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Across the Fence:  How do YOU make friends?  |
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 24 2010 : 3:07:15 PM
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since moving to the country and living in a new state for some time, i still have time getting out there and making friends! it gets me down at times.... i was going to college for awhile and that helped get me out there and i met some awesome people. problem is, my closest friends moved away and the others just seem so busy with family life, having kids.
i thought it would be easy to make friends after we were settled in a place because i wouldn't be the one moving around like i did in the navy. but it still seems people are moving all the time, especially due to the economy. people move because of jobs. plus, it seems many people don't like this country life, so they move, too!
i live in a small town and most residents here are of retired age. and i've come across some age prejudice. and i have a feeling it might be part of the problem why people stay away... when we moved here, no one came over to say hi or introduce themselves, yet everyone knew who we were and that we were new to town. so now that's it's been a few years of living here, i don't know how to make friends with those who have lived in town for awhile. i don't know if it's ok to just go to someone's house, knock on the door, and be like "hi! do you want to be friends?" i feel i need an ice breaker.
i've thought of taking some summer classes, like quilting, sewing, or something where i know the people i meet will have a similar interest. but that all depends on time and money. it's tough when you don't live in town, don't go to work or college!
so, how do YOU make friends? or maybe it just comes in time? it will happen when it happens? i love my DH, but he can't meet every social need!
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
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maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl
6784 Posts
Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2010 : 3:18:06 PM
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oh Elizabeth, I am so sorry. How about baking some cookies or something and go up to a door and say 'Hi, these are for you'! It might work... I will be praying that you will make some wonderful friends!!
Hugs,
Channah
Friendship is not something that can be bought, it is earned. |
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2010 : 3:18:35 PM
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I think your idea of taking some classes like quilting, sewing etc. is excellant. Anything that you have an interst in would be a great way to meet other people that share your same interests. I talk to everybody. When I am in the grocery store anywhere. I have had some lovely conversations that have blossomed into friendships. I would not hesitate to go to someones house you know and say gee I have lived here for a long time and we have never had the chance to chat. Or call her up and say something similar , ask if she would like to get together for coffee. You just sort of have to put yourself out there a bit. Husbands are great, but it is really wonderful to have some female companionship!
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2010 : 3:40:55 PM
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I have a hard time making friends too, because, I'm kind of shy and some times stammer when I'm nervous. So it is something I'm working hard to over come. I like the idea of taking a few classes...and there is always the thought of baking something and taking it to a neighbour. Have you considered volunteering? That is helpful too.
Good luck *hugs*
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
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Past Blessings
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Brenda
Orchard Prairie
WA
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2010 : 3:49:57 PM
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The best way is to seek to be a friend to others . . . reach out to them and you will be so happy with the return of friendship you receive. Finding these friends is the first step . . . which may mean getting involved in church, a grange, the PTA or whatever is of interest to you. And neighbor as much as you can. Bake an extra pie and bring it over. Best wishs!
Hugs & blessings,
Brenda
Come visit my blog at http.//www.pastblessings.blogspot.com |
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mscountrygirl
True Blue Farmgirl
552 Posts
Michelle
Lucedale
Mississippi
USA
552 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2010 : 4:53:27 PM
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I moved to a small town and didn't know a soul. It took me a while but some things that I did to help was get active with Friends of the Library, and I joined a political party that shared my beliefs. I attend church but I can't say that has helped make friends! Most of my friends are thru the groups I've joined. I got involved with Relay for Life. I met a lot of people doing that. If you are shy joining a group with a common goal is good.It takes the pressure off because you don't have to say anything until you are comfortable...
It's all good! |
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classygram
True Blue Farmgirl
1812 Posts
Brenda
Pleasant Hill
Mo.
USA
1812 Posts |
Posted - Feb 25 2010 : 08:56:01 AM
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Elizabeth is there a local church that you'd like to attend? Usually the people there are always happy to see new faces. And joining a group with common interest would be a great to start.Prayers are coming that you will find the joy of some close relationships.
Brenda
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony" Mahatma Gandhi |
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Feb 25 2010 : 08:57:34 AM
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You could start a farmgirl chapter too!
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
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classygram
True Blue Farmgirl
1812 Posts
Brenda
Pleasant Hill
Mo.
USA
1812 Posts |
Posted - Feb 25 2010 : 09:12:23 AM
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Great idea Annika!
Brenda
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony" Mahatma Gandhi |
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
Posted - Feb 25 2010 : 1:12:13 PM
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I was lucky my neighbors came to me with cold drinks when I was outside working. Later I started walking around the block and if I saw people sitting out side I would always say hi. Some never said hi back but a few did so at times I would stop and visit for a minute or two. We have a playground at the end of my street so I would take my grandson there to play now I know more kids than adults but you would be surprised at how many kids want a growen up to talk to. It's still not the same I have lived here for 8 years and only know a few neighbors, our church is so big no one knows one another. I hate that I came from a small church and everyone knew one another. I have the same problem my neighbors are either in their late 70's or have kids in school. I have growen son's and won't hit 60 for another year +.
I am lucky as my husband is from around here and his friends and I all get along but they are still a car ride away.
