| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Luzy |
Posted - Aug 01 2005 : 09:29:34 AM
Hi Everyone! I was wondering if anyone has a funny experience to tell.
I'm such a klutz, I have many! Here's the most recent one: My husband and I went to Burger King for lunch. As we were waiting for our turn in line to get our self serve drinks, we noticed the ice machine was making a really wierd sound. I was grunting and snorting!! I told my husband" Gee, it sounds like there's a bunch of PIGS in here. My husband motioned with his eyes to look directly behind me. There stood two police officers grinning at me. I wanted to crawl under the table!! What's that saying??....a closed foot gathers no foot!! Luzy |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Horseyrider |
Posted - Sep 23 2005 : 3:55:54 PM
Oh my, you guys have me laughing! But I can really identify. I have a hard time juxtaposing words, letters, and numbers. It comes and goes; sometimes I'll go a really long time without doing it, and then it seems to happen relentlessly.
Once I was talking with someone, and wanted to ask a rather forward question. What I meant to say was "Since I'm often rude and nosy...." But what came out was "Since I'm often nude and rosy...."
I heard it come out of my mouth, and it wasn't what I meant to send! I thought I would die of embarrassment; the person I was talking to was laughing so hard I couldn't get away fast enough. I tried to just sink into the cracks in the floor. *sigh* |
| LisaBee |
Posted - Sep 22 2005 : 10:47:09 PM
I was so embarrassed when I found out I had been eating his bag of cookies instead of mine! I have thie picture of the mother going out for lunch with her friends after church and telling them all about the woman at the scrapbook show who ate her sons animal crackers.
"Don't feel totally, personally and irrevocably responsible for everything. That's MY job. Signed, GOD" |
| little feather |
Posted - Sep 21 2005 : 3:29:45 PM
Oh Lisa, that is such a great story! What a sweet little boy to share his cookies with you!
His Mom must have been very proud of him!
Where ever you go, go with all your heart!
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| LisaBee |
Posted - Sep 20 2005 : 09:19:40 AM
I have so many...where to start? Here is one that makes my family cry laughing when it is retold. Two years ago, I was at a scrapbook show and decided to leave my booth to my employees and go sit somewhere quietly and do some paperwork. On the way to the lounge area, I found a vending machine and got a pretty good sized bag of animal crackers out of it. I got to a table and put down my paperwork, supplies, and crackers. Deciding that a hot cup of coffee would go well with the crackers, I went and got some. When I got back to my table, there was an adorable little black child (about 6 or 7) sitting there with his coloring book and crayons. Guess what he was eating? MY animal crackers. Well, I decided it was no big deal - there were plenty to share. I sat down, got organized and reached for a cookie myself. He watched me, and then took another one. I took one and offered the bag back to him. This went on until there was one cookie left in the bag. Neither one of us wanted to be the one to take the last cookie, so there it sat. A few minutes later, the little boy's mother walked up, looked down at the almost empty bag of cookies and then at her son. He nodded over to me and I smiled at her and shook my head as if to say that it was ok with me that we shared my cookies. She then took the last cookie, broke it in HALF and gave us each a piece. She asked her son to gather up his things because it was time to go. He did, and waved good-bye. I was feeling pretty good..we shared some quiet time together over a bag of cookies. A little while later, my coffee gone and my paperwork caught up, I gathered my things to leave. Guess what I found? MY BAG OF COOKIES!!! I never could find that little boy or his mother to explain and I have often wondered what their version of the story was.
