| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| dutchy |
Posted - Oct 31 2009 : 10:55:28 AM
LOL I am in a difficult spot, sort of long so please bear with me.
Yesterday I was in the little bus and the busdriver and I started talking. I have known him for about 2 yrs now and he is a kind, friendly elderly man. (married so no worries lol) He knows a little about my life the years with mom, just the basics. He also knows I am single and sort of "looking" at least I am open to a relationship.
He has a friend that is divorced, my age, and very friendly and a bit shy, according to the driver. SO he told me we (the friend) and I would maybe like to meet and become friends......SO I told him, well give him my email addy and we'll see what comes of it. I mean emails are harmless, he doesn't know my address etc. BUT now I got an email from the driver and his friend was happy to contact me but doesn't have internet yet. SO the driver gave me his friends telephone number!!
SOOOOOO I emailed the driver and gave him my phone nr. too, but also told him I was reluctant. I mean the friend IS a complete stranger to me!! NOW WHAT!!
I will wait and see whether the friend calls me and see what comes of it. But I was more relaxed when it would be just email contact to be honest.
I never had a "relationship" (not really anyway) not allowed etc. (another very long sad story) so am all new to this and kinda scared stiff yikes!! I know I am 52, independant, and all that mumbo jumbo...but concerning men and maybe dating I am completely a novice in every sense of the word!!
WOW I am really baring my soul here
ANY help is appreciated, tips on what to do now etc. I mean this in the most honest way. It is NO joke as I am just learning the ropes so to speak.
OH boy, what ever did posess me to say yes yesterday
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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| 14 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Miss2Missus |
Posted - Nov 01 2009 : 1:42:25 PM
I'd go for it. You're a smart woman Marian and I don't believe you would put yourself in a bad situation. A phone call or two while never racking can't hurt. Remember you can always hang up.
Karen ^_^
http://frommisstomissus.blogspot.com/ |
| knitnpickinatune |
Posted - Nov 01 2009 : 12:59:26 PM
Really good advice here,and I'd like to remind you that you are in control of whether you continue to see this person or not. Phones were the "safe way" to get to know someone when I was a kid also,and you can learn a lot from a conversation,esp if they get comfy and "slip". Take a 3rd or 4th party along,go on group outings if it gets to that. Best of luck!
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fingerpickin Farmgirl #702 |
| dutchy |
Posted - Nov 01 2009 : 10:22:46 AM
Thanks gals.
OH I won't rule out any possibility, even only friendship :)
The driver called me this morning. He is going to talk to the friend today and give him my nr. He understood my weariness but also told me it is a wonderful and kind man. So guess I have to put my trust in that. I will take my friend A along if and when we meet, she can sit at another table (her own suggestion, lol) and keep an eye on us. But as I said, IF and when we meet.
Will keep y'all updated too. Am kinda looking forward to it now and just wish he'd call duh!!
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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| Bear5 |
Posted - Nov 01 2009 : 10:21:03 AM
Dutchy:
I think it's a grand idea. I'd chat on the phone, also, and meet in a safe place. Ask him questions. Keep us posted. I'll be praying for you.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| momshopsalotta |
Posted - Nov 01 2009 : 10:08:05 AM
Dutchy,
You have got to give it a shot. It may turn out, if nothing else to be a wonderful friendship.
Just chat on the phone and meet in a neutral place for coffee untill you feel more comforatble.Check out his interests and for the time being meet in public place at public events that you both enjoy. Be careful, but don't shut out the possibilities. My husband and I met after being introduced by a friend of a friend that thought we were compatable. We have now been married for ten years. It was third marriage for each of us and left to our own devices, we always picked partners for the reasons that don't last (money, looks, age, etc.) There is an old Pennsylvania Dutch expression that says "Kissin wears out, cookin don't" And while sexist it does point out that compatability beats out superficial every time. Let us know...... |
| pinkroses |
Posted - Nov 01 2009 : 09:54:48 AM
Dutchy
You are amazing !
