| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| babysmama |
Posted - Aug 20 2007 : 09:12:01 AM
My mother-in-law and her new husband are coming for a visit this week. She is very picky and fussy (she is JUST like the mother-in-law on "Everybody Loves Raymond") and we are low on money this week so I am trying to come up with simple yet good meals while they are here and my mind is blank!! My garden is not producing well so any produce out of there isn't going to help. Does anyone have any menu ideas for me? She isn't picky when it comes to onions or spicy things, just picky about how the only way to cook is her way.
Also, I am not a big morning person and do not care for big breakfasts but they are obsessed with having HUGE breakfasts. Last time she came she kept hinting to my three year old "Are you going to help mommy make breakfast?" Well, I made huge waffles and sausage but she asked "No eggs?" and I stated that "No, I suppose this should fill us up" But she went ahead and made eggs so I figure why try. Is it rude for me NOT to make breakfast when I have two small children to tend to in the morning when they are extra clingy and I always have frozen waffles, cinnamon rolls, and cereal on hand.
-Elizabeth |
| 18 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| abbasgurl |
Posted - Aug 28 2007 : 9:23:15 PM
Oh my Elizabeth...You deserve a hot bath & a good nap Dear. Glad things are back to normal for you.
Rhonda
I'm a one girl revolution. |
| paradiseplantation |
Posted - Aug 28 2007 : 08:25:13 AM
Elizabeth - Sounds like you spent a tense weekend with your inlaws. I know how you feel, because mine are the same. Only, my MIL doesn't come straight out and critcize, she just hints around and tells all the rest of them how 'she just doesn't understand' why I do the things I do or the way I do them. She drives me about batty! My heart is with you, and I agree with Alee, it sounds like you did pretty good with them. Now, put them out of your mind and enjoy the day you have -- without them!!!!!
from the hearts of paradise... |
| Alee |
Posted - Aug 28 2007 : 07:50:42 AM
Oh Elizabeth-
I am so sorry that the visit was stressful, but it sounds like you ended up coping well and I hope now you can get a little rest! *hugs*
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for typing, one hand to hold Nora!
http://home.test-afl.tulix.com/aleeandnora/ |
| babysmama |
Posted - Aug 28 2007 : 07:40:05 AM
My in-laws left Saturday morning. We survived. It went a little better than expected because our eleven year old neice came along and we were able to spend time with her.
One of the first things that my mother-in-law said when she walked in the house was "don't you have a fly swatter?" It had been raining for days and the flies were starting to enter the house but they acted like our house was swarming with flies. THe next day they told me that we should spray the house for flies and I said that I do not use chemicals and she said "You HAVE to do something". I ignored that comment but they continued to run around the house with a fly swatter and kill all the flies, leaving dead bodies and blood stains on the walls (if that isn't gross than I don't know what is).
I also made homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast but when she asked what we were having for breakfast and I told her she said that wouldn't be enough for her husband and made sauasage, eggs, potatoes, and toast. I didn't bother on breakfast the next few days and let them cook instead.
The thing that annoyed me most was that we offered to help out a little with gas money if they needed help (mind you, we aren't rich and were low on money that week) but she did tell me that $80 would be enough to help. I figured that if they needed it we could help. I handed her the $80 and later that day at Wal-mart she handed our neice $53 to buy a Baby Alive that she wanted. WHAT???? Apparently they didn't need the money.
My computer died while they were here and I had to order another one. Right now I am using my brother's borrowed lap top. Our tv also died. It seems that they bring a lot of bad luck with them!! Jacob's cut is healing up though and he is doing good. Thank you all for your ideas and thoughts. It is nice to have someone to turn to when you need some advice or just an ear to talk to!
-Elizabeth |
| Kathie |
Posted - Aug 21 2007 : 4:50:50 PM
SOME Mother-in-laws feel as if they just need to want to try to put you on the Spot all the time..
Something about 'Taking" away their baby or something i think!
But they want to make YOU feel as if you just Not quite doing it right or something!!
Mine was pretty awful when we were newly married..
I just wanted to smack her when she opened her mouth.. ya know?
Well naturally this just isn't what i got to do.. since yes.. She WAS my Husbands Mom.. How VERY unfortunate for me!!
But She'd Always say the most stupid things everytime she came over..
Like 'She just isn't used to cooking for a family yet' ..
( Stupid Cow.. ) Yes I was .. i just wasn't used to cooking for Ignorant people that didn't have any table manners.. & Ate as if it were going to be their last dang meal!
ok.. Back to YOUR MIL !!! Sorry!!
She some how needs to try to make YOU feel inadequit By trying to make HERSELF look like SHE some how KNOWS better what should be done!
They are so weird that way.. aren't they??
As if THEIR way is the ONLY way..
She just needs to be reminded.. Sweetly.. That here.. in OUR house..
WE have found that WE seem to function better on a less Heavy Breakfast!
