| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| mommatracy |
Posted - Aug 30 2009 : 6:09:59 PM
Any of you ladies let's say over 50 have separate bedrooms? Back in 1999 my husband suddenly could not walk or stand anymore. Blood supply to his hip joints died and he had to have hip replacement surgery. Long story. First surgery went horribly wrong and he was bedridden in constant want to kill yourself pain. Six months later he had the other hip joint replaced. Serious problems and for 3 years he did not walk. More surgeries,on and on. Anyway when all of this started my husband had to sleep in one of those lift chairs because he could not lie down. He slept like this for three years and I slept in our bedroom alone. At first it was horrible. It felt so strange and not right. As time went on I got used to it. We moved to the coast and bought one of those adjustible beds for him and it took another year before he could get in it. I kept my own room, he had his own room with the lift chair and the bed. We decided we really liked it that way! He watches his own T.V.,I watch mine. I love it. I can sit up and do needle work, read,anything I want and it doesn't bother any body else. As time has moved on we have found that most of our friends have his & her bedrooms now. In fact pretty much everyone we know our age has their own bedrooms. It's a comfort thing. They are all happily married. So are we. It's cheaper and easier than buying the house across the street!
www.cottagebythebay.blogspot.com |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| AmethystRose |
Posted - Sep 05 2009 : 11:29:56 AM
DH and I sleep in the same bed, same bedroom, but at different times. I'm a night owl, he's a lark. As soon as he sits in his "command module" recliner, he's asleep within ten minutes. He wakes up, goes to bed around 9:30 with the dog following. Around 2AM he lets the dog out, I turn off the TV and go to bed, and DH returns to the recliner until around 5:30. At any time during the day either of us will call for "break time", which means both lying down on the bed for fifteen minutes and just talking things over.
This has nothing to do with affection, it's a matter of comfort and getting a good night's rest. Once you're on the treadmill of doctors appointments and medications, it's more important that the person is still in your life, not where they sleep. |
| pinkroses |
Posted - Sep 05 2009 : 11:07:03 AM
We have for over 30 or more years
He snores !!
I am always in pain
Often in the bathroom.
So,
neighter one of us could get any sleep if we sleep in the same room
it just works better for us.hugs sheila
www.ohkayteagirl2.blogspot.com
http;//www.sheilascreativewritings.blogspot.com |
| 5 acre Farmgirl |
Posted - Sep 04 2009 : 7:23:20 PM
My DH says; "that does it", when we have seperate beds....He's a snuggler....   
Farmgirl Sister #368
"It is most common for man to value most what has least worth."
My Farm and Garden blog....
http://blogonthefarmandgarden.blogspot.com
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| laurzgot |
Posted - Sep 04 2009 : 6:54:38 PM
I can sleep so much better if hubby falls asleep on couch watching t.v. He now works graveyards so the house is quite and I've got the bed to myself. We love each other very much. But everyone needs their space. We have all the same issuses that everyone has mentioned. But at nite I have our bed and during the day hubby has it. no complaints.
Laurie
suburban countrygirl at heart |
| StarMeadow |
Posted - Sep 04 2009 : 1:28:23 PM
I'm wanting at least separate beds these days. We are opposites just like a lot of people here. His job keeps him out late or overnight...so I'm used to the bed all by myself. I need it cool and dark. Love the fan for the extra breeze. Him? Needs the tv or radio and extra blankets. He'll want to be near me but he's like a heating pad! I then end up with about 6 inches of space in our bed. I'm up early during the school year...about 5:30 and I'll tip toe around trying to be as quiet as possible but when it's my turn for a little extra sleep, I swear he's like a bull in a china shop...moaning and sighing, slamming drawers and plopping on the edge of the bed to put his shoes on. And the lights? For some reason he needs them all. So then I'm up and he expects me to get the coffee!!! Last night, we had his bro over (who was on the couch)...I'm telling you I almost went to the front porch rocker in a sleeping bag! BIL was restless and so was teen son. THAT woke me up and then I couldn't get back to sleep but had no where to go! I keep reminding him that sleep deprivation is used as a torture... If there was an extra room to be had...I'd be in it in a heartbeat!! |
| babysmama |
Posted - Sep 04 2009 : 12:57:23 PM
I was just thinking fo starting a thread like this the other night. I am only 27 and have been married 8 years but for the majority of those we have slept seperate (first because he was on night shift, then in different beds in the same room and now different rooms). We just can not sleep well together...he tosses and turns a lot, needs lots of blankets and I need just one, he needs lots of room on the bed, and well...the deal breaker is that he snores and I can not sleep with that noise. We get along because we sleep in different rooms, I say!! We do "visit" each other, of course. We say why sleep together if you can't sleep and then want to be grouchy all day because of it?