Don't feel totally, personally and irrevocably responsible for everything. That's MY job. Signed, GOD |
| greyghost |
Posted - Sep 20 2005 : 09:01:49 AM
jenny loise, I did the exact same thing! My husband's cousin wore the exact same outfit as my husband has one day, and I just thought that it was him in the kitchen (big family gathering) and affectionately patted him on the shoulder and trailed my hand down his back. Imagine my shock when it wasn't Dave but his cousin! He made a big deal about it and I was so red with embarassment I had to go outside for a while. |
| Aunt Jenny |
Posted - Sep 20 2005 : 06:55:40 AM
Last night I was making some calls (more than one call usually makes for a mess for me..I lose track of who I called alot on a list) but since it was mainly one call I thought I would be fine. I had called to ask a cow question..called a dairy man that I know from church and got his wife, Kathy. She said to call back at 9:30..or as late as 10pm even, and he would be home to answer my question. When I called back, and a woman answered, I said "Kathy"? This is Jenny again...is your husband home yet?" and she replied..hmmmm, I have been called alot of things but never Kathy..this is Janet..but he is here, I will get him."..that didn't sink into my little mind and so when he came to the phone I expected it to be the man I called (STeve F.) anyway, I proceed to tell the guy who it is and he obviously knew me and I told him what I was looking for and he couldn't help me, which sort of surprized me since he is an expert in the area...then he said "why don't you call Steve F..he is a dairyman you know" And I sat there thinking..."who the heck am I talking to?????" So I said "that is a great idea, thanks for YOUR help" and got off the phone. I had to sit there a minute and think about what older gentleman I knew in town with a wife named Janet and then it hit me who it was..I DO know him very well ( I buy all my hay from him and he runs the local feed store) and he must have thought I was nuts to call so late and ask him that question! I feel like I need to explain to his wife why I sounded so stupid too. Geeze!!! I did end up making the call I needed to make and getting my answer...but still felt silly. After I was done with my calls I looked up the first man's phone number and it was just one number different than STeve F.'s. I guess I am lucky that it was at least someone that knew me...or maybe NOT lucky..haha
Jenny in Utah
The best things in life arn't things |
| Mumof3 |
Posted - Sep 20 2005 : 06:27:48 AM
I have laughed so much this morning!
I usually have an embarrassing moment a day it seems, but the one thing that pops into my head is when I had my first boyfriend in the 9th grade. My parents would not allow me to go out anywhere, so we had to sit in the living room and listen to music and talk. As you can imagine, the conversation was quite stilted, we really had nothing in common at all and I was very self- conscious. In a moment of deadly silence, my younger brother pops his head up from behind the chair where he had been hiding and yells "Have you two gotten queer yet?"
Needless to say, that was my first and last boyfriend for a really long time and my brother still bears the scar on his left hand where I gouged him with my fingernails. |
| bramble |
Posted - Sep 18 2005 : 08:03:12 AM
Now I am laughing Jenny Louise! Thanks for sharing that! The poor old dear , he probably hadn't had that much "excitement" at the auction in a long time, you are lucky he didn't have a heart attack!
with a happy heart |
| jenny louise |
Posted - Sep 18 2005 : 07:26:19 AM
Oh My! What a great way to start my day, these stories have me laughing and crying!
One of my moments happened at an auction, and my husband and i are interested in different things, so I went to look at one table and he went to look at the tools, and we planned to meet up again in the middle of the pavillion to wait for the auctioneer to start the bidding. I came up behind my sweetie and ran my hand up and down his back and then affectionaltley rubbed his butt and patted it while leaning my head on his shoulder. Simultaneously, I hear my hubby's voice from behind me asking what on earth I am doing. I had grabbed onto a poor elderly gentleman, who happened to be wearing the same type of shirt my husband was, and was now so stricken with confusion, he stood there and let me man-handle him. I was laughing so hard and tried to hug him and tell him i was sorry but he just wanted to get away at that point. After that, my DH and I were in the throws of laughter and the auctioneer stopped the proceedings to ask if we were o.k., and could we step outside so they could continue. I am sure that older gentleman recovered and had a good story to tell his buddies! Jenny Louise |
| MNFarmGirl |
Posted - Sep 16 2005 : 3:25:16 PM
Hey girls, some great stories, thanks for sharing them. I just recently made a big dork of myself at a movie store. My Fiance and I were driving to the movie store and he asked me if I wanted to go to the other movie store across town. The music was on loud so I replied loudly saying "no, all they have is bad movies and...(just then he turned off the car) PORNO'S". Everyone in the parking lot turned to laugh at me. All they heard was porno. To make it worst we kept running into the same people at the grocery store and all over town. I have so many dumb stories of me; I never know when to keep my mouth shut.  Aubrey |
| sqrl |
Posted - Sep 16 2005 : 08:22:46 AM
Bramble thats a great story.