So Maybe Do a big pan of Scramebled Eggs.. & Some Sausage.. ( there she gets her Eggs!!) & your not standing there trying to fry up eggs for everyone.. or like Jo said.. Casseroles.. Breakfast AND Dinners!!
A couple more cheap quik easy dinners that we do..
Are Chicken & rice.. or Chicken & Dumplings..
And also how about Polish Sausage with Beans & Rice..
Pot Roast is always a great one Pot Dinner.. but Not always the least expensive way to go..
Hot dogs on the grill one nite would be good.. & you can make it a fun evening too.. Like a picnic atmosphere.. You know.. on the grill with chips..pull out the pickles & all the fixins!
She needs to mellow out though..
So Sorry Sweetie about the little guys.. Hopefully you all get your house back to normal soon!! but until then.. Just relax.. Slow down.. & enjoy the kids.. Don't let her stress you out.. She probably wants to see you squirm.. Some would rather think you just couldn't manage as well with out them there to guide you.. Show her you do just fine the way things are..
I'll be thinking of you!
In a World Where you Can Be Anything, Be Yourself.. |
| Alee |
Posted - Aug 21 2007 : 3:09:24 PM
Ouch! Poor little kiddo! I hope your kids start feeling better soon!!
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for typing, one hand to hold Nora!
http://home.test-afl.tulix.com/aleeandnora/ |
| babysmama |
Posted - Aug 21 2007 : 1:09:44 PM
You will never believe where I just spent the last few hours when I should have been home cleaning!! My little two year old was jumping on the air bed mattress that we have in the office for my mother-in-law and though I told the kids a million times to leave the mattress alone they didn't. You guessed it - he went flying off the mattress and hit his head on the book case. I just heard the noise and he came running to me with blood running all over his face. I got the bleeding to stop pretty quickly but the gash looked bad enough to warrent a visit to the doctor. They were able to fit me and and luckily they said the gash was straight enough that they could gluw it shut instead of stiches. Two nurses had to hold him down to keep him still while the doctor glued away. Poor little boy!!! Now he is asleep and my three year old is crying that her tummy hurts. Last time my mother-in-law was scheduled to arrive my daughter woke up constipated and cried ALL day. I gave her some Fletcher's Laxitive and she continued to cry and cry (she tends to hold it in when she thinks it will hurt) and then she finally went half an hour before the arrival! Wow - do they bring bad luck or do I bring it on myself?!
-Elizabeth
|
| Hideaway Farmgirl |
Posted - Aug 21 2007 : 11:57:38 AM
Good luck, Elizabeth! I was also going to suggest the breakfast casseroles idea...add a basket of assorted fruit, too, and try to get a jump ahead with anything you can do the night before, even setting the breakfast table with plates, napkins, silverware. The one thing about Raymond's mother that I liked on the show was that at least she'd bring over some food!
Hope you are able to have an enjoyable visit, and that your MIL can spend some quality time with her grandkids, and vice versa.
Jo
"Wish I had time to work with herbs all day!" |
| Alee |
Posted - Aug 21 2007 : 11:39:57 AM
What a wonderful insight and ideas, Brenda! And Elizabeth- I think you have the right idea- just be you! She should accept you for who you are, and if she can't then that really is sad for her. *hugs*
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for typing, one hand to hold Nora!
http://home.test-afl.tulix.com/aleeandnora/ |
| Past Blessings |
Posted - Aug 21 2007 : 08:52:19 AM
I totally agree with keeping your same routines. I think if your MIL is treated with warmth and hospitality, you have done your job . . . it shouldn't involve "re-inventing" your life to please her. If you treat her well and still keep your family life in the routine that works for your family, any dis-satisfaction on her part, is simply her issue. Some people look for problems or things to put down . . . it is because they are insecure. I happen to know from personal experience with my own MIL! I have found if I look for things to compliment her about, the negativity lessens. So maybe throwing a few compliments her way will help. I have even went so far as to have her teach me a recipe I know I could have found on my own, but it made her feel useful and warmed her up to me. Just thoughts. People that belittle others are usually very insecure, so building her up will be positive for both you and her. I wish you the best!!
Hugs & blessings,
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
| babysmama |
Posted - Aug 21 2007 : 06:41:58 AM
Thank you all for your comments! I decided today that I am not going to break my back trying to make the house spotless when she always finds something wrong with it anyway. My house is not dirty, just a little cluttered but that is because we have two small children and I like to have my piles of books, writing supplies, etc. handy. We live here and I don't mind if it shows. I bought simple meal items like lasagna, chicken, etc. and will cook things that we usually eat. With the kids getting over their cold and mine still lingering on I want to be comfortable in my own home and not pretend to be someone else. She may be surprised when she arrives but she is not a "queen bee" and as someone said - she has been acting like she wants every house to run just like her own...she can stay home next time if she doesn't want to put up with a different routine! Totally agreed. Now, I will let you girls know if I wimp out! lol She will be arriving this afternoon and leaving Saturday morning so I will update everyone at some point!
