| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| dargaonfly1054 |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 11:22:18 AM
Hi, I haven't been on in a while but I am still alive and kicking. I have a question for anyone who will care to give me their opinion.
My best friend and I have finally set a date for our wedding, he is 68 and I am 53............ we've both been married once before. I feel so silly making a big fuss about it at our ages, but my first wedding was so horrible, I really want something very very special. Any ideas or suggestions?
"There is a voice that doesn't use words........Listen." |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| dargaonfly1054 |
Posted - Jul 01 2008 : 08:52:22 AM
Oh, I know the piece of paper makes absolutely no difference. And I KNOW he loves me, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that he does. He has an abundance of patience, but me.....I may be learning some from him. But in the process I know I am holding back some of my personality. Your words really made a difference in the way I have been feeling Christina, I thank you for that.
"There is a voice that doesn't use words........Listen." |
| City_Chick |
Posted - Jul 01 2008 : 07:48:25 AM
Georgette if you are still holding onto some old baggage then we definitly need to get you past that; or at least get it to a manageable point that you are feeling confindent and asured in your own mind. I am sure this gentleman loves you dearly if you have been together for over 2 years. Patience is a virtue that you both obviously have an abundance of. Just cherish each other and trust it will all come together. A formal piece of paper doesn't make that bond any stronger in my opinion. It is what lies in your hearts. You are desrving and worth all happiness in the world.
Best~
Christina
Christina
Farmgirl Sister #195
Although no one can go back and make a brand new start; anyone can start from now
and make a brand new end.
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| dargaonfly1054 |
Posted - Jul 01 2008 : 07:02:24 AM
But we've been living together for over 2 years, so there has been no rush. It is just all my old baggage, I'm afraid. I want to be happy..........I guess I am a bit overwhelmed by many things. And I need to take care of me first.
Thanks again for your well wishes.
"There is a voice that doesn't use words........Listen." |
| Jami |
Posted - Jul 01 2008 : 06:54:34 AM
Georgette, it sounds like you're a bit overwhelmed by the whole idea and taking some time will be good for you. There's no rush, right? Whatever you decide to do, be happy.
Jami in WA
Okay, so now I have a blog. http://woolyinwashington.wordpress.com/ |
| dargaonfly1054 |
Posted - Jul 01 2008 : 06:43:28 AM
Well, we did some more talking last night and (he doesn't know what a messed up head he got when he met me) and as of right now we have kind of decided to call it off. Just simply live together. I have so many issues with marriage and weddings and all. So thank you all so very much for your well wishes. Maybe if I go see a counselor I could somehow get my muddled head screwed on a little straighter. Lets hope.
Georgette
"There is a voice that doesn't use words........Listen." |
| City_Chick |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 2:44:05 PM
Georgette dear,
My mother has been married a few times since my father left her.
The one thing that I know is that children love their parents no matter what. I am sure that his will want to be a part of both of yours special day. If you have only met them once I see no reason why they should not have a positive opinion you. Out of respect for their father they should have enough to respect for you both to be attendance if at all posible. I know that can sometimes be difficult to arrange when there is distance issues. However, I am sure that all will turn out well. I know it is difficult not to worry about all of these things but it should be a joyous event for everyone involved. Stay positive and have faith.
Love is rare to find and it should be cherished. With your kind and giving manor I can be almost certain that your own children will welcome him into their lives and yours with open arms and stand proudly besides you both on your special day.
Your plans for the wedding sound absolutely beautiful. They would be just like something that I would hope for when my husband and I renew our vows in four years for our twentieth anniversary. Nothing beats simple elegance and charm.
Christina
Farmgirl Sister #195
Although no one can go back and make a brand new start; anyone can start from now
and make a brand new end.
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| Mumof3 |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 2:27:48 PM
Congratulations, Georgette!! No advice, just wanted you to know how happy I am for you. :)
Karin
Farmgirl Sister
# 18 :)
Wherever you go, there you are.
www.madrekarin.blogspot.com
www.madrekarin.etsy.com |
| Jami |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 1:51:54 PM
It's called Leavenworth and it is lovely. My brother and sis-in-law live there and have for years. It's about 1 1/2 hours away from my house.
Maybe you should married in Leavenworth and invite his kids there!!! What an idea huh? I can vouch for the place...
I am really excited for you.
Jami in WA
Okay, so now I have a blog. http://woolyinwashington.wordpress.com/ |
| dargaonfly1054 |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 12:44:49 PM
Oh, Jami, I think I know that little Bavarian town you speak of....!!! My soon to be hubby's children live in Seattle and we took a little side trip of our own and came through the most beautiful little town that so looked like it could be in Switzerland, I just can't remember the name of it.. But I loved that town. Lucky you!!! We probably won't do a honeymoon, unless it is to go to Seattle to see his children in case they can't come. I didn't plan to do a traditional wedding dress either. Just a very beautiful one and one I can wear a big ol fancy hat with!!
"There is a voice that doesn't use words........Listen." |
| Jami |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 12:41:24 PM
Oops, Georgette, just read your post about the "kids" and the family thing. My opinion is that you invite them and let them decide about whether they can come or not and try not to get offended if they don't. To me, that is their issue and you can only be a gracious "host" and invite them. It would be my hope a friend such as you have chosen for a husband would have kids with some nice attributes too...you might be surprised that they will just love you soon enough. I hope so.
Jami in WA
Okay, so now I have a blog. http://woolyinwashington.wordpress.com/ |
| Jami |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 12:37:23 PM
Well, it should be a special day no matter what! Congrats.
