| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| yarnmamma |
Posted - May 02 2009 : 09:16:11 AM
Funny Joke on Annoying People
Posted on May 2, 2009 by quotes
101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sensual massage.”
3. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip…”
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a “robot” voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will “swipe your grub”.
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog “Dog.” 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
16. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what YOU think.”
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your “astronaut training.”
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for “violating your airspace”.
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a “real hoot.”
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc:” them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a “spider person.”
26. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with the prophesy.”
27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a “croaking” noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of “Sweating to the Oldies” over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with “ooh la la!”
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write “X - BURIED TREASURE” in random spots on all of someone’s roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, its gone now.”
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as “Conquistador.”
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing “Jingle Bells, Batman smells” until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says “Magnificent One.”
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone’s shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer’s mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “no, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don’t want to fall off “in case the big one comes”.
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as “Feliz Navidad”, the Archies “Sugar” or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to “AaJohn Aaaaasmith” for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it’s a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each “a.”
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you’ve borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your “superior mental processing.”
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant “swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!”
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your “imaginary friend.”
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about “psychological profiles.”
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a “magic picture.”
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate “crop circles” in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend “tricorder,” and “scan” people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people’s parties.
Linda
in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71 |
| 13 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| yarnmamma |
Posted - May 05 2009 : 06:53:44 AM
LOL Jean...you are funny
Linda
in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71
The Universe says: Speak abundance and act abundantly, no matter what, and an outpouring of the "stuff," far in
excess of what we could ever spend will come! |
| River |
Posted - May 05 2009 : 06:50:33 AM
I've been making my own beeping noise when I back up for years! LOL So I'm way ahead of you! |
| yarnmamma |
Posted - May 03 2009 : 4:22:00 PM
LOL I thought I read 85 instead of 58 in your comment...
then I tried to picture you holding your hairdryer at cars going by!!!! LOL how funny!! I should try that!! I have a neighbor who would
Linda
in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71 |
| RuralSuburbia |
Posted - May 02 2009 : 8:35:11 PM
I use #58 regularly on my husband. Drives him nuts! lol
*I've got stars in my eyes and exactly $1 in my pocket!* |
| KJD |
Posted - May 02 2009 : 7:37:38 PM
Soooooooooooo funny!
Love #75 for some reason - |
| Sitnalta |
Posted - May 02 2009 : 2:23:51 PM
#84 kept hubby and I rolling for a good little while..lol. I swear people do that around here!haha
THanks for sharing!
hugs
Jessie
Farmgirl Sister #235
"You are my strength when I am weak. You are the treasure that I seek. You are my all in all. Seeking You as a precious jewel; Lord, to give up I'd be a fool. You are my all in all."
Stop by my blog for a visit www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
| lisamarie508 |
Posted - May 02 2009 : 1:34:01 PM
That's too funny. I've actually done #89 because the weed whacker died!
So, if I do most or all of them on a regular basis, you think somebody will have me committed for a little while? I could use a cheap vacation! LOL
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com |
| yarnmamma |
Posted - May 02 2009 : 1:03:00 PM
ha ha ha you are right...I waste too much time on this silly computer!! LOL
Linda
in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71 |
| Bellepepper |
Posted - May 02 2009 : 12:37:35 PM
Linda, you have too much time on your hands. LOL |
| yarnmamma |
Posted - May 02 2009 : 12:14:00 PM
Michele, you have to tell us what you and your sister do!!!
PLEASE tell us!!
Linda
in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71 |
| vintagediva1 |
Posted - May 02 2009 : 11:46:59 AM
Love it!!
My sister and I already do a number of these things on a daily basis but we now have new fuel to make us even more annoying
Thanks,
Michele
www.2vintagedivas.etsy.com
Love that good ole vintage junk |
| yarnmamma |
Posted - May 02 2009 : 10:03:19 AM
Yes! I agree1 Make cupcakes not war!
 
Linda
in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71 |
| one_dog_per_acre |
Posted - May 02 2009 : 09:58:43 AM
ROFL
Trish
Make cupcakes not war!
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