| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - May 01 2007 : 8:47:05 PM
One hand- I want to finish college, go work in healthcare administration, preferably in a hospital. I love to be around lots of people and help in anyway I can. I waited so long to go to school and worked 6 1/2 years in the military to do so. I have the awesome chance now to do it. I know I will do well in my career and I like to work outside the home. $$$ doesn't hurt either and will build us, me and DH and DS, a better life down the road... Supportive DH...
Other hand- I sometimes just want to be a farmgirl, 24/7. Buy lots of acreage in Texas, grow a garden, make my own bread, attend to housework like hanging clothes on the clotheslines, being frugal and finding ways to make pennies stretch. Can my own food, re-finish furniture, have all sorts of critters around. Homeschool my son and joing 4-H...Supportive DH...
How do I find the balance if there is any such thing? Is it wrong to want it all? I know I should just take it one day at a time but.... |
| 9 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Horseyrider |
Posted - May 03 2007 : 3:42:36 PM
I think it's possible to have both, but it depends on so many variables, such as the ages of your children, proximity to schools and good paying jobs, etc. Maybe it'd be helpful to tell you how I did it.
I hadn't quite finished my degree when I married, and I was almost immediately pregnant. In order to fund the growing family we knew one of us would have to go back to school, and it seemed like the most sensible option was to send hubby back for his MBA. I raised the kids and did all the household jobs; hubby went to school and to work. When he graduated we bought a piece of country property. I worked at home making the maximum return for his earned dollars by joining a co-op, growing a huge garden, raising a few animals for meat, milk, and eggs, and keeping out of the expenses of the workforce (transportation, clothing, child care, meals out, etc.).
When my kids were in junior high and high school, I went back to school. I transferred my credits and got an ag degree, specializing in my passion, horses. As graduation approached, the faculty asked if I would join them as an instructor after graduation. Over the years, jobs found me; I've worked at many jobs in the horse industry including trainer, farrier, college level instructor, youth advisor and coach, and even worked in a tack store. All through this I've worked to stay within my husband's income and keep mine for savings or extras, so I would never have to be dependent on the income and could go back to being a full time mom/homemaker if I chose.
The kids are long grown and now have families of their own. I quit my full time training job about two years ago to return to full time farmgirl fun and schooling only my own horses. The self discipline of living within hubby's income has paid off, and we're doing fine financially.
Over the winter I heard that a stay at home mom works the equivalent of two full time jobs. I put in 25 years doing that, so I figure it's the same as 50 years at any other occupation. My hubby has had about 30 years at his job, so I asked him how it feels to be about 20 years behind me! Now I say I'm semi-retired, especially when there's something I don't feel like doing. 
I don't know if all this helps you any, but I've always felt like I didn't have to give up anything that was important to me, and that I really did get to do it all. Just not all at once.
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| catscharm74 |
Posted - May 02 2007 : 3:47:30 PM
I do have college paid for thanks to 6 1/2 years in the military. Plus, I am receiving some Pell Grants, so why not take the opportunity?
I have a great DH who just wants me to be happy. I swear, I could shave my head and starting wearing sheets around as clothing and he would just ask "Am I happy??" (That and what am I wearing underneath ;) )
I do get time with my son now, even though he is daycare while I study and run errands but our time together is full of fun and play.
I do want to work- I love to work- It keeps me sane. I don't know if I could be a full time farmgirl, just don't know...maybe not now but down the road..
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| Vintage Redhead |
Posted - May 02 2007 : 3:18:10 PM
I'm going to be the devil's advocate here. Why? Because I'm *not* living the farm life, I have the mortgage, I went to school, I had the student loans. Here is my "short" story.
Right out of high school, I left for college - it was supposed to be two years to become a Court Reporter. That wasn't for me. It turned into a 4-year BS program. My sophomore year, I met a great guy and after our first date, I called my mom and told her I knew we would get married. He was working on his MS. My senior year, we got married; he was working on his PhD. While he finished that up, I got my MS. Five degrees and $40,000 later, we moved first to Altoona, PA so he could teach at Penn State; I worked in higher ed, then insurance. After 5 years of him teaching, we moved back to Chicago where we now live the rat race in the suburbs. Of couse, he is no longer in higher ed either: it doesn't pay very well. He is now in the corporate world which pays three times what higher ed did; of course, it's also three times the hours.
The good news is that we were able to pay off our student loans early. I can also stay home with my two sons. We're also able to put away for *their* college educations. We make the mortgage here in the suburbs. We don't drive new cars, but that's okay because I prefer my old truck.
What wouldn't I trade?
~ I wouldn't trade my DH...he is truly my soul mate and most days, I'm not entirely sure how he puts up with me!
I wouldn't trade my two sons...they are the two most precious gifts I have ever been given.
~ I wouldn't trade the years that I have had home with my sons...I knew the time would pass, but I didn't realize it would seem like I was standing still while it happened.
