| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| julia hayes |
Posted - Mar 05 2006 : 1:58:06 PM
Farmgirls, I am gathering stories and perspectives from women who have stayed home with their children. My focus is the early years (birth to kindergarten). I want to know the things you discovered about yourselves in the process of being at home. The things you liked and the things you hated. I especially want to know what kinds of things you did or do for yourselves to break the cycle of boredom that comes with the job.
I mentioned in an earlier thread that I want to someday write a book about it. A sort of "what to expect for yourself as a stay at home mom in the early years" idea. A good example is that I never in a million years expected that I would have issues of resentment with my husband; resentment that he is much more free to do what he wants than I am right now. Most of the time this is just something I know and accept and deal with, but there are other times that it really bums me out! I also never in a million years expected to have issues of feeling guilty; guilty that I need a break, guilty when I'm away, guilty that my husband is with the kids etc. etc.. I know I'm not alone and would love to know your perspectives and how you rose above it all!
Let me know what you think about this idea...need some good critical feedback here!
Many warm smiles, Julia Hayes
being simple to simply be |
| 4 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| lonestargal |
Posted - Mar 06 2006 : 2:44:44 PM
Julia, I have found that as my kids are getting older it is getting easier to do everything. My girls are 8 and 4 and the little one helps in the garden and loves it. I'm kinda starting over in a way though because I babysit for a friend of ours and her little girl is 1 1/2 and due with #2 on March 28. So I'm going to have to adjust to having real little ones again. |
| julia hayes |
Posted - Mar 06 2006 : 06:45:35 AM
Thank you ladies for your perspectives! I am also at home full-time and my 'boredom' doesn't have anything to do with not having enough to do. I am so lucky that I am such a home-body. I love it and we have beautiful gardens and I just got a tractor so the sky is the limit. Boredom in my mind happens when my days seem exactly like one to the next. The routine of it all. My Saturdays are very similar to my Mondays whereas my husband definitely has time off! I'm very fortunate that he's incredibly sensitive and supportive but he's simply not a mom. poor thing, it isn't his fault! Lonestargal, you hit the nail on the head with the 24/7 aspect of the work and that's what I'm getting at. The women I have talked to with older children all say that it gets easier as the kids get older and already I'm seeing that but man sometimes in the midst of potty training, temper tantrums, sleep deprivation and picky eating, it can be down-right challenging. This is the thing that I was to target particularly how women have been able to keep some things for themselves like canning and gardening. There are many many women out there who have nothing..They lose themselves in their kids and struggle.. Thank you again. I loved it! Julia Hayes
being simple to simply be |
| lonestargal |
Posted - Mar 05 2006 : 8:49:51 PM
I feel exactly the way Pamela does. I LOVE being at home and wouldn't trade it for anything but sometimes it gets stressful financially. We can't afford any 'extras' but I have the extra time with my family and that's the most important thing for me. I don't get bored at all for the most part. I'm either outside working at my house or my moms or I'm inside doing work. There is ALWAYS something that needs to be done. Because I don't work outside the home, I too feel guilty if I need a break. It does get overwhelming at times and I get stressed and just need time away but I feel guilty because I don't have to work and staying at home makes me happy. DH doesn't understand that he works his scheduled shift and then gets off, his 'job' is done. SAHM don't get sick days, vacation days, or break times. We don't get paid extra holiday time or get weekends off. It's a 24/7 job and people who don't stay at home don't understand and think that it's just a piece of cake. I'm the opposite, I would hate to go to a job and staying at home is where I want to be.
I have learned a lot more patience with my family. When I was working, I was a lot more stressed and would take it out on DH. Now that I'm home we are a lot happier. I have also realized how much I love being a 'farmgirl' and I'm trying to instill these principals in my children. I wasn't always frugal and wouldn't do things the old fashioned way and there was a time where I thought hanging clothes was ridiculous and I wouldn't ever be caught canning something. Now this is a way of life for me. I can't say when it changed but now I look back and wonder what I was thinking. I'm trying to teach my children how and why it's so important to eat as organically as possible, the satisfaction and importance of growing your own veggies, that convenience isn't always good, money isn't everything and family is.
I hope that my children realize how lucky they are to have a parent that can stay at home with them and teach them to the best of my ability.
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| Photobugs |
Posted - Mar 05 2006 : 7:09:45 PM
It has been some time since I had preschoolers, but I do not remember ever being bored. We grew a huge garden, and I canned about 60% of what we ate. I also quilted and made numerous other crafts (some to sell). Then there was caring for the children, husband (while he lived with us, that did not last) and other aspects of keeping a home. Reading stories at bedtime, homework help with the older kids, baking cookies, scrubbing the toilet, picking berries, picking apples, school events, cooking, bringing in wood for the stove (our only source of heat in the winter)etc, etc, etc. I do not know how someone could get bored...I know I didn't. My parents would take the kids from time to time for a day or two, but we were pretty broke all the time so we really could not afford to go much of anywhere anyway. This was probably the one drawback I felt. No extra money. But I would not trade having money for the time I was able to spend with my children.
Pamela
"I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!" |
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