| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Jun 11 2008 : 7:01:25 PM
I do.
I just received some pictures from my sis (the one who I don't have much contact with) and I must say, she has gained a lot of weight. Now, I don't want to sound catty or this to come out wrong, but this is the same gal who teased and taunted me from age 12 until 3 years ago (last time I saw her physically) about my weight, even when I actually was thinner than her a few years ago. I even bordered on being so unhealthy just to be left alone and suffering from depression from it. She reminded me how ugly and fat I was pretty much everyday and made me very body image negative. I told her once "What goes around comes around and one day,,,one day..." I am not the type to write back and say anything but I really truly believe that old adage.
I just needed to get this off my chest because I think quietly sitting back and watching it happen is the best "answer". I felt the pain and torture of all those years fall away today. Strange huh??? It some weird sense, it is great therapy for me. It makes me know I am a real person and validates that I was not a bad person all those years.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
| 12 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Jun 13 2008 : 3:10:08 PM
I admit, I gloated a little just because this has been something that has been horrible for me for the last 20 years of my life, then I thanked God for making me tolerant and accepting of others because of what I have been through.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
| Jami |
Posted - Jun 13 2008 : 2:29:21 PM
I call it "natural consequences" which is reaping what you sow, what goes around comes around, getting what you deserve and so on. I have always thought it was God's way of keeping us humble...because what we reap we usually sow sooner or later. The hard part is not to gloat when we see others natural consequences but it's awfully hard not to feel a bit of satisfaction after a person has "sown" so many weeds in your lawn of life. 
Jami in WA |
| abbysshadow |
Posted - Jun 13 2008 : 08:45:24 AM
oops... P.S....yes I do believe that what goes around, comes around... hehe...
home with all my heart :)
...I cannot do all the good that the world needs, but the world needs all the good that I can do... |
| abbysshadow |
Posted - Jun 13 2008 : 08:15:24 AM
...is it only we women who torture ourselves worrying about being something/someone who is acceptable to someone else? I am 51 years old and I finally know who I really am, and am comfortable with who I am....I just went thru about 10 years of being miserable as all of this stuff came to a head for me. For my whole life I compared myself to others in every area, and of course I didn't measure up so I continually tried to be different. I have never trusted anyone's feeling for me because I thought "if they really knew me, they would not like me at all." By the time i was in my forties I didn't know who I was. I actually felt lost and alone. I almost threw away my marriage and all that is precious to me now. I thank God that I didn't have an affair or do something equally stupid. I went across the country to live for a few months last year with a dear friend from the internet. ( I had known her for a long time, and she was very ill and I went to be a help to her, as much as to help myself). My husband and I started divorce proceedings, etc....He was so sad and didn't understand, but neither did I...I had no answers for him other than that I was not happy... While I was gone, I experienced panic attacks and other signs that my decisions and ideas could not be trusted. I forged ahead and flew home to get my stuff sorted out...the minute I saw my hubby, something hit me and said "stay"....We had been married 25 years...he has his quirks, but he is a wonderful man...I know I could never do any better. I was back for 3 days and things were still shaky when my "SURPRISE!" granddaughter was born....OMG I could have missed that had I not been home....we have worked thru things and my marriage is better than ever...I went to a doctor and was prescribed something for mild depression...It feels so good to just be "ME"......So anyway...I didn't mean for this post to be "All About Me" lol....it just all came out as i was trying to reply to Miss Heather :) I know that I am not the only woman to go thru these type of feelings... Thank you all for listening....and Heather, just love who you are, don't feel guilty for feeling a bit catty....hugs, Sherry
home with all my heart :)
...I cannot do all the good that the world needs, but the world needs all the good that I can do... |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Jun 12 2008 : 06:05:53 AM
Yes, my sister has always been the attention seeker and has always competed with me in some way though I never tried to out do her, I have just lived my life. I know as a fact my sister harbors a lot of guilt over how she treated people when she was younger but she is doing everything in her life except for just saying sorry to fix it.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
| lisamarie508 |
Posted - Jun 12 2008 : 05:09:12 AM
This must be a fairly common thing, Heather. I have a sister like that, too. I agree with Sarah in that I think folks like our sisters have their own demons that the only way they seem to feel better about them is to put others down. My sister's words and actions have bitten her in the butt several times (divine intervention, fate, karma?) but it has not changed her ways. Of course, I still love her...she's my sister. And it's obvious from your post that you still love your sister, too. You didn't sound mean at all.