-Elizabeth
P.S. My husband feels the same way as she has always been bossy over him and acted like he wasn't good enough! He doesn't enjoy her new husband either. |
| Aunt Jenny |
Posted - Aug 20 2007 : 5:05:45 PM
I agree that you ought to be able to do your regular thing, but having had a mother in law like that in the past I wouldn't be able to (I am a total wimp when it comes to stuff like that) I would make breakfast burritos..just scrambled eggs, grated cheese and salsa or green sauce, add sausage crumbled if you like it, or hash browns to stretch it..rolled in a flour tortilla. They can even be made the night before if you wish..OR some great homemade muffins (made the night before for sure..I am a night person!...and o.j. and some simple scrambled eggs. I think waffles and sausage without eggs is plenty personally...but I know what that feels like. Probably you can't please her no matter what. Just do your best and know that we all are here for ya!!!
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
| Carol Sue |
Posted - Aug 20 2007 : 4:49:25 PM
Elizabeth, this is your home and they are guests in it. You need to do what is best and normal for your household.
Our homes are our sanctuarys, where we feel safe and warm and loved. An invitation into ones home should be given with care and caution, and resected by those invited in.
Here is a quote from a movie that I watched awhile back that has had me doing some thinking. He made this statement, Not everyone is welcome in my home, if I treat everyone the same then no one is special. That when we are allowed to share in someone's home, that that is a special invitation and a private place to be respected because it is the hub of that family.
Just a thought and proably won't change your situation, be yourself and live how you normally live and let them adjust. Remember who you are, that others cannot define that for you. Be praying for you.
Carol Sue
Enjoying life. |
| willowtreecreek |
Posted - Aug 20 2007 : 09:50:46 AM
Why not leave a menu for her an let her do the cooking! ;)
Felt and Fabric Crafts
www.willowartist.etsy.com
www.willowtreecreek.com
BLOG
www.willowtreecreek.wordpress.com |
| Nance in France |
Posted - Aug 20 2007 : 09:29:38 AM
Hey, Elizabeth! Deep breaths, now... It is so easy to get flustered and feel talentless with people like that. Just remember it is YOUR wonderful home you have invited her to, so you set the tone and get your hubby on board to back you up. If your household likes basil, could you make up a batch of pesto (or buy a jar)and put it in the fridge? I was thinking you could make pasta with pesto, salad and French bread. But to jazz it up a bit and add some protein, you could bake some salmon with pesto spread all over the top, and sprinkle finely chopped walnuts on top if you like before baking; you could get the pasta ready while the fish bakes. It is really good, and fairly simple (only pricey thing is the salmon). What about cajun "red beans and rice"? It is good vegetarian style or add sausage. Add cornbread, too and that ought to shut the old bag up (just kidding)!
And there are so many breakfast casserole recipes out there; if you made a 9 x 13 baking dish full (the night before even!), it would probably get you through a couple of breakfasts. You could also just have on hand eggs and whatever else she likes, and let HER help out in the morning one or two times. I am sure the farmgals will rally to your rescue and give you enough hints that you can strut your kitchen stuff in style! It is not what is on the plates that matters as much as the people around the table. Hope you have a great time together. Nance |
| GaiasRose |
Posted - Aug 20 2007 : 09:29:13 AM
how long is she staying? the whole week?
~*~Brightest Blessings~*~
Tasha-Rose
Blogs: http://gaiarose.wordpress.com
http://womonandsprout.wordpress.com
Homepage:
http://ForestFaeries.etsy.com
Birth is safe, interference is risky; TRUST BIRTH |
| Huckelberrywine |
Posted - Aug 20 2007 : 09:28:27 AM
Deep breath. Big hug. Some folks are just determined to be difficult. Do what you would normally do (I know, easier said than done) and maybe suggest that she could take you all out for breakfast so you have more time to chat and enjoy the kids. Might check out a book on ettiquette from the library and casually leave it open on a page about how to be a considerate house guest. ;)
We make a difference. |
| GaiasRose |
Posted - Aug 20 2007 : 09:27:01 AM
I vote you go about your normal routine (I have a MIL who is a lot like that, too) and if she doesn't like it, let her know where the grocery store is.
ETA: while that sounds a little mean and a little rude, I think she is a little bit more rude for how she behaves. make the oatmeal or whatever that you make in the am for your family. make the lunches you make and the dinners you make. Be simple but maybe add a nice desert that is not your norm.
I really see no reason to cater to someone who is rude to you.
~*~Brightest Blessings~*~
Tasha-Rose
Blogs: http://gaiarose.wordpress.com
http://womonandsprout.wordpress.com
Homepage:
http://ForestFaeries.etsy.com
Birth is safe, interference is risky; TRUST BIRTH |
