| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| dg7954 |
Posted - Oct 11 2005 : 07:36:17 AM
During a meditation I had about ten years ago, I was told the following: "Our entire life is about loss and development of coping skills. It is the purpose of our being here to evolve and grow". I got to thinking about this, and it began to make so much sense to me that it changed my life, and I want to share it with you. Just think about it. From the moment you enter this world, you begin to age. You gain all of your facilities (speech, walking, etc). You are at the height of your game (physically) at around 30, then it starts to go downhill. You begin to lose things as you age. Ultimately, you lose the resiliency of your skin, your vision, your hair, your physical strength, your memory, etc. Then there are the other areas of loss. Death of your family members (parents), your place of power (retirement, or empty-nester), your spouse, your home (too old to keep it), your ability to drive. How about, your identity? You change from a young woman that is used to being looked at by men, to an invisible old woman.
You lose your period, and your ability to have children. There are a million ways we lose things and feelings day to day as we age. It starts so young, with the first day of school (loss of staying home with Mom), to, perhaps, ending up the last survivor of your family and friends. But, take heart, don't fret about the losses. IT IS ALL ABOUT HOW WE DEAL WITH THEM! Making friends with loss and coping with change or the absence of something we treasured, is what we are here to do. There is a natural order to things. Once again, going with the flow of energy that moves you through your life can be heartbreakingly bumpy, or a somewhat smoothe ride. For every loss there will be more than one choice of how to deal with it. Aging? Look around at the men and women fighting it and trying to disrupt the order of things. Celebrities that, I swear, are wearing two pot holders inside their faces to look "younger", is like putting a wig on a newborn. It doesn't look right, and never will. And they are not fooling anyone. They are fighting the loss of something they think they cannot cope with. But the underlying part of dealing with loss is to develop coping skills, and choosing a loving, positive choice about the loss. This works across the board from the smallest loss in your life to the largest. It is what makes your soul evolve. There are hidden perks in every loss. We see old age as a loss of power, because our society worships youth. The young are envied, but why? They don't know anything yet. And, would you really want to go through puberty again? How about the insecurity of Junior High? I would rather be lobotomized. I see life as a game, so when I turn a corner, I try to figure out the best next step. I have life experience, so I know I have the tools to deal with the choice. And, I always seem to find a benefit to that age I hadn't known was there. I don't mean to sound like Pollyanna. I just don't see aging the way society does. Society treats the elderly the same way they treat children. It talks down to them, disrespects them, and dumps them in daycare asap. In other countries I have visited, this does not seem to be the case. The family structure is much stronger, and the young and elderly are vital parts of the family. I really don't care about society here. I am enjoying the age I am more than when I was 17. And I don't intend to lose my power any time soon. I think of it all this way:
Loss = Wisdom and Strength, so what's to lose? |
| 8 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| westernhorse51 |
Posted - Oct 11 2005 : 5:08:47 PM
Klara, I never read the book but thanks, Im going to now. Sounds like something I would love reading. I'll be 54 this Dec. and I love it, all of it. I move slower sometimes but now I CAN smell the roses, before I went to fast to take in anything. Michele
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
| realme52 |
Posted - Oct 11 2005 : 3:46:26 PM
I agree with the ones amongst you who say that age is not about loss but gain!
I'm 53 and facing a lot of moments where I discover that things aren't the way they were when I was 35, or any other age for that matter! I wouldn't want to "go back" if they paid me for it! I have so much now that I would have to give up if I went back to "youth".
Not materially, but ideally, spiritually, in what I know about myself and life, about others and the world! Even certain things about my body (like painful joints, weightgain, taking longer to do things, etc.) can't change my mind!
Has anyone ever read "Fountain of Age" by Betty Friedan? She turns the "fountain of youth" thing around.
From this hour I ordain myself loss'd of limits and immaginary lines. Walt Whitman |
| Utahfarmgirl |
Posted - Oct 11 2005 : 3:13:50 PM
It's not about losing, it's about learning and growing. I believe that from everything you've "lost", you've gained something, even if it is just wisdom or the intent to not lose anything again. I'd never want to go back to being a young woman (I'm 59). That Patricia was nice, but not very wise. I love who I am now. I just kinda smile and shake my head at who I was then.
Happy Wishes! |
| jpbluesky |
Posted - Oct 11 2005 : 11:57:27 AM
I needed your message above. I too often feel worry and dread about life's struggles. Thank you!
To share back with you all, 30 years ago I found this short poem and thought I would like to put it here:
It may never be mine,
The loaf, or the kiss, or the kingdom,
because of beseeching.
But I know that my hand is an arm's length nearer to heaven
For reaching.
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| blueroses |
Posted - Oct 11 2005 : 10:50:00 AM
Michele,
That is a beautiful poem! We would never laugh. You should submit it somewhere so others can appreciate it and think on the message.
"You cannot find peace...by avoiding life."
Virginia Woolfe |
| westernhorse51 |
Posted - Oct 11 2005 : 08:18:36 AM
SORRY! I went to fix the spelling and somehow got it up there twice. me and computers!!!!!!!! Tried to get rid of the one but dont know how! Sorry, Michele
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
| westernhorse51 |
Posted - Oct 11 2005 : 08:16:00 AM
Never, ever do I now or ever did, look at age like a loss of anything. I feel age is a gift. We are born to die but it's all the stuff inbetween that matters. To me one of the most beautiful things to see in the world is an older woman, men too but older women are so beautiful to me. Every wrinkle was earned, every bit of struggle, happiness and sorrow shows like it should. Aging isnt about wrinkles and what we lost, it's about growing and what we've gained. I feel sorry for the members of society who feel aging is a loss. I wrote a poem a few years ago for my sister, never gave it to her, but she was freaking out about age and I wanted to soothe her. DON'T laugh but here it is;
Reflections
She sat quietly, morning sun shining through the window. As she searched her face in the mirror, she smiled and thought to herself;
The beauty of her youth is gone but something took it's place
with undenying passage, she accepts it all with grace.
Mother nature has a plan it seems commanding us to age
with dignity and urging, we gently turn the page.
The wisdom of the woman who still stands tall with pride
knows that all true beauty,only comes from whats inside.
Now as she enters the winter of her life, she reflects on her accomplishments and of them, she is most proud of her heart.
Not great I know but I wanted to send her a message and let her know it's ok to age, it's an honor! Michele
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
| westernhorse51 |
Posted - Oct 11 2005 : 08:13:18 AM
Never, ever do I now or ever did, look at age like a loss of anything. I feel age is a gift. We are born to die but it's all the stuff inbetween that matters. To me one of the most beautiful things to see in the world is an older woman, men too but older women are so beautiful to me. Every wrinkle was earned, every bit of struggle, happiness and sorrow shows like it should. Aging isnt about wrinkles and what we lost, it's about growing and what we've gained. I feel sorry for the members of society who feel aging is a loss. I wrote a poem a few years ago for my sister, never gave it to her, but she was freaking out about age and I wanted to soothe her. DON'T laugh but here it is;
Reflections
She sat quietly, morning sun shining through the window. As she searched her face in the mirror, she smiled and thought to herself;
The beauty of her youth is gone but something took it's place
with undenying passage, she accepts it all with grace.
Mother nature has a plan it seems commanding us to age
with dignity and urging, we gently turn the page.
The wisdom of the woman who still stands tall with pride
knows that all true beauty,only comes from whta's inside.
Now as she enters the winter of her life, she reflects on her accomplishments and og them, she is most proud of her heart.
Not great I know but I wanted to send her a message and let her know it's ok to age, it's an honor! Michele
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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