| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Whimsy_girl |
Posted - Aug 02 2005 : 10:06:30 PM
I was talking to my mom the other day and just had to laugh because she is deathly afraid of sharks. The reason I find this funny is that we live in Spokane... it's not like one is going to just sproing up out of our aquifer and bite her through the tap or something.. My husband hates flying, heights, and tornados.. so he was pretty freaked when our roof blew off a month or so ago... and then as far as weird phobias go, I'm only afraid of spiders, but I get scared if not hourly than at least daily out here, because they are EVERYWHERE!!!! I almost walked through a web the other day and nearly pee'd my pants...(((no one better think it's funny to send me mail art with plastic spiders in it now!!!)))
What totally freaks you out?
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. James Stewart in the movie HARVEY |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| CityCat |
Posted - Aug 21 2005 : 1:38:39 PM
I'm not normally afraid of spiders, but here is a story. Some years back I was field collecting. I had to tromp into an area carrying a bunch of gear to a site about a hundred feet from the nearest road. I was carrying all my stuff and was about 20 feet from the car, and I had just started to get into the brushy undergrowth stuff when I walked through a huge spiderweb, about 3 feet wide. My hands were full, and I couldn't really brush the web away, and I was thinking, "Gosh, that was a big spiderweb... I wonder where the spider is..." Then I looked down at an arm. I think it was my left. It was there, hanging out, probably wondering where its beautiful web just went. I went berserk, flinging all my equipment in every direction, and bolted for the road. When I made it back to my car I was finally able to calm down. The spider was then long gone, as was all my collecting equipment. I then spent an agonizing hour trying to recollect everything from the dense underbrush and was able to find almost everything. For the most part, I love observing spiders and try never to kill any, but if anything (spider, bug, person) approaches me without my first seeing it, I will always jump and flail.
Cat |
| Whimsy_girl |
Posted - Aug 21 2005 : 1:10:37 PM
Paula, when your kids are older are they going to look back and say "my mom didn't get me the latest power ranger" Or are they going to look back and say "My mom loved us so much she made sure our needs were met even in the hardest times" There will probably be moments when they try to play the two families against eachother, lord knows my brother and I tried that when we thought we could get what we wanted, but as we grew up, we realized how hard our mom worked to make sure we were alright. She made sure to teach us a lot about character. We learned what kind of a person has it and what kind doesn't. Our mom tought us morals and to be smart about what people are out to take advantage and what ones are genuine. She never had to tell us this but now, looking back and knowing him today our dad hasn't got a lick of character. He is a user, and always out for himself and what others can do for him.
Just raise them to be smart about people, and raise them to be good solid individuals, and even if times get hard while they are too young to know better, remember that if you give them the right foundation, they will know whats what when they get older and love you more for it.
There is no one in the world I respect more than my mother. She was firm and I never got to go party until I lived on my own, she didn't apporove of any of the boys I dated, she forced us to listen to Dr Laura in the car instead of the radio.. god we hated that.. and thanks to her I married my husband who is exactly what she wanted for me, the exact opposite of my Dad.
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. |
| MeadowLark |
Posted - Aug 21 2005 : 12:53:12 PM
Paula, You have THE greatest power on earth on your side...YOU gave those children LIFE...nothing on earth can ever change that! And LOVE... you are strong and invincible woman!!!
Being is what it is. Jean Paul Sartre |
| Whimsy_girl |
Posted - Aug 21 2005 : 12:17:36 PM
Wow this tread really took off.. guess what I ran into yesterday?
A couple of these http://hobospider.org/ These are responsable for my fear of spiders in the first place and I moved right into their natural habatat! When I was a kid my mother owned the house across the street from the house we just bought. The house was so full of these things that my mom ran around with a flyswatter in her beltloop..They have a bite that can put you in the hospital and the way she would go white and scream every time she saw one must have traumatized me enough as a kid to do the same thing as an adult.
