| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Jul 17 2009 : 07:01:47 AM
So.....I saw that the one family member that I felt was always looking out for Mrs. W came over yesterday. I was in the garden, cutting some green beans for dinner and she asked me if Mrs. W. was home...I said, "honestly, I don't know..I've not seen any movement over there today..." she muttered some remark that "it wasn't surprising, she's probably sleeping it off!!" And I didn't say anything, but later, when she came out to get what appeared to be cleaning supplies, I asked her if I could talk with her about the living situation, Mrs. W's care, and whether or not anything had ever been reported to Senior Services. Boy, did I get a story!!! She first thanked me for my concern and said "the family is doing the best we can--there are many obstacles--Mrs. W is stuck in her ways, and then there's D....but Mrs. W doesn't have to live this way (in filth)..." Senior services has been called, but by noone in the family. And it wasn't me. So that leaves neighbors. Interesting!!!
Basically, D and her son are living there rent free, whenever they get evicted, and are spending Mrs. W's money anyway they can--there is a "new" van in the driveway as of last night. As I mentioned, neither of them work. Mrs. W's own daughter is supposed to stop by and stay every Mon and Tues. but when she calls to say she's coming, Mrs. W. says, "oh...no, D says you don't need to, D says she's coming over to stay with me..". So there seems to be some "power" that she wields. I told her that D has been known to be violent, both to her son and to Mrs. W. I was informed that the latest "love interest" of D's isn't allowed in to the house because he's bad news, and Mrs. W (though legally blind!) can see that a million miles away. I told her that I was unhappy about the van in the backyard, and the crowd that R is running with--that I'm frightened for our little one and our property (it ain't much, but it's ours!!). She said that other members of the family are aware of his social group and aren't thrilled either. I told her that we are preparing to move if Mrs. W passes because we are afraid that D will get the house. She said that they are trying to find a property that they can all live together because Mrs. W wants D and R to be taken care of for the "rest of their lives".... So, I think the heat is on...and at least I know that the family actually DOES know what's happening there. I think I still will make a call to Senior Services when things get whacky again. And don't you fret, they WILL get whacky again!!!
My next door neighbor is an elderly woman who is 89 years old...she and her family come from a very rural part of the state, and well, they live in a manner in which most of us don't, and most people in the neighborhood steer clear of them because they're considered "white trash"...But, my neighbor, Mrs. W? I adore her...and I would never do anything to upset her, but the primary reason she's obtained this reputation is because her granddaughter (44) and great-grandson (16--who dropped out of school this year) descend on her property a hundred times a year to live with her (everytime they get evicted), everytime she breaks up with a man, everytime she goes off her meds (she's a paranoid schizophrenic and bi-polar). They don't work, they just sponge off old Mrs. W.
I've always been kind to them because of my fondness for Mrs. W., and believe me, it's DIFFICULT--there's a constant array of deadbeat men she brings home (most of whom leer at me from the car, because for some reason they're not brought inside); they have a broken down (vulgarly spraypainted) 1970's era van in the backyard that the boy and his friends use for a stoner clubhouse; she mows the grass at 11:30 pm with a TRACTOR when she's in one of her "up" modes; she's always bringing undesirable "handymen" (that she's met at the bar) to the house to "fix it up" so Mrs. W. can stay there, but it always results in some calamity of robbery or fraud. One group even stole our brand new metal ladder we had purchased with some of our wedding money. I've never said anything because of Mrs. W. Everytime they move back to Mrs. W's home, they have some poor neglected animal that they tie up to the porch for days on end without water or food. Now, I have called animal control on them, because that is something I WILL NOT stand for. This has been going on since I moved there in 1998.
