| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| sjs |
Posted - Apr 02 2009 : 12:01:47 PM
I mentioned in another thread that my husband was raised on a farm and really isn't wanting to go back to that life, but we were coming to some sort of agreement where we'd compromise so that we could both have what we want - a place near a larger city where I could still have my garden and a few animals. Recently, though, he's really down on the idea. It's making me really sad! He has this weird hangup about animals... saying that if I only wanted the big garden he wouldn't care where we live, but the animals makes him not want to do it at all.
I'm getting so tired of this argument. This is not only what I want, but what I need to do for my health and sanity. I'm not trying to drag him away from his life, but I want some place that's quiet and away from the craziness of city life. I want to be responsible for everything I put into my body, and I want to do physical labor in a place that's not a gym. My body absorbs all of the chaos of the city and makes me sick! I'm only 32 and I have more health problems than the older folks in my family. I'm over it! I want out on urban life!
It's really frustrating that this is such a point of contention. You'd think that my MIL (an Idaho farmgirl) would be of some help, but no... she just uses any opportunity to stick a wedge between me and DH. 
Grrrrrrrrrr.
Sorry for ranting.
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Learning to live is learning to let go.
Visit my food blog! http://www.wasabimon.com - natural cooking to live for.
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| 9 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| goneriding |
Posted - Apr 08 2009 : 10:38:13 AM
It seems to me you have several problems. One being that you want a farmette and he doesn't and the other being no support from either your hubby or your MIL. Why did he seem to want one and then he didn't? Bad memories? Seems to me that he would want/understand that you need your space too, not just what he wants. I'm not clear on this. What works for my hubby and me is 'brass tacks talking'. By that, I mean hubs and I let it all out. Not shouting or raising of voices but stating what we need to survive. I need my expensive upkeep horse to stay sane and he needs to go out gold panning or hunting to stay sane. He's not a horse fan and I'm not into panning but we need our things to cope with life...and each other.
Winona :-)
To read funny stories about my cooking 'skills', please visit http://lostadventuresincooking.blogspot.com/
For uber-opinionated, pleasurable horse related reading, please visit http://horseinfoperson.blogspot.com/
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| sjs |
Posted - Apr 08 2009 : 10:37:11 AM
Thanks :) My goal is to move to a place where I at least have a little plot of land, but the big goal is two or three acres where I can roam and garden. Soon, hopefully.
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Learning to live is learning to let go.
Visit my food blog! http://www.wasabimon.com - natural cooking to live for.
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| Tina Michelle |
Posted - Apr 07 2009 : 11:00:54 PM
don't know if this will help or not, but I have lived on a .25 acre lot in the city for 9 yrs. We planted lots of trees here, fruit and shade trees, hung bird feeders, created raised bed gardens, created an outdoor eating area..basically created a "country in the city" setting.Very private lot here edged with trees. And..we have 2 laying hens. Smack dab in the city. Our neighbors are cool with it..especially when we share extra eggs. So..saying all this to say..You CAN create a haven/oasis anywhere...it is up to you.And of course your neighbors and zoning board.:0)
If it is animals you are wanting there are many varieties of "miniature" farm animals too now that can be kept in the city.(mini cows, mini goats, mini horses. check your zoning/city ordinances.)
check out the web site Path To Freedom for even more ideas on what can be done on a .25 acre lot in the city. If you have the mind to..you can create quite a get away in the city.
~I Dream of a Better World..where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned!~
blogs:http://gardengoose.blogspot.com/
and http://thevictorygardener.blogspot.com
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| Alee |
Posted - Apr 07 2009 : 4:21:10 PM
*hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our blog: www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| sjs |
Posted - Apr 07 2009 : 12:55:20 PM
Thanks for all of your support, ladies. I really appreciate it. :)
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Learning to live is learning to let go.
Visit my food blog! http://www.wasabimon.com - natural cooking to live for.
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| Farmgirlheart |
Posted - Apr 02 2009 : 3:50:29 PM
I'm sorry to hear this Stephanie!!! But be true to yourself you know what you need! I hope you two can find a good comprimise!
HUGS!!! |
| Alee |
Posted - Apr 02 2009 : 2:36:41 PM
Oh Stephanie! I am so sorry you are in that situation. My husband is very similar. He got "burned" by the farming/ranching stuff as a kid (Being forced to spend summers helping his grandparents on their farm/ranchette) So he finally go onboard with the plan as long as he isn't expected to deal with the animals. I said that was fine- but I would expect him to feed and water if I was really sick or something. So I think we have worked out a good compromise.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our blog: www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Apr 02 2009 : 2:34:44 PM
Yeah, I can see why your husband would feel strongly about the animals (same reasons Heide gives above). If he's willing to go for the land and garden, it sounds like a good compromise to me. |
| NudeFoodFarm |
Posted - Apr 02 2009 : 12:32:54 PM
Oh sweetie!
I too have lived in the city having a tiny potted garden and now I am out in the middle of nowhere land. I never thought this would be me. I got here because my husband was raised on a 400 acre farm! Yep, in west virginia, his parents (well, I guess technically, his momma) raised sheep. Anyhow he always lived way out in the sticks and commuted into the city to work (usually squating on friends sofa's) where we met.
He love love loves the woods so I knew when we married that I was going to compromise and move rural. In my fantasy world we would have 2 places, one flat downtown and a cabin in the woods. Ha, with the cost of living who can hardly keep one house? So because of my love of gardening and his love of the wilderness we moved to Eastern WA to an irrigated desert previously cow farm.
But we too also have an agreement ~no animals. I tricked him into having chicks a few years ago. On Easter I pulled out a shoebox of baby chicks and our girls fell instantly in love, what could he do?
Then in that experience I learned why he didn't want the animals, #1 it is very hard to leave overnight. #2 there are situations where they die #3 There might even be situations where you have to kill them. This was the part my husband was not cool about because I didn't want to to the killing and nor did he. I have come to respect this trait in him and we compromise, I can have all the plants I want and no animals.
But I want to state the loss I felt when we moved out here. I no longer had the social interaction, we go days never leaving our property; you really got to love your partner. I am different then the community of families who have been homesteading here for over a hundred years. It is a lot of work and we hardly make a living but we do love one another and this is what we said we wanted to do.
The "hobby farm" is very real in the suburbs and I am seeing more and more "urban farms" so maybe if it is getting dirty you can do it where you are. I know in WA and OR there is a huge community garden movement and even us, the Prosser Farm Chicks are starting a community garden where the produce is going to the food bank.
Something my husband and I did years ago was we each wrote a list of the 10 top things that mattered in our life and we figured out a plan how to encompass them. The challenge is those top 10 change so we have to keep doing the list and then adapting to each other.
ahhhhhhhh
the joys of love,
Best of luck and it never hurts to go camping and get out of town for a weekend.
h
ps I love your tag "learning to live is learning to let go"
Nude Food Farm
~Grown so good,
Dressing is Optional. |
