| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| HeathersStitches |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 07:46:21 AM
Many of you know that DH has been laid off Nov. 5th and is still looking for work. Today he is leaving for Louisville Kentucky for a Tues. interview. It's looking like they really want him and we will know more tomorrow after his interview. I should be very happy but I'm not and here's why...He will have to get an extended stay or small short term lease on an apartment, this is a 6 month contract and it's 3 1/2 hours away from here..He will be able to come home on the weekends but Mon-Fri I'm Mommy and Daddy! We have bills to pay, mortgage and ect..I'm NOT losing my house..everything else can go..I can go back to no truck easily. I understand that Military wives are without their spouses for a long time and I'm not slighting this at all but I'm not a Military wife and have never been without DH for such a long period of time before except for short business trips. With the 3 kids-2 in school, 3 dogs, and still Hoss..It's not like we can easily follow DH and sell our house. No one is buying houses in this economy. We are waiting till after Tues. to make a decision on Hoss..We might have to sell him..I can't be out in the barn in the dead of Winter and chance falling/slipping trying to take care of him and have just the kids in the house..We are saddened that it has come to this, He is a lovely old man. We have already informed Pipen's owner that she has to move her horse.
SO it's December 1st and we are facing some major changes here. We have already decorated the house for Christmas and I made sure to play enough Christmas music to cheer us up! Crystal is the oldest so she understands what we have told her but is still very nervous/scared..the other 2 are too young to grasp it.
So any Farmgirl thoughts to make this transition easier (assuming it goes as thought, We are planning on this right now)?
http://heathersheartfeltstitches.blogspot.com/ |
| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Jami |
Posted - Dec 02 2008 : 07:25:46 AM
Heather, every time I've gone through a big bump in the road of life, simplifying and prioritizing has been something that has rewarded me greatly and I hope it's the same for you. It's hard but good to "take stock" once in a while, even though it's not fun. I know you can do this and I'll keep you in my prayers for the journey.
Jami in WA
Farmgirl Sister #266
http://woolyinwashington.wordpress.com/
http://farmhouseflair.etsy.com |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Dec 02 2008 : 06:51:41 AM
Heather- take it all with a silver lining. As a military wife who is about to make ANOTHER big change, I learned grace and patience allows your heart and head to listen. It is tough, you think you are settled, you like your grocery store, the kid's school and friends, you know exactly the back roads and where all the cool places are in town. Then WHAM!!! up and at them again!! If you can find time just to be quiet, your answer will come and it will all be alright. I went 8 months without the help of anyone and I survived and so can you.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
| chickabella |
Posted - Dec 02 2008 : 01:59:07 AM
Oh, some concrete suggestions that reflect what Spouse and I have worked out:
1. Make sure everyone helps clean up the house on the last day DH is there, so you're not faced with a huge mess come Monday morning. At the very least, the kitchen cleaned, dishes done, and the laundry caught up!
2. On Saturday or Sunday, cook up and refrigerate/freeze several meals (or plan on eating & modifying one main course) to help give you more free time during the week.
3. Make some time during the weekend for you and DH to have some "privacy/getting to know you time". It can be as little as 20 minutes. Now, what you do with that time is, ah, up to you *wink-wink*.
4. During the week, combine errands so you're not having to run around constantly.
5. Delegate as much as possible, and prioritize whatever is truly important. The rest can slide.
EDIT: forgot these...
6. Everyone hold hands and hug each other as much as possible when DH is home. Cuddle on couch for movies, etc.
7. Try to manage the "get it done" mindset. Things will need to get done when DH is home, but if getting things done is the only thing on your minds, it can preclude what little time you have available for things like affection and just sharing a cup of coffee together. Remember #5 above.
Good luck!
Farm blog: http://farmnatters.blogspot.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/dasparky
Heart of Texas Farmgirls Chapter; Farmgirl Sisterhood Member #275
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| chickabella |
Posted - Dec 02 2008 : 01:52:18 AM
Like others have said, hang in there, it can be done, and take it one step at a time. I like the suggestion to set up some sort of web cam so the children can have "daddy time".
Although we have no children, Spouse is doing the same work schedule (away during the week, home on the weekends), while I hold down a full-time job on graveyard shift and take care of the farm during the day. It's hard - the work, the erratic sleep, and most of all missing him - but it's a short-term sacrifice we've chosen. May the best possible outcome happen for you and your family.
Farm blog: http://farmnatters.blogspot.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/dasparky
Heart of Texas Farmgirls Chapter; Farmgirl Sisterhood Member #275
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| therusticcottage |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 10:30:26 PM
Heather - I'm so sorry to hear about your stress! But it's great that your husband might have a job. I know that it would be hard for you to both Mom and Dad during the week. That's a tough one. However, in this job climate, you almost have to be thankful for any job that would come along. And 3 1/2 months isn't that long. I will be praying for both of you for wisdom to make the right decision for your whole family.
Handmade Soap and More! http://therusticcottage.etsy.com
The Rustic Cottage Blog http://therusticcottage.blogspot.com
PROUD FARMGIRL SISTER #100 |
| homemom |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 12:38:27 PM
Heather,
I am so sorry to hear about this upheaval. I know that especially at this time of year that it can bring added stress. I will be thinking of you and your family and praying for an added measure of strength and wisdom.
Ruth
Living the farm life in my heart.
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Ruth
http://farmgirlinmyheart.blogspot.com/ |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 12:31:37 PM
Heather, I can definitely sympathize with you. I'll be losing my job sometime in the next year. It's so hard to make plans for the future, not knowing exactly what's going to happen. In a way, it's easier starting out with nothing than making big changes when you've already got so many obligations.