So, I'm giving background information to hopefully convey my level of frustration...We've been working to try to get Violet on a sleeping schedule because she's a nightowl, but is often so tired that tirades ensue and it can be very difficult to get her down at night, resulting in bedtimes as late as 1 am. I've done the same routine each night this week with much success, she's in bed by 9:00 or around there, and we have some time to ourselves and she, bless her, is well rested! But LAST NIGHT, after our bath, book, and bottle, just after I finished rocking and singing her to a nice sleep, I put her in the crib (looked at the clock, whew! 10:15) when this horrible cacophony of dog barking errupted (I have 3 really BIG dogs, and one small-ish dog), which scared both Violet and I to death, and she immediately started that "scared" screaming cry that babies get when frightened, I fell over some toys because we were in the dark, and I grabbed her up because I heard this KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on our front door. I could not believe my eyes. There stood the granddaughter, cigarette in hand, "decked out", and started talking, rapid-fire fashion, that she needed me to "come watch her start her car because she's been working on the electrical system and wanted to make sure it didn't catch fire." No attention was paid to the screaming baby in my arms, or the angry look on my face. I said, "D_______, she was sleeping. You woke her up!!" Then, instead of saying, "oh my gosh, it's late, isn't it? I'm really sorry..." She said, "well, I don't have anyone to look at this car, and I don't want it to blow up or something, and ruin the engine. I guess I'm sorry I asked YOU!!" So I followed her out to the car yelling, with my baby in my arms, "you're sorry you ASKED me???? How about, you're sorry for waking my little girl and causing total chaos in my household!!!" But absolutely NO notice or admission of anything like that. She just kept yammering away that noone else could help her and she just wanted to make sure she didn't ruin her engine. The grandson recently totalled Mrs. W.'s 2003 Dodge Caravan and bought this beater to replace it.
So, at 12:10 am, when Violet was so tired she couldn't stop screaming and crying, I decided I was going to go over there and knock on the door to show her what she'd done--to say, "congratulations. This is what you've accomplished. Don't EVER come to my door after dark again!!!" But the car was gone. She was gone--to the bar. How convenient.
My poor little girl and I were awake MUCH longer than we needed to be, and she was tying one on at the local watering hole. That's why getting the car fixed was so freakin' important to her!!!
Here's the rub...when Mrs. W passes away, I just know they're going to get the house....it will be at that time my gloves come off. 
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Claude09647 |
Posted - Jul 30 2009 : 12:49:36 PM
Thats too sad that that happens.
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
http://claude09647.blogspot.com/ |
| kissmekate |
Posted - Jul 29 2009 : 9:00:54 PM
I hope there is a special place in hell for people like this!
Don't miss out on a blessing, just because it isn't packaged the way you expected. ~MaryJo Copeland |
| vermont v |
Posted - Jul 27 2009 : 3:06:24 PM
Its called Elder Abuse and she needs to get out of the situation. She needs a clean and safe place to live without being exposed to drugs and alcohol users. Call the cops; social services who ever!!!! |
| Alee |
Posted - Jul 27 2009 : 10:11:45 AM
Oh my gosh Jonni! I think you should call Social Services in on the whole lot!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| mikesgirl |
Posted - Jul 27 2009 : 08:28:50 AM
Good grief!
Farmgirl Sister #98
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| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Jul 27 2009 : 08:17:46 AM
Yep...she said they are spending her money left and right. though D isn't poa, she offers to go to the bank for Mrs. W (she gets retirment from the state--she was a teacher, and her husband a railroad employee) and because Mrs. W is blind, she really doesn't know WHAT the checks are actually amounted in. That way, D takes a bit off the top each time.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Jul 27 2009 : 08:09:05 AM
Re: update. It's good to know that other members of the extended family are aware of what's going on. I wish there was a way they'd be willing to override Mrs. W's wishes to provide for her deadbeat grand-daughter & kid, but what can you do?
I don't get what you mean though about them being thieves? Are they spending Mrs. W's money without her knowledge (beyond just sponging off her)? |
| CherryMeDarlin |
Posted - Jul 21 2009 : 07:05:03 AM
Jonni, do they sleep in? I'd be cranking up my lawnmower bright and early if they do! I'd be "doing unto others as they do unto me". But I'm with the other girls who suggest making those phone calls. You have two very valid reasons for doing so; Mrs. W's health and welfare AND Violet's health and welfare.
