| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Alee |
Posted - Feb 08 2008 : 09:59:47 AM
Miss Wilma had a great idea over on the "Let's Have Fun" thread to chat about manners.
Remember when you were little and you parents would say "Your fork isn't a shovel" and things like that?
Do you feel like you have "Miss Manners" style manners? Do you break out in a sweat if there is more than one fork at a place setting? Did you sympathize with the "Vivian" character in "Pretty Woman" when she was learning which fork to use?
I think my parents taught me good manners. They always has us say "please" and "thank you". We were taught to repect our elders, not to interupt, and other such manners.
However, I think it would be fun to go to one of those classes where they teach you etiquette and manners during a nice luncheon. I always thought it would be interesting to attend a "finishing" school.
I really don't want to see proper manners die out as I think they are a big component to social oil that keeps the civilization machine running, so to speak. What are your thoughts?
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
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| CabinCreek-Kentucky |
Posted - Feb 08 2008 : 4:22:54 PM
oh alee . i haven't thought about this for years .. FINISHING SCHOOL .. many moons ago when i was climbing slowly but surely up the wrung toward a career with "Uncle Sam" in D.C. ... i worked on 'capitol hill' .. as did my incredibly beautiful cousin Margaret (actually, she was the 'belle of capitol hill' in her 'prime'!) She wanted me to learn 'social graces' and arranged for me to attend: Mrs. Gladstone's Finishing and Modelling Academy in Washington, D.C. (ha! what a mouthfull!) This was during the Lyndon Johnson era .. and his two daughters had been in the class just before me. WHAT A HOOT! We had to wear GIRDLES, WHITE GLOVES and HATS to every class (as i remember .. it was about a six-month course). We learned how to properly address 'dignitaries' from this and foreign countries. We learned how to write a formal invitation. And among many other 'social graces' (including sitting, standing, walking, making an 'entrance' at a ball .. and 'classic clothing combinations' .. we learned to walk like the New York City ROCKETTES .. won't even tell on here what we had to do to have 'perfect posture'!!
oh ... o.k.! you jus' know i'm gonna' tell .. .we had to practice with a silver dollar t'wixt and t'ween our "cheeks" .. and HIGH STEP .. without having it drop to the ground! (of course, we weren't about to lose our money with those girdles on .. but we had to practice this little 'exercise' at home sans underoos!) I still can't see a SILVER DOLLAR without giggling!
HA! i guess there are 'probably' some who would consider the 'telling of THAT 'tail' .. (pun intended) to not be very 'mannerly' .. but i honestly believe that if we act our lives in 'kindness' .. manners automatically comes along.
we even learned how to 'set a formal table' for the President and First Lady! ha! that lesson when in and outta' my head real quick!
i learned something else about what some consider 'manners' by observing an event a hand-full of years ago. i knew a man who was gruff and made himself not very likeable .. especially to children .. but INSISTED on their 'respect and manners' as he put it .. by always addressing him a Yes Sir and No Sir. And while i believe the concept of children speaking to their elders with SIR and MA'AM .. NOT ONE OF THEM RESPECTED HIM .. i thought about that and it just re-affirmed for me that RESPECT is 'earned' .. and not gotten by fear or threats. These children simply avoided conversations with him at all. What a loss for both of them .. had he just respected them too.
I know lots of adults prefer that children call them Mr. Mrs. or Miss .. i have always ADORED children calling me FRANNIE or Aunt Frannie (even though they might not be related to me). I have indeed respected their parents wishes and if they called me Miss Frannie .. i saw it as a term of endearment.
what a fun topic!
True Friends * Frannie
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| Alee |
Posted - Feb 08 2008 : 4:14:34 PM
Miss Wilma! Of Course you can post anytime! :D
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
Please come visit Nora and I our our new blog:
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com |
| BarefootGoatGirl |
Posted - Feb 08 2008 : 4:11:22 PM
I was raised with good "country" manners. That means you put your napkin in your lap, say please and thankyou, eat what your served, kick off your shoes before you go inside,and all that but it's still ok to pop your head in the door and holler "anybody home?"
What we write today slipped into our souls some other day when we were alone and doing nothing.
-Brenda Ueland
http://quilandneedle.blogspot.com/ |
| lilyblossom |
Posted - Feb 08 2008 : 4:10:17 PM
Miss Wilma you made me giggle at the dining table!!
Both of my children have been raised to say "please", "thank you" and all of those other southern manners. All of their teachers at school and others have commented how nice it is to hear a child using those words. It makes my heart just swell with joy to hear them using those phrases. Now if I could only convince them that using proper table manners is in their best interests, along with a smile on their faces and a pleasant hello when they greet others.
Donna....transplanted southerner, farmgirl #86
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| miss wilma |
Posted - Feb 08 2008 : 3:01:32 PM
Alee can I please do my manners post a little later, after a two hour phone call and an aching ear my manners are kinda lacking right now, but I promise to act better a little later, Please
Farm Girl #96
http://www.picturetrail.com/misswilmasplace
http://misswilma.blogspot.com/ |
| CountryBorn |
Posted - Feb 08 2008 : 1:56:23 PM
I really like good manners. I don't really care if they are eloquent, but I am most definitely in favor of please and thank you. Excuse me and pardon me. Having kids learn to sit and behave at dinners out in a resturant or at someones home. I remind my grandkids of manners all the time. It tickles me when I see my grandson open doors for people and help out when someone drops something or needs help. I really think it is a sorry state of affairs that manners are darn near obselete in a lot of homes now. It shows in every day living just about everywhere you go. I totally agree with Alee I think that manners are very important to civilization. Because they aren't taught much anymore it really shows in everyday living doesn't it? and on the other hand, how good it makes you feel when people are polite and smiling it just makes me feel happy inside.
