| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Feb 06 2008 : 12:53:44 PM
Ok,,confession time...or more of a come, sit down and get a cup o' coffee time...
As you well know, I have been through a lot over the past year or 2. I must tell you, I have been suffering with a mild case of post partum and a mild case of just the blah's- I couldn't seem to get my head in the right place. I felt like I was just walking through life, but not living life.
Three months ago, I was out driving. I had just dropped off my son at daycare and was headed to Starbucks for some coffee. It was slightly rainy and my Jeep has been having problems with shifting, the back wheel would "catch" if I tried to take off fast. I was all alone on a quiet street (20 MPH or less) and I took off, trying to make a right hand turn. Well, the back wheel spun and cranked my jeep so far to the right that I ended up and over the curb, sideways. Almost like I slid. It happened so quick and I actually had a panic attack because it happened so quick and I couldn't believe it happened. I somehow in my thinking quickly pulled off the curb and over to the side of the road and just sat there.
After about 5 minutes and a lot of fresh air, I just started bawling, hard and loud,,sobbing, and then suddenly I realized, for no other reason than I think it was subconsciously I was trying to regain some reality, all I could think about was what I was wearing. If I had died, would I want to be found wearing my dirty black house pants and holey Pat Green t-shirt with my broke down flip flops?? Now, call it an AHA moment or whatever, but for some reason my perspective on living changed right there. What was important to me and why? Was I truly putting my true self out there or was I hiding, afraid??
I started thinking about what if I died today and people had to guess about who I was based on how I dressed, my home and its decore and the memories I have made with them? Was it the impression I wanted to leave them with?? I got a BIG NO in my head and from that day on, I have been truly living my life.
I will dress as I please now, not being afraid to try new things and wear what I only fantasized about in the catalogs. I re-decorated the whole house and started spending more quality time with the DH an DS. College is important but being perfect in grades is not- I will graduate, whether with A's or C's,and I now spend that time i used to worrying about grades making memories. I smile more, feel it is my job to cheer people up now, no more down, no more blah, no more boring. I smooch DH all the time (DS too) and I joke around a lot more and I don't take too many things too personally anymore. I let grumpy, judgemental people be and act as cheerfully sickening to them as I can. I blabber on and on and on and on about how great my life is, how wonderful DH is, how smart DS and the wonderful food and place I get to go see and eat, Last week, DS and I went out after if rained and jumped in puddles and I got covered in mud and it was the best time of my life. We went to the beach and we dug, dug ,dug in the sand and I am still pulling sand out of my ears from when DS tried to bury me, but I am so happy each time I find that sand!! YIPEE I AM ALIVE and I LOVE IT!!!! I even pinched DH's tushy in Wal-mart the other day and giggled  and told him,,,he better get ready...I love him, and I love life!!!
I used to be so routine, so adamant that things had to be done my way or a certain way. I was over anal about having a clean clean house when it is in the mess that the memories are made. I stopped being mad at DH over now stupid things and realized my grouchiness was just rubbing off on him. I lived in a beige world, trying to "wait" until that perfect time to do this or that and that time is NOW!!!
I know my little incident wouldn't seem life changing to most, but it really freaked my out and gosh, I get what people are talking about living life...and it is wonderful!!!
So here is to living your life, fully, truly, with honesty and a whole heck of a lot of fun.
Now go dance naked and give a hug to the next person you see...
Cheers,
Heather
FARMGIRL #90 |
| 16 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Feb 06 2008 : 9:40:32 PM
My wall is well literally a WHOLE wall of inspiration. Someday, when I have my own house, I would like to stencil sayings around the house and do more as far as being more creative. I think it is so important to my soul...
And Sherry, I was thinking the same thing....LOL !!!! Aren't we a fun group of farm gals or what!!!! We rule!!
Cheers,
Heather
FARMGIRL #90 |
| abbasgurl |
Posted - Feb 06 2008 : 7:46:41 PM
Life is good Heather! Wonderful post!
And Frannie...well...
Rhonda
I will sing at the top of my lungs, and I will dance even if I'm the only one...
http://www.kattywhompus.etsy.com |
| Love-in-a-Mist |
Posted - Feb 06 2008 : 7:31:16 PM
I love your idea of an inspiration wall. I have been about 20 lbs. over weight since I had my son 6 years ago. Those stinking pounds have been holding me back and dragging me down this whole time. It's SO ANNOYING! I wish I could just get it over it and live like I used too, no matter what I look like.
Your story has been very encouraging, Thank you
http://diaryofafarmerswife.blogspot.com/ |
| Alee |
Posted - Feb 06 2008 : 6:54:10 PM
Frannie! That reminds me of "Fried Green Tomatoes!!"
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
Please come visit Nora and I our our new blog:
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com |
| chicken necker |
Posted - Feb 06 2008 : 6:45:39 PM
Good Gracious, Frannie! You are hysterical! And after seeing your picture on the one thread, I am having a real hard time not visualizing that!
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. ~anon |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Feb 06 2008 : 5:32:40 PM
OH Frannie- Now that is what I am talking about!!!!
I might just get the Saran Wrap out--DH is on his way home!!! HEHEHEHEHE!!!!
Cheers,
Heather
FARMGIRL #90 |
| CabinCreek-Kentucky |
Posted - Feb 06 2008 : 4:12:34 PM
oh heather darlin' .. i jus' took all my clothes off ..turned the music up ... and am heading downstairs to honey-hunk!