And I agree with finding a sympathetic person in power, whether it's the local police or DHR. We had a problem with people dumping trash on our road. Turns out, one of our deputy sheriff's has family land out here and he was just as outraged as I was. As a result, he patrols out here and if he comes across some trash, he'll nose through it until he finds some kind of incriminating evidence and then he makes a visit to that person. There have been times I've come home and someone would be out there picking up their garbage. One time, I did my own investigating after someone unloaded their garbage. I took a long stick and poked around and you would not believe what I found. First, I came across a paycheck stub with name, address, everything. Then I came across a sheet of paper from a doctor's office with information on it about AIDS. UGH!! I put these in the back of my car and went looking for my deputy. He then took care of it.
But if you suspect that there's illegal drug use going on over there, the local police should be willing to step-up patrol and do some investigating. I don't know how prevalent meth use and cooking is in your area, but if you make an anonymous phone call that you suspect that they MIGHT be cooking it in that van, they should be all over it. And if the police don't do anything, the DA should. Especially if the DA is up for re-election. They like those easy wins. Another little trick that works with the police is an oh, so innocent comment about contacting the local news. No police department wants negative publicity.
Karin, we have a similar problem as yours. We have 39 acres that is mostly wooded and have people trespassing on it, especially during deer and turkey seasons. There's a hollow behind our house that they hunt. I haven't done this yet, but I have thought of hanging those weird branch thingies that was in the Blair Witch Project from trees down there in the hopes of giving them the heebie-jeebies. (The evil side of me wants to string up wire about neck high!) We have speakers on our back deck wired into our stereo system, so what I will do is to turn that baby up and crank out some Beastie Boys! It carries down in the hollow and you can hear it for miles! And it'll start up every dog on this hill to barking! The other thing I'll do is a little target practice. The hubs has an area set-up to sight in his guns with a reinforced target to stop the bullets. I'll get out there and fire off some rounds. We found a tree stand set-up down there year before last, and I wished I'd thought of this at the time, but Brian had shot an armadillo and he took it off somewhere to dispose of it. I wish I'd thought of hanging it's dead carcass from that tree stand. Sounds horrible of me, I know, but that tree stand is set-up in a way that a 30-06 could easily reach my house. The safety of my family and pets comes before anyone's touchy sensibilities.
~~Cherry~~
http://cherrymedarlin.blogspot.com
"A thing is as simple or as complicated as you make it." --TT Murphy |
| Diane B Carter |
Posted - Jul 21 2009 : 04:54:11 AM
I am not a lover of fences but I think if I was going to stay there I would put up a tall (grudge) fence. That would also help keep Violet safer.
I know I would call the police everytime I could. Let them deal with the problem.
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
| Annab |
Posted - Jul 21 2009 : 03:28:32 AM
At least in this state if you can prove an animal has no shelter food and water, animal comtrol will take it. You would think the emaciated state would be a huge tip-off.
As for the neighbors, I'd seriously start saving your pennies and start looking for your slice of heaven elsewhere. I'm afraid too that when Mrs. W passes the roof WILL come off and her kin folk will run rack 'n ruin. People are so ignorant sometimes, thoughtless and unaware.
If its after dark ,I'd not even bother opening the door.
And,maybe you could try going to the poilce station during the day, with your baby and explain the whole situation. Maybe find an older cop who perhaps has had children and would understand.