-Elizabeth
www.trenchesofmommyhood.blogspot.com |
| therusticcottage |
Posted - Sep 04 2009 : 06:51:29 AM
We've had separate bedrooms for a very long time. He talks in his sleep, kicks his feet, and is always cold. I'm always hot and have to have 2 fans going at all times. He goes to bed with chickens and I stay up late. We tried twin beds in the same room and that was still a disaster. So separate rooms work great. At my age I'd rather have a good night's sleep.
The Rustic Cottage Blog http://therusticcottage.blogspot.com
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| Amy Warwick |
Posted - Sep 03 2009 : 3:46:14 PM
I can't imagine sleeping without Wave. We always say we were twins in our past lives because our heart rates and stress levels actually slow down when we have the ability to touch skin to skin. I don't mean sexually, we just have to touch our hands, or some part like twins who have to be in the same crib. On the other hand, I had to fall asleep without him for three months last winter when he drove snow plow and I did enjoy the freedom of cross stitching in bed and writing with a nice cup of hot tea while snuggled under the comforter. I see both sides. I will have to ask Wave what he thinks and leave a man's opinion.
Amy
For information on SUMMER SNOW please visit www.amywarwick.com
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it ~Aristotle
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| Jennifer Mulkey |
Posted - Sep 03 2009 : 2:33:31 PM
I have to say I'm over 50 and in the 'sleep together' crowd. I don't know how I would be able to sleep without him there. I've gotten so used to him over the years, I sleep right through his snoring, and he sleeps through my hot flashes, lol. |
| happydaze |
Posted - Sep 03 2009 : 2:20:05 PM
Try separate beds in the same room. It works for us! After more than 40 years of my Vietnam vet hubby reliving the war every night,I took out our King bed and put in two beds,,Now I can be in the same room and not worry about getting punched. |
| Alee |
Posted - Sep 03 2009 : 1:10:23 PM
Melissa- My husband has the same "issue" I get whacked in the night...or I did until I started sleeping with two pillows. I put a pillow between us and usually put it between my knees or sometimes I curl up in the fetal position and end up using the second pillow for my head as well. Anyway- I think the pillow gets the bumps and kicks and after month or two it kindof re-trained him to keep to his side of the bed. So now if I don't have my second pillow on the bed I don't get clobbered at night!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| Bellepepper |
Posted - Sep 03 2009 : 10:33:18 AM
Ole Ron and I sleep in seperate bedrooms for all the reasons mentioned above. We both snore, Ron is always cold and sleeps with the electric blanket year around and I like it cool, windows open, fan on. I go to sleep with the tv on. It's ok if it is turned off after I go to sleep. He gets up at least 3 times each night to go to the bathroom, so do I. That means we would get woke up 6 times. Some times I wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning and can't go back to sleep. I quit worring about it long ago. Now I just watch tv or try to do quiet things, like clean my bathroom. Our one problem is that we only have the one extra bedroom so when we have company, I have to hose down his bedroom (not quite that bad). I work for 2 days getting the "guest" room ready. Then we sleep together, kinda. I usually spend most of the time on the couch. I try to get up and go to bed before our guest wake up so they don't know I have been inconvienced.