20 years ago this place was a lot less developed so silly me I thought that now there were a few more lawns and a few less fields thise buggers would have moved on.. Nope!!! they usually start snooping around in the fall and I saw 2 in the last 12 hours and it's only august :(
I'm not as bad with the naturally occuring outside spiders.. while they give me the shivers and the thought of walking through a web makes me feel ill, I don't wish them all to be gone I know they have a purpose and they are facinating in their own nasty little way.
They don't invoke the fight or flight response that these awful creatures, that should never even exist on gods green earth do.
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. |
| Clare |
Posted - Aug 21 2005 : 11:44:50 AM
Paula dear, that inner voice whispering all those ugly things in your ear is a detriment to your health (and sanity). Tell it to go take a hike! Your kids love you unconditionally and you will never loose them, wherever they may be. Bonding that takes place in motherhood (or fatherhood, for that matter), is never undone if one keeps on being a good caring person. REFUSE to give your ex and company any power over your thoughts from this moment forward. You have a flotilla of powerful, unafraid farmgirls who are walking right along side you. Remember this.
As far as my fears, y'll mentioning bridges brought back one of mine. I have to drive across a bridge daily. I'm okay as long as I don't have to stop on the bridge for traffic delays. I can feel every motion and movement of its' infrastructure and it gives me the willies... that along with the fear of deep water... and I'm a mess by the time the traffic starts up again. 
**** Love is the great work - though every heart is first an apprentice. - Hafiz
Set a high value on spontaneous kindness. - Samuel Johnson****
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| TheSoapMaven |
Posted - Aug 21 2005 : 11:16:48 AM
This is a great thread. I am so touched by the posts and your willingness to share. I have a little plaque that says "You cant scare me, I have six kids!". Pretty much the truth. I do fear the government to an extent. I fear the draft coming back. I fear we will always be at war now.
I am not actually afraid of rodents (rats, mice) but I hate them. HATE. Snakes, have owned one. Spiders, I have a tarantula so in general not afraid but am afraid of black widows. I have found so many in our little barn and the man that built this house was bit once and nearly died. Bugs...they all serve a purpose I know. For those who hate/fear wasps...they are the only natural enemy of the black widow, there's a good point. HATE fire ants, cant see why they are here.
I am not a worrier. My poor mom is and I feel so sorry for her sometimes because she just cant seem to NOT worry. So I kinda made up my mind not to what if my way thru life. I challenge the things I can, and the things I cant change I try not to worry too much about.
I am afraid of heights. I had to get on the roof to help my beloved re-roof our house. He didnt realize how afraid I was until I broke down in tears trying to make myself climb back down when we quit for the first day. And we live in a single story house! Having said that, I did go 25 ft up a ladder to save my cat Seamus. He had been bitten by a poisonous snake and I suppose he was just delirious and got as far as he could away from the snake. There was no one else to go get him and I knew he would die if I didnt. So there I went. I don't know if I cried more over his injury (he's fine now...bit him directly in the eyeball but he didnt lose it, though he is not able to see very well out of it) or over having to go up the ladder.
Susan
Proprietress of Dahlem's Soapworks http://www.thesoapmaven.com
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| PJJ |
Posted - Aug 21 2005 : 09:44:35 AM
That my newly ex-husband and his "new love" will take my children away from me.
That I won't have the resources to raise my children as I would like.
Financial issues.
That the "new love" will convince my children they love them more and the kids should live with them.
Gee, I'm a mess! :)
pj
[/size=1]Paula J., with Ty, Cara, Brody, Blue, and Fidget |
| showmemom |
Posted - Aug 20 2005 : 10:32:48 AM
my main fear is that i'll become incapacitated somehow and will be really dependent on others. don't get me wrong, i have a great husband and kids that would take care of me but to be in that situation is just the worst possible scenario for me.
i worry that the disease i live with (lupus) will attack my brain and i won't know my family or have some kind of psychotic episode and then they'll take my nursing license away and i'll be penniless and homeless...see how this stuff grows by leaps and bounds!!
talk to you later-
karen
Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
Victor Hugo |
| lamamama |
Posted - Aug 20 2005 : 09:55:18 AM
Lucinda, your story brought tears to my eyes, too........ Thank you for sharing that. What a blessing you are, & will be to each other. I wish you all the best.
