45. I do alot of needlework and read lots of books. Most of my time is spent with my hubby and daughter.
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| farmallgrl |
Posted - Mar 03 2010 : 6:11:53 PM
Well I still live in the small town where I grew up. For a while I worked as a hairdresser outside of my town and met a lot of people but never really any "friendships" as I did not like mixing business with pleasure. Now that i have been at home for 7 years, I too find it hard to make friends. Many of the people I attended high school with still live in the area, however I find that they have become completely different people and not really my "friends" anymore. So I have made friends with people older than me as they appreciate the simple life we have chosen to live. I find that some of the elderly women are eager to share stories and tradition with me to pass along. I will never forget the older lady who offered to give me spinning lessons. She was just sooo excited that a young woman would want to learn. She has since taken ill, but my point is to take classes and for that matter risks to introduce yourself. Sometimes it just takes a nice act of kindness and a listening ear:)
Angela
Farmgirl Sister #337
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| acairnsmom |
Posted - Mar 03 2010 : 07:46:30 AM
Elizabeth, the internet has been down at work so I'm just know being able to reply. I sent you an email.
Audrey
Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! |
| Faransgirl |
Posted - Mar 02 2010 : 6:54:18 PM
Ok, for me I lived here for about 6 years before I met anyone. Then I started to do volunteer work, first at the elementary school, then at girl scouts then I went to work for the local Horse rescue and I have met some really really great people that I know have become friends for life. You don't have to have girls to volunteer for girl scouts, there are dog, cat and other rescues all over the country. If it is something you like then there are people that have the same interests you do. Also, the classes in sewing, knitting etc are a great idea.
Farmgirl Sister 572
When manure happens just say "WOO HOO Fertilizer". |
| Maryjane Lee |
Posted - Mar 02 2010 : 10:51:20 AM
I have found over the years being involved in my church and community has brought treasured friendships! Also, I have made darling friends through MJF and blogging! Strong, cherished friendships!
Friendship is a blessing from God! xox
Hugs!
Maryjane Lee
Farmgirl #44
http://thebeehivecottage.blogspot.com
http://sweetsassysadielee.blogspot.com
http://beehivecottage.etsy.com
http://sassysadielee.etsy.com |
| prairie_princess |
Posted - Mar 02 2010 : 08:59:44 AM
Audrey, I just wanted to let you know I e-mailed you, so let me know if you receive it! you never know with these computers....
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
| prairie_princess |
Posted - Feb 26 2010 : 3:38:13 PM
audrey, i do remember you! i was actually thinking of getting in contact with you, but forgot which thread we'd chatted about you moving up here.... i'd love to get together... i'll e-mail you!
it's funny, as i was cleaning today i was thinking about all of you gals advice... how i can go about meeting people. i think i'm getting my motivation and courage up to go meet some townsfolk... we just cleaned out our basement and reorganized our food supply. i have lots of good canned goods that we don't need anymore since replacing them with home canned goods and dried goods and lots of toys... there is a family in town, a mom with 7 young girls who's dad is in prison, who i think could use some of these goods, so i think i'll take it over there and invite the mom over for coffee.... i'll let you know how i do!
one question i had, similar to your story, Lorie, is if you meet someone in town and feel you'd like to get to know them better, how do you go about asking them out on a "friend date?" it seems silly at times... but i feel it could be a good way to meet a friend.
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
| maggie14 |
Posted - Feb 26 2010 : 09:35:40 AM
You ladies have the best addvice!!
Hugs
Channah
Friendship is not something that can be bought, it is earned. |
| countrymum |
Posted - Feb 26 2010 : 09:11:41 AM
Elizabeth,the best way to make friends is by doing what you like and having a common interest with them.
For example,one of my best friends works at the local feed store. One day she had on a beautiful pin and i complimented her on it. we struck up a conversation of how she makes them out of unused jewelry and likes to craft. who knew i would make a friend by just going to buy birdseed?
the point is keep doing what you like and you will make friends when you are least expecting it.
"Life is brief & very fragile. Do that which makes you happy."- Flavia |
| acairnsmom |
Posted - Feb 26 2010 : 08:24:48 AM
Elizabeth, I don't know if you remember me but I chatted with you some last year. I lived in Littleton Colorado at that time but DH was working in Cheyenne. I got to move up with him last November and keep trying to catch you on the forum but always have seemed to miss you.
I would love to get together with you sometime. I'm working 3/4 time now but I think I could take some time off and we could get together and do something farmgirly. I know you're much younger than I am. I'm soon to be 55, with lots of gray hair and years of soft living has made me out of shape and fat! LOL, that sounded like one of those online dating services! But, I think we have lot's of common interests. I'd love to come out and see your place and maybe we could get together this summer and do some canning or jam making and who knows maybe we could get a local chapter up and running (although it looks like it's just you and me right now)! Unfortunately today, DH and I are heading to Walden CO on business and I only have internet access at work so won't see if your reply until Monday but I wanted to catch you on a recent post. You can reply back on this topic or email me (or not...)
Audrey
Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! |
| solilly |
Posted - Feb 26 2010 : 08:14:16 AM
Elizabeth, I feel for you but some times you have to reach out to others. We do not live in the 40's, 50's or 60's. anymore. Most people all work and do not want to do anything when they get off work. If you grow or do things I have found out that helps. One year we had a very large watermelon crop I gave them to nebors that do not make themselve known. The following year our pumkin crop was great I made pumkin bread and gave it out. I love Christmas so I invite nebors and friends to bring a covered dish to see my decor. It is what we put in to it as to what we get out of it. Life is not always what we want. Just do what you can and it will work out. I myself like being home after being in the work force 40 years. Lilly
learning the life I always wanted. |
| prairie_princess |
Posted - Feb 25 2010 : 4:51:25 PM
thanks for all of your advice and ideas!
from what i've heard, it seems most of the people in this town are kind of hermits as well... so we are all hermits together! i do like your idea, Mary Jane... that's a great opening line "i've lived here for awhile and we've never had the chance to meet." i think that shall do the trick. people have come up to us while we were outside working, but for the most part, they acted a bit nosy. so those friendships didn't bloom. i am lucky my direct neighbor across the street and i do meet up on a regular basis... i've hinted to her to maybe introduce me to some of the townspeople, but it hasn't happened yet.
i'm not much of a church going gal, but i do occasionally chat with the preacher and his wife and helped them out last summer. we don't have any businesses in town, which is part of the problem. just the volunteer fire dept. and post office. so there's no where to meet people. and the closest town is 30 miles away and we don't go into town very much in order to save money and save on gas.
annika, like you, i'm shy, too! it is always something to work on... i have thought of volunteering, but, like i mentioned, we don't go into town all that often. i'm hoping the town will have some events this summer i can be a part of.
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
| MBurns |
Posted - Feb 25 2010 : 4:36:19 PM
This is a good website to make friends. It is not easy to make friends in a neighborhood. Volunteering and taking classes are a good idea.
Happiness is having
farmgirl friends. |
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