Belle |
| MissLiss |
Posted - Sep 03 2009 : 08:05:13 AM
Ha! This is great! I think it's so funny to hear what everyone thinks about this topic. I am fine with saying that I wish we slept separately, I love my husband and he loves me and we are very happy together. I think it's interesting to hear how some of you feel the same way and some of you think that separate bedrooms mean marriage counseling should be required! My husband and I got a huge cal king bed, in hopes that he would quit wacking me in his sleep, but it seems that the larger bed just means that HE has more room to sprawl out and I still get wacked! I sleep balanced on the edge of the mattress, while he sprawls out over 2/3 of it and still manages to get a good elbow to the back at least once a night! How does that happen? I love my husband and I would never "trade him in", but this sleeping thing developed after we were married (about a year or two after) and it hasn't gone away. I would love to have my own bed so I could get a *real* night sleep, but he gets really offended by a mention of it, or if I fall asleep on the couch. So it looks like I'll be putting up with it for a while! Men.
Melissa
Use it up,
Wear it out,
Make it do,
Or go without! |
| levisgrammy |
Posted - Aug 31 2009 : 1:07:14 PM
Alee, that is funny. My husband says uh...I don't think so too, but I KNOW we are much oolder than the 2 of you. We have slept apart say when I am having back trouble or sinus problems and can't sleep lying down. Has to be the recliner. When we first married he was in the military so that's probably why we are fine with it now. Too much time apart. He snores, he says I snore, I think it is only because he doesn't like to admit he does. We both have sinus trouble so I am sure we both snore. LOL! I also get a knee or elbow sometimes but I wouldn't trade it and go back to the 6 month deployments or anything so we just deal with it. Plus a few years ago we bought a beautiful new bedroom set and I'm not giving it up and I know he wouldn't because he picked it out!
God is good....all the time.
Denise
www.torisgram.etsy.com |
| Faransgirl |
Posted - Aug 31 2009 : 10:21:53 AM
I have been married for 32 years and we have slept apart for most of it. We have slept together a day or two here and there. He snores, the cats wake me up walking across the floor, he has tenitus so he has to have the TV on and I can't sleep with the TV on, I like three fans and he says it is like a wind tunnel. He likes light I can't sleep in the moonlight. I hardly move and he hits and punches and kicks. So he has slept on the sofa for most of our lives together. Works for me, works for him. We're good.
Farmgirl Sister 572
May the force of the horse be with you. |
| willowtreecreek |
Posted - Aug 31 2009 : 08:33:12 AM
I couldnt even imagine it. There is nothing better to me than waking up in the middle of the night and feeling Richie there beside me. Most nights I go to be WAY before him but I'm used to it and I never even notice when he comes in. If we get to the point where we think we need seperate rooms I think that would be an indication that we needed marriage counseling!
Farmgirl Sister #17
Blog
www.willowtreecreek.wordpress.com
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| prairie_princess |
Posted - Aug 31 2009 : 08:29:01 AM
melissa - i'm also 28 and in the same situation as you! when i get older and have a larger house, i'd like to try separate rooms. my DH, not so much... i think the big thing with him as well as many people is they think because you sleep in separate rooms, you don't love each other or you are in a bad, loveless marriage. now, this could be true for some... but my parents have separate rooms. they love it! my mom told me it has actually brought the spice back to their lovelife. she says it's kind of like a vacation... when one of them is ready to cuddle or what-have-you, they sneak into the others room. she says it's like in the old days... you get excited when you get to go sleep over at your loved one's place, but you don't have to be their all the time. i like my space, i'm a picky sleeper and would sleep sideways on the bed if i could. but of course i can't with DH there. so, like some of you said, i anticipate the night shift when i can hog the bed! i'm glad this topic came up on here... it's one i like to discuss!
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
| aunt boby |
Posted - Aug 31 2009 : 08:15:36 AM
When I met my DH he was an OTR truck driver and we only slept together on Saturdays and Sundays. He took another job 6 months ago and his home every night. I must confess I miss having the bed to myself. After reading the other posts I don't feel so bad now. I kinda liked being sprawled out in the middle of the bed. Now I have a giant cuddler suffocating me every night but I love him too much to say anything. Maybe next time we can upgrade to a California King size bed!!