My little phobia relates to dying too early to see my children grow up. I had my kids late in life (my 40s), & am also a single Mom. So I worry that I won't be around to take care of them, & see them grow up - to see what kind of men they will turn out to be. It has turned me into a hypochondriac - something I never was before. And being a Nurse, I can certainly imagine the worst possible diagnosis, with any little symptom. :)
Melanie |
| verbina |
Posted - Aug 20 2005 : 09:28:02 AM
the goverment,i agree with lynn. ghosts are ok but i dont want to see them in the dark |
| Nicole |
Posted - Aug 19 2005 : 6:55:01 PM
GHOSTS! Can't even hear other's ghost stories or come near scary movies...
My mom thought our farm house was haunted when I was young..
Now I see the secret of making the best person: it is to grow in the open air, to eat and sleep with the earth - Walt Whitman |
| greyghost |
Posted - Aug 19 2005 : 5:53:14 PM
I'm afraid the government.
*crap, now they're spying on me! Oh wait, they have been for years.*
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| CityCat |
Posted - Aug 19 2005 : 5:12:23 PM
Not all bees and wasps are bees and wasps. There are some insects out there who use the fact that wasps and bees aren't nice to protect themselves. That bee or wasp you're so afraid of may not have a stinger at all! Please see this website for examples: http://bugguide.net/node/view/196/bgpage
I'm sadly afraid of balloons. Yup. I can't be near anyone playing with a balloon. Balloon dump at a dance or something, I've gotta leave. Break a balloon with a dart to win a prize, can't do it. Making balloon animals is okay though. Watching people blow up a balloon and then manhandle it to tie the knot, painfully creepy-crawlie sensations start.
Cat |
| Whimsy_girl |
Posted - Aug 08 2005 : 1:45:42 PM
wasps DO look scary! One was chasing my 1 year old around the back porch yesterday evening and I made everyone come in the house. LOL
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. |
| Traveler_and_Poet |
Posted - Aug 08 2005 : 12:51:38 PM
1.) Wasps and bees (bees not so much, they are sort of cute, but wasps just LOOK evil)
2.) Deep water at night (even a public pool creeps me out at night!)
3.) Identity Theft and cyberstalking (there are so many scary stories these days!)
Traveler_and_Poet's Blog
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| quiltedess |
Posted - Aug 08 2005 : 08:39:34 AM
I'm afraid of deep, especially dark, water. There are "things" in there! I don't even like to LOOK into the water. I'm afraid for my kids, they have mental illness (bi-polar and schizophrenia), they were adopted, life is really hard for them. Most of all, I'm afraid of hurting someone or something, either because of my stupidity, inattention or even accident. Sometimes the thought of that makes me afraid to walk out the door so I don't dwell on it. OK, now I'm off to start my day and . . . to get my mind off of things I'm afraid of. :-)
Nancy |
| Luzy |
Posted - Aug 08 2005 : 08:07:51 AM
Hi Lucinda, Thank you for your kind thoughts and good points. You're right, I'm trying to be pro active in my health care as well as being my own advocate. Sometimes Doctors just don't listen!! I appreciate you're response.
And Robin, I'm so sorry you too lost your mother. She too was so young. Have you ever read the book 'Motherless Daughters"? It's an anthologhy of stories like ours and it really helped me to no I wasn't alone. I just wonder how many other farmgirls have experienced this profound loss in their lives? Luzy |
| hapyhrt |
Posted - Aug 08 2005 : 04:23:11 AM
My biggest fear is loss of control which accounts for the panic disorder that I live with everyday. Also, social phobia and on a lighter note I'm afraid of bats, snakes and rodents, ewww!!!
