| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| pinkroses |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 09:01:11 AM
How can I be less sensitive to what people say to me
How can I harden my heart to the hurtful things they say too.
hugs sheila
www.ohkayteagirl2.blogspot.com
http;//www.sheilascreativewritings.blogspot.com |
| 16 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| CherryPie |
Posted - Jan 18 2010 : 4:37:49 PM
I'm going to check out the book you recommended, Kim. It sounds like something I could use in my life too.
Cheers, Kimberly
Kimberly Ann
Farmgirl Sister #225
Crochet Geek, Newbie Fiddler, Would-be Farmer, Backyard Chicken Rancher, Eager Podcaster
http://beesinourbonnetsintheburbs.blogspot.com/
Podcasts at http://thefannyfarm.blogspot.com/ |
| Miss2Missus |
Posted - Jan 18 2010 : 4:34:18 PM
i know how you feel. but in the end it is better to just let you be the way you are.
Karen ^_^
http://frommisstomissus.blogspot.com/ |
| missgive |
Posted - Jan 18 2010 : 3:34:54 PM
Girl, it is because they are the people you live with that it bugs you more - the rest we can walk away from. There is a great book I have recommended for years to folks - it is titled Irregular People by Joyce Landorf Heatherly. It really helps you realize these people are emotionally deaf and emotionally blind - so just consider that they have permanent "disabilities" which make them incable of acting in a normal and caring way. Their empathetic gene is severely damaged and they are unable to see what the do or say that is wrong. Some of them try to use "I was just kidding" or "You're too sensitive" as the disclaimer - but it is because they have never learned to say "I am sorry" and mean it. Be yourself. You would rather be you than them.
Hugs,
Kim
Proud Farmgirl Sister #927
A Farmgirl Sister headed for my mountain home and farm in 2010. |
| pinkroses |
Posted - Jan 18 2010 : 3:14:14 PM
Thanks so much for all the advice and the encouragement
a lot has to do with the people I live with and there is no other way out
I really get frustrated that it seems to never end
hugs sheila
www.ohkayteagirl2.blogspot.com
http;//www.sheilascreativewritings.blogspot.com |
| Cindy Lou |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 7:45:43 PM
I used to work with a woman who repeatedly said unkind things to me. Later I found out the terrific trials she was going through with her husband's serious health problems. It may be she felt I was a "safe" target. The resentment I had felt melted away. There is a quote about people living lives of quiet desperation, we often don't know others trials, disappointment and pains. Our responsibility is to not let our difficulties cause pain for others.
"You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd.....
But you can be happy if you've a mind to. All you've gotta do in knuckle down, buckle down and do it, do it, do it!" |
| Bear5 |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 7:40:51 PM
Shiela:
Here is a hug for you (*). Most of us are sensitive, we have a heart, we care. It rattles me, too, when people are so insensitive. I often ask why. Like Beth said, it's "more about them than about you". Don't let them rattle you. I usually say "I am so sorry for you" to the insensitive people that come my way. They usually look at me like I'm nuts. Some of them stop and think of why I have said that to them. However, I pray for those people. I refuse to be hardened as they are. You feel like you do because, like Shari said, you "valve yourself". Hang in there.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| Faransgirl |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 6:53:20 PM
The hurtful things people say to you is just as others have said "more about them than about you". Never harden your heart just know that they are hurting and that is why they find it necessary to hurt you.
Hugs
Beth
Farmgirl Sister 572
May the force of the horse be with you. |
| sharikrsna |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 3:04:56 PM
Well when I was much younger, I was sensitive and easily hurt. Then I realized that what people think or say about me means about as much as a grain of sand on a vast beach. The key is to love and value yourself. Anyone who would belittle you is unimportant. Don't give them any satisfaction by paying attention to what they say, as it's nothing more than useless drivel. The next time someone hurts or insults you, look at them as if they were a small yet disgusting insect, and walk away!