POOR IS THE MAN WHO CANNOT ENJOY THE SIMPLE THINGS IN LIFE- anonymous |
| mommatracy |
Posted - Aug 31 2009 : 08:02:37 AM
Shortly after my DH and I married back in 1973 my MIL moved into the "pink" room. She was 50 yrs old. I thought it was awful. I told my husband that would never happen to us. Yeah right! Actually MIL just couldn't take the snoring anymore and their bed was a double. You could hear him at the other end of their house. They were very happily married and got along fine with the separate bedrooms. I forgot to mention that my husband snores so loud that I can hear him two rooms away with our doors shut. He also sleeps with six pillows tucked around him. You would have to be in a coma to sleep all night with him. And did I mention that his hearing is shot so he keeps the volume on the t.v. so loud that I can hear it two rooms away with my t.v. also on and the doors shut. He also tears the sheets away from the mattress every single night. We are building a new house and the master bdrm (his) is located on one end of the house and the other bedrooms on the other. I am having the builder insulate every wall in his room to keep the noise down. Did I mention that I would Never Marry Again!
www.cottagebythebay.blogspot.com |
| Alee |
Posted - Aug 31 2009 : 07:32:25 AM
Corrine- I don't think everyone is destined to seperate bedrooms. My parents are in their fifties and still sleep in the same bedroom. My dad sometimes sleeps in the spare room if one of them isn't feeling well or something. I asked Doug if he would ever consider seperate bedrooms and he looked at me and said "Uh...No!!" LOL!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| BarefootGoatGirl |
Posted - Aug 31 2009 : 07:06:10 AM
you girls are starting to make me wonder about my reply on the "remarriage" thread. the thing i miss the most about having a significant other is having someone to curl up with at the end of the day. if we're headed to separate rooms by the time we hit 50, there is no reason to bother.
What we write today slipped into our souls some other day when we were alone and doing nothing.
-Brenda Ueland
http://quilandneedle.blogspot.com/
http://musingandmuttering.blogspot.com |
| Mumof3 |
Posted - Aug 31 2009 : 05:58:42 AM
My grandparents had their own rooms. When you went up the stairs, Grampa's room was on the left and Grammy's on the right. His was done in shades of brown and green with lots of plaid and hers was done in grape purple, turquoise and white. Any wonder why they each had their own space?! lol My parents have separate rooms but it isn't because of style differences. I'll just leave it at that.
Karin
Farmgirl Sister
# 18 :)
www.perfectlittlemiracle.blogspot.com
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| kristin sherrill |
Posted - Aug 31 2009 : 04:56:05 AM
Back in Jan. when hubby almost died and was on sick leave for over 3 months we did sleep in separate rooms. He had to have pillows and a bright night light. He also said that first night he was home I snored all night. So I slept upstairs. He's a truck driver so I am so used to sleeping alone except like every other weekend. So last time he was here we tried sleeping together again. It worked. He said I didn't snore at all. Maybe he just didn't hear me. I had a fan in there on full blast so I couldn't hear him! He's a mess in the bed. He snores and when he's not snoring he breathes really loud then hardly at all. So I am constantly trying to see if he's still alive. He also sleeps with either a knee or his arms up flopping around. He also jerks. And hogs the covers. And likes the light on. But we actually made it 3 nights in a row. So there's still hope for us. If not, there's still a bed upstairs for me.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
| Alee |
Posted - Aug 30 2009 : 10:02:51 PM
We don't have seperate bedrooms, but when he worked nights I got pretty used to the bed by myself and I sleep pretty good when I am at my parent's house alone. But the other night we did fall asleep cuddling and that was pretty nice! :D
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| MissLiss |
Posted - Aug 30 2009 : 9:26:52 PM
I'm for separate rooms, my husband, not so much. I know that sounds strange since I'm only 28! But we have the same issues you do Dawn! He is like a space heater he puts off so much heat I sweat all night long! And to top it off, he's usually cold, so he wants the heater on! What? He's also one of those wild, thrasher sleepers. I've been startled awake quite a few times by an elbow to the face or a kick to the thigh. But he gets all offended if I tell him that maybe we should try different rooms. It's not so bad now that he's on the night shift - I get the bed all to myself at night and he gets it all day!
Melissa
Use it up,
Wear it out,
Make it do,
Or go without! |