"Think HAPPY Thoughts...any others aren't worth your time!" Ü |
| ThymeForEweFarm |
Posted - Aug 04 2005 : 3:52:40 PM
Luzy, I worry too. My mom died of colon cancer at 56. I am 41. I think about it enough to need to clear my mind. I had pre-op this afternoon. My first colonoscopy is August 12, 8:30 a.m. Mum didn't know until it was too late. I'm not taking that chance.
Robin
Thyme For Ewe Farm
www.thymeforewe.com |
| thehouseminder |
Posted - Aug 04 2005 : 3:21:50 PM
Hello again Kim!
Just remember some people are your family because you are born to them (or they to you) and others are your family because you choose them or they choose you. What a nice kind of family to have!
Luzy, 29 is awfully young to lose your mom. I'm sure you miss her very much and perhaps that is part of your fear. Here are some things to consider: 1) chances are, from the day you were born, you have received better health and wellness care than she did, and you probably still will in the future. 2) you have the information available to you today, which may not have been available when she was young, to better take good care of yourself.
Every woman on this forum is a daughter. Some of us are sisters and/or mothers. I enjoy having you all as family.
Live life well and deeply!
Lucinda
Who loves a garden still his Eden keeps, Perennial pleasures plants, and wholesome harvest reaps. ---Bronson Alcott
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| Luzy |
Posted - Aug 04 2005 : 2:44:13 PM
I can't believe I'm writing this but my biggest fear is dying at the age my Mom died...57. I just turned 50 this year. I don't know why I feel this way, she died 21 years ago. Lu |
| Kim |
Posted - Aug 04 2005 : 2:09:55 PM
Thanks girls for making me feel better! Lucinda, My best bud has PCOS and 3 years ago she got pregnant right and delivered Danica right after her 40th birthday!
I hope to find a Intentional Community someday where I can spend the rest of my time if nothing magical comes my way!
farmgirl@heart
Be at peace with yourself and the rest will follow |
| Whimsy_girl |
Posted - Aug 04 2005 : 1:32:15 PM
I'm working on it too but you just gave me goosebumps!
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. James Stewart in the movie HARVEY |
| ThymeForEweFarm |
Posted - Aug 04 2005 : 04:14:30 AM
Extreme heights. I didn't used to be able to go to the top of a 6' ladder. I'm working on it. Eventually I'd like to skydive.
I've been tackling my fears for about five years. My biggest one is spiders. Especially those huge barn spiders. And wharf spiders. "Spiders are our friends. Spiders are our friends. Spiders are our friends." Fine - but I don't want my friends living with me. I don't scream anymore and I don't kill the little ones. Spiders eat bad bugs. They aren't poisonous here. I'm working on this. I'm beginning to be ok with them. But! The big, creepy, million legged, beady eyed, fat bodied, disgusting ones are vacuum cleaner bait while I shiver and squirm. Ugh! <squirming>
Robin
Thyme For Ewe Farm
www.thymeforewe.com |
| BuckBellHill |
Posted - Aug 03 2005 : 8:13:46 PM
Kim: I'm so glad you had the courage to mention your fear of dying alone. I thought I was a bit alone in that one...I don't mind living alone, but thinking of the "end" alone is a bit overwhelming. I'm not married and don't have children either. I had this strange experience when I was living in South Africa that really led to buying my farm. I ruptured a disc in my neck and had to have major surgery there. I felt so alone in that hospital bed in a foreign country and just imagined dying there alone. To counter that, I'm really working on building a close community of friends and it does help to know that great friends will not let me die alone, but it is taking real commitment to choosing lovely people to surround myself with, and the result is that I'm not as afraid of it anymore. Of course a great partner may come alone, but i'm working on creating a safe environment in which to grow old. Thanks for mentioning the topic!
Fern at Buck Bell Hill |
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