Blessed Be
www.sqrlbee.com www.sisterhood.sqrlbee.com
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| bramble |
Posted - Sep 15 2005 : 7:27:21 PM
Okay ...embarrassing moment #999 of my dippy, klutzy and all too goofy life! When I was in college I worked at a mall and was trying to fit in some Christmas shopping on a break. I had the worst cold ever( the kind where even your ears are stuffed up!), was so tired from exams I could hardly concentrate and all of a sudden here was this gorgeous man trying to talk to me in the Sporting Goods store! I couldn't make heads or tales of his words and he must have thought I was truly demented. After I paid, he followed me through the doorway and started to point toward my feet. I thought he was offering to take one of my bags and as I reached out to give him one I realized that my half slip had fallen down past my kneelenghth skirt and was resting on top of my knee high granny booted feet!( I guess I had lost some weight?!)Cute guy, bad elastic...what's a girl to do? I quickly stepped out of the slip and flung it into the nearest trash can and scurried away back to work! I must have been 150 shades of red! To top it off, the cute guy later came on his break and brought me a cup of tea and an offer to go lingerie shopping! Cheeky monkey!
And just where is that cute guy today you ask? I fixed him up with one of my friends and they have been married now almost 18 years! But he still tells the story about when he met me and I couldn't keep my clothes on!
with a happy heart |
| Luzy |
Posted - Sep 15 2005 : 4:52:03 PM
Hey Bridget, I can relate to your last "oopsie" post about the phone. After a very long week at work answering phones for a huge construction company in California, I asnwered the phone" Good afternoon Alan Benders office", how may I direct your call?..........The problem was, I was at home!!!! Fatigue and being a giant goofball just doesn't mix well! |
| Bridge |
Posted - Sep 15 2005 : 3:34:35 PM
Ok, I have done so many of these that it would take hours to tell them.
Here is some of the "classics"
Well I showed up to work on my vacation day, My boss came out and said what are you doing here? (That one made the Christmas poem at work)
I was aggervated at someone at work and wanted to "vent" to a girlfriend so I was going to Instant Message her. Well I selected the person I was aggervated with by accident insted of my girlfriend, boy was that a mess....
I answer the phone all day at a help desk, once I answered Hello this is Bridgette Can I help ME? The person about died laughing!! |
| Aunt Jenny |
Posted - Aug 03 2005 : 5:39:27 PM
I am trying to decide which of 8,000 embarrassing moments I will tell you gals. I embarrass myself all the time!!
Jenny in Utah
The best things in life arn't things! |
| bubblesnz |
Posted - Aug 03 2005 : 3:24:34 PM
I can laugh now too JPbluesky, but at the time, wished the floor would open up and swallow me.
The specialist was a young guy and thought he must have had a right one here.!!
A great oak, is just a little nut which held it's ground. |
| jpbluesky |
Posted - Aug 03 2005 : 2:34:13 PM
bubblesnz - Oh my gosh, I have not laughed that hard in a long time, which is really saying a lot, since all of you guys make me smile each day! That is a great one!
Keep driving, lady! :)
jpbluesky
Heartland girl |
| Eileen |
Posted - Aug 02 2005 : 12:44:15 PM
Sharon, been there seen that said exactly the same thing much to my chagrin.
All of you have such cute embarrasing moments. I have laughed all morning over these.
To this day I have an ongoing battle with wearing anything white. It seems that on me White anything is a magnet for a collosal stain at the most inappropriate moment! Usually the stain is something that will not come out with a trip to the ladies room and a damp paper towel. So many times I cannot count I have been somewhere I would rather crawl under a table than stand there smiling like nothing was wrong when there was this mamouth stain right on my front in a place that seems to draw undue attention. I have come home so embarrassed but my husband always laughs and finds something funny about how people react to my stains such as trying not to stare at it or making some funny comment. I have begun thinking that I should just carry around a sharpie marker to draw little eyes and noses on some of my stains and call it art fabric!
Eileen
songbird; singing joy to the earth |
| sleepless reader |
Posted - Aug 02 2005 : 11:14:57 AM
Many years ago I was having Thanksgiving at my boyfriend's home. All 5 of his sibs and their girlfriends/spouses were there. His mom turned to me and asked what I thought of the new wall paper. I said it was lovely, but shouldn't the plants (in the pattern) be growing up? They had put all the wall paper on upside down...bamboo growing to the ground, from the sky! Someday I'll learn to stop at "it's lovely"!!!
Sharon |
| bubblesnz |
Posted - Aug 01 2005 : 11:11:46 PM
I had one not long ago and still feel embarassed about it. Had to see the specialist. Now I had a hysterectomy years and years ago. He said asked me, "Do you cycle?" No, I said, drive a car. Just not onto thinking about periods any more and thought he was talking about excercise!!! Jeezzzzzzzz, did I feel a dork.