Goodness I would be scared too.
I think you have good advice from these ladies.
Please be careful
I know you are scared.
Maybe when you do meat him, take another friend along.
Ask the bus driver and his wife along.
Let us know what happens.
Thinking about you, hugs sheila
www.ohkayteagirl2.blogspot.com
http;//www.sheilascreativewritings.blogspot.com |
| Diane B Carter |
Posted - Nov 01 2009 : 09:45:41 AM
It's always a little scary meeting new people and in this world one needs to be careful, I think you should meet in a nice place with people around but where you can still be alone to talk. This guy could be a great friend, and if he's not the one maybe he knows the guy who is. I think you should go and be yourself, after all all the farmgirls think your a nice person so why should'nt he.
BE true to yourself, The bus driver has already told him what you look like, Go for it!! Enjoy your life. I'll say a prayer for you to be calm and enjoy yourself.
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
| maggie14 |
Posted - Nov 01 2009 : 07:55:23 AM
Yes you are very brave Dutchy. I don't think I could ever give anyone my phone number. You go girl! I'll be praying that everything goes good for you and that you may find true love after all. :) But start out as friends first.
Hugs,
Channah
If you can dream it, and if you are willing to put forth the work and effort, you can have anything you envision. |
| Sarahpauline |
Posted - Nov 01 2009 : 07:50:05 AM
You are very brave. I know that this is outside your comfort zone but go, be yourself and have fun. New friends are always great and you may or may not click. But imagine not finding out? :)
Not all those who wander are lost...
www.SarahPauline.com
www.AbraxasBaroque.com |
| Alee |
Posted - Oct 31 2009 : 8:26:47 PM
How exciting, Dutchy! I think the ladies are giving great advice. Go at a pace that is comfortable for you, but what a wonderful way to broaden your horizons!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
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| kpaints |
Posted - Oct 31 2009 : 2:02:26 PM
You got some good advice. If you decide to meet do it on your terms and make sure it is a place where you feel comfortable and can leave easily if necessary. Coffee dates are always easy because you are not committed to a certain length of time. Do what makes you comfortable. Listen to who is giving advice, someone who has been single forever and does not date or even try to. I feel a lot like you do, Marian as I am uncomfortable around men as well. Have fun.
Find your joy and live it. http://cheneybaglady.blogspot.com/http://www.kpaints.etsy.com http://www.thevintagebaglady.etsy.com FG #377 |
| dutchy |
Posted - Oct 31 2009 : 11:26:01 AM
Thanks Beverly, and yes you are right. We have to become friends first. That is my intention anyways. And as far as I know, the friend's too. So....I guess we will work thing out when he calls (IF he calls)
And yes, before internet it WAS the phone, lol. And IF and when it comes to a meeting I will ask someone along. Friend A has already offered to come and even sit on another table but keep close watch ;)
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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| Beverley |
Posted - Oct 31 2009 : 11:22:46 AM
I would just be very honest with the guy when he calls and tell him you aren't looking right now for anything but a friend and you would need to get to know him a lot better than being a stranger. If he is a nice person then he will understand , If he is does not understand just being friends then he is not worth getting to know. Who knows you just might meet someone who could be a good friend . take it very slow and just be friends at first. Friends is always a good place to start anything with the opposite sex.. Just be honest and open and upfront with him.
Folks will know how large your soul is by the way you treat a dog....Charles F. Doran
beverley baggett Beverley with an extra E...
http://bevsdoggies.googlepages.com/ |
| 4HMom |
Posted - Oct 31 2009 : 11:21:35 AM
I think it's exciting, Marian. In the days before internet, the phone was the "safe" way to communicate. Maybe the bus driver and his wife would be willing to meet you and his friend at a coffee shop somewhere so you could meet face to face on neutral ground? Keep us informed :)
"Be the change you want to see in the world" -Gandhi |