I guess I'm lucky that I love to walk and meet most people that way. Good luck. My best friend of 25 years lives 30 miles away and we saw each other everyday now I'm lucky if I see her 3 times a year.
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
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MBurns
True Blue Farmgirl
1793 Posts
Marlene
Swisher
IA
USA
1793 Posts |
Posted - Feb 25 2010 : 4:36:19 PM
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This is a good website to make friends. It is not easy to make friends in a neighborhood. Volunteering and taking classes are a good idea.
Happiness is having
farmgirl friends. |
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Feb 25 2010 : 4:51:25 PM
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thanks for all of your advice and ideas!
from what i've heard, it seems most of the people in this town are kind of hermits as well... so we are all hermits together! i do like your idea, Mary Jane... that's a great opening line "i've lived here for awhile and we've never had the chance to meet." i think that shall do the trick. people have come up to us while we were outside working, but for the most part, they acted a bit nosy. so those friendships didn't bloom. i am lucky my direct neighbor across the street and i do meet up on a regular basis... i've hinted to her to maybe introduce me to some of the townspeople, but it hasn't happened yet.
i'm not much of a church going gal, but i do occasionally chat with the preacher and his wife and helped them out last summer. we don't have any businesses in town, which is part of the problem. just the volunteer fire dept. and post office. so there's no where to meet people. and the closest town is 30 miles away and we don't go into town very much in order to save money and save on gas.
annika, like you, i'm shy, too! it is always something to work on... i have thought of volunteering, but, like i mentioned, we don't go into town all that often. i'm hoping the town will have some events this summer i can be a part of.
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
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solilly
True Blue Farmgirl
726 Posts
Lillian
Williamsburg
Virginia
USA
726 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2010 : 08:14:16 AM
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Elizabeth, I feel for you but some times you have to reach out to others. We do not live in the 40's, 50's or 60's. anymore. Most people all work and do not want to do anything when they get off work. If you grow or do things I have found out that helps. One year we had a very large watermelon crop I gave them to nebors that do not make themselve known. The following year our pumkin crop was great I made pumkin bread and gave it out. I love Christmas so I invite nebors and friends to bring a covered dish to see my decor. It is what we put in to it as to what we get out of it. Life is not always what we want. Just do what you can and it will work out. I myself like being home after being in the work force 40 years. Lilly
learning the life I always wanted. |
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acairnsmom
True Blue Farmgirl
1319 Posts
audrey
cheyenne
wy
1319 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2010 : 08:24:48 AM
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Elizabeth, I don't know if you remember me but I chatted with you some last year. I lived in Littleton Colorado at that time but DH was working in Cheyenne. I got to move up with him last November and keep trying to catch you on the forum but always have seemed to miss you.
I would love to get together with you sometime. I'm working 3/4 time now but I think I could take some time off and we could get together and do something farmgirly. I know you're much younger than I am. I'm soon to be 55, with lots of gray hair and years of soft living has made me out of shape and fat! LOL, that sounded like one of those online dating services! But, I think we have lot's of common interests. I'd love to come out and see your place and maybe we could get together this summer and do some canning or jam making and who knows maybe we could get a local chapter up and running (although it looks like it's just you and me right now)! Unfortunately today, DH and I are heading to Walden CO on business and I only have internet access at work so won't see if your reply until Monday but I wanted to catch you on a recent post. You can reply back on this topic or email me (or not...)
Audrey
Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! |
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countrymum
True Blue Farmgirl
97 Posts
Lorie
PA
USA
97 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2010 : 09:11:41 AM
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Elizabeth,the best way to make friends is by doing what you like and having a common interest with them.
For example,one of my best friends works at the local feed store. One day she had on a beautiful pin and i complimented her on it. we struck up a conversation of how she makes them out of unused jewelry and likes to craft. who knew i would make a friend by just going to buy birdseed?
the point is keep doing what you like and you will make friends when you are least expecting it.
"Life is brief & very fragile. Do that which makes you happy."- Flavia |
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maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl
6784 Posts
Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2010 : 09:35:40 AM
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You ladies have the best addvice!!
Hugs
Channah
Friendship is not something that can be bought, it is earned. |
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2010 : 3:38:13 PM
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audrey, i do remember you! i was actually thinking of getting in contact with you, but forgot which thread we'd chatted about you moving up here.... i'd love to get together... i'll e-mail you!
it's funny, as i was cleaning today i was thinking about all of you gals advice... how i can go about meeting people. i think i'm getting my motivation and courage up to go meet some townsfolk... we just cleaned out our basement and reorganized our food supply. i have lots of good canned goods that we don't need anymore since replacing them with home canned goods and dried goods and lots of toys... there is a family in town, a mom with 7 young girls who's dad is in prison, who i think could use some of these goods, so i think i'll take it over there and invite the mom over for coffee.... i'll let you know how i do!
one question i had, similar to your story, Lorie, is if you meet someone in town and feel you'd like to get to know them better, how do you go about asking them out on a "friend date?" it seems silly at times... but i feel it could be a good way to meet a friend.