I know at least one other woman whose husband works far away from the family. This year he had only been able to come home on occasional weekends. She has four horses, and hasn't had to get rid of them. If you are concerned about safety, and it's not possible to have someone else do your horse chores, perhaps you could at least make an arrangement with a friend to call you every day or for someone to come by and watch the kids while you do your barn work? That's less of a commitment than actually working with the horse. |
| pinkroses |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 11:54:16 AM
Oh Heather,
And I thought I was stressted???
I am not sure what other advice I can give you.
Expect to try and make the best of things.
Remember that this change may be for the best??
Thinking of you and hugs Sheila
www.ohkayteagirl2.blogspot.com
http;//www.sheilascreativetouches.blogspot.com |
| acairnsmom |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 09:53:01 AM
Heather, having gone through 3 stints of DH working out of state for long periods I can understand SOME of your worries. I never had the kids or the horse to worry about so my situation was different but it sounds like you are being level headed about this and with farmgirl pluck, you'll make it work.
Jen suggested staying in touch via webcam and I know my sister uses a service called SKYPE to talk to her daughter at college. You might want to look at skype.com.
Instead of selling Hoss, is there anyway you could put him up for the winter at a neighbor or a boarder? If you could swing it financially it would ease your mind a bit knowing he's taken care of but you still own him and can go visit. Then when the weather is nice again you can bring him home. Or perhaps you know of someone like a high schooler (or another SAHM) who needs some extra money and could come tend him daily for you? I would just hate to see you sell him and then find that your situation has changed again.
Hang in there. You sound like a strong lady who knows what she wants. As my momma was fond of saying, it could be worse!
Audrey
Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 09:42:15 AM
Heather, I hope all goes well with the job...and let me say that I know it will be hard for you to be away from him for such long stretches, but it is doable. My father was with the horseracing industry, and travelled much of the year, living in Evansville, or Columbus, or Wilmington, Delaware, or Louisville, Kentucky--he died away from us while working in Arizona. My mother managed very well on her own, and I know now how difficult it must have been for her--to keep everything going, to work full time, to put up with me (especially in my mean "teens") and then simply to miss my father, and all those little moments that couples have. Our summers were spent visiting him at whatever far flung racetrack he happened to be working at the time. We spent a lot of time on the phone, and that was long before cell phones and unlimited long distance plans :)
I know that you have the farmgirl spirit, and you can persevere. My mother always said it was a lesson to herself about how strong she was. That she could do anything and everything, and that she could still maintain the house and a sense of normalcy for me, even when it really wasn't all that normal.
I'm hoping this doesn't last for too very long, but know that we are all here for you, and that you can do it, I know it!!! |
| K-Falls Farmgirl |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 09:17:51 AM
(((hugs)) We are here for you Heather. Farmgirls do that.... It sounds like you have a plan and are thinking things out. You know what's best for you & your family. Miracles do happen.. Hold on to those boot straps and take one thing at a time as somebody once told me.
http://www.k-fallsfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
Cheryl #309
Farm girl sister
Enjoy the little things in life....someday you'll look back and realize they were the big things. |
| La Patite Ferme |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 08:54:52 AM
Heather - I can sympathize with your concerns. After my divorce I thought I would never be able to do this alone, but with little steps and a few falls we are here and just fine. I think your idea of planning to downsize what you may not be able to handle alone is very wise. I would also suggest stocking up as much as possible so you wont have to make spur of the moment trips to town. What I found most helpful was to keep the routine the same - as much as possible - and to not sweat the small stuff.
One suggestion to keep the kids connected with dad is getting a webcam so you all can talk each night. I don't know how much they cost, but my friend visits with her grandkids a few times a week and she said it works really well.
Good luck, stay positive and remember this could be a blessing in disguise. |
| Alee |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 08:40:42 AM
Heather- I know how hard these things can be and how stressful it can be as well. *hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our blog: www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| willowtreecreek |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 08:01:06 AM
Heather I am sorry you are feeling so much stress. It is good that you are decorating and trying to keep in good spirits. The onl advise I can give you is to take each thing one at a time. If you look at the BIG PICUTRE it will all seem very overwhelming. Break it down into managable bits. First look at the job interview. If all goes well with that than look at what will be done about the long commute and needing an apartment. And then figure out the next thing. A lot of times the solution is a lot simpler than it seems at first.
Just a thought. I don't know if you belong to a church but perhaps if you do - you could contact the church that is near this new job. Maybe someone in the church as a garage apartment they would be willing to let your husband use or rent for a lower cost than traditional apartments. I had to do this once and was able to find several church members who were able to provide places for me to stay!
good luck!
Farmgirl Sister #17
Blog
www.willowtreecreek.wordpress.com
Felt and Fabric Crafts
www.willowartist.etsy.com
www.willowtreecreek.com
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| ruralfarmgirl |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 07:57:26 AM
Heather,
I wish I had some great Pearls of wisdom but other then to say take it "one day at a time" and KNOW that we farmgirls will do all we can do to keep your heart as light as possible. Sometimes these oppertunities show us what we are really made of, you might just surprise yourself...........The upside is that DH will have work and in this economy that isnt so bad.... For the little ones, maybe you can make a calendar that they can X off.. for when daddy is home again full time. best of luck to you, keep us up dated!
Rene~Prosser Farmgirl #185
http://farmchicksfarm.blogspot.com/
Circumstances made us FRIENDS; MaryJane's has made us SISTERS :) |
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