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog: http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My Website:
http://www.freewebs.com/lisamariesbasketry/index.htm |
| levisgrammy |
Posted - Jun 12 2008 : 05:06:37 AM
I do believe that "what goes around comes around" and I believe it happens in lots of situations. I think that's why we need to be careful of the choices we make in certain situations even those we don't realize are affecting others. I have made many decisions not thinking or caring how it will affect someone else. I have also been in situations that I have not made the final decisions and yet I have suffered consequences for those decisions. We just need to make our choices with the "long run" in mind. Being careful of the around us when we do.
just my 2 cents
Denise
farmgirl sister #43
"Take a lesson from the teakettle, though up to its
neck in hot water...it sings!"
www.torismimi.blogspot.com
www.torisgram.etsy.com |
| Mumof3 |
Posted - Jun 12 2008 : 04:59:49 AM
I wonder if your sister was treated the same as you were as a child and is behaving that way as a defense? We tend to project our feelings and treat those closest to us with less-than-loving treatment in an odd attempt to get attention and affection. It rarely works that way though. Now that all of the things you have felt have "fallen away" it would be a good time to begin mending the fences that need repair. Family can be very trying at best, but they are just that- family, those people that you are genetically bound to forever. This is the perfect time for you to rise above everything that has happened and to extend yourself, armed with forgiveness and love. Then you can be bound together heart-to-heart and with sisters, there is nothing better than that. I have two myself and I don;t know what I would do without them. Nope, they are not perfect, but they are mine and I love them.
(((hugs to you)))
Karin
Farmgirl Sister
# 18 :)
Wherever you go, there you are.
www.madrekarin.blogspot.com
www.madrekarin.etsy.com |
| Sarahpauline |
Posted - Jun 11 2008 : 11:15:14 PM
It doesnt sound mean, it sounds like you suffered a lot of hurt feelings at the hands of your sister. But even though it is hard, the best therapy is to remind yourself that what people say to you and how they choose to say it reflects on them as a person and not you. In other words, your sister must have her own demons to have treated you so unkindly. I suggest as hard as it may be, to try to think of her with compassion as you remind yourself that her words were untrue and undeserved.
(((hugs)))
Not all those who wander are lost... |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Jun 11 2008 : 7:37:46 PM
Thanks Jo. I hope my post doesn't sound mean spirited but it was a form of torture everyday for years and trying to live in her "perfect" light has been tough for me. I want to lift others up, no matter what they look like and I know deep down, this is where my desire comes from.
I did notice that each email she sent she prefaced with "the fat one is me" or "check out my big backside" so I think that guilt is there but I know I will never hear an apology but I am ok with that because I forgive myself.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
| Hideaway Farmgirl |
Posted - Jun 11 2008 : 7:29:03 PM
Heather, I am glad for your sake that you "felt the pain and torture of all those years fall away". That seems to me, to be the most powerful statement in your posting.
I am sorry your sister loaded you down with all that unnecessary baggage way back then. I am happy that you are able to realize what a great person YOU are now, and probably always have been. Better late than never, I guess.
Isn't it amazing that other people can work so hard to drag us down, and then we find out they aren't so perfect either? Sad, because we have wasted so much negative energy and worry along the way.
Enjoy your life, and be proud of what you are and who you are; no matter what!
Jo
"Wish I had time to work with herbs all day!" |
| melanie47601 |
Posted - Jun 11 2008 : 7:27:20 PM
I just had kind of a similar experience this past weekend. One of the gals I grew up with and hung out with was always so thin, a regular beanpole. Then after school she had an "upper enhacement surgery" done. She couldn't help but rub it in, acting all hot to trot.
She told me she was packing on some weight last time we spoke on the phone. I guess I just didn't believe her. Weight had never been an issue for her, like it had for me and couple of our other friends. But when I saw her this past weekend at Wally World, I just about didn't recognize her.
I feel bad thinking it but it feels kinda nice to know she has to eat crow.
~Melanie
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart." Helen Keller
http://wheelsarealwaysturning.blogspot.com/ |
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