I'm so sorry. |
| Tapestry |
Posted - Jul 21 2009 : 01:36:29 AM
Jonni, definitely call Human Services and express your concerns. You can do this anonymously and they are required by law to do an investigation. Notify the police EVERY time you see the stoners heading for the van. Hopefully, they'll stake it out and bust the lot of them. As for the bipolar barfly next time she mows her lawn with a tractor at 11 o'clock at night call the cops. She is disturbing the peace. Make life as miserable for them as they've made it for you and maybe they'll move to another neighborhood. Just be careful about doing it anonymously and don't even tell neighbors you're friendly with as well, you never know who might accidentally say something to them that would give you away. Make sure your vehicles are parked in the garage (locked) so they can't vandalize them in retaliation, just in case they take a guess that you've reported them. Good Luck!
Someone else mentioned about the guy with the guns. Holy cow. Total nutcase. Don't set traps for him to get caught in on your property as he sounds like the type who would probably sue your tail off even though he was trespassing and he'd win. Call the DNR every chance you get to report him for poaching and the cops to report him for trespassing. Hopefully a couple stiff fines he'll decide the hunting is too expensive on your land.
Happy farmgirl sister #353
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http://tapestrysimaginings.blogspot.com/ |
| naturemaiden |
Posted - Jul 20 2009 : 3:30:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by FebruaryViolet
My next door neighbor is an elderly woman who is 89 years old...she and her family come from a very rural part of the state, and well, they live in a manner in which most of us don't, and most people in the neighborhood steer clear of them because they're considered "white trash"...But, my neighbor, Mrs. W? I adore her...and I would never do anything to upset her, but the primary reason she's obtained this reputation is because her granddaughter (44) and great-grandson (16--who dropped out of school this year) descend on her property a hundred times a year to live with her (everytime they get evicted), everytime she breaks up with a man, everytime she goes off her meds (she's a paranoid schizophrenic and bi-polar). They don't work, they just sponge off old Mrs. W.
I've always been kind to them because of my fondness for Mrs. W., and believe me, it's DIFFICULT--there's a constant array of deadbeat men she brings home (most of whom leer at me from the car, because for some reason they're not brought inside); they have a broken down (vulgarly spraypainted) 1970's era van in the backyard that the boy and his friends use for a stoner clubhouse; she mows the grass at 11:30 pm with a TRACTOR when she's in one of her "up" modes; she's always bringing undesirable "handymen" (that she's met at the bar) to the house to "fix it up" so Mrs. W. can stay there, but it always results in some calamity of robbery or fraud. One group even stole our brand new metal ladder we had purchased with some of our wedding money. I've never said anything because of Mrs. W. Everytime they move back to Mrs. W's home, they have some poor neglected animal that they tie up to the porch for days on end without water or food. Now, I have called animal control on them, because that is something I WILL NOT stand for. This has been going on since I moved there in 1998.
So, I'm giving background information to hopefully convey my level of frustration...We've been working to try to get Violet on a sleeping schedule because she's a nightowl, but is often so tired that tirades ensue and it can be very difficult to get her down at night, resulting in bedtimes as late as 1 am. I've done the same routine each night this week with much success, she's in bed by 9:00 or around there, and we have some time to ourselves and she, bless her, is well rested! But LAST NIGHT, after our bath, book, and bottle, just after I finished rocking and singing her to a nice sleep, I put her in the crib (looked at the clock, whew! 10:15) when this horrible cacophony of dog barking errupted (I have 3 really BIG dogs, and one small-ish dog), which scared both Violet and I to death, and she immediately started that "scared" screaming cry that babies get when frightened, I fell over some toys because we were in the dark, and I grabbed her up because I heard this KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on our front door. I could not believe my eyes. There stood the granddaughter, cigarette in hand, "decked out", and started talking, rapid-fire fashion, that she needed me to "come watch her start her car because she's been working on the electrical system and wanted to make sure it didn't catch fire." No attention was paid to the screaming baby in my arms, or the angry look on my face. I said, "D_______, she was sleeping. You woke her up!!" Then, instead of saying, "oh my gosh, it's late, isn't it? I'm really sorry..." She said, "well, I don't have anyone to look at this car, and I don't want it to blow up or something, and ruin the engine. I guess I'm sorry I asked YOU!!" So I followed her out to the car yelling, with my baby in my arms, "you're sorry you ASKED me???? How about, you're sorry for waking my little girl and causing total chaos in my household!!!" But absolutely NO notice or admission of anything like that. She just kept yammering away that noone else could help her and she just wanted to make sure she didn't ruin her engine. The grandson recently totalled Mrs. W.'s 2003 Dodge Caravan and bought this beater to replace it.