Shari
Farmgirl Sister #607 |
| prariehawk |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 2:56:32 PM
When I was young, I was always being told that I was "too sensitive". It was hurtful, but I finally learned to deal with it by just realizing that they were insensitive, and that I needed to be strong to deal with all the insensitive people out there. I am a very different person at work (you can't afford to be too sensitive when you work at a hospital) than I am at home, where I'm surrounded by a sensitive dog and feel protected from the world "out there". It helps to have a safe place where you can retreat to when you feel like crying but it's not safe to cry. I also write and create art, which are good outlets. Please don't harden your heart--protect it, but don't harden it. Jesus had a sensitive heart, but he protected it. Pray to God if you aren't sure how to protect yourself. He'll provide an answer. I also find the writings of Thich Nhat Hanh (a Buddhist monk who was exiled from his native Vietnam) to be helpful.
cindy
"Dog is my co-pilot"
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
| Farmtopia |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 12:25:51 PM
I agree. If people are unkind to you, it's not about you! Really. It's about them and their perspective, and as we know perspective isn't reality, so don't take such acts to heart. Don't let anyone take away your ability to be your true self, you deserve the right to be yourself no matter what other people try to do--which I know isn't easy, but it's something you owe yourself!
~*~Dream all you dreamers~*~
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| Sheep Mom 2 |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 11:01:21 AM
I find that as a rule, when people say or do hurtful things it's more about whats up with them than whats up about you. I know it's hard not to take things too much to heart but to harden ones heart will make life so one dimensional. I think that those of us who care passionately about others forget sometimes that there are lot's of folks out there who don't care a fig about anyone else but the dramas they can create. Some folks think that if there isn't some huge drama going on in their lives, that somehow they aren't living! I am sending you some supportive energy to help bolster you up. Thank God for your caring, sensitive heart even if it stings from time to time. Just know that you are part of the solution and not part of the problem. Also remember to have pity for such a lost soul who feels the need to hurt others to raise themselves up.
Blessings, Sheri
"Work is Love made visible" -Kahlil Gibran |
| dutchy |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 10:48:41 AM
Oh girl, join the club. I guess there is nothing you (we) can do about it. And you know what?? I'd rather be (too) sensitive then hard as a rock. I know there is an in between, but you know what I mean. This way people know you (we) feel with them and for them. And indeed, as KarrieAnn says, we know how to hug, cry and laugh with other people, show we care. So don't change, stay the sensitive person you are.
Hugs...
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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| Karrieann |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 10:09:30 AM
You're not too sensitive.... they're insensitive!
I am a sensitive soul too. It took me a long time to over come it by realizing that it isn't me that is wrong. They do not know how to care, how to enjoy, how to laugh, how to hug, how to smile. It takes more work to be grump and rude than it is to be carefree in our desire to be happy. If we hardened our sensitive heart... who will care for those who need that caring?
If we didn't care.. we wouldn't be here... on MJF Connection. There are many many of us who are sweet sensitive souls.. I am in great company! Glad you are too!
(((HUGS)))
Karrieann ~ Farmgirl Sister #766 (29 Sept 2009)
My etsy: Yesterday's Scraps, Tomorrow's Treasures http://www.etsy.com/shop/2TomorrowsTreasures |
| Diane B Carter |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 09:57:22 AM
You don't need to change, you just need to realize that people are just that people, some people are mean, some are stupid ect. God made them that way to keep us on our toes. Just shake your head and say I'm sorry that you feel that way, I don't thank God. Then just let it be, let it be, let it be!!
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
| Annika |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 09:11:27 AM
*HUGS* We like you just as you are...
I have a hard time with hurtful things said as well
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
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| CherryPie |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 09:07:33 AM
Oh Sheila, I hope you don't harden your heart for any reason. Hard hearts don't get to feel hurtful things but they don't feel wonderful things either.
A great big farmgirl hug to you from me. (((((hug)))))
Kimberly Ann
Farmgirl Sister #225
Crochet Geek, Newbie Fiddler, Would-be Farmer, Backyard Chicken Rancher, Eager Podcaster
http://beesinourbonnetsintheburbs.blogspot.com/
Podcasts at http://thefannyfarm.blogspot.com/ |