What *would* I trade?
~ I would trade this house in for something in the country. In a heart beat! To be away from this noise, nonsense, overcrowded school, people whose only concern in money and prestige...I could walk away from all of this. Some days, it even feels like a struggle to stay put.
~ I would walk away from the debt that we incurred in college. Was it worth it for me? The jury is still out. I may have benefitted more had I gone back for my MS later in life. But talking out the other side of my mouth...it has opened doors that would not have even been available had I not had it.
People say life is a journey, not a destination. Pshhah! Life *is* a journey, but happiness means you accept a layover on a desert isle and you *make do* with whatever comes your way. We all know what our desination is - box or urn, take your pick. I'm out to enrich and fulfill while I can before then.
All I can tell you to do is to follow your own heart.
~ Kaylyn ~ (Living in Suburbia with a FARMGIRL Heart!)
My Cause: http://nickspavilion.blogspot.com/
My Life: http://vintageredhead.blogspot.com |
| lisamarie508 |
Posted - May 02 2007 : 12:58:26 PM
You CAN have both. My career isn't what I went to school for, but it allows me time to do what I want and to be there for my family. I only have a half acre, but I have a large garden, fruit trees, multiple flower gardens, a clothes line and bake bread, cookies, do canning, etc on weekends. Some things, I even do in the morning and evening before and after work. If you want it bad enough, you can achieve it. It takes time to find the right balance but it can be done. I finally found mine and couldn't be happier.
We come from Nature, we go back to Nature; health & happiness in between requires intimacy with Nature. |
| Alee |
Posted - May 02 2007 : 12:46:46 PM
A garden can be kept up on the weekends, and chickens can be taken care of easily morning and night (especially if they are free range). Also weekends are a great time to do a weekly baking and weekly washings and such. Maybe you could also only work part time if you decide you are really lovin' the country life :)
Alee |
| blueroses |
Posted - May 02 2007 : 10:59:18 AM
I have the same pull for just taking off my suits and pumps and staying home with chores like baking the bread, caring for animals, having wash day etc. All I can say is that it is so heartwarming to know that so many of us share these wants and needs. I have to try to find a balance and make it work so that I can earn a living doing what I know I'm good at and still nuturing my farmgirl self.
"You cannot find peace...by avoiding life."
Virginia Woolfe |
| Miss Bee Haven |
Posted - May 02 2007 : 10:24:42 AM
Lizabeth's idea has worked for me for lots of decisions, both large and small. Take some alone/quiet time and just make a list of both options - both the 'for' and 'against' aspects of both choices. There's something about writing it all down and just looking at it...maybe it just makes me focus and really think.
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?" - 'Brother Dave' Gardner |
| ponyexpress |
Posted - May 02 2007 : 07:13:07 AM
Yes, you can have it all...but perhaps not all at the same time. Going to school seems to have been a long term goal for you and I firmly believe that investing in your education is never a waste of money or time. Many on this forum have shown that you can have a farmgirl spirit without necessarily living on large acreage.
I have a good friend who is living the life you describe - 160 acres, sheep, raises horses, etc. But she also works outside the farm, as does her husband, and it's because farm life and profits from farm commodities are unpredictable. She never wants to be in the position of having to sell valuable animals that she has worked so hard to develop in order to pay the bills.
I've learned that it takes as much time and energy to wish as it does to plan.
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| Lizabeth |
Posted - May 01 2007 : 10:05:22 PM
Dear catscharm,
first, thank you for your military service! You are an incredible person to serve and to have a family.
I, too, am struggling with similar decisions. I have wanted to get my nurses training for 8 or nine years. I have all the prerequisites, and have even been accepted to two different programs (one 8 years ago, one two years ago) each time it was not the right timing and the door was closed. So now I have my DS and I have not been working very often until last week when I started a .6 as a tech in the ER (what I was doing before my DS was born). I am reminded each time I work a shift how much I enjoy patient care and on one hand I would love to try again to get in a nursing program. I have been encouraged by my co-workers and supervisors that I have an aptitude for nursing and should pursue my degree.
Yet, I have been watching and waiting for the right piece of property and just today my realtor emailed me with a great listing, so I am going to visit it tomorrow. Like you said, I could have chickens and a large garden and a line to dry clothes... and the best thing would be that we could sell our current home and use the profit to pay off my student loan, have some in savings... which means I wouldn't "have" to work; I could if I wanted but not if I don't. I love to sew and cook and "keep house". I want my DS to have a free childhood, uncluttered, not rushed.
So is it time to set aside my interest and ability in nursing? is there another way to use this gift?
I just don't know what the answer is. Or how to find it. Maybe we just need to set aside a day or half a day to go someplace special to us, to be quiet and write from our heart what is most important to us and then seeing that might help us know which way (career or farmgirling) will accomplish it.
http://www.handcraftsbyheather.com |
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