A great oak, is just a little nut which held it's ground. |
| MeadowLark |
Posted - Aug 01 2005 : 8:14:04 PM
I was out at an air landing strip with DH and it was early morning in the Fall and loaded with lovely Canadian Geese arising from a night of rest before their migration south... Dh said ( he is a pilot) that often times Canadian Geese will spend nights on migration paths on landing strips, and runways. Just as he said that the geese stretched their wings and ran taking off into the gentle south breeze. I replied, "Is it because they see a runway and it is smooth easy landing for them?...He looked at me like I had lost my mind and busted out laughing..."Geese don't land on runways like airplanes dear..." I had bought his line hook line and sinker that geese patrol the airspace looking for landing strips to land on for the night. DUH!!!!!!
The flowers flee from Autumn, but not you-
You are the fearless rose that grows amidst the freezing wind. Rumi |
| little feather |
Posted - Aug 01 2005 : 12:52:37 PM
Hey- it's nice to hear of so many fellow klutzies!
They call me Grace, not because I am. My poor 8 year old son has the same "illness".
We are such a pair, the rest of our family is afraid to go out in public with us.
I trip over anything. If there is a mat in an entry way, I'll trip over it.
In fact I broke my wrist tripping- up- stairs.
I've given myself a black eye with the edge of my car door. Oh, my poor husband really didn't want to be seen with me then.
My baby boy has broken his arm twice tripping on the play ground at school.
We compare our bruises each night.
I also have a horrible habit of mixing my words around and saying the wrong things at the wrong time.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost |
| Clare |
Posted - Aug 01 2005 : 11:30:27 AM
Lucinda, ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Too funny!
**** Love is the great work - though every heart is first an apprentice. - Hafiz
Set a high value on spontaneous kindness. - Samuel Johnson****
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| jpbluesky |
Posted - Aug 01 2005 : 11:10:09 AM
I am laughing out loud all alone in the house!!!! That is hilarious! Hey, if he was a big strapping blonde nordic guy....I doubt you would have been allergic to him! :)
My daughter would have loved to have one of those tents for her Barbies. I thought they were pretty cute, too. What a great mom story!
jpbluesky
Heartland girl |
| thehouseminder |
Posted - Aug 01 2005 : 10:50:27 AM
FUNNY! I know a couple of police officers here who got into a little trouble because they were riding around in their cruiser wearing little plastic pig snouts .
jpbluesky, When I was a kid, I wanted one of those little tents really badly for my Barbie. Mom mother tried to get the store manager to sell her one and he advised her he was not allowed to sell them or give them away. Then he took her aside and confided that they would be throwing them away on a certain date, he would be working that night, and he generally took the trash out around 10:30 p.m. >wink< This was one of those times when it was clear how much my mom really loved me because she made arrangements to drive into town in the dark of night and collect the model tent which was neatly wrapped in plastic and sitting by the dumpster. What a nice man too!
Anyway, I've done too many silly things to count but the one that stands out:
I was in Finland on business. The trip had been planned for months so I tried to learn some Finnish but it has to be one of the most complex and subtle languages ever. It does not help that each word seems to be at least 18 letters long. The Finns speak very softly and they do not accent part of any word. I only managed to learn, "please," "thank you," "please point me to the ladies room," and very importantly, "No fish please. I'm allergic."
Most everywhere we went the young Finnish restaurant servers spoke at least four languages, some as many as eight. Most people under thirty spoke "British" but at a restaurant located at the top of a sky needle (similar to the Seattle Space Needle) our server was a big strapping blond boy who spoke only Finnish and Swedish, their two official languages. No problem, I thought. I informed him of my fish concerns. To my surprise, his face turned bright red and he ran back to the kitchen. A different waiter appeared, one who spoke British, and asked if I would tell him in my language what I needed. I told him I just can't have fish because I am allergic to it. He busted out laughing but assured be that the venison was a good choice. He later confided that there are many word for fish in their language and the one I happened to use is mainly spoken as a slang word for SEX.
Lucinda
Who loves a garden still his Eden keeps, Perennial pleasures plants, and wholesome harvest reaps. ---Bronson Alcott
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