I am married a second time (husband's first) and we both sat down and tried to figure out how to go about a wedding without spending a fortune and making a huge deal and stress out of it. We decided on a wedding chapel in a quaint little Bavarian themed town near us with a small family wedding. No gifts were accepted. A minister presided over the ceremony but the chapel was so beautiful and all setup with chairs, gorgeous decorations, music "piped in" and a minister to boot! No special flowers and all of that but it was so lovely we didn't need all of that. Afterwards we went to our favorite Mexican restaurant and had a wonderful dinner all together as a "reception" and then cake and a social hour at my brother's house nearby. It was a great day, all of our family members were there to share and yet it wasn't all fancy and didn't cause any stress to anyone. You didn't mention if you wanted family around or just to be the 2 of you and witnesses?
I didn't do the traditional wedding dress, bought a gorgeous dress that my DH still loves because it reminds him of our special day and we bought him a coordinating shirt and tie. One fun thing was one person brought disposable cameras and handed them out to the guests as they arrived so we had lots of pictures from all angles! My daughter took the "official" pictures with my nice camera. It's really a day I look back on with very fond memories and there was no stress involved. I liked that part a lot! Yet it was special and felt like a wedding too. I did the invites myself (western theme).
I think the most important thing is to enjoy it and yet make it special for the memory bank...spending a lot of money and going nutso over a ceremony that is over was not my bag...I had been there and done that already.
Did I mention, we spent our "dough" on a trip to Ireland for a honeymoon...it was a glorious trip, one I won't ever forget. I can't wait to hear what you will decide to do...do tell!
Jami in WA
Okay, so now I have a blog. http://woolyinwashington.wordpress.com/ |
| dargaonfly1054 |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 12:30:56 PM
Hi Christina.....surrounded by family. I am so scared that his children won't "want" or be able to attend. They all live so far away........and I am so shy and have only met them once........ and afraid they don't like me.............. oh the list goes on and on!!! I would love to have my two sons give me away and my daughter be my maid of honor, but I don't know if he will have anyone standing with him. I am not a "big fussy" person, so would want something simple........but elegant. Something country but beautiful.......and I want very much to wear a big brim Kentucky Derby style hat!!!!
"There is a voice that doesn't use words........Listen." |
| KYgurlsrbest |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 12:20:12 PM
removed |
| City_Chick |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 12:19:05 PM
What happy news Georgette! I think that as long as you plan from the heart and are surrounded by family and good friends your wedding will be perfect. I am a firm believer that a wedding day is more about the commitment we are making to our loved one that matters most. Of course beautiful flowers and a good hair day don't hurt.
Many blessings to you both.
Christina
Farmgirl Sister #195
Although no one can go back and make a brand new start; anyone can start from now
and make a brand new end.
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| melanie47601 |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 12:16:26 PM
Georgette, I think that is just a man thing. The more questions I ask mine about the wedding or anything remotley close the more he bottles up. Men, go figure...
Melanie
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart." Helen Keller
http://wheelsarealwaysturning.blogspot.com/ |
| willowtreecreek |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 12:13:00 PM
what about a destination wedding that could also double as a honeymoon. Someplace like Hawaii. My hubby and I renewed our vows in a traditional Hawaiian ceremony on the beach at sunset. It was very romantic.
Farmgirl Sister #17
Blog
www.willowtreecreek.wordpress.com
Felt and Fabric Crafts
www.willowartist.etsy.com
www.willowtreecreek.com
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| KYgurlsrbest |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 12:09:11 PM
Congratulations, Georgette! You know, my first wedding (and marriage) were rather terrible, and when I had the opportunity to do it again, I jumped on it. Of course, we're not big production people, and we already had established households (so, no gifts...donations to charities of our choice was something we did), and it was wonderful. I wouldn't change a thing. There was only one naysayer among our friends, who is no longer a friend. She felt I was "gauche" because I had been married previously, and my husband and I were going to have a nice ceremony and that I was considering an actual wedding dress (hadn't had one the first go around...)...She felt that we needed to get married in our street clothes in secret by the JP.
All I can say is have a wonderful time--marriage should be a celebration!!!
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
| dargaonfly1054 |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 12:00:05 PM
Hello Diane, that sounds really lovely with the checkered table cloths and the pretty flowers...very country....but my daughter got married last year and had sunflowers. I guess I'd rather go with another flower....but there are so many to chose from!! And Melanie I think my guy is on a different page than I am .... and I "feel" like I may have "pushed" him, although I know he is an adult and can make up his own mind, still, it is more important to me than to him. *sigh*
"There is a voice that doesn't use words........Listen." |
| melanie47601 |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 11:42:30 AM
Hey Georgette! Don't feel silly. I think a wedding should be a fun, romantic, loving fairytale adventure no matter how old you are. What is age, but a number. Maybe think about what you and your guy are passionate about and tailor your wedding with those ideas in place. (can take a little work, but would be special to both of you) It can be small and simple or big and flashy, just as long as it's what you want.
Me and my guy are thinking a country/western wedding. We just can't settle on a date. *sigh* Also I think it would be really nice to get your hubby-2-be's thoughts on what he would like to see in your wedding.
Congratulations and best wishes!
Melanie
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart." Helen Keller
http://wheelsarealwaysturning.blogspot.com/ |
| DaisyFarm |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 11:40:40 AM
Hi Georgette and many congratulations. I am so happy for you, how great is that to be marrying your best friend! And I don't think it's silly at all to want a special wedding.
I don't really have any ideas or suggestions as I'm not sure what your tastes are. Some would prefer barefoot on a beach while others would prefer more traditional church and rented hall. I did see a gorgeous table setting for a country wedding in a magazine that I thought was so pretty. They used traditional checkered table cloths with large sunflower bouquets highlighted with blue bachelor buttons. Was so pretty and so country!
Di
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