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
| levisgrammy |
Posted - Feb 08 2008 : 1:11:44 PM
Oh we definitely stressed manners with our children. We have one son and he is the most gentleman-like. Opens doors for women. Stands by his chair till the women are seated and stands when a woman enters the room. (that one is usually only when we are out as we have more women than men here and he would be feeling like he's doing jumping jacks) 
My husband is more mindful of manners now then when we first married. Opens my car door and that sort of thing.
I believe manners are definitely important.
farmgirl sister #43
Kind hearts are gardens
Kind thoughts are roots
Kind words are blossoms
Kind deeds are Fruits
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| Aunt Jenny |
Posted - Feb 08 2008 : 12:13:01 PM
I am pretty strict with my own kids about manners. My grandma (who was like a mom to me for sure) raised us with manners. I have my death stare going good and all the kids know it. My husband isn't always tons of help with this. He is getting bettter, but my oh my. We would have been made to leave the table if we had manners like he has sometimes.
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
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| EllynAnne |
Posted - Feb 08 2008 : 11:57:14 AM
Alee, your musing on manners as the social lubricant of civilization is an observation that I share. Sadly, mannerly behavior isn't the only civility in jeopardy of going the way of the dinosaur. Chit chat, patience, listening and writing letters are also dying art forms.
Perhaps what I'm really lamenting is the devaluation of personal communication and the niceties that once went along with that.
EllynAnne
Tie One On...an apron, of course!
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| junkjunkie |
Posted - Feb 08 2008 : 11:45:34 AM
I was always taught manners...sometimes I say 'thank you' too much. :)I had to say 'thank you' whether vocally or in a thank you note as a kid. My mother sometimes had to nag us to write the notes, and the recipient may get it later than sooner. We were told to keep elbows off the table, chew with your mouth closed and don't speak with your mouth full. It's bugs me when manners are going by the wayside, especially with younger people. I don't think a lot of parents teach basic manners anymore. Alee, I have to agree when a little tot says 'peas' and 'tenku' and how adorable that is. Very sweet! Now, when I'm at home alone and I don't have to impress anyone, the manners are out the window...lol.
"To have life in focus, we must have death in our field of vision." Benedictine monk John Main |
| KYgurlsrbest |
Posted - Feb 08 2008 : 11:23:37 AM
I guess I'm a bit of a Miss Manners, but only because I had to be....My father was very strict, and my manners are probably circa 1940--thank you notes for birthday,Christmas gifts, lunch and dinner dates, etc...and I was eating with flatware before most babies.
My "worldly" manners came in at Interlochen--it's kindof a drop off for diplomats kids, very wealthy aristocratic kids, and regular kids like me....and the school is so small that you mix with all different types of people, and some of the guys I dated were rather....elite. And my best friend was a Debutante, and I was her "guest" at her Debutante Ball--had to get a ball gown, elbow length gloves and everything. So, dating a diplomat's son, I had to learn a LOT about flatware and stemware, and napkins and when to eat and when not to eat (after the host sits and puts his napkin on his thigh-not lap, and to cut my meat "continentally" and about which beverage came at which time of the meal (i.e., it's not appropriate to drink beer with dinner, but it is completely alright to have a glass of port in place of dessert) So, my manners are a little stuffy when necessary, but I haven't had dinner with a diplomatic family since 2000, and Justin and I eat at the coffee table....so....there you go :)
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Feb 08 2008 : 11:02:39 AM
I was raised with the basic manners to get me by in life but the death "stare" from my mom kept me straightened out!!! : )
Right now, Charlie is saying "...Peas Mama..." I love it!!! Hubby is teaching him to lift his hat and say "Nice to meet you Ma'am. " when we introduce a female friend. So darn cute to see him tip his hat!!!
Cheers,
Heather
FARMGIRL #90 |
| joyfulmama |
Posted - Feb 08 2008 : 10:22:54 AM
I taught my 7 yr old and 4 yr old to say please in sign language before they could say it. I am teaching it to Andrew now.
Blessings, Debra
Psalms 23:1 "The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want."
http://myvintagehome.blogspot.com
http://woolieacres.net |
| Alee |
Posted - Feb 08 2008 : 10:09:09 AM
I just love the babies when they learn to say "Please"...it usually comes out as "Peas!" and then morphs to "pweas!"
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
Please come visit Nora and I our our new blog:
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com |
| joyfulmama |
Posted - Feb 08 2008 : 10:01:45 AM
I was having a hard time sleeping last night and thought about my boys and manners. I need to devote a few moments a day on manners with my little men. Opening the door for a lady, offering to carry the groceries, how to properly introduce themselves etc...
Blessings, Debra
Psalms 23:1 "The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want."
http://myvintagehome.blogspot.com
http://woolieacres.net |