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Mar 02 2010 : 08:59:44 AM
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Audrey, I just wanted to let you know I e-mailed you, so let me know if you receive it! you never know with these computers....
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
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Maryjane Lee
True Blue Farmgirl
2195 Posts
Maryjane
CA
USA
2195 Posts |
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Faransgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
895 Posts
Beth
Houston
Texas
USA
895 Posts |
Posted - Mar 02 2010 : 6:54:18 PM
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Ok, for me I lived here for about 6 years before I met anyone. Then I started to do volunteer work, first at the elementary school, then at girl scouts then I went to work for the local Horse rescue and I have met some really really great people that I know have become friends for life. You don't have to have girls to volunteer for girl scouts, there are dog, cat and other rescues all over the country. If it is something you like then there are people that have the same interests you do. Also, the classes in sewing, knitting etc are a great idea.
Farmgirl Sister 572
When manure happens just say "WOO HOO Fertilizer". |
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acairnsmom
True Blue Farmgirl
1319 Posts
audrey
cheyenne
wy
1319 Posts |
Posted - Mar 03 2010 : 07:46:30 AM
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Elizabeth, the internet has been down at work so I'm just know being able to reply. I sent you an email.
Audrey
Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! |
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farmallgrl
True Blue Farmgirl
483 Posts
Angela
Westminster
MD
USA
483 Posts |
Posted - Mar 03 2010 : 6:11:53 PM
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Well I still live in the small town where I grew up. For a while I worked as a hairdresser outside of my town and met a lot of people but never really any "friendships" as I did not like mixing business with pleasure. Now that i have been at home for 7 years, I too find it hard to make friends. Many of the people I attended high school with still live in the area, however I find that they have become completely different people and not really my "friends" anymore. So I have made friends with people older than me as they appreciate the simple life we have chosen to live. I find that some of the elderly women are eager to share stories and tradition with me to pass along. I will never forget the older lady who offered to give me spinning lessons. She was just sooo excited that a young woman would want to learn. She has since taken ill, but my point is to take classes and for that matter risks to introduce yourself. Sometimes it just takes a nice act of kindness and a listening ear:)
Angela
Farmgirl Sister #337
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MrsRooster
True Blue Farmgirl
1168 Posts
Amy
Seabrook
TX
USA
1168 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2010 : 10:50:49 AM
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I am new to Texas. All my friends and family are 1300 miles away. So I am having a hard time also. I don't speak Spanish, so that can be a big barrier too. I came from a small town. It is very different living on the outskirts of Houston, TX.
I can't seem to find anyone with similar interests. I found a great church. That helps some. I go to a ladies study and Lunch Bunch.
But I am a stay at home Mom. So I spend most days puttering around the house. Bri goes to pre-K Mon - Fri 7:15 - 2:45. I do alot of needlework and read lots of books. Most of my time is spent with my hubby and daughter.
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2010 : 10:04:06 AM
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Just wanted to post an update... I feel like after I posted this inquiry everything has been coming together as far as meeting people!
Audrey and I have gotten together twice now and write e-mails to each other just about every day... I'm so ecstatic to have met her! All I can think about is all the fun things we can do together and how much we already connect!
It seems her interests and enthusiasm have spurred me to become more outgoing... so I got out there and chatted with a local lady (who really should be the ultimate farmgirl... she's written books about her exciting country life!) and offered myself up for any volunteer work she might have. She was delighted, and she showed interest in starting up a local quilting or craft club! Which would be an awesome way to meet people! Who knows... maybe Audrey passed it onto me, and then I passed it onto another woman who was just itching to get together and meet new farmgirl friends! Wish us luck!
And thank you to all of you gals suggestions and stories on meeting people and making friends!
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
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CherryPie
True Blue Farmgirl
935 Posts
Kimberly Ann
Puyallup
WA
USA
935 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2010 : 10:42:04 AM
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Oh Elizabeth, I am right with you! I don't want to sound desperate but I could really use some like-minded friends to share time with and just have fun. I have never been great at making friends, I'm shy and I think I come off as aloof or maybe too intense. I really hope I can get to some classes or events this summer that will help me meet new folks but my experience has been that those kind of things seem to spawn acquaintances that don't seem to "stick" as friendships. Here's hoping that this summer will bloom with friendships for us all!
Kimberly Ann
Farmgirl Sister #225
Crochet Geek, Newbie Fiddler, Would-be Farmer, Backyard Chicken Rancher, Eager Podcaster
http://beesinourbonnetsintheburbs.blogspot.com/
Podcasts at http://thefannyfarm.blogspot.com/ |
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2010 : 2:21:37 PM
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Good luck to you Kimberly Ann! It is hard when you're shy... I'm one of those shy people! And I feel the same way, like I'm aloof, clumsy, and I've even heard that some people view shy people as "stuck-up" because we don't talk to people right away... Sometimes I feel it's not fair that we would be seen that way, but I suppose I can see that point of view... I like to feel people out before I start chatting, it's just the way I am. Unless I do have chemistry with someone right away, and that's always wonderful, but usually pretty rare.
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
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Across the Fence: How do YOU make friends? |
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How do YOU make friends?