So, at 12:10 am, when Violet was so tired she couldn't stop screaming and crying, I decided I was going to go over there and knock on the door to show her what she'd done--to say, "congratulations. This is what you've accomplished. Don't EVER come to my door after dark again!!!" But the car was gone. She was gone--to the bar. How convenient.
My poor little girl and I were awake MUCH longer than we needed to be, and she was tying one on at the local watering hole. That's why getting the car fixed was so freakin' important to her!!!
Here's the rub...when Mrs. W passes away, I just know they're going to get the house....it will be at that time my gloves come off.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/
I would tell her not to come over after a certain hour, period, or you can post a sign on the door.
Connie
www.NatureMaiden.com -Handcrafted Bath & Body Products that I make myself- including soaps, salves, lotion bars, lip balms, natural deodorants, body sprays, hydrosols, salt scrubs, and MUCH more!
http://site.naturemaiden.com/blog1/ (Business Blog)
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|
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Jul 20 2009 : 07:42:49 AM
I have called on them before. For whatever reason, they always get the dog back. Justin planned on calling today...as did the other 2 neighbors across the street. Bless him, he keeps everyone awake with his howling, and I feel so terrible for him. He's nothing but skin and bones (I'm fairly certain it's a combination of lack of food and worms). She told me once that she gave him some sort of vinegar for worms. I just looked at her like she had 3 heads. How about a simple worming medicine?
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
| Alee |
Posted - Jul 20 2009 : 07:29:24 AM
Jonni- did you call the animal cops to come seize the dog? You might want to call to let them know what the situation is so next time you see it, they will already have a report on file?
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Jul 20 2009 : 06:12:03 AM
Well, things were a bit tense over the weekend...and each and every night (at around 7:00 pm) they started working on that blasted car! I just tried to stay in, but that's not fair because it was PERFECT weather, and the garden was calling me. The garden is on the side of the house, and I have to walk by them to get to it. I just need to remember that I'm an adult, too, and their behaviors are what caused this rift.
A few years back, they started getting the house together (that's when all the "carpenters" started coming and robbed poor Mrs. W.--they even took the toilet) so Mrs. W. could go into an assisted living facility...but she through a big stinkin' fit and wouldn't go. She is of that old country stock, and they pass at home, you know? But, she is failing--she is really blind at this point, and frail, and I know she can't keep track of homelife. A few times last summer, I saw smoke pouring out the front door because she'd started something on the stove and fell asleep, almost burning the house down. I'm wondering where the monthly check goes...who cashes it?
And, this weekend the underfed dog was back (a white husky mix), tied to the porch, howling all weekend, slinking away when people approached. No water, no food. That drives MY dogs nuts, his yowling, and chain rattling. They know he's out there and simply can't stand it. I feel exactly the same.
I talked with Justin and he thought that maybe calling Senior Services wasn't a bad idea. Who knows, maybe they're just idiots, but they take care of her? I don't know, but I DEFINITELY don't like the group that the son is hanging around with, and the use of the van in the back. I really do worry for Violet's safety, and as she grows, I want to feel comfortable that she can play in her yard without concern. And, another neighbor, on the other side, has commented on the van as well, so I'm not the only one, I guess.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Jul 20 2009 : 05:41:59 AM
Oh, dear. Poor Mrs. W. It's so hard to get old. My grandparents are just barely hanging on now in their own home.
