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 My mentally ill husband deserted us
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wildflower17
True Blue Farmgirl

3043 Posts

Judy
KY
USA
3043 Posts

Posted - Feb 04 2015 :  8:23:01 PM  Show Profile

So sorry that you and your family are dealing with this situation...Please know that we are here for you and that you are in our thoughts and prayers...

Hugs!

Judy

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened"...

"Country Girl at Heart...Blessed Beyond Measure"!!!

Farm Girl #5440
Farm Girl of The Month September 2013
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl

2914 Posts

Cindy

2914 Posts

Posted - Feb 04 2015 :  10:41:27 PM  Show Profile
So sorry you are going through this . Please try to understand that mental illness takes people away from their true selves. I've seen people who alienated everyone around them cause the mental illness robbed them of their rationality and the delusions created chaos for those who loved them. I pray your husband will get the help he needs and STICK WITH IT--that's the problem so many people have with mental illness--they take their meds. for a while, start feeling better, then stop the meds. and they're worse off than before. I'm lucky--I suffer from severe depression but I KNOW the medicines help so I take them and as a result, I can work full time and function in society. It hasn't always been that way and took a number of years for me to find the right balance. I pray your husband finds that balance. You sound resourceful and I know something will work out for you in this difficult time. You have my prayers.
Cindy

"Come by the hills to the land where fancy is free; And stand where the peaks meet the sky and the rocks reach the sea.Where the rivers run clear and the bracken is gold in the sun. and cares of tomorrow must wait till this day is done"--Loreena McKennit
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers

Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/
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TexasGran
True Blue Farmgirl

4919 Posts

Marilyn
Stephenville Texas
USA
4919 Posts

Posted - Jul 09 2015 :  7:07:51 PM  Show Profile
Hi Becky, I joined in April and I continue to read a bit from time to time. Tonight I landed in your story. How are you doing? Your last post was five months ago. Would you like to update us? I will add my prayers with the others.

TexasGran
#6389
Let God's light shine through you every day.
www.etsy.com/shop/
anniemayme
Amazon Children's Books, look for my name:Marilyn Robinson Godfrey
Craftsy: patterns for farm stick animals
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bec414
Farmgirl in Training

25 Posts

becky
saginaw mi
USA
25 Posts

Posted - Jul 10 2015 :  11:18:35 AM  Show Profile
We are surviving. He sends some money. I was able to get a job as an RN at a nearby nursing home two nights a week after not working for 16 years. My older two work art time jobs. We have had amazing help. Our Church is going to help put a up a fence for a bigger pasture so we can board a horse for extra feed money.
The older 4 and I are learning how to use the tractors, weed wacker and rototiller...or how to find out that we don't have the strength to use them. My 15 yo cooks a lot and my little ones are learning to cook more than PB&J
Most recently we had a Divorce vs. Separate Mantainance trial. He did not show up. He is still afraid of coming to his home state. He would have really had problems when 7 of our closest friends were at the courthouse to support me. He still have no understanding of his illness. He still won't talk to me or the children. They are dealing with it pretty well. Better than I am.
Because he didn't show up he doesn't get the divorce he wanted; three pieces of family furniture that he wanted, and he has to pay the most child support allowed by law to take directly from his check. I get the house (half equity half mortgage) and a significant amount of his retirement.
Financially the next few years will be really difficult...but as the kids grow up and leave (sniff, sniff) It will be easier. They just won't have the things and resources that they would have. I grieve that for them, but I know we will all be stronger.

Becky,
In the heart of Todd's home with my olive branches (Josie 11/96, Gabbi 9/98, Natalie 5/00, Daniel 9/02, Mary 9/04, and Tabitha 7/06) around my table. Ps 128:3

www.hillbilliesinabarn.blogspot.com
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churunga
True Blue Farmgirl

3919 Posts

Marie
Minneapolis MN
USA
3919 Posts

Posted - Jul 11 2015 :  08:12:22 AM  Show Profile
This sounds as if it is all working out for you. Let your farmgirl sisters know how we can help.

Marie, Sister #5142
Farmgirl of the Month May 2014

Try everything once and the fun things twice.
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quiltee
True Blue Farmgirl

7446 Posts

Linda
Terrell TX
USA
7446 Posts

Posted - Sep 01 2015 :  07:51:19 AM  Show Profile  Send quiltee a Yahoo! Message
Prayers for you and your family.


Farmgirl hugs,
Farmgirl #1919
Farm Girl of the Month August 2015
Linda O
Lone Oak, TX

"Women are Angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly . . . on a broomstick - we're flexible, like that."
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Bonnie Ellis
True Blue Farmgirl

2474 Posts

Bonnie
Minneapolis Minnesota
USA
2474 Posts

Posted - Sep 01 2015 :  5:12:19 PM  Show Profile
Becky, mental illness is so hard to deal with. Please know you are being prayed for and you are receiving hugs. Take one minute at a time. Breathe. Hug your kids.

grandmother and orphan farmgirl
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