(now he will either think i have gone crazy .. or will laugh and remember the time he came home from work and i greeted him at the door dressed only in SARAN-WRAP! yep! i did that .. and he loved it ..
however, i might need to use DUCT TAPE this time .. to hold my boobs up!
FOLLOW YOUR BLISS DARLIN' .. FOLLOW YOUR BLISS! xo, frannie
True Friends * Frannie
HEAR MY STORIES
come, visit my:
"GATHERING ROOM" ..
http://freedomvalleyfarm.blogspot.com
adopt a 'rag-chile'
http://sistermercysfoundlinhome.blogspot.com
treasures .. new and olde .. up for adoption:
http://mudpiemanormercantile.blogspot.com
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| Alee |
Posted - Feb 06 2008 : 3:19:01 PM
Heather- I am so glad that you found your ah-hah! Moment that you needed! I think the universe gives us those at just the right moments when we are really ready to see a change and implement it. It sounds like your life is headed for the stars! How wonderful! *cyber hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
Please come visit Nora and I our our new blog:
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Feb 06 2008 : 3:07:55 PM
Sherri, I wish you all the best. I just finally got out of my funk. Part of my MAJOR problem has been mostly my family telling me how wrong I am for living the life I do. I love my family, first and foremost, but I also love my career and I want it all- money, prestige, hard work paying off for others, the interactions, the cocktail parties, nice things (my idea of it anywho ), EVERYTHING!!! I am going to be a career woman and in turn, I will be able to provide for my family and friends. I want the good life...and I am not apologizing or changing my lifestyle for them.
I believe in positive energy, that what goes around comes around and I can actually correlate my depressive times with when I was in contact with my family. Sad but true.
I have been condemned for wanting it all, as far as how that applies to me. But, I have learned, especially after my little eye opening skid, that is is my life and I deserve to be happy and I was not living my life to its fullest potential.
I am far from someone who worships money or a certain lifestyle, but I just want more and I am happy with that choice.
I keep a inspirational wall with sayings, ideas, clothing I love, colors I love, people who inspire me, quotes, places I want to visit, pics of family, areas of my life that need work- all to keep the positive light on these things and what I wish for. I just added a picture of a police officer, because that is what DH wants to do when he gets out of the Navy. I even added the date DH gets discharged.
I wish you all best.
Cheers,
Heather
FARMGIRL #90 |
| mikesgirl |
Posted - Feb 06 2008 : 2:55:16 PM
thanks Heather - that was really inspirational. I have sort of been thinking along the same lines and that's why I"ve investigated the Secret and I'm trying to understand it. Sometimes I think it's as easy as positive thinking, but I have a real hard time honestly "believing" something that I know is currently not true. I hope I can follow the same journey you have been able to.
Farmgirl Sister #98
Check out my new online store
http://www.shopthefrontier.com/VFstore/index.php?manufacturers_id=79&osCsid=6be4b25bf9555031c6e2e86bbde23dba |
| Linder |
Posted - Feb 06 2008 : 1:28:08 PM
What a lovely story Heather and a beautiful reminder that we should be living as beautifully as we can EVERY day.
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk to blossom |
| bohemiangel |
Posted - Feb 06 2008 : 1:22:04 PM
It's hard when you are in one of those moods. I know how it is, I struggle with depression and anxiety and life is rough, but I always think I'd rather have those than some disease. I count my blessings. Live your life honey!!! Don't wait for something to happen. Don't worry about what others will think, make yourself happy:) xoxo
**~~Farmgirl Sister #60~~**
"... to thine ownself be true."
http://liggygirl.blogspot.com/
http://liggygirlslonggreen.blogspot.com/
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| catscharm74 |
Posted - Feb 06 2008 : 1:19:45 PM
I truly realized I was really a downer kinda of person and I truly believe that is why downer kinda living was following me around. One of my things will get better when moments is how my weight is affecting my living. Supermodel skinny ain't for me, but a healthier weight, yes, because I was so afraid "Oh, would I fit in that seat? Can I bend over to play with my son? Only thin women wear things like this or that?....etc... and then I realized, I was isolating myself with my weight. Not to say it ain't hard work to get even a pound off, but I am living life as I do it and as I am right now.
I look for happiness and have been praying, surrounding myself, my life, my family, etc...in good happiness and I honestly have such a light feeling in my soul...
Cheers,
Heather
FARMGIRL #90 |
| lisamarie508 |
Posted - Feb 06 2008 : 1:15:54 PM
Heather, I'm so incredibly happy for you. What a wonderful story; what a wonderful turn-around. Good for you!
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog: http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My Website:
http://www.freewebs.com/lisamariesbasketry/index.htm |
| bohemiangel |
Posted - Feb 06 2008 : 1:09:43 PM
:) glad you had that moment. Sometimes that's what it takes. :)
**~~Farmgirl Sister #60~~**
"... to thine ownself be true."
http://liggygirl.blogspot.com/
http://liggygirlslonggreen.blogspot.com/
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| myfairlady636 |
Posted - Feb 06 2008 : 1:04:55 PM
Life is wonderful! I love those a-ha moments that really help us to get our lives in the direction we really want to be! I am glad for you to have such great experience from something that could have been so devestating! Yay for you and for your family. I believe that old saying "If Mamma aint happy- aint NOBODY happy!"
My Fair Lady Farm Girl Sister # 92
"Our lives have meaning, purpose and direction"
http://millberrycottage.blogspot.com/
http://myfairlady636.etsy.com |
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