Here's a thought though...if she needs to move to an assisted living facility for her last years, that means the house will have to be sold to pay for it. In other words, no grand-daughter inheriting it. |
| Bear5 |
Posted - Jul 17 2009 : 6:55:21 PM
Jonni:
Keep us posted. I've thought about your neighbor, Mrs. W, all day today.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| Diane B Carter |
Posted - Jul 17 2009 : 4:44:04 PM
You will be doing Mrs W a big favor. I would keep calling annonymously. Everyday if needed. You have a baby that needs to be protected from these people and Mrs.W needs to be protected as well.
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
| RuralSuburbia |
Posted - Jul 17 2009 : 12:39:49 PM
From experience, it takes more than a couple of calls to the cops for them to keep a record of the address and occupants. So the more calls, the better. AND you can make them annonymously, you don't have to give your name, just say that you are a neighbor. And you can add 'possible elder abuse' and see if that doesn't speed things along. The whole situation scares me on yours and Mrs. W's behalf!
Don't answer the door after dark, even if you know who it is. Just call the police!
*I've got stars in my eyes and exactly $1 in my pocket!* |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Jul 17 2009 : 12:04:12 PM
I really do feel badly for Mrs W....it could be that she doesn't want to see them turned out, but honestly, in some regards, I don't think she's really all that with it anymore. She seems disassociated when I see her, and her eyesight is terrible. She really looked rather haggard the last time she came to the door. I will soul search this weekend and see if I want to open a can of worms...
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
| Bear5 |
Posted - Jul 17 2009 : 10:38:03 AM
OH MY!!!!
Jonni, no way would I have gone out to help it start its car! Does that woman have any morals, guess not. I feel sorry for the elderly lady. What a mess! If that continued, I would surely report the whole gang. Then, I'd go get that poor Mrs. W.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| kristin sherrill |
Posted - Jul 17 2009 : 10:36:35 AM
Wow, Jonni. What a mess. Sounds like those darned ole Bumpasses (?) in the Christmas Story movie but 10 times worse. Poor thing. I'm so glad we don't have neighbors out here to worry about. And that poor little old lady. I bet she's just really embarrassed. She's probably afraid of them herself and can't do a thing about it. Maybe she needs help tp get them away from her.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
| melanie47601 |
Posted - Jul 17 2009 : 10:26:16 AM
You poor girls. Jonni- I agree with the others. Mrs. W seems like a very sweet lady that wouldn't turn away a soul in need. But maybe secretly she wishes she could. You can go to social services and let them know everything that is going on and they have to keep it totally annoymous.
Karin- You're neighbor sounds scary. I would hate living next to him. My first thought was an electric fence but I'm sure that way too expensive.
Melanie
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!"
Blog~ http://wheelsarealwaysturning.blogspot.com/
Swap Blog~ http://mels-swapshop.blogspot.com/ |
| 1badmamawolf |
Posted - Jul 17 2009 : 09:03:23 AM
Jonni, Elder abuse is a comman problem all over, call the local social services and tell them what is going on over there to Mrs W, they will come out and interveiw her and the trash and if they determine any form of abuse, including monetary, they will bring the case to the D.A..
Karin, my thoughts for you are, set a few traps for him, legholds come to mind, but be very careful, this guy could turn on anyone at anytime, and since hes a "hunter", that could make him one dangerous man.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Jul 17 2009 : 08:39:49 AM
Amie, you're right about all of it. And you know what? They'd think it was T__, our neighbor across the street who has, in the past, called the police and code enforcement on them a number of times. Last time he called C.E., it was because she'd decided to have an (unadvertised) yardsale on Mother's Day (Sunday) and left the crap that didn't sell (um, all of it!) out in the front yard, like a 1980's electronics graveyard (hifi anyone???), for two solid weeks, rain and shine. She was mad about being told they would get a fine...
There used to be other family members that came into look in on Mrs. W because I think they felt that D___ couldn't be trusted, and they just don't come anymore--I guess they've given up and that